Christelyn Karazin – Beyond Black & White http://www.beyondblackwhite.com Chronicles, Musings and Debates about Interracial & Intercultural Relationships Sun, 25 Feb 2018 13:08:30 +0000 en-US hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=4.9.4 23522080 Real Men BUILD. http://www.beyondblackwhite.com/real-men-build/ http://www.beyondblackwhite.com/real-men-build/#respond Sun, 25 Feb 2018 13:08:30 +0000 http://www.beyondblackwhite.com/?p=43916 Yesterday I took some photos of my 12-year-old son creating yet another massive fort. When he saw that we were getting shipments in large boxes, he secured and negotiated for them. He recruited his neighborhood buddies for the project, here’s what they built. They made it “weather proof”… And added halways and a room for […]

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Yesterday I took some photos of my 12-year-old son creating yet another massive fort. When he saw that we were getting shipments in large boxes, he secured and negotiated for them. He recruited his neighborhood buddies for the project, here’s what they built.

They made it “weather proof”…

And added halways and a room for each of them.

I have to admit I’m impressed with this ingenuity and spacial skill, because I can tell you that at his age, I was more focused on my Barbies and baby dolls and Sweet Vally High.

But as a mother of three girls and one oy, I noticed that the inclination to build structures and problem solve was innate in my son in a way that was not in my daughters. So I wasn’t really surprised when I recently discovered a new study from the University of Missouri that reported that countries with greater gender equality have a lower percentage of female STEM graduates.

“The researchers found that, throughtou the world, boys’ academic strengths tend to be in science or mathematics, while girls’ strngths are in reading,” states the news release. “In countries with greater gender equality, women are actively encouraged to participate in STEM; yet, they lose more girls because of personal academic strengths.”

Sigh. Can’t be just get past all the PC nonsense and finally admit that boys are, in general, more inclined to science and engineering, and just let that be OKAY? Now does that mean a man can’t be an amazing interior decorator, or a woman can’t be a research scientist on a team to cure every disease known to man? Absolutely not. But frankly I’m getting tired of the push for complete gender neutrality which forces boys and girls to feel like that just can’t be themselves. Boys and men are suffering with this all the more, because stating the facts like this study has is grounds to be called a woman-hating demon.

Men being better at math, science and engineering doesn’t mean they’re superior. Women being better at the “softer sciences” doesn’t make the inferior. Both talents are ESSENTIAL. Equal doesn’t mean SAME.

As a mother, I will happily tolerate this mess in my backyard, because I know my son is happy that his inclination towards structural engineered is being encouraged by his mommy.

Can’t we just let boys be boys and girls be girls?

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Where are they MEETING All these MEN?! http://www.beyondblackwhite.com/where-are-they-meeting-all-these-men/ http://www.beyondblackwhite.com/where-are-they-meeting-all-these-men/#respond Sun, 25 Feb 2018 12:36:57 +0000 http://www.beyondblackwhite.com/?p=43913 It’s been a while since I done some instruction and commentary on how to connect with high-quality men here, so I figured it’s time. While many black women have been groomed to get their education (because it’s like getting the next best thing to a husband) while keeping both feet firmly entrenched with all thing […]

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It’s been a while since I done some instruction and commentary on how to connect with high-quality men here, so I figured it’s time. While many black women have been groomed to get their education (because it’s like getting the next best thing to a husband) while keeping both feet firmly entrenched with all thing black-community focused. So many of us will have our degrees and be gainfully employed with a 401k, but have absolutely no clue on where to go, how to dress, and how to act with the top-tier men of their heart’s desire.

I spend a great deal of time giving practical tips on all of this in The Pink Pill, but I decided to give one free lesson on a video I did last Friday.

