“She was probably fast anyway.”
Blackistan’s justification of the abuse, rape and sexual harassment of young girls and women.
“All my life I had to fight. I had to fight my daddy. I had to fight my brothers. I had to fight my cousins and my uncles. A girl child ain’t safe in a family of men”. – Sofia, The Color Purple
“She was probably fast anyway.” – A blackistani woman’s response to an 11 year old girl being gang raped by 17 men.
Recently a colleague posed the question on her blog asking if young girls are to blame for being touched inappropriately. The conversation she had with a co-worker served as the inspiration. They were discussing swimming and her co-worker mentioned how young boys would try to pull down the girls bathing suits in the pool which caused her to shy away from swimming. Overhearing the conversation, a third co-worker asked why she did not tell someone and she responded that her grandmother would have “beaten her butt” for somehow causing those boys to act that way.
As I read this, I was reminded how mothers, aunts, grandmothers, etc. when I was that age would react to young girls who experienced similar situations. The boys were never hauled into the presence of parents, teachers, or other adult relatives and straightened out. The girls were hit upside the head or across the backside and repeatedly reprimanded for “acting fast” or having a “hot tail”. This often left the girls confused and bewildered and afraid to share any future harassment with anyone. I am fortunate that my mother never subjected me to that, but when I was in school and boys would try to grab my rear end, between my legs, or my breasts. Upon complaining to a teacher or adult, the boys would absolve themselves of any wrong doing by saying “I was just playing” and upon seeing no bruises or bloodshed, the teachers would write it off as “boys will be boys”.
Like Sofia it seems that black girls have to come out the womb fighting, which may explain why many have an angry, combative, defensive attitude by the time they are 18 years old (but that is for another discussion) and frankly I can understand why. Starting as early as the age of 7 or 8 they are prime candidates for sexual harassment, you heard me, SEXUAL HARASSMENT. Entitled young black boys grabbing their backsides, between their legs, speaking sexual things, adult men coming on to them and worse! God forbid should some of these girls resist what is being done to them, then they are in danger of being beaten up for refusing the advances being leveled at them.
Icon Oprah Winfrey was raped by her 19 year old cousin at the age of nine and later abused by a neighbor and an uncle. Renowned author Maya Angelou was raped at seven by her mother’s husband and spent the next five years as a mute. In the midst of having to fight off everyone laying claim to her young body, here comes the females of blackistan who tell her she is at fault for what is happening to her. She is whooped , cussed out and blamed for the black males around her who exercise no self-control. If she is develops faster than the other girls around her, she becomes a prime target for harassment and blame.
“……thinking back on my experiences as a child, developing before a lot of other girls my age, getting asked questions like “can I thump your titty and see if it gets hard?” by boys when I was in 5th grade, not quite knowing what was appropriate and what was not because it wasn’t really seen as an issue……” N.J.
“Not seen as an issue”, and therein lies part of the problem and why so many young black girls continue to be subjected to such horrible behavior by boys and adult men. Because what is happening to them is not taken seriously, it still goes on today. I wonder how many adult women continue to suffer in silence trying to deal with their pain in self destructive ways because of what happened to them as young girls? I know one woman who who battled a drug problem for years trying to forget the 4 brutal rapes she endured as a young woman. I read about a rape counselor who deliberately put on 100 pounds after being sexually assaulted so that men would not bother her. Some women take on a more masculine persona and toughen up to deal with the violation of their womanhood. These coping mechanisms never bring the healing that these young girls and women need, it is like putting a band-aid on cancer.
The thing I find most disturbing when it comes to the sexual harassment and abuse of young girls are the adults who accuse these children of being “temptresses”. They hold children accountable for adult behavior. Really? Even if an 8 year old child parades around in front of a grown man in her underwear, any adult male should have the common sense to recognize this is a CHILD and treat her accordingly! But people who do not want to deal with the truth find it easier to blame the one who cannot adequately defend themselves.
“…if a girl were to say a boy/man did something to her, she would be blamed for being fast, especially if she was pretty. I made a comment about 5 years ago at a family get together about an old family being a pervert and everyone looked at me like I was an alien. so I decided to let it all out and brought up comments that he’d made about several of the girls in the family. My cousins (4 female) all agreed that he’d said these things, but you couldn’t beat the older women and men in denying that they allowed their children to be exposed to and preyed upon by a pervert. Several men stormed off in a huff and the women were saying that we were lying. This all happened in my early teens and this man would have been about 50-ish at the time. Needless to say, i did find out that day that he’d actually tried to molest one of the younger cousin’s. Since she is a junkie now, her word was garbage to them. I believe though that even if she was the most upstanding person there was, they still would not have believed her.” L.F.N
One of my sisters was raped at knifepoint at 7 years old. Did not tell till much later, our Mom (now dead), *might* have blamed her, girls usually got blamed for being raped “she’s fast” or “she’s got a hot tail” etc. She is now dead much too young, angry most of her life, made poor choices. My favorite sister, too. Died five years ago she never go over it. So when I see very angry BW, loud, spazzing,etc. I do have empathy as I imagine they have been touched…She was an older sister. Back in the day kids used to be able to play kickball in the ally behind their house. An older man watched and dragged her to a basement at knifepoint and said he would kill us all if she told. Blackistan. Not long afterward we moved to a mixed neighborhood. -B.B.
