Beyond Black & White » Politics http://www.beyondblackwhite.com Chronicles, Musings and Debates about Interracial & Intercultural Relationships Fri, 21 Nov 2014 04:49:48 +0000 en-US hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=4.0.1 Sad News. Jacque Reid Pulled Out if the IR Dating Challenge, and it’s All Over the New York Post http://www.beyondblackwhite.com/sad-news-jacque-reid-pulled-ir-dating-challenge-new-york-post/ http://www.beyondblackwhite.com/sad-news-jacque-reid-pulled-ir-dating-challenge-new-york-post/#comments Mon, 17 Nov 2014 09:23:50 +0000 http://www.beyondblackwhite.com/?p=34699 We were all thrilled when Jacque Reid took up the challenge to expand her dating options with the help of my coaching and InterracialDatingCentral.com. What I couldn’t tell you until today is that Jacque pulled out. There’s a reason, and I’ll get more into detail as to the reason for this on the forum, because […]

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H&M Collaboration With Anna Della Russo At The Plaza Hotel

We were all thrilled when Jacque Reid took up the challenge to expand her dating options with the help of my coaching and InterracialDatingCentral.com. What I couldn’t tell you until today is that Jacque pulled out. There’s a reason, and I’ll get more into detail as to the reason for this on the forum, because of the sensitive nature of the reason, which boils down to Jacque and her handlers getting cold feet about the whole project.  You’ll find it under “Jacque’s Chronicles.” You can read the New York Post story. You’ll find my quotes in there as well.

This may be the last remaining taboo in our supposedly colorblind society.

A New York City woman — beautiful, educated, successful and single — accepted a challenge presented by an online dating service that aimed to fix her up with available men.

“I’m not desperate to get married,’’ said Jacque Reid, who co-hosts the “New York Live” lifestyle show on WNBC-TV News Channel 4, serves as a correspondent for the nationally syndicated “Tom Joyner Morning Show” on the radio, and is the editor in chief of SingleandLivingFab.com.

“I’ve met some good men. I’ve met some bad men and dated very bad men,” laughed Reid, a fitness enthusiast and never-married Atlanta, Ga., native who lives in Manhattan with her pet Shih Tzus — a boy named Sugar-Shane and a girl named Zoe.

“I’m happy being single,” said Reid, who declined to give her age.

She said, “I’m excited about” the Web-based matchup service. “It will be fun — and I’ll get some dates.”

But two days after we spoke last week, a WNBC spokeswoman informed me that Reid no longer planned to accept the dating service’s challenge because she was “busy.”

A friend told me that she’d changed her mind about it.

Why?

The answer may be found in the dating service’s name: InterracialDatingCentral.com.

Reid, who is African-American, had opened herself up to the possibility of going out with men who are not.

Except for one white guy, she has dated only within her race.

Reid had talked about the challenge on the radio and publicly accepted the service’s offer.

She agreed to be featured in a news release announcing that she would go on a series of blind dates with four New York-area bachelors of all races, including African-Americans.

Then the pushback began.

In this day and age, some people are vehemently against the idea of a woman of color going out with men of other backgrounds.

And the opposition comes from within the black community.

How can this be?

Mayor de Blasio, who is white, has been married to a black woman, Chirlane McCray, for more than two decades, and race matters to no one.

But the black character Olivia Pope (played by Kerry Washington), a Washington, DC, crisis manager on the ABC show “Scandal,” is routinely savaged online for having a fictional affair with the show’s married, white president of the United States.

“People don’t understand. They think it’s no big deal, but it is,” said Christelyn Karazin, co-author with Janice Roshalle Littlejohn of the book “Swirling: How to Date, Mate, and Relate Mixing Race, Culture and Creed.”

Karazin also writes the blog Beyond Black & White, runs an online forum of the same name and is brand ambassador to the interracial-dating site.

She was set to help Reid find new men.

“Why do you have to be brave to date whomever the hell you want to? This is 2014, not 1814!” she told me.

More than 12 years ago, Karazin, 41, who is African-American, married a white insurance executive, Michael, 42.

The pair lives happily in California with their three kids and Christelyn Karazin’s daughter from a previous relationship.

Yet criticism — some of it hurled online, some of it in Karazin’s face — for “marrying out” can be cruel.

Most of it comes from black men, she told me.

