Beyond Black & White » Editorial Staff http://www.beyondblackwhite.com Chronicles, Musings and Debates about Interracial & Intercultural Relationships Sat, 20 Sep 2014 03:23:12 +0000 en-US hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=4.0 Black Women Who Seek To Eliminate Themselves “Out Of Love” http://www.beyondblackwhite.com/black-women-seek-eliminate-love/ http://www.beyondblackwhite.com/black-women-seek-eliminate-love/#comments Fri, 25 Apr 2014 15:05:13 +0000 http://www.beyondblackwhite.com/?p=29990 I feel a mixture of compassion and frustration with black women who are determined to degrade themselves in the pursuit of seeking validation from poisonous sources. These women are often hostile to those who tell them that it’s pointless to self-segregate from the world when black men are doing the exact opposite. Not only that, these […]

The post Black Women Who Seek To Eliminate Themselves “Out Of Love” appeared first on Beyond Black & White.

]]>
annoyed-black-womanI feel a mixture of compassion and frustration with black women who are determined to degrade themselves in the pursuit of seeking validation from poisonous sources.

These women are often hostile to those who tell them that it’s pointless to self-segregate from the world when black men are doing the exact opposite.

Not only that, these men are often dragging the beauty and reputation of black women to FILTH while knowing that black women will desperately continue to sing their praises out of fear that they’ll have absolutely nothing if they dare to do otherwise.

It’s more or less a “keep hope alive” gesture. Anyone that interferes with validation-seeking black women and their behaviors typically will suffer the wrath of these women at some point.

 

Still, it’s hard to watch black women commit “emotional suicide”. What I mean by emotional suicide  is to commit acts that slowly and figuratively destroy the precious, unique individual.

The act or actions leave these black women so empty, they can only hope to experience value through another person or group, a sort of proxy.

For many black women, that proxy is black men. They don’t merely hold up black men out of love; they do so because black manhood is the only form of self-love they are allowed.

This may seem strange, even unbelievable, but bear with me for a minute.

 

There Is No “I” Anymore

Some black women are simply attracted to black men. Okay. Some NBAB women only want black men and will loudly tell anyone and everyone about it.

Okay.

But there is something typically more unfortunate at the heart of some black women’s behavior who constantly white knight DBR black men.

These women have no sense of self, to the point where they only talk about black men. What they think, feel, and need and why it’s far more important that black women focus on these things than their own best interests.

It is often so bad, you may be tempted to assume the person is a BM troll pretending to be a woman.

The tone is the key.

BM trolls who pretend to be black women are often ugly in their tone, unable to hide their intraracial misogyny and hatred of black women. They refer to black women separately from themselves, even though they are claiming to be black women. It is CLEAR they identify with black men because they are black men.

However, these are women who revere blackness and black men because without these things…they have no individual identity. Their entire identity is reserved for everything and anything that black men want. No matter how disrespectful to black womenhood. No matter how disrespectful to them personally.

 

These Women Want Permission To Commit Emotional Suicide. And They Will Hate You For Not Giving It!

 

A place like this that screams “character over color” and “you are at the bottom of no one’s totem pole” and “black men who act up are not worth your time” are constant slaps in the face to these women.

Not only do we hold DBR black men accountable for their behavior, we make it loud and clear we aren’t checking for them.

These women are ERASING THEMSELVES in a desperate bid for love and here we are laughing at the very same words that make these women feel like nothing.

But because they do not allow themselves to be rid of the black male trolls who make them feel like dirt, they instead turn their make-shift wrath on us.

“How dare you talk about black men and black love that way!”

 

What The REAL Issue Is…

 

When someone can only experience love and happiness as a black person through black men, they feel like they’re being attacked when you discuss black men in less than glowing terms.

Calling these men out means calling out the only thing that gives these women value. At least, that’s what they delude themselves into believing!

That’s how proxies work: When you threaten someone’s only source of self-worth, even if it’s secondary, they’re going to have a problem with YOU.