More on this…
Have you ever wondered how women connect with millionaires and billionaires? Where are these men, anyway?! Millionaire matchmaker, Patti Stanger has long recommended attending charity galas. This is one of the only settings where the rich have license to flaunt their wealth without fear of appearing uncivilized, because all that green they’re flashing is for a good cause. Believe it or not, wealth people actively work to get on the charity ball circuit. It is, indeed, a thing.
Okay, that’s great news, right? But now that you know, what do you do? Which charity and fundraising events should you attend? How much does it cost? How should I behave? How do I keep from falling on my face and embarrassing myself and everyone around me?!
I recently interviewed a Senior Account Executive at a New York City fundraising and event planning company, and boy does she dish the details! We’re adding a three-part series on how to penetrate the charity circuit orbited by the very rich and famous. She give the details on the eitquette, charity culture, behaviors wealthy men look for in the women who attend, and the mindset to have to you can own your space in this world with confidence. Get more details here.

Follow Christelyn on Instagram and Twitter, and subscribe to our YouTube channel. And if you want to be a little more about this online dating thing, InterracialDatingCentral is the official dating site for this blog

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Prince Harry & Meghan Markle Get Anthrax Scare http://www.beyondblackwhite.com/prince-harry-meghan-markle-get-anthrax-scare/ http://www.beyondblackwhite.com/prince-harry-meghan-markle-get-anthrax-scare/#respond Thu, 22 Feb 2018 14:50:13 +0000 http://www.beyondblackwhite.com/?p=43909 And…so it continues. The London Evening Standard is reporting that Prince Harry and Meghan Markle were sent a suspicious letter containing white powder. Additional reporting… There are no plans to change any of the details of the wedding, which is being paid for by the royal family. The anthrax scare is the first security alert […]

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And…so it continues. The London Evening Standard is reporting that Prince Harry and Meghan Markle were sent a suspicious letter containing white powder.

Additional reporting…

There are no plans to change any of the details of the wedding, which is being paid for by the royal family.

The anthrax scare is the first security alert surrounding Harry’s fiancée, who will become an official member of the royal family after the wedding but already has 24-hour protection.

She has been assigned a team from the Met’s royalty and specialist protection command

Wow. Just…wow.

Follow Christelyn on Instagram and Twitter, and subscribe to our YouTube channel. And if you want to be a little more about this online dating thing, InterracialDatingCentral is the official dating site for this blog

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Black Women Getting With Losers So They Feel More Secure? http://www.beyondblackwhite.com/black-women-getting-losers-feel-secure/ http://www.beyondblackwhite.com/black-women-getting-losers-feel-secure/#respond Thu, 22 Feb 2018 14:36:26 +0000 http://www.beyondblackwhite.com/?p=43905 I briefly broke my committment to the 30-Day Mental Detox as part of the group exercise we’re doing in the best-selling Pink Pill course to watch the apology of a reality show, Love After Lockup, a show that follows couples who met while one was in prison. The show doesn’t just focus on black community […]

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I briefly broke my committment to the 30-Day Mental Detox as part of the group exercise we’re doing in the best-selling Pink Pill course to watch the apology of a reality show, Love After Lockup, a show that follows couples who met while one was in prison. The show doesn’t just focus on black community dysfunction, in which this practice is commonplace, so…there’s that. But because I am a black woman and can best identify with other black women, I’m going to laser my focus on Andrea, a single mother of three about to push her kids on a man they have never met, and force them to call him “papa.”

Here’s the info:

ANDREA & LAMAR, Lehi, UT

Coming from very different backgrounds; Andrea is a Mormon and single mother of 3 kids, while Lamar is a former up-and-coming rapper who is finishing up an 18 year stint in the big house. Andrea has not shared Lamar’s past with her Mormon community for fear of being scrutinized. Will she be able to introduce Lamar into her strict religious community, while Lamar attempts to pick up his rap career where he left off 18 years ago?

Andrea is an easy mark for Lamar. She’s overweight and desperate for a father figure for her son and two daughters. She’s Morman, and ultra religious. She’s begging God to “give her a sign” that Lamar is her soulmate, and she’s working hard to make the square fit into the circle.

