Beyond Black & White » Christelyn Karazin http://www.beyondblackwhite.com Chronicles, Musings and Debates about Interracial & Intercultural Relationships Tue, 21 Oct 2014 05:02:13 +0000 en-US hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=4.0 Your Favorite Stars without Make Up…Don’t Be Afraid to Enhance Your Features! http://www.beyondblackwhite.com/favorite-stars-without-make-dont-afraid-enhance-features/ http://www.beyondblackwhite.com/favorite-stars-without-make-dont-afraid-enhance-features/#respond Tue, 21 Oct 2014 04:53:39 +0000 http://www.beyondblackwhite.com/?p=34079 As part of our new “Become Your Best You” series (this will be a full-blown, year-long challenge starting in 2015) I thought it was important to circle back to the whole, makeup vs. no makeup thing. I wasn’t one of them, but I’ve heard how some black women (especially those of a darker hue) have […]

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As part of our new “Become Your Best You” series (this will be a full-blown, year-long challenge starting in 2015) I thought it was important to circle back to the whole, makeup vs. no makeup thing. I wasn’t one of them, but I’ve heard how some black women (especially those of a darker hue) have been discouraged from wearing makeup. (e.g. dark girl shouldn’t wear red lipstick nonsense)

Make up isn’t about looking like a whole different person to the horror and dismay of guy who sees your wake-up face. It’s about enhancing the features you already have.

Me with and without makeup?

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I have a decent set of eyes and lips, so my goal with makeup is to really play them up. But not at the same time! If I’m wearing a bold lip color, I go light on the eyes. If I’m wearing eye makeup, I go with a paler lip.

Take a look at how your favorite starts use makeup to enhance their features…

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The beautiful Kerry Washington has acne scars and hyper pigmentation. She has dark circles as well. She uses makeup to cover those marks, which serve to be a distraction away from her prettiness, and plays up those lovely cheekbones.

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Michelle Obama’s eyebrows have been over plucked, and her eyes are less prominent than her lower face. Some brow filler and tasteful eye makeup brings her eyes out more to give her a more symmetrical look.

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Rhianna is a cutie…no doubt. But without some color on her face, she appears to look pale and washed out. Red lips on her makes her whole face pop.

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Zoe looks good, with or without makeup! But she gives her gorgeously shaped lips some POP with red.

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Lawd…Tyra has an eight-head just like me. She minimizes it with bangs (very good idea). Without her makeup, she looks pale with dark circles under her eyes. In the makeup photo, she’s concentrating most of the color to draw attention to her cheeks.

I’m a big fan of mineral makeup these days, and I actively recommend you NOT use products like MAC for every day use. Those cosmetics are for the runway and television. If you ask the people who work there, they’ll tell you as much. The foundations and powders are entirely too heavy for use everyday. It’s rare to see a worker at the MAC counter without a face that looks like a cheese-covered pepperoni pizza. There’s a reason for that, ladies. As for the shadows and lip sticks, I’m neutral.

Try to find a makeup that won’t work AGAINST your efforts to keep your skin clear of blemishes. It’s for that reason, I recommend mineral-based cosmetics as a primary choice. They’ve come a long way since the induction of Bare Minerals.

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Despite “Scandal” and HTGAWM, We’re Still Fighting Against the “Mammy” Trope http://www.beyondblackwhite.com/despite-scandal-htgawm-still-fighting-mammy-trope/ http://www.beyondblackwhite.com/despite-scandal-htgawm-still-fighting-mammy-trope/#respond Tue, 21 Oct 2014 03:33:42 +0000 http://www.beyondblackwhite.com/?p=34074 It’s 11 days until Halloween, so invariably there’s a few horror flicks playing at the theaters. Maxi Me knows I love horrors, so she suggested she and I go see “Annabelle,” a story about an ugly-ass doll possessed by a crazy woman.   At first I just thought this was going to one of those […]

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It’s 11 days until Halloween, so invariably there’s a few horror flicks playing at the theaters. Maxi Me knows I love horrors, so she suggested she and I go see “Annabelle,” a story about an ugly-ass doll possessed by a crazy woman.

 

At first I just thought this was going to one of those ridiculous “Chucky” like movies, but was pleasantly surprised that it had a decent story and some really scream-able moments.

SPOILER ALERT!!!

The issue I have with this story is that the benevolent savior of the couples’ baby, who’s soul is in danger of the devil’s taking, is a self-sacrificing “martyr-mammy,” Evelyn, who lost her own daughter in a car accident and committed a failed suicide. During her suicide attempt, the woman says that the daughter told her, “It’s not your time to go. You still have a purpose,” or something to that effect.

“Evelyn” comes to the Barbie and Ken lookalike couples’ rescue by taking the mother’s place in sacrificing her life to bring back the baby.