Yes, they are mad at us and not the individuals that have denied validation for so long, it’s a forgone conclusion that these persons are not to expect to be loved or validated. Crazy, isn’t it?

And of course some black women who engage in extreme validation-seeking behaviors and are content to be black by proxy (existing as secondary black men rather than as black women…) will tell you that they are happy with how things are.

 

We’re just being big ol’ meanies who should BACK OFF@!

Except we’re not attacking them…we’re trying to help them see that they are perfectly valuable as they are. That they don’t have to erase their precious black womanhood or continue to crush their souls by begging men who hate them to love them.

 

Unfortunately, intentions are irrelevant when it comes to black women determined to virtually eliminate themselves.

 

Sometimes you have to let women slide to the bottom of the barrel with the rest of the crabs and expect not everyone wants to be “saved” from the hell of intraracial misogyny.

They want to help perpetrate it instead, because it’s who they are and all they know.

 

My advice is to pity these women…and avoid them. I’m not going to waste my energy on these women and I advice other black women not to either. Either they’ll get it together eventually or never at all.

All you can do is say a prayer and focus on your life and happiness.

The post Black Women Who Seek To Eliminate Themselves “Out Of Love” appeared first on Beyond Black & White.

]]>
http://www.beyondblackwhite.com/black-women-seek-eliminate-love/feed/ 186
White Feminist Pretending To Be “Concerned” for Asian Women Marrying White Men…Yeah Right! http://www.beyondblackwhite.com/white-feminist-pretending-concerned-asian-women-marrying-white-men-yeah-right/ http://www.beyondblackwhite.com/white-feminist-pretending-concerned-asian-women-marrying-white-men-yeah-right/#comments Mon, 31 Mar 2014 04:22:01 +0000 http://www.beyondblackwhite.com/?p=29480 UPDATE!!!!!!! It is all a hoax ladies and gentleman the source article is a Hoax. “Anne Gus” is really a guy who was outed after posting an earlier article on the same site.  Here is a link to said outing. “Thought Catalog publishes satirical ‘feminist’ essay jokingly written by man” http://tinyurl.com/p33j97q Look at the date. […]

The post White Feminist Pretending To Be “Concerned” for Asian Women Marrying White Men…Yeah Right! appeared first on Beyond Black & White.

]]>
UPDATE!!!!!!!

It is all a hoax ladies and gentleman the source article is a Hoax.

“Anne Gus” is really a guy who was outed after posting an earlier article on the same site.  Here is a link to said outing.

“Thought Catalog publishes satirical ‘feminist’ essay jokingly written by man”

http://tinyurl.com/p33j97q

Look at the date.  For some reason nearly a week later the fake Anne gets off another shot which is the source material for the article Toni submitted.

In fact the Fake Anne has several articles on Thought Catalog. Well she…er he has had a good run but the party is over.

 

Many thanks and a deep Jedi bow to community member horrorjunky for pulling our coat tails on this one.

Discuss away but just know this is based on a work of fiction.

Brenda55

 

 

This is a response post I didn’t think I would be writing because the main target of this ugly bit of racism is AW/WM couples.

asian-women-white-men

However, it suddenly occurred to me that this is a preemptive measure.  And also…sometimes wrong is wrong, and you just gotta say something.

Get ready, though. It’s only a matter of time before it’s black women that are the target of  “funny” articles like this.

(Warning: The above article is EXTREMELY racist. The author gets found out when it goes viral and then tries to backpedal like her life depends on it. But trust me, the ignorance is astounding…)

 

Anne is a textbook privileged  feminist  of the “we’re all sisters until you date our men” variety who has no clue how the world works .

Don’t believe me? Take a gander:

I believe that, as a result of the lack of feminism in The Asia, a sexist and racist view of Asian women being softer and more submissive than Western women, has spread across the globe.