As a Morman, she has a specific set of rules she needs to follow to stay in good standing. That means that Lamar cannot smoke, drink alcohol or even coffee, or do drugs of any kind. Mormans also believe in no sex before marriage, which probably means she will rush the courtship outside of prison to hasten the wedding despite clear reservations from her children, who are not warming to Lamar that way she wants them to.

“I’m a Mormon girl that’s bringing a criminal around my kids…because of love,” she says. “This is the craziest thing I’ve ever done in my life.”

Watching Episode 2, there’s more red flags than a Nascar race. Still she presses on, because Andrea NEEDS this to work. And so she will buy him a car, move her children from Utah to California and force them to call him dad, and expose her teenage daughter to potential sexual abuse by a man who might like the thinner, younger version of the woman who is putting him up. The rates of sexual abuse in these situaitons are unbelievably high in the black community, and often covered up or denied by the women who wish to protect these animals.

But we have to address the psychological issues related to why women like this pick men like Lamar. I have a dear friend who married a felon who served six years for armed robbery. They are still married, but there have been many years of unhappiness. Cheating, STI’s, clash of class and culture, and spotty employment on his part. My friend has been so stressed by this that she gained a ton of weight, has been under constant stress, begging God for relief.

When I asked her why she picked the man that she did, despite better men of all races who wanted to court her, she basically told me that she felt like she needed to pick a man who would feel “lucky” to be with her so he wouldn’t leave.

This race to the bottom to chase relationships with men beneath them constantly has black women losing. This is coming from generations of conditioning from the black community to work to redeem the black man, at any cost.

I for one, think that cost is outside of our price range.

What say all of you?

Follow Christelyn on Instagram and Twitter, and subscribe to our YouTube channel. And if you want to be a little more about this online dating thing, InterracialDatingCentral is the official dating site for this blog

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Pink Pill Exclusive! Author of “Black Girls Guide to Being Blissfully Feminine” http://www.beyondblackwhite.com/pink-pill-exclusive-author-black-girls-guide-blissfully-feminine/ http://www.beyondblackwhite.com/pink-pill-exclusive-author-black-girls-guide-blissfully-feminine/#respond Wed, 21 Feb 2018 19:13:15 +0000 http://www.beyondblackwhite.com/?p=43902 Hours Left to Get Secret Insight on Being “A Black Girl’s Guide to Being Blissfully Feminine!” Hi ladies, happy Wedenesday! Just a quick reminder that Candice Smith Adewole, author of The Black Girl’s Guide to Being Blissfully Feminine. If you haven’t read the book yet, you need to! It’s so good! Tune in Thursday, February 22, […]

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Hours Left to Get Secret Insight on Being “A Black Girl’s Guide to Being Blissfully Feminine!”
Hi ladies, happy Wedenesday! Just a quick reminder that Candice Smith Adewole, author of The Black Girl’s Guide to Being Blissfully Feminine. If you haven’t read the book yet, you need to! It’s so good! Tune in Thursday, February 22, 6PM PST.
Candice will give us the INSIDE scoop on her lessons on the male psyschology and how black women can use their femininity to weild our innate power.
This intimate, frank advice will be ONLY available to enrollees of The Pink Pill. Those who are in our Pink Pill secret Facebook discussion group will have LIVE access to Candice, but those who are enrolled in the course will have access to the replay.
Candice also has a little bombshell she’ll be dropping that includes travel, Italian men, and a matchmaker! More details on that during the upcoming interview!
If you have not yet joined The Pink Pill revolution, now is the time! And this is just the beginning. More experts. More modules. More information to give you the tools to live well to the EXTREME.
Take a look at all the RAVING reviews. More are added EVERY DAY.