 

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On Vetting: How Men Run Game By Telling the Truth! http://www.beyondblackwhite.com/vetting-men-run-game-telling-truth/ http://www.beyondblackwhite.com/vetting-men-run-game-telling-truth/#comments Mon, 20 Oct 2014 05:07:26 +0000 http://www.beyondblackwhite.com/?p=34041 So why do they do this? Basically to have guilt-free sex, says my buddy, Jordan Harbinger, co-founder of The Art of Charm. “Men make up their minds pretty quickly about what kind of relationship he wants in a girl. Guys do it subconsciously. We say, this girl is kind of hot and kinda slutty, but […]

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So why do they do this? Basically to have guilt-free sex, says my buddy, Jordan Harbinger, co-founder of The Art of Charm. “Men make up their minds pretty quickly about what kind of relationship he wants in a girl. Guys do it subconsciously. We say, this girl is kind of hot and kinda slutty, but I’m not thinking that she’s the kind of girl I ultimately deserve.”

 

Common phrases “truth-telling-gamers” use…

I’m not looking for a relationship, but if I were, she’s be someone like you. (Special emphasis on “like”)

You’re so sweet. I’m such a jerk about not being ready for all this love!

Why are you wasting your time being so amazing to me, when you could be out there getting any guy you want?

No matter how sweetly he says it, it all translates to one thing: HE’S NOT INTO YOU.

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We Broke $5,000 in just THREE Days! Get Your “Troll Tears” Sippy Cup Today! http://www.beyondblackwhite.com/broke-5000-just-three-days-get-troll-tears-sippy-cup-today/ http://www.beyondblackwhite.com/broke-5000-just-three-days-get-troll-tears-sippy-cup-today/#comments Fri, 17 Oct 2014 22:00:53 +0000 http://www.beyondblackwhite.com/?p=34031 The fundraiser for a dedicated forum and social networking site COMPLETELY dedicated to the romantic, spiritual, financial and physical empowerment of black women and the men who love them has been beyond successful. I asked for $1,000. You gave me that in less than an hour, and you KEPT on giving. As of this post, […]

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The fundraiser for a dedicated forum and social networking site COMPLETELY dedicated to the romantic, spiritual, financial and physical empowerment of black women and the men who love them has been beyond successful.

I asked for $1,000.

You gave me that in less than an hour, and you KEPT on giving. As of this post, we’ve raised $5,118.00! Earlier today, when we were just $72 under the 5k mark, BB&W fan, Marilyn Dowdy, came up with a brilliant idea. Here’s what she said:

“Do you have and will you be offering BBW merchandise to paid members or for your fundraiser? I think a lot of your fans would really love to have one of those portable wine cups or key chain.”

Of course! The TROLL TEARS SIPPY CUP….YAAAEEEESSSS!!!!

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The fact that our community raised that much money in under 72 hours (!!!) was a clear statement about censorship, the continued invasion and terrorism of black women’s spaces, and the desire to grow Beyond Black & White, the ONLY community on the internet of it’s kind.

So for today only, if you give $25 or more to our fund, I will send you your very own Troll Tears Sippy cup, so you and I can raise a toast to what turned out to be the BEST thing that ever could have happened. Make no mistake, the events over the last couple of days is the talk on all the black message boards. I checked. ;-)

Donate for your Troll Tears Sippy Cup HERE

And because BB&W is about the New, NEW Black Woman, who builds a sisterhood based on like minds, Marilyn is promising to donate 50% of the purchase of her e-book, “The Secrets to Growing Curly/Coily Hair Long. Just put “BBW Fund” in the sellers info box at check out or copy & paste their receipt along with adding “BBW Fund” to their msg then send it thru the contact page on the site. 

This is the eBook page http://mdestore.weebly.com/the-secrets-to-growing-coily-curly-hair-long-ebook.html

But don’t think I’m taking all the extra money for donations to start booking road trips, staying in hotel suites and buying box seats at sports events (those of you who know who I’m talking about will get that reference). We’re going to build the BEST dinged darned forum possible, with full social networking functionality. A place where we can SAFELY have our discussions without fear of being shut down, plan local meet-up events that are city and state specific, and even create a section where singles can mix and mingle. In short, your money will create the virtual world of Beyond Black & White, your haven and your home, that YOU helped build, nurture and support.

And because I know I’m going to be accountable for every penny, we will have 100% transparency of how and in what manner we spend these funds, that you’ll have access to review and provide your input. Micro funding has been a blessing to small-fry bloggers like myself, and I want to set a HIGH standard of how we oversee the donations so as not to spoil or contribute to cynicism for the next black woman who comes along and has a dream. All participants of micro funding MUST maintain their integrity, because the future success of these programs hang in the balance.

Because you made it so definitively clear that you desire BB&W to grow and thrive, while sending us a mandate, I’m taking our story to the press!

And because it’s just poetic justice with a big ‘ole pink bow, we going to have a SPECIAL Google+ Hangouts Victory party, exactly ONE WEEK after the trolls ran a victory lap about tearing our 37,000-strong original fan page down. I’m going to invite participants of our private G+ group to join the party, and we’ll have a quick brain storm for ideas on how we can branch out our brand. Meet me at my You Tube channel at 7PM PST to watch it live.