Being a very cultured young woman in her twenties who watches a lot of foreign film, I faced this stereotype many years ago. I mean how many female ninjas do you see in all the Bruce Chan movies ? I’ll spare you a thousand hours of male on male violence and tell you the answer. None. They’re always portrayed, either as ‘Gay Charles’ a homophobic slur that means “an Asian high-class lady of the night”, or rice picking slaves with Sombreros.

 

That’s right, kids. If you want to learn about the world…watch foreign movies.

Don’t have friends who are from various ethnic backgrounds. Don’t travel the world. Don’t read a ton of books. Certainly don’t attempt to adjust your ethnocentric point of view regarding other women in the world.

Right.

On the heels of, “I’m just looking out for you Asian women!” comes the real reason why Anne took to the internet for this rant:

Oh and what are we white women supposed to do now then, that you’re like, totally dating all the white guys? Are we supposed to like, go for your men? No offense, but they’re like kinda short and nerdy and not very hot. [Toni: LIIIIIIIIIIIIES!] I mean they’re perfect for you, you’re like made for each other, but white men kind of like, belong to us.

Okay, that came out a little disjointed or whatever, but I was super mad when I wrote this.

So underneath that “girl power” vomit was a thinly veiled threat that Asian women know their place and keep their hands off. White men are terrible….for non-white women.

Cute.

Needless to say the internet did not take too well to Anne’s brand of stupid and decided to blast her with both barrels. How did Anne rationalize this moronic rant?

She wrote in a follow-up post called “Dear Asians, I’m Not The Enemy”“:

Okay, so as you know, my most recent piece about Asian women dating White men went kinda viral. Now all these Asian girls are up in my grill, online and even here on the streets of Boston saying I am the racist one. This is a typical, misogynist attempt to deflect the blame from privileged White Men.

AAAAAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA!

 

No seriously, you can’t make this ish up. This woman goes on a “get yer hands off my men, BIATCH!” rant and then has the AUDACITY to say people coming at her for her absolutely disgusting behavior are forgetting who the real enemy is…!

I am trying to tell you, black women:  You cannot, CANNOT, be naive enough to use skin color and gender as the primary indicators of who your allies are! 

The people claiming you are automatically allies because “we’re both black” or “we’re both women” will be among the first to throw a banana peel in your path “for your own good”…

 

Is it any wonder that DBR black men and racist white women get along like two peas in a pod?

Let’s see:

- Unwarranted sense of entitlement and ownership of the opposite sex

- Need to blame white men for their problems while conveniently ignoring their own terrible and harmful behavior towards other groups.

- Using disrespectful and abusive language towards so-called allies they claim to be concerned about, looking out for, and wanting to protect.

– Thinly veiled hatred of group they are addressing

– Feel if they gas-light hard enough, they can control decisions that are actually none of their damn business!

 

Get it through your head, Anne:

Character.

Above.

Color.

 

I don’t really care whether or not Anne has a man. It’s not unusual for white women like this to have a husband and still stare daggers at black women cuddled up with their own white significant others.

I’m not going to give Anne the benefit of the doubt for being young, either. I am skeptical this is a way of thinking she will grow out of. And besides, she’s old enough to know better than to use the ugly language that she uses.

 

Does Anne speak for all white women? No, no more than all black men automatically hate BW/WM couples.

However, just because she doesn’t speak for all WW doesn’t mean that WW like her shouldn’t be called out early and often. Same with BM. Calling out hateful behavior is not an act of hate.

Don’t let anyone try that okey-doke on you.

 

The original post is being floated as possibly attempt at “satire” or attempt to troll the internet. Reading between the lines, the emotion behind the original post is clear as day. As is the flimsy nature of the justification.

Some level attacks against disenfranchised groups under the guise of, “Hey, I’m on your side! The delivery is just a little ‘rough'”.

 

Black women be prepared to stand up to people who “jokingly” mock you as a human being while claiming to be your friend. Be prepared to call out concern trolls who try and dictate that you are nothing more than a fetish and that no man can truly love you because of your race.