“Black men date or marry interracially at more than double the level women do,” she said.

“They are given a pass. They can date anyone they want to — black women, white women.”

The purpose of the dating challenge, she said, was to expand a woman’s choices.

Black women are up to 50 percent more likely than their male counterparts to graduate from high school, reports the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People and The Schott Foundation for Public Education.

About twice the number of black women attend college as black men, according to the National Coalition of Black Civic Participation.

And the Pew Research Center determined that black men were more than six times as likely as white men to be serving time in prisons and jails in 2010.

Meanwhile, said Karazin, the rate of out-of-wedlock births to black women is 72 to 80 percent — up to 100 percent in some communities.

Some of the ills facing black men, particularly high incarceration rates for relatively minor crimes, are unfair to them.

But Karazin does not believe that black women should be limited by race when choosing partners.

She’s right.

Skin color should not matter when it comes to love.

You can read my explanation and more background on the forum…if any subject needed to be discussed in a private and protected forum, this is it. You’ll have to register to see it.

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Mia Love Elected for Congress! http://www.beyondblackwhite.com/34532/ http://www.beyondblackwhite.com/34532/#comments Thu, 06 Nov 2014 04:14:26 +0000 http://www.beyondblackwhite.com/?p=34532 She’s black,  she’s republican, she’s Mormon and she can now add congresswoman to the list. Mia Love has  made history by becoming the first black woman in Utah’s history  to be elected to congress. The former mayor of Saratoga Springs has been the one to watch since she first ran in 2012  for the seat […]

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She’s black,  she’s republican, she’s Mormon and she can now add congresswoman to the list. Mia Love has  made history by becoming the first black woman in Utah’s history  to be elected to congress. The former mayor of Saratoga Springs has been the one to watch since she first ran in 2012  for the seat in Utah’s 4th congressional district. She lost the election, but undeterred she turned that setback into a come back and claimed the seat.

As the daughter of Haitian immigrants, Mia sees her victory as the opportunity to silence the naysayers some of whom have already labeled her “the Obama of the republican party”. “I love the story of David and Goliath, because in that story David turn toward Goliath..toward a seemingly impossible challenge,” She states. She does not ignore the fact that her victory is going to have its challenges but she is determined to make a difference and is bold in her intentions.  In her victory speech last night she had this to say:

“Let this be a lesson to the nation that we’re not interested in dividing Americans based on gender, race, social status. We are more interested in the integrity and honesty of a candidate,  someone who is going to return power back to the people  and away from Washington. “

The married mother of three, is used to rebelling  against the norm; she is a pro-life, pro-gun advocate whose maverick ways are going to ruffle a few feathers on Capitol Hill. She is not interested in playing the race card, but bringing integrity back.

“I am kind of a nightmare for the Democratic party, they don’t want me here. But I’m coming,” She declares.

And God help anyone who stands in her way.

Go get them Mia!

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Beyond Black & White Fan Page is Under Attack Again. Time to Go to War. http://www.beyondblackwhite.com/beyond-black-white-fan-page-attack-time-go-war/ http://www.beyondblackwhite.com/beyond-black-white-fan-page-attack-time-go-war/#comments Wed, 15 Oct 2014 15:53:41 +0000 http://www.beyondblackwhite.com/?p=33997 Not even a week since we launched Beyond Black & White The Rebirth, and we’re already under attack. As you know, the last page was deleted by a concerted effort of trolls who unjustly reported and complained to Facebook until we were shut down. The reason the haters did this? Because we tell uncomfortable truths about […]

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Not even a week since we launched Beyond Black & White The Rebirth, and we’re already under attack. As you know, the last page was deleted by a concerted effort of trolls who unjustly reported and complained to Facebook until we were shut down. The reason the haters did this? Because we tell uncomfortable truths about what goes on in the black community that makes some folks just too uncomfortable.

With the inception of the new page, while there has been ZERO content that is hate speech, they have now changed tactics and are coming into the page to instigate fights and start debate topics on thread…

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Here’s another. I’m just going to add screenshots of all the hate to PROVE what is going on here. There can no longer be any speculation.

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You guys, this is not a prank. This is not a gag. This is a full-on act of social media terror. Our page is INNOCENT, and we are being stalked and bullied into silence. Those who mock me said I was being “dramatic.” Really? Wait until those people have their pages attacked. Because make no mistake, the enemy is emboldened. They took me down, and now they WILL come for you.