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Young Girl Needs Our Guidance: 15 Year-Old-Girl, Only Interested in Men 26-50. http://www.beyondblackwhite.com/young-girl-needs-guidance-15-year-old-girl-interested-men-26-50/ http://www.beyondblackwhite.com/young-girl-needs-guidance-15-year-old-girl-interested-men-26-50/#comments Thu, 16 Oct 2014 21:13:51 +0000 http://www.beyondblackwhite.com/?p=34020 Got this note from a girl last night… Hi Christelyn, My name is “Sammy” (not her real name). I recently subscribed to your channel. Im a 15 yr old black female. I do consider myself very bright and outgoing. I take challenging ap and dual enrollment classes. I mostly take interest older white men.(typically 26-50) […]

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Got this note from a girl last night…

Hi Christelyn, My name is “Sammy” (not her real name). I recently subscribed to your channel. Im a 15 yr old black female. I do consider myself very bright and outgoing. I take challenging ap and dual enrollment classes. I mostly take interest older white men.(typically 26-50) Yes MEN. Not that I dont like boys my age, I just have a strong attraction towards older men. Instead of gazing at the boys, im drooling over the teachers. I do have a father in my life, although growing up, Its been more than clear that my mother has done most of the work in our lives. Buying clothes, paying bills, and food. We never really had a typical father daughter relationship depicted in tv land. Our relationship is just there. I do seem to like boys my age but they dont seem interested it black girls, they seem to just make a mockery of us and our culture. (Using culture in the context of a way of living.) So just seeing all of that, Ive become numb to dating or liking guys my age and have sticked to lusting over older men. Is there something wrong with this? Please get back to me.

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This letter is disturbing to me on several levels, Sammy. I have a daughter who is almost 17 years-old, and while she is mature and poised for her age, I would never accept her seeing a grown man in his twenties, let alone his fifties! He’d be under the jail if he was still drawing breath. Listen honey, I know you probably think you’re an “old soul” and seem to be more attracted and can relate to older men, but that’s a false reality in which I’ll explain in a moment.

At 15, you’ve just begun your path to adulthood. You’re still in puberty and your brain is not fully developed. You are not yet a fully actualized person that knows the world or has experienced many events that a man of 26+ has already done. What is more, any quality man from 26-50 will never touch you. It could mean jail time, a wrap sheet as a sex offender, and a loss of livelihood. I would go so far to say that any older man interested in you with full knowledge of your age will be a danger to you.

Now is the time for me to shrink your head. You mention that your father is around, but is very disconnected from you–almost as if he’s not there at all. I suspect your desire for older men is your mind’s way of reconciling and healing your hurt over your father not being fully plugged into your life.

Now when you’re of age (over 18) you can legally date any man in the age range you prefer, but even then, chances are the a man who seeks out a girl a decade or more younger than her in the crucial early years of adulthood may have problems relating to women his own age, because of some deficit in his character or maturity level.

You also need to get some healing. Your heart is hungry of the warm and love of a father, and many girls in your situation are willing to swap a sexual relationship with a man to achieve that end, even for a fleeting moment. It’s very important that you talk to someone in your circle you can trust. Doesn’t have to be your mom, but perhaps a trusted adult, like a teacher, aunt, or family friend. Whatever you do, don’t keep this to yourself. But I don’t want you to be in the position for being attacked for your feelings. You are completely innocent, and just trying to figure this life thing out.

Be well, and know this community is concerned about you.

Sincerely,

Chris

—–

Okay, so I’m opening up the gates to the wise men and women of BB&W. Any advice for this young girl?

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Just for Fun…What Makes a “Creature Like No Other?” http://www.beyondblackwhite.com/just-fun-makes-creature-like/ http://www.beyondblackwhite.com/just-fun-makes-creature-like/#comments Thu, 16 Oct 2014 06:42:03 +0000 http://www.beyondblackwhite.com/?p=34011 Black women have the most unique physical makeup of all women, everywhere. Our beauty is an asset! It’s important that each one of you know the tools, tips and tricks to maximize your unique beauty. For me, it’s wearing my hair natural. When straightened, my hair is flat and lifeless, and the look did little […]

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Black women have the most unique physical makeup of all women, everywhere. Our beauty is an asset! It’s important that each one of you know the tools, tips and tricks to maximize your unique beauty. For me, it’s wearing my hair natural. When straightened, my hair is flat and lifeless, and the look did little to differentiate me from the rest of the herd.

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Here’s my advice:

Hair: Get a style that fits your face. This post might be helpful for some of you who wear straight or relaxed hair.

Skin: Exfoliate, exfoliate, exfoliate! It’s the secret to why I look decades younger than my actual age.

Diet: Get off processed foods…all of them. Watch your sugar intake and learn to embrace the green smoothie.

Body: A least three hours of exercise per week. Not just cardio, but weight-bearing practices like yoga, pilates and the barre method.

Makeup: If you’re dark like me, don’t be afraid of color! Heck, if I can pull of green and gold eyeshadow, so can you!

 

So dish! Let’s share with one another ways to maximize our natural and unique beauty!

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