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How to date, mate and relate. Mixing race, culture and creed.
Author Archive
Why Do Some Black Women Consider Marriage “The Enemy”? Part I
Ever wonder why these women get so mad? It’s because the topic of black women in loving relationships where they are married and thriving is like a dog and a dog whistle: You don’t hear what’s so bad or painful, but they do. Oh do they ever. And they will let you know.
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All’s Fair In Love And War: Swirl Edition, Interracial Dating Saboteurs
Have you experienced or observed black women trying to sabotage other women considering interracial dating?
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Have A Seat, Bigots: No Self-Respecting Swirl-Minded Person Is Checking For You!
To said bigots, I present this empty stadium. It may take you awhile to work your way around. You might have to miss a couple of days of work. There may be an awkward pause as you remove your head from between your butt cheeks. However, I insist that you to take the time necessary to place your rear in all the available spaces where a person could possibly have a seat. At least so that you can spend your time elsewhere and not breathing your garlic-and-sweat-soaked-sock-smelling hot breath in the conversational spaces of people with better things to do than hear your ignorant and ugly opinions.
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How Do Black Women Respond When Someone “Pulls Rank”?
This post is a bit tricky because it deals with the issue of intersectionality. I strongly suggest people read up on the term and who is impacted. I say this because intersectionality is something that smacks black women upside the head from many angles depending on who they are, and how many different levels of privilege work for or against them.
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Why We Don’t Talk About Black Men: A Response Post Of Sorts…
I think in order to better understand why black men as a topic come up in BW-centric and BWE spaces, you must understand why they do not come up.
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All The People Crying About Letters And Conspiracy Theories: Go Get Your Life!
Being aware of the tricks and attempts at manipulation sent your way is certainly a must, but this doesn’t require you get angry or fearful. Simply side-step these persons and keep walking. How emotionally invested you become in the efforts of black trolls is often an indicator of how far removed you actually are from these constructs. If they have the ability to tap into a high level of your emotion, you are NOT free. It’s as simple as that.
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To Whom It May Concern: Black Skin Is “International”.
Ms. Abdullah is a single mother from the Bronx who prior to her shot at modeling stardom was working three jobs to care for her family. She is a very lovely young African American woman.
However, her comment was simply unacceptable and if she has a brain in her head, she will apologize for it. And I don’t mean because a cellphone might go flying at her head from some random direction at any minute.
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The Five Stages of Black Woman Grief, Part 1
I have observed behaviors in black women, self included, that made me think of the Kübler-Ross model or “Five Stages of Grief”. Many black women have been forced to confront the utter hatred and contempt that black people have for black women. When they see this hatred and the related dysfunction called out, they will respond differently based on whatever “stage” they go to when faced with such an unpleasant situation.
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Recognizing the Necessity and Importance of Dark-Skinned Feminine Beauty Part II
I was not prepared for the response to the first part of this post. I was not prepared to think of myself according to my skin shade rather than as simply a human being. I was not prepared for guilt for having written the article despite not being dark-skinned myself. But most of all, I was not prepared for the push back from non-dark skinned women.
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Episode VI: Return of the Memo for the Ongoing Battle With the GAT-DL
Emperor Kneegrowplease has attempted to execute Order What-The-Cuss, a mental override code intended to stop the flow of persons joining the Rebellion. The hope is this code will effectively shut down black women moving away from black group think that works against them, and at the same time promote the lie that THE MAN (TM) wants to break up black households and send black women off to be with white men and black men off to be with white women. Thus destroying black love forever.
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Damaged vs. Damaged Beyond Repair vs. Work-in-Progress: What’s the Difference?
Question: What are some other ways to differentiate between someone who is “damaged beyond repair” and a “work in progress”?
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Monogamy Isn’t A Condom: What You Don’t Know Can Hurt You!
It isn’t enough to pretend that your being with one guy is enough to save your life and your womb. Because it’s not. Get tested often, and always use protection. Monogamy isn’t a condom.
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Macho Little Black Girls Part II: Machoism Kills….No Exceptions.
“I do strongly suspect that this behavior is a sadistic attempt to encourage black women into a mentality and lifestyle that “protects them” from being feminine little girls. Because there are too many predators in the black community who don’t see a sweet little girl. Instead, they see a wet hole just asking for it because she’s a ho anyway.”
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You Can Date A White Guy….Just Remember To Stroke The Collective Black Ego!
Ladies, you can live your life, live it well, and not feel there’s anything wrong with it. You deserve happiness if you seek happiness. You don’t have to prove yourself worthy of happiness. You don’t have to earn a “black woman mammy merit badge” to be happy. You don’t have to justify a desire to be taken care of nor a disgust at disgusting behaviors – your own relationship happiness does not need to meet any trifling fool’s prerequisites.
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Why I don’t call myself a “feminist” (and probably never will…)
“I want no part of any group, system or structure that sells the lie of being equal partners in striving to overcome inequality and oppression while that supposed ally is also standing on my neck.”
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The “White Guy Pass”: Does It Exist?
Do YOU think “white guy passes” exist? Do you give them out? Have you had WM expecting a “pass” from you?
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Don’t Be Duped By Damaged Males: Not All Men Are Scumbags!
Even if I were to believe that all men were sexual-harassing creeps at heart, why would I accept this as a reality that is not worth changing? Clearly something needs to give somewhere.
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“Authentic Blackness” and More GAT-DL Co-opting….
Redskins quarterback Robert Griffin III has said that he basically wants to be known as a quarterback and not be defined as an African American quarterback first and foremost. I took it to mean he wanted to be known for his individual achievements and not have “BLACK” slapped in front of everything he did. He wants to, I assume, be judged by who he was first rather than as a representative of an entire ethnic group.
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Beauty and Infidelity: How Do Looks Matter or Do They?
When it comes to a woman being wronged or hurt, do looks matter? Do you think the attractiveness of a woman can determine how and why people do (or don’t) come out in support of her?
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Definitely not your mama’s relationship book…
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