 

Smile as you ram it back down their throats and then daintily hop over them and stroll on, leaving them rolling around on the sidewalk gagging.

You will meet plenty of Anne Gus-type idiots in your life. Just remember that they do not get to decide your happiness no matter how much it genuinely pisses them off you’re with a white guy (or Asian guy, because this chick needs her eyes examined…).

 

Only you get to decide who or what you want out of life!

The post White Feminist Pretending To Be “Concerned” for Asian Women Marrying White Men…Yeah Right! appeared first on Beyond Black & White.

]]>
http://www.beyondblackwhite.com/white-feminist-pretending-concerned-asian-women-marrying-white-men-yeah-right/feed/ 113
Spring forward and get a jump start on your spring wardrobe…. http://www.beyondblackwhite.com/spring-forward-get-jump-start-spring-wardrobe/ http://www.beyondblackwhite.com/spring-forward-get-jump-start-spring-wardrobe/#comments Wed, 19 Feb 2014 23:26:55 +0000 http://www.beyondblackwhite.com/?p=28050 Those of us who are major fashion heads are always keeping our eyes trained forward to the next season although we may be firmly entrenched in one at the moment. Yes we have one month left of winter, but that doesn’t mean that we only have to be focused on winter. What about spring? It’ll be […]

The post Spring forward and get a jump start on your spring wardrobe…. appeared first on Beyond Black & White.

]]>
Those of us who are major fashion heads are always keeping our eyes trained forward to the next season although we may be firmly entrenched in one at the moment. Yes we have one month left of winter, but that doesn’t mean that we only have to be focused on winter. What about spring? It’ll be here before you know it and you will already be behind the bar. As an old sage once said, “The early bird catches the worm.” And that folks is the ultimate truth.

DOL_1454.450x675

Dolce & Gabbana SS 2014

 

So in order to help you ladies on a budget because goddess knows I am, I have put together four boards of fashion forward outfits from H&M and shoes under $60. So get out your fashion tablets and pencils and start taking notes.

 

LUX_5232.450x675

Valentino, SS 2014

 

Spring is definitely about tribal and geometric prints. You can’t go wrong with a printed piece in your closet. Don’t be afraid to mix prints either. Florals and polkadots go together very nicely and so does tribal print with stripes. Have fun with it and be a bit daring.

 

Yellow, Black and Blue
Spring is all about bright candy pastel colors. This spring takes pastel to a whole new level. The yellows, pinks, greens, corals, and turquoises are brighter, happier, and more carefree. Don’t be afraid to add a pop of color somewhere in your wardrobe or outfit.
H&M Corale
Another fabulous trend is my favorite colors combined; red, black and white. I can’t help it, I’m an Aries. Red  and white will always be my go to colors. So don’t shy away from red. Mix it up. If you feel the color is too bright, tone it down with white and black.
H&M black, white, red
Another thing awesome to do this spring is wearing the traditional tuxedo jacket in a bright color and add another bright colored accessory to the mix.
Red, Yellow, Black, & White
Hopefully, you will take on board some of my awesome tips–don’t mean to tout my own horn, but tout tout–and get started on your spring wardrobe. Soon I will be doing a post about all of the spring trends in the upcoming weeks so be on the look out.

 

 

 

The post Spring forward and get a jump start on your spring wardrobe…. appeared first on Beyond Black & White.

]]>
http://www.beyondblackwhite.com/spring-forward-get-jump-start-spring-wardrobe/feed/ 5
Why Is Everyone Mad At A “Non-Working” Black Woman? http://www.beyondblackwhite.com/everyone-mad-non-working-black-woman/ http://www.beyondblackwhite.com/everyone-mad-non-working-black-woman/#comments Tue, 18 Feb 2014 17:11:48 +0000 http://www.beyondblackwhite.com/?p=28668 I find that there are few things that piss off black people more than a stay at home black mother. Not stay at home mother, but stay at home BLACK mother. The minute a black woman opens her mouth to suggest she wants to be cared for out come the shamers and concern trolls in […]

The post Why Is Everyone Mad At A “Non-Working” Black Woman? appeared first on Beyond Black & White.

