Author and Professor Found Love & Marriage Travelling Overseas; Talks Colorism in Latino/Asian Swirl

hmmmm....a lesbian calling someone a nigger lover???????m thats so stupid all i can do is laugh.

Love this post! I've met way more men abroad than at home in Canada. Met my current significant other (who is German) while we were both working in Hong Kong. Now we've been doing long distance for over a year since his job sent him back to England. Thank god for Skype! We "see" other every day. Being in a long distance relationship is tough, but has allowed us to pursue our interests in travel- we often meet up in random destinations all over the world and have what I liken to mini-honeymoons... lol...

Anyway, his family has been very welcoming of me- no worries or issues about my chocolate skin. Long distance will soon be over as I'm moving to the UK to be with him. So, what's the point of this story? Travelling is awesome for many reasons, including the possibility of love.... Had I not moved to Hong Kong to work I would have never met the man who is the coolest person I've met to date... Had I never never studied and worked abroad in France and Mexico I wouldn't have even been open to moving to Hong Kong AT ALL as back in the day Asia was never on my radar.

So seize the day and make use of all opportunities made available to you! Travel has changed my life... for the better!

I think it's great that his parents got along with Lori. Now though I'm concerned about classism, homophobia, orientalism, etc.

I mean if the classism is applied uniformly to everyone as opposed to being mixed with racism I guess we are progressing? Sort of? Can't look for a utopia I suppose.

I also don't think I like the idea of being an honorary light skinned person. It doesn't solve racism it just means I'll be more accepted the more others view me to be similar to someone who has had historical privilege. Ultimately that isn't helpful.

.. but again the world is so messed up, we have so far to go, one step at I time I guess...

P.S. LOVE College travel! I had the opportunity to got to Ecuador one summer and Mexico the next. I learned a lot. All students in university should take advantage of it for sure :)

Now, they might have that xenophobia thing going on, but they behaved like other Europeans did… they pretty much liked black Americans, might have had problems with black Africans or other groups they thought wanted to immigrate there. It was more of a nationalistic prejudice than a purely racial one.

I don't know, the few times I been around there, the men take liberties with you. But maybe it's because I scream African, they way I look and acts and sounds. But for some reason they tend to leave me alone when I'm walking with my husband ;)

My in laws are planing to buy a house in Spain or Italy to retire down there so I guess I'll be spending some more time there later.

You only need to drive on a highway to see were they get their liberties and views from. Who doesn't get cocky when you can buy a Ghanan or Nigerian teen for 20 euros? Same thing in Italy, just google it.

I guess you guys could use your American privilege and get out of that one. But never fear visiting new places, I don't let things like this bother me. I can handle myself and as long as no one is whipping me with a sjambok I'll be fine even with grabby 'southerners'.

Just don't be fooled by all the bravado from these men, they can be a lot like some black men in that way, lots of strutting around like a peacock and not much inside.

Spain is an interesting place indeed. Lots of unrest amongst internal regions. I had a friend (BW) who when her Spaniard BF took her home, the family was relieved she wasn't from Andulasia more than anything else. The family was Catalan BTW.

I always say; to get a 'feel' of a country and know it from within, you need to live there for AT LEAST a year (preferably TWO).
Anything less than 1 year is not living there imo, you're still an outsider looking in.
You need to live there for a while to start feeling like a citizen and not just a tourist.
Any country can be great if you've only lived there for six months!

So my advice, if you want to know a country, i mean REALLY know a country and how it is and will be when you do actually (if you do) live there for good (!), not only should you learn the language, but also their customs, traditions etc

I recently wrote a blog post about going abroad after reading an article in The Root about black expats. I always encourage black women to get out in the world. I missed the chance to study abroad in college because of my major changes, not-so-great GPA, and broke-ness. But made up for it with three years in Japan and had a blast. Not only did I meet blacks from the states while I was in Japan but also from other places like Kenya and England. My "world" in Detroit was pretty small; meeting someone from not around there meant that they were from Atlanta. So it was interesting to meet women that were there for various reasons. I have quite a few friends that have gone abroad as and it's just fun to talk about the different experiences we had in the different places.

@Rebecca it's not to late to relive your dream. I'm currently living in Korea teaching english. Teaching english is a sure way to live abroad and explore another country. I'm so grateful for this opportunity because I've wanted it for so long. I'm hoping to go to Europe next year. that is my ultimate dream. It's never to late to fulfill your dreams!

Spaniards from spain are not as colorstruck as Latinos generally, they are Europeansand i feel they kind of have that same thing going on as the Italians. Not to say racism and xenophobia dont exist in these countries

I remember reading her other book, Kinky Gazpacho: Life, Love & Spain, I look forward to reading this one as well.

The one thing I regret about going to college is not being able to participate in a semester overseas program. I wasn't able to go because of money, time and the fear of the unknown. If I could go back I would have definitely made the time and the budget to do that. So if you have an opportunity to go, DO IT! Don't wait, don't be afraid and make sure you plan ahead.

You're asking too much, Christelyn, that this generation Y appreciate what they have. They're not called DIGITAL, DISLOYAL DIVAS for naught. Reading the other threads, it seems they still want solutions handed to them........

Lovely lady and I adore reading about other black (or otherwise foreign) women who've been living/married/working in Europe for many years. We know why we're still here and it isn't for the clean water!.

Nice article thanks for posting it!@Loanire
keep taking your time- nothing is real until you're his woman. Let him chase you since you're going to Italy. Yes by all means met him and remember you wrote this: "He has never implied anything other than friendship in our emails. I, on the other hand, have already decided to have our wedding on the Amalfi Coast." Don't jump into bed with him for months! Don't live in your head over him- you are going to meet a TON of interesting interested men in Italy you will be the PRIZE. Don't get locked down on pipe dreams. Take. Your. Sweet. Time. And, ENJOY.

I love to read positive stories about black women who travel abroad. I graduate this December and I’m currently planning on living in Italy for eight months next year before graduate school starts in the fall. Now is a better time than any to ask some advice from the Rainbeau Love Sensei and her faithful followers. I lived out a dream last year when I joined my university’s study abroad program. I lived in Florence for six weeks. My Italian was in its infancy and I rarely used it except for an embarrassing incident at a newspaper stand where I forgot what I was asking for mid sentence. I met a charming Roman named Bruno who wanted to father some cappuccino colored babies with me. I was romanced by an expat Spaniard who introduced me to the finer points of pda. I suppressed my inner freak and declined an invitation to “see his apartment.” This year, after four semesters of Italian, I’m ready to try again. I will be going back to Italy for a month in July. My problem is that I have an Italian penpal who wants to meet me. We started off exchanging languages which soon turned into discussing politics, our mutual love of all things literature and funny stories revolving around our cultures. On my recommendation, he purchased one of my favorite books. He calls it “our” book when we have debates about it. Tee hee hee! He lives in Milan and is very excited to meet me. He’s single, has a good job, 34, and doesn’t live with any of his relatives (a rare find in Italy from what I’ve heard). I need advice on how to show him that I’m interested without appearing as though I’m going to retract my jaw and eat him whole. He has never implied anything other than friendship in our emails. I, on the other hand, have already decided to have our wedding on the Amalfi Coast. I haven’t been on a date in six years. Yes, that also means what you think it means. I wear my desperation like the pair of ghetto girl fake hoop earrings. It’s prominent, shiny and jingles when I walk. I don’t want to scare him off. I don’t even know if he will be interested. How should I approach this? Some info about me….I’m 33, I’m a veteran, I’ve lived in Okinawa & Iceland. I've been stalking/reading this blog for a while now. Thanks in advance……