I’d like to think all women are great to work with, I really, really would.
But…I can’t.
One of the main reasons I got out of Corporate America was because, upon discovering that I was to be subordinate to a woman, I would break out into chills and cold sweats. You see, I don’t “do” shameless sycophant well, AT ALL. I find it physically painful to fawn all over an insecure boss, hang on her every word, shower her with compliments about her new hair color and beg her to tell me where she gets her nails done.
The worst boss I ever had was a woman, and she damn near caused me a nervous breakdown. I was a struggling single parent at the time, and she, of course childless at the time, was completely insensitive to my work-hour constraints–I had to be at Maxi Me’s preschool before 6:00 PM or have to pay through the nose in after-hour fees, which I could not afford. I also didn’t want my child languishing at the school, the only one who hadn’t been picked up. So she would send me to long-distance trips to San Diego (1.5 hours away with no traffic; 3,ooo hours during rush hour), Los Angeles and Orange County for the all-day escapades to keep the clients happy, but if I wasn’t done with my work by 4PM, I’d sweat bullets because Southern California traffic is the first circle of Dante’s Inferno. She’d openly tell me that she didn’t think I deserved the salary I was hired with, and would say so in the presence of the other junior executives at my level, so they would hate me too. She’d throw me under the bus whenever possible, and was in general, the biggest bitch I’d ever met in my life. I’m not one to hold a grudge, but to this day I loathe her.
Anyway, enough about me and the horrible boss that almost cost me my sanity. I know I’m not alone, and now it’s confirmed. Psychologist Meredith Fuller is set to publish at book called, “Working with Bitches: Identify the Eight Types of Office mean Girls and Rise Above Workplace Nastiness.”
Why might you need it? “Usually, the women are decent, hard working, ethical and transparent workers. They [women like me] are bewildered by conniving, self-serving, or nasty bitches and are likely to assume that somehow it is their fault. Perhaps they’re imagining it; they aren’t competent; they’re too sensitive; they don’t fit the role or place; or they wouldn’t be heard it they spoke up,” says Fuller. That’s because Men don’t want to know about it, and many people haven’t realized the severity of its impact, she says.
I think this book might be especially important for black women, who oftentimes haven’t been exposed to the passive aggressive nature that women of other cultures use to punish their enemies. You need to know so you can side step the wrath of the “Bitchy Boss” so you don’t go home every night and curl into a ball and cry all night. It’s set to come out March 15, so you might want to reserve a copy of pre-order. If I was still a corporate slave, I’ve snatch this book up quick and count the days until I showed up at my doorstep.
Fuller identifies the eight “bitchy” types:
The Excluder: She sees other women as oxygen thieves if there is no personal gain from communicated with them. She can pretend you don’t exist and fail to pass on important information.
The Insecure: She micromanages everyone, trust no one, and thinks that no one knows better than she does.
The Toxic: She is a two-faced game-player who should never be trusted. She’ll suck up to you and be your best friend one minute, then gossip about you the next.
I've been fortunate never to have this kind of boss. In fact my female bosses have all been great (big sisterly, easy to get along with, and knew their stuff jobwise) while I did have one male boss that drove me to resign. Really--it was just not worth putting up with, facing someone everyday who refused to give me any direction and found fault with everything I did. Anyone see the hilarious movie Horrible Bosses? I could relate to the guy that worked under the Kevin Spacey character.
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