Follow Christelyn on Instagram and Twitter, and subscribe to our YouTube channel. And if you want to be a little more about this online dating thing, InterracialDatingCentral is the official dating site for this blog

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When You Don’t Fit Into the “Black Girl Archetype…” http://www.beyondblackwhite.com/dont-fit-black-girl-archetype/ http://www.beyondblackwhite.com/dont-fit-black-girl-archetype/#respond Wed, 21 Feb 2018 04:44:05 +0000 http://www.beyondblackwhite.com/?p=43899 We’re having some seriously amazing discussions in our Pink Pill secret Facebook group. And while we’re sworn to silence by pain of a lawsuit, one woman did share something in the group that she agreed to allow me to pass along. Conversations like these need to happen, and black women who think differently need to […]

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We’re having some seriously amazing discussions in our Pink Pill secret Facebook group. And while we’re sworn to silence by pain of a lawsuit, one woman did share something in the group that she agreed to allow me to pass along. Conversations like these need to happen, and black women who think differently need to know they’re not alone.

From “R”

I have now been married for 9 yrs to my European love. Liking white boys and bands like Duran Duran since I was a kid, my black card was revoked a long time ago. I was NOT considered the most attractive girl in my family either. In fact, I was considered goofy, corny, and whitewashed. I didn’t wear the weaves, nails, ho outfits, and other blakistan stuff. In short, I was considered undesirable by black men and most black women didn’t want to know me. But… here I am now, the only one in my family’s generation of women who is married to a loving, high net worth man, with a nice big home, a beautiful child and very comfortable financially.

I often reflect on this. Though I’ve felt largely rejected by my own people over the years, I never fell for the notion that l wasn’t good enough for good men or good things in my life. I wouldn’t say I have all the “class” in the world (that’s why I’m here, Lol!), but I do like to travel, learn about other cultures, and don’t consider bettering myself a betrayal of my blackness.

A younger cousin admitted that I seem to have gotten it right by not falling for the bullshit and staying true to myself. I opened up to her recently about not always feeling very pretty among other women who constantly kept their hair slayed, waists tight, nails polished and stilettos rockin. She replied that I didn’t need to change a thing about me because men didn’t marry women like that anyway. That blew my mind! However, she was mainly talking about herself. Her baby’s dad proposed in the past, but now won’t marry her. These are for reasons unknown or just between them. But unfortunately I notice that as gorgeous as she is, she dresses kinda “ho”-ish, smokes a lot of weed, does the club thing even in her thirties, and keeps messing around with her baby daddy even tho he’ll never marry her. I guess after she had his child he figured, “Why invest now?”

Though me and all my close cousins have children, I am the only one who is married to the father and part of a stable family. That is shocking to me! They would all benefit from having a dad in the picture. Sometimes they post on FB about the usual “no good men” struggle and I just feel gratitude for what I have. Nowadays they all look upon me with either respect or low key hate, and sometimes a bit of both. I’ve been accused in the past of “showing off” my white husband and biracial child at family gatherings, and being braggadocios with travel pics on social media. I notice these are same ones who don’t like my posts, but are definitely looking to see what I’m doing next. 👀

I’ve put the feeling of shame for not fitting into the black girl archetype behind me. For all the slack I got growing up, my life turned out just fine. In fact, it feels like I somehow came out on top. Many black girls and women need to get their act together, pull and keep men of substance, and look upon themselves in a whole new light. We can begin by treating ourselves a lot better than the BC on a whole treats us. Why is every opportunity to express being different and explore things outside the black community seen as selling out? The Pink Pill course is necessary for all of us. It’s a charm school of sorts and I’m happy to be a part of it and possibly meet other women like me. I already have my man, but I’m here and ready to learn. If any of you have questions of what it’s like to already be married outside of your race, just go ahead and ask. I won’t hide anything from this group in particular. Honestly we’re all after something better, with more opportunities in love and in life.

If you’d like to learn more about the best-selling Pink Pill course and be considered for admittance in our secret group, click here.

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