]]>
I find that there are few things that piss off black people more than a stay at home black mother. Not stay at home mother, but stay at home BLACK mother. The minute a black woman opens her mouth to suggest she wants to be cared for out come the shamers and concern trolls in full force.

black_mom

“Women need to be independent! You ought to be able to take care of yourself AND your man if need be…”

“My mother worked two jobs to take care of us, what makes you so special?!”

“See, it’s attitudes like yours that make men think black women are nothing but gold diggers.”

“This isn’t the 1950s. No woman should want to be in the kitchen all day…”

 

Mmmhmm.

There is nothing that brings groups of people together quite like the opportunity to tell a black woman if she isn’t a work horse for herself and others, she’s living life wrong. Black womanhood is supposed to be a struggle. Black womanhood is supposed to mean you can be a mother and father to your children; you don’t need a man! (Turn the captions on, there are English subtitles…)

The problem is that “needing someone” is treated like a cardinal sin, especially if you are a dark-skinned black women.

A Postscript From Slavery?

The idea that “a black woman needs to always work” doesn’t seem to be a behavior pattern shared with all black women or non-African American communities. In fact, the people I see pushing this narrative most strongly are African American people and especially African American men.

One theory is that because of the condition of black people in America due to slavery, there doesn’t seem to be a memory in the collective African American consciousness of a time when black women didn’t work. Many black households were poor and deprived of opportunities even after slavery was over due to white racism.

Black women HAD to work since often being a SAHM was not something that black women could afford to do, or was even expected to try and do. Some black women, especially single black mothers, can’t afford to stop working even now.

So forgive me if I give the long side-eye to people acting like all women were happily in their own kitchens and living rooms during the 1950s. Often the mothers and grandmothers of today’s feminists who casually refer to the 5os as some by-gone era, before women were “liberated” from the home and able to march proudly into the workforce, had black maids scrubbing their floors and minding their children.

Or they passed by black women out in the fields picking crops, something those women had done for generations.

Or their white skin was able to open doors for them that their “black sisters” could not walk through, no matter how hard those black women were already working.

But I digress…

The point is that people in America may be so hell-bent on a “black women are wrong if they want a man to provide for them” because they are obedient to imagery burned to the minds of previous generations: It was the black woman doing all the work, all the chores, all the child-rearing while the white women of the house weren’t expected to do much of anything except be taken care of. These experiences and images in books, television, and movies created a norm: If you are a black woman, you are to take care of others and always work. This norm made black women the providers in their communities.

Anyone else think it’s funny that Disney’s only black princess’s happy ending involves being able work and support herself and a broke prince?

Colorism And Internalized Racism?

I bring up the image of the work-horse black woman and the non-working lighter/whiter woman because another theory I have is that this attitude is based off of the low valuation of black womanhood in the black community. If black people in the United States are mentally damaged as a result of slavery and white racism, it makes sense that they turn this in on themselves. Rather than men being taught to value black women and be proud to work for and support them, the opposite becomes true:  A black woman is seen as not worth providing for and protecting.

What happens when a woman feels she is not valuable and worth protecting? Her self-esteem takes a nosedive. She settles for unsuitable men who will use and abandon her. And this develops into a pattern of low expectations regarding relationships or of men who are in and out of a woman’s life that affirm her sense of low self-worth. This “low value, lowered bar/low expectations” logic is passed down through generations of black women, unless someone is able to break the cycle.

What happens when the African American community trumpets that black women are not valuable and not worth protecting? Black women are left to fend for themselves and any offspring they have. To justify this, words are coded to help silence black women who ask for help.

“Strong black women” are women who haul a load to heavy for two people. No matter how miserable and lonely you are, as long as you don’t drop dead from a heart attack you have achieved SBW status.