These people want a war, they got one. I may be feminine, but I am not WEAK. WE are not weak. I was going to keep this to myself, but I think it’s appropriate to announce that BB&W just acquired the domain, BeyondBlackWhiteForums.com. We are now in the process of site construction. This will be a real, live SEPARATE forum (think Long Hair Care Forum and (gasp) LipStickAlly) just for our community, where we can discuss the topics important to our community without FEAR of someone TEARING DOWN WHAT WE BUILT. So all this reporting to Facebook will be in vain, because what we are building there CAN NOT be torn down. But it will have to be a community effort. We will charge a nominal fee of $9.99 per year for site upkeep. In closing, trolls have done me a favor. They have reminded me of the tremendous support we have built over the years from people, like me, who REFUSE to be silenced. You BW haters have BlackMenVent, and TheColi, etc. Our light will shine on OUR space, so all this effort you’re putting into destroying our community is only galvanizing us to make it stronger and iron-clad protected. You have won NOTHING.

But I need you help. If you really care about this community, you have to FIGHT for it, same as I am.

Here’s the summary of the campaign:

Many of you are aware that the original Beyond Black & White Facebook fan was disbanded by a group of haters who organized to unrightfully flag and report all of our posts so that we would be booted over sheer quantity of complaints. We now have a new page, but we are STILL under attack. People are coming to our page SPECIFICALLY to intigate fights so that they can run to report hate speech to Facebook. Make no mistake, these people don’t want to silence the fan page solely, they want to silence our entire message. They DO NOT want us to talk about how black women should maximize their options dating interracially. They DON’T want us to talk about the victimization and exploitation of black women by perpetrators in our OWN communities. They DO NOT want us to talk about the rampant out-of-wedlock rate and how it leaves black women vulnerable and mired in poverty. They DO NOT want us to talk about how some segments of the community are hell-bend on black women being the mules of the race and to never desire and deign to rise above their station.

The only hope we have of protection against these attacks is to insulate ourselves in communities that we OWN. Facebook is a “rental,” and we can be evicted at any time, for unjust cause and false accusations. With our forum, no one can come in a take away the community, support, personal stories and essential coversations we have in our community. We can not let them win. First, Beyond Black & White, and then watch all of your favorite black female empowerment pages be attacked and disappear. Make no mistake–we’re all in danger.

We did an estimate of costs for the forum…approximately $1,000.

Domain name and hosting: $41.88
Puchase of forum software: $250.00
Graphic Design and layout: $300.00
Labor cost of web person: $60.00 per hour

So I’m asking for your help to keep our space sacred. Any little bit helps. Let’s go!

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Is Greg Orman the future of American politics? http://www.beyondblackwhite.com/greg-orman-future-american-politics/ http://www.beyondblackwhite.com/greg-orman-future-american-politics/#comments Thu, 09 Oct 2014 15:26:37 +0000 http://www.beyondblackwhite.com/?p=33441 by Dani NBC News has called him “the most interesting man in politics this November.” Newly released polls show Greg Orman (I) leading long-time Kansas Senator Pat Roberts (R) by seven points, a few weeks before Election Day. Roberts, who survived a scathing Republican primary against a Tea party candidate, initially seemed surprised by the […]

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by Dani

NBC News has called him “the most interesting man in politics this November.”

Newly released polls show Greg Orman (I) leading long-time Kansas Senator Pat Roberts (R) by seven points, a few weeks before Election Day. Roberts, who survived a scathing Republican primary against a Tea party candidate, initially seemed surprised by the surge of support for the little known businessman, who has previously identified as both Republican and Democrat. Orman’s website indicates a mish-mash of policy positions, ranging from supporting background checks at gun shows to term limits to adoption of a territorial tax system. He seems most passionate about campaign finance reform.

On running for the U.S. Senate as an independent, Orman said, “I didn’t feel like either party fit me well as someone who is fiscally responsible and socially tolerant.” Likewise, younger voters are choosing not to identify with a political party, with nearly 50% of Millennials describing themselves as independents (though they tend to vote Democratic).