“BB’s” family may have moved to a better neighborhood while they were still kids but the damage had been done her older sister died not knowing her worth.
I find it repulsive that some of the biggest “agents” that ensure this “Matrix” of destruction against black women and girls continues are Blackistani women. With all the screaming and yelling they do about how black women are treated yet they are the biggest enablers hiding behind religion on the front pew of the church and sistah solidering to protect the predators and throw black women and girls under the bus.
When one of my child rapists was shot and killed by DC police officers in a shootout, I rejoiced vocally. When I did, my mother slapped me hard in the face and told me how cruel I was to rejoice in his death. I didn’t flinch nor did I recant the joyous news that he was shot down like the rabid dog he was. That’s just one of the times my mother hit me when I told her I was molested and how justice had been served.
I don’t have proof (yet) but I believe my mother was raped as a child by relatives. However, that generations will NEVER admit the horrors of such abuse. I will not allow my abuses to go unpublished. As I say, “We Own Our Image!”…In 2000, I called my mother to my home and confronted her. I knew wasn’t angry nor was I expecting acknowledgement. I just wanted to tell her I forgave her because I was at peace. She sat there blank-faced and after an hour, got up and walked out without saying a word. Nonetheless, my spirit was freed that day.- Clarissa
Clarissa brought up a very interesting point, she suspects the reason why her mother responded to her rape with indifference is because she was the victim of rape herself as a child and I suspect that many blackistani women have also been victims of sexual abuse and/or harassment at the hands of blackistani men, but you would think they would want to break the cycle instead of keeping it alive. In some sick way do they see it as a way to make these girls “Strong”? Do they see it as “well I got through it and so will you?” Sadly they seem to want to keep other black women/girls entangled in this web of destruction and the threads they use to keep the web nice and strong is betrayal and denial. Betrayal in the form of leaving young girls and women vulnerable to predators by protecting the criminals and denial in the form of refusing to believe or hear the voices of the victims, their own children or other black girls.
Some of our mothers (women of that time) would rather go to their graves in denial than face the reality of what has happened to them and what they allowed to happen to their own daughters. It is shameful and a mindset. How can a girl be asking for it at age 12? -SwirlQueen
The stories are endless that I have heard or seen go on and on from little girls being molested to college girls being surrounded by black men and their bathing suits being ripped off their bodies and they are raped or almost raped by these animals. Sadly it will continue until someone breaks the cycle.
Breaking the cycle means sending rapists to jail or juvenille hall and not covering up their crimes because you don’t want to see another black man go to jail, that protection is reserved for innocent men! Breaking the cycle also means listening to and believing the young women when they speak up about how their bodies have been violated and it does not matter if the assailant is a fellow 5th grader or a grown man and BELIEVING them. Breaking the cycle also means that black women have to stop thinking it’s cute or encouraging their daughters to act out sexually, to stop having children out of wedlock and to stop bringing strange men into their homes around their daughters!
….in 2012 BG are sexualized by their parent(s)! Sexy fake hair sexy clothes sexy dances sexy tv shows sex sex sex booty popping. No girlhood. men in and out the house, men babysitting we know how molesters target Black communities (and Africa!!), to me its worse than it was before cause these dumb single mothers are too trusting with grown men around their kids, no daddy around, no granddaddy. Dire. – B.B.
And finally breaking the cycle means helping young girls and women HEAL through counseling, support, positive reinforcement, and assuring them that they are not “fast” or have a “hot tail” because they are or are becoming what God created them to be, WOMEN. I know there are young girls out there who are promiscuous, we all knew at least one girl who was “popular” with the boys in school and even with her I question what happened to her to cause her to use her body to gain acceptance with the opposite sex. Most girls however are innocent victims of the “fast girl” witch hunt in blackistan and they have the right to become beautiful, healthy and whole women without being violated and trampled upon in the process.
No matter what, DO NOT allow predator protectionist friends, relatives, co-workers, etc to negotiate our silence. Let me say that again: Keeping silent about abuse is NOT an option!-BWDB
If a girl is going to be “fast”, then let it be fast to speak up!