“Gold Diggers” are black women who, at the very least, demand that men who fathered their kids out of wedlock be inclined to spend money to help raise them. However, it is often a term used to shame black women out of dating men that can afford to financially support the both of them or want to! These “gold diggers” are then steered towards men who are happy to not support them in any way, shape, or form, but still expect access to her body.

“Independent womanhood” means that a man only need show up with his penis in hand; black women need not reasonably expect a man to care for her or even stick around should children be made.

The Likely Truth A The Heart Of This?

There may be a combination of factors as to why African Americans can’t stand to let a black woman stay at home and have a man provide for her.

However, it all leads to a couple of questions:

 

- Exactly what business is it of YOURS whether or not a black woman intends to seek a man who wishes to act as protector and provider for her household?

- What is it to YOU that a black woman vets men according his willingness to pay for meals, spoil her, and tell her she doesn’t have to work if she doesn’t want to?

 

You don’t want that for yourself? Congratulations! Here’s to finding a man or woman according to your own non-traditional standards.

It doesn’t matter that you think this is “wrong” for black women. It doesn’t matter why. Because you have no power over stopping black women from moving comfortably into the arms of men who are more than happy to provide for and value them.

We all know some men hate competition and are looking to get their hands on a woman through trickery rather than any serious work. So excuse me if I tell some of you loud-mouths to take a flying leap off of a bridge.

 

Your anger at the end of the day is nothing more than impotence; you know you’re a low value man that can only get a woman if you can dupe her into thinking she needs to chase you.

 

As for the concern trolling women, save it: Black women as a group work far harder than any other group on the planet, because MANY of us are doing it ALONE. So sit the hell down and shut the hell up.

Black women are not white women and black women’s issues are not white women’s issues. For white women, they may feel they have exceeded their women ancestors by being educated and working and being single.

Black women are just as free to be single and educated and working for ourselves. Having a job isn’t a “sign of progress” for black women:  We’ve always been at work, because we didn’t have any other choice. Working has both been matter of survival and expected servitude created by white supremacy, a fact often conveniently ignored by many white educated feminists. The decision to co-opt the relationship needs of black women according  a white narrative is racist and an exercise in willful ignorance.

Allow black women to feel a sense of pride for their daughters who DON’T have to work, DON’T have to struggle and have found men who are happy to provide for them because to them, a black wife isn’t automatically a post-slavery work horse…but a woman they cherish and wife they are happy to protect, provide for, and value. 

And you know, mind your own business.

The post Why Is Everyone Mad At A “Non-Working” Black Woman? appeared first on Beyond Black & White.

]]>
http://www.beyondblackwhite.com/everyone-mad-non-working-black-woman/feed/ 198
You Tried It: On Unsuitable Men Hiding Behind “Feminism” http://www.beyondblackwhite.com/tried-unsuitable-men-hiding-behind-feminism/ http://www.beyondblackwhite.com/tried-unsuitable-men-hiding-behind-feminism/#comments Tue, 18 Feb 2014 06:48:08 +0000 http://www.beyondblackwhite.com/?p=28646 In my previous article on the whole “gold digger” meme, I said the following: It is really tiring to me when I see people throwing [the word gold digger] at a black woman the minute she opens her mouth about wanting to date and marry a man of means or at the very least has more […]

The post You Tried It: On Unsuitable Men Hiding Behind “Feminism” appeared first on Beyond Black & White.

]]>
feminaziIn my previous article on the whole “gold digger” meme, I said the following:

It is really tiring to me when I see people throwing [the word gold digger] at a black woman the minute she opens her mouth about wanting to date and marry a man of means or at the very least has more money than she does. I get tired of this jank as hell word being thrown at black women who don’t settle for….  [every] form of undesirable.

[...]

[The current position of many black women is the direct]  result of generations of black wombs making themselves available for men going nowhere. Until finally producing a generation of men indignantly demanding the right to refuse the security of marriage and giving the time of day to children THEY ALREADY HAVE but still, just temporarily, having access to a womb that will not be wanted or desired beyond a few brief occupations.