If this trend holds, both as millennials age and with the next generation (as yet unnamed), then America’s troubled two party system could very well begin to unravel over the couple of decades. For me personally, I’m sick of economic ignorance on the left and social intolerance on the right. Both seem perpetuated by rigid, “all or nothing” party line ideology where defectors are “punished” in the next election cycle (as opposed to issue by issue coalitions). Maybe a rise of the independents will get America to where we can move past partisan, lockstep gridlock and toward issue based solutions.

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A Picture Says 1000 Words… http://www.beyondblackwhite.com/picture-say-1000-words/ http://www.beyondblackwhite.com/picture-say-1000-words/#comments Sat, 04 Oct 2014 05:13:25 +0000 http://www.beyondblackwhite.com/?p=33759 I took this screenshot of the individuals arrested during protests in Ferguson. This picture is poignant on so many levels that I really don’t need to add any commentary. But I WILL ask this question: Can you recall a time when “the brothers” were gathered in the courthouse, arrested on behalf of a black woman […]

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I took this screenshot of the individuals arrested during protests in Ferguson. This picture is poignant on so many levels that I really don’t need to add any commentary.

But I WILL ask this question: Can you recall a time when “the brothers” were gathered in the courthouse, arrested on behalf of a black woman being victimized?

I’ll wait.

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Do We Give Female Domestic Violence Abusers a Pass? http://www.beyondblackwhite.com/give-female-domestic-violence-abusers-pass/ http://www.beyondblackwhite.com/give-female-domestic-violence-abusers-pass/#comments Thu, 02 Oct 2014 04:55:22 +0000 http://www.beyondblackwhite.com/?p=33743 In the last few weeks there has been a lot of uproar about domestic violence in the light of the Ray Rice scandal and others as well. Professional soccer player Hope Solo is being charged with domestic violence (she assaulted her sister and her nephew) but she is still actively playing her sport and she […]

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society, culture, rage, angry black woman, health, emotional health, hostility, depression, abuse, reflection, perception, patience, rage, disorders, therapy

In the last few weeks there has been a lot of uproar about domestic violence in the light of the Ray Rice scandal and others as well. Professional soccer player Hope Solo is being charged with domestic violence (she assaulted her sister and her nephew) but she is still actively playing her sport and she is confident she will be aquitted. I cannot stress enough how important it is to hold men accountable for their abusive ways  against women, my concern when it comes to domestic violence and violence in general is WHY is it that we as women (and society at large) are quick to want to see the heads of violent men on a platter but are strangely silent when it comes to violence and abuse at the hands of women.. Just because we as women may not be able to utilize the same physical strength when it comes to violence does not mean that we are not capable of violent behavior ourselves. We have other ways of doing serious damage that leaves no forensic evidence many times. It is a sad thing in our society that many times abusive and violent women get a pass and we provide all kinds of excuses for her behavior regardless of the actions she has done or we just simply ignore it.

In my personal experience throughout my life I have experienced more violent expression at the hands of other females that I ever have a man (Even on my FB page). When I was in school all the way up until I graduated, the most violent aggressive behavior I ever saw coming at me or other young teenage girls was at the hands of other teenage girls!! I had a few skirmishes with the boys but those were no more than just foolish words and teasing, the girls were the ones that made my life and  the lives of many other girls hell not only because they could be mean spirited but could get violent and many times did. And again I and note hypocrisy that we will express outrage even as grown women if we hear a story on the news about a quarterback or two in high school who sexually assaulted young girl, but we will say nothing or hardly anything if that same teenage girl is ganged up on in a bathroom and bullied or beaten up by a bunch of insecure females sometimes simply because “she thinks she’s cute”.
We have no problem rejoicing over a man sent to prison for murdering his pregnant wife or girlfriend, but express sympathy or silence for woman who repeatedly runs over her husband with her Mercedes when she found that he was cheating on her (True story). She was “distraught” we justify. She beats the crap out of her kids? “Maybe she was stressed”, we justify. Same goes for things like pedophilia, we want that 35-year-old male math teacher castrated and locked up for sleeping with his 14-year-old female student but that 30-year-old female history teacher who was sleeping with her 15-year-old male student? She was just confused and lonely. And we never call her a pedophile which is what she is. We may express a little disgust at her but we certainly don’t riot in the streets and twitter it to death. She may even get her wedding to her now grown lover covered on Entertainment Tonight (Mary Lay Letourneau) and we don’t bat an eye.

