Attention Bay Area Swirlers! A MeetUp Group You Should Definitely Join!

Hey Christelyn, 

I just saw this. I love the video. It's grown and chic. :)  We all enjoyed hanging with you and Janice. Thanks for the Cocoa Fly shout out. I'm glad you enjoyed my moderating. I agree about working the online/offline strategy. Meetup is great and you meet a lot of great people. The Sisters and White Misters group has a lot of fun. And even if you don't meet men in your group, you can meet other men indirectly when kicking it with your groups. But ladies, you gotta get out of the house! :) 

Mod's Note:

I have taken the liberty of lifting this recent post from its original thread "The Racial Switch-A-Roo: What One BB&W Girl Learned from an Informal Online Dating Experiment"  since I feel it adds to the discussion in this one.

Oaktown Paul 5 pts

A lot has been said, and I appreciate hearing the perspective of so many black females.  Not much I can add to that discussion.  But I can add my limited perspective. 

For me, one thing is certain.  White men and black woman both “know” there is a large percentage of the “other sex” that will reject being in a white  man / black woman  relationship.   This is our mutual problem. 

It is not just the fear of rejection (which , I agree, men need to get over), it is also a matter of time.  I, for one, do not have the time to approach 20 black women to find out that 19 have no interest in dating a white guy.  I just don’t.   

So, what needs to be done?  Both men and women have to get better at “putting it out there”---  that they are interested and/or willing to consider a multi-racial relationship.  Depending on the site, I guess this can be done online.  And, maybe, the “false multi-racial listing experiment” (that started this whole discussion) might simply be seen as one way of communicating a willingness to explore a relationship with the other (listed) races.  (It could also be seen several other ways – but that has been discussed.)

Now, is lying the best way to communicate a willingness to consider a multi-racial relationship? Probably not, but I do not Judge.        

What better ways might exist?  Let’s see, advice to men from this man’s perspective.

1.  Flirt with black women --- just for the fun of it.   Even if she is not interested, other black women may notice you are showing an interest in women of color.    

2. Become friends with black women --- Just for the fun of it.  Even if she is not interested, other women may notice you are showing an interest in women of color.   

3. Show up at events and join groups that include black women.  (then refer back to items 1 and 2.)

[Repeat as necessary.]

Now, advice to women --- from a white guy’s perspective.

1.  Flirt with white men  --- just for the fun of it.    While I agree men “should” approach, I am twenty times more likely to approach a black female if she makes eye contact and smiles.  (This is real, I went up and introduced myself to a group of 7 black women because one of them smiled and made eye contact with me.  There were other black women in the room, but I did not have “time” to meet everyone.)         

2. Become friends with white men  --- Just for the fun of it.  Even if he is not interested, other men may notice you are open to this possibility.   

3. Show up at events and join groups that include white men.  (then refer back to items 1 and 2.)

[Repeat as necessary.]

Everyone has the opportunity to help break down the barriers to IRR.  Just do what you can.     

Hey didn't miss pickle puss ilovemysonwill on the other thread say that guys are not checking for black women????

What goes on here Chris?  What are these guys doing at that table??????????

Now I like this!

Totally agree with Christelyn on this one. The online/offline hybrid seems to be the best for putting yourself out there! Good luck ladies!

I have joined several meet up groups, I agree with Christelyn get out there!!!