Black women need to cross unsuitable men off their list. These are not men you associate with, argue with, or try and prove yourself to. If you are sincere about finding someone who loves and will look after you…pass on men who hide  behind a lopsided view of feminism and the modern woman to mask their inadequacies.

No Gold To Dig But Testing For “Gold Diggers”?

As I stated in the previous article, the reality of many men who go on about gold diggers is they have no gold to dig. It’s often the poorest, most unsuitable males that cry the loudest about some “lazy gold-digging ho” trying to take advantage of them.

Although I have learned to place such remarks squarely in the “projection” category, it is important that women know that men like this are waving a huge red flag.

First of all courtship is not about a woman trying to show any man that she can provide for and protect him. It’s not her trying to show how not-a-leech she is by offering to go dutch or even paying for the dates. It is and has always been about the man demonstrating his intentions to MARRY.

Dating and courtships are two entirely different things. A man who dates you and wants you to demonstrate “how you’re not a gold digger” by giving him money is a second-rate pimp as far as I’m concerned. At the very least, he’s not a man who is seriously invested in pursuing a long term relationship with you. And if he is, do not expect this self-serving stingy behavior to magically disappear if you marry him.

 

Equality = Pay Your Own Way To Love?

Like attracts like.

There are indeed women who are feminists, ardently, to the point they demand to be able to pay for everything. And if a man really wants that type of woman, it’s certainly the type of woman he should go for.

But this logic of “women want to be equal, so I’m not taking care of any woman” comes from the mouths of a type of male that attempts to blame his feelings on feminism.

The problem is that when women go looking for a suitable mate, it’s not on behalf of the Feminist Movement. Women are seeking a man who will love and respect her as his wife…not just “a woman”. Moreover, a man who is willing to care for her when she can’t care for herself.

What is a woman supposed to do when she physically can’t work because of a difficult pregnancy, illness, or a disability? Should she reasonably expect to be dumped “because she can’t pull her own weight”?

Also consider children: You can’t split them down the middle; they need the support of both parents. Will a man who isn’t willing to go above and beyond to care for a woman he’s supposed to love “because we’re equal now” magically start to care and provide for his kids?

A better question is….why would any sensible woman risk the negative consequences associated with such a man in the first place?

As I said in another post on the matter:

this isn’t about two people much of the time: It’s about a man, a woman, and eventually their kids.

This makes things UNEQUAL. It is the woman who carries the children. It is the woman who risks her life to bring them into the world. It is the woman who raises and nurtures her children.

This is the same throughout nature. Only the difference between the animal kingdom and the human population is you have men eager to flip the script and reject any true responsibility for woman and child.

 

So What Is At The Heart Of This Okey Doke?

It’s just another way for unsuitable males to get into the path of women that need to leave them alone. These men are about themselves. They do not have the maturity, empathy, or inclination to ever stop being about themselves. These are the men who knock women up and then turn tail and run from said women and any progeny.

These are the men with deflated egos that seek to blame anyone and everyone for their character flaws. Today it’s “feminism and the modern women”. In truth these men have always been around and have always been unsuitable. It’s just now they have a new excuse to hide behind as to why they aren’t worth a damn.

A few hundred years ago, such men would stay away from worthy women unless they wanted a sword through the heart, courtesy of father, brother, or another male in the woman’s circle of protection. Today, some women no longer have that (some…not all…) and are fully expected to make their way in the world and learn on their own what type of men are suitable and which ones are a major waste of time.

This has enabled a class of males who previously were denied access to get at these women with their sob stories, backwards expectations, and totally dupe these woman as to get whatever it is they want out of them. Whether it’s easy access to sex, a free meal, or a punching bag to blame for their own inadequacies.

 

Ladies, life is too short to waste men who are in a “what can you do for me” mindset versus courtship mindset. If you are an independent black woman who has your own…ask yourself why you even need such person. A relationship is a joining of two people, not two individuals together. There is no “separate but equal” logic in any sensible relationship.

The post You Tried It: On Unsuitable Men Hiding Behind “Feminism” appeared first on Beyond Black & White.

]]>
http://www.beyondblackwhite.com/tried-unsuitable-men-hiding-behind-feminism/feed/ 33
BBW’s First Valentine’s Day Gift Guide for Him http://www.beyondblackwhite.com/bbws-first-valentines-day-gift-guide/ http://www.beyondblackwhite.com/bbws-first-valentines-day-gift-guide/#comments Tue, 11 Feb 2014 07:15:37 +0000 http://www.beyondblackwhite.com/?p=28373 Women if you are like me, you are absolutely stumped about what to buy your beau for VDay. I personally think men are harder to shop for than women. Should I get him jewellery (does he wear jewellery?). What about cologne (what does he like to wear or should I buy him something I think […]

The post BBW’s First Valentine’s Day Gift Guide for Him appeared first on Beyond Black & White.

]]>
Women if you are like me, you are absolutely stumped about what to buy your beau for VDay. I personally think men are harder to shop for than women. Should I get him jewellery (does he wear jewellery?). What about cologne (what does he like to wear or should I buy him something I think would smell good on him?).  Man, wth do I buy my guy? Well ladies, you can thank me later, I searched high and low for the perfect gift guide for him, just to make life slightly easier for you. I included high-end and low-end items and even if you do not choose anything from the guide, I hope that they will inspire your gift ideas. So login, logon, pull out that credit or debit card and get to shopping for the man who more than likely purchase gifts for you all year ’round without expecting much from you.

Happy Valentine’s Day to those coupled up and Happy Single’s Appreciation Day for those who aren’t. P.S. Don’t forget to rollover or click the pictures to find out the price and where to obtain each item.

BBW Valentine's Gift Guide

 

 

UNDERNEATH IT ALL

As they say, beauty comes from within but when it comes to men, feeling comfortable starts with what’s underneath. For VDay, gift your honey with a dose of sexy underthings to get his day started of right.

Men's Underthings VDay

…and DAMN!

Frigo-Underwear-Front

RevolutionWear’s FRIGO is the newest and most innovative, breathable product line in men’s underwear and once men try them on they never go back to normal underwear again. It feels like you’re not wearing anything at all. Christelyn’s hubster has tried and approved. Awesome for running.
This supportive form-fitting underwear maintains several game-changing features including the patented FRIGO Zone, an adjustable mesh pouch for men to, well, insert their manhood into which promotes a cool airy feeling… almost like wearing nothing at all. Furthermore, the company’s premium line is a blend of several microfibers seamlessly fused together, along with silicon-lined legs that gently hug the thigh, preventing ride up or bunching.

GROOMING SUPPLIES FOR VDAY

GROOM ME BABY

This Valentine’s Day give the gift of grooming.  If like me, you know men, the avoid grooming at all cost besides their weekly shave of course. But men, like women need to take the extra steps to care for their skin. Here are some excellent gifts to get your beau on his way, including a satin pillow case.

mEN'S gROOMING

ACCESSORIZE ME

accessorize me-Men's Vday guide

Raise your beau’s stock with these great accessories. From high-end to budget, these accessories are bound to make your honey well sparkle.

Men's Accessories Vday Guide

DRESS YOU UP IT MY LOVE

These great pieces are a wonderful way to show the one you love that you, ermm, love him. Clothes are definitely a way to warm his heart and I am sure he’d appreciate the effort to make him look fabulous.

LOVE YOU TEAL THE END

Teal the End of Time

 

KNIT ME IN

Knit Me In

 

 

MY CHECKERED PAST

My Checkered Past

The post BBW’s First Valentine’s Day Gift Guide for Him appeared first on Beyond Black & White.

]]>
http://www.beyondblackwhite.com/bbws-first-valentines-day-gift-guide/feed/ 9