If we are going to have this discussion, then we have to cover all the ground. I am not looking for “fairness” as much as I am unbiased accountability when it comes to things like this. We have plenty of stories about violent men, here are some quotes from people who have suffered DV at the hands of women:

“My friend had an abusive wife who hit him and kicked him in the balls. He called the cops and while he waited for them outside, she grabbed her own throat and squeezed hard and long enough to make a mark. Nobody noticed the mark was the same size as her tiny hand, they simply took her crying word for it & whisked him off to jail. He had to take a plea for domestic violence even though she didn’t want to charge him.”

“I’m a six foot one twenty two stone biker with military history and a vicious streak…
But only for other men…
I lived with a violent woman for too many years and she pushed me into a breakdown simply because the evil bitch knew I wouldn’t hit her on principle of being a real man…
Real men DONT hit women”

“Women are just as capable of violence as men. No one stepped to the man’s aid because no one thought he was in danger – because no one takes women seriously as a threat.”

“I never hit her back, but I was forced to restrain her a few times when she came at me with a knife all drunk or jumped on top of me and proceeded to punch me in the face continuously. I shoved her off of me once And she cut her foot on something real bad, but I had to because she WAS attacking me with a big heavy glass ashtray. needless to say I left her.”

“She spanked us without warning and pitted my sister and I against each other,” said the 45-year-old, who now works in a recording studio. “She was very clever at using emotional abuse to get my sister and I to do what she wanted. The two emotions I remember growing up were fear and obligation.”

“Pamela, now 52 and the mother of two, remembers her mother screaming that she hated the children, threatening to leave and never come back. “We formed a human chain against the door but she threw us to the side and left getting in her car and driving away.”

Pamela doesn’t know how long her mother was gone, but the “record player of her hateful words still play in my mind.”

According to the Centers For Disease Control and Prevention, an estimated 56 percent of all abusers — physical, mental and sexual — are women, The most common form is psychological. “Neglect and emotional abuse are every bit as damaging as sexual abuse.”, said Dr. Phillip Muskin, professor of clinical psychiatry at Columbia University. With these numbers, why are not women held to the same level of accountability  as men when it comes to abuse? Is it because many women are good at not showing evidence? Or manipulating the circumstances in their favor like one of the women above who squeezed her own neck to lie to the police to hide her assault against her boyfriend? I remember a girl I went to school with, a classic mean girl. She was an “A” student, student body president and the teachers loved her, but when the teachers and administrators were not looking, she was a monster. It was very hard to address her behavior because the teachers just could not “believe” she would do such things. I suspect that is how a lot of women get away with things as well because we as a society just cannot believe women the “frail flowers” they are capable of such manifestations of violence. A colleague of mine, a victim of bullying as a youth (female) had this to say:

“…in general females try to cover their tracks using the tendency of people to not believe that girls can be violent to their advantage.”

Many women complain about not being equal with men, but I think that’s more about the paycheck and the bigger corner office because when it comes to accountability about our own potential violent or abusive behavior we’re not as loud about it as we are with men. Somehow we justify it because their physical strength manifests the bruises and black eyes( and believe me when I tell you I am not excusing that behavior) but somehow we just can’t bring ourselves to be as outraged when a woman poisons her husband or boyfriend to death because there are no physical signs of bruising on his body or beats her children out of the house (literally). We operate in hypocrisy in the name of selective outrage. Why? Do we somehow believe in our minds that women simply are incapable of being dangerously violent on the same level as men? Or because statistically  the numbers are not that huge (so we think) so therefore it is not an issue.

We get pissed off at men who respond to our reactions to things by saying we are “hormonal” or “emotional” etc. How DARE they? But when our a** is on the line in regards to being held accountable just like the man for our outrageous behavior, then all of a sudden our va-jay-jays matter as well our hormones and emotions. we talk all day long about wanting to be equal with men and be a part of the boys club but funny we don’t want the accountability when we are caught like the men. Then come the tears and the pleas for “understanding” “I’m a girl,” we whine.

I am not bashing my own gender I am calling for accountability. BELIEVE ME I am very aware that globally women are the main victims of violence on all levels. What  I am addressing is the focus we give on the GENDER of the aggressor. A man hits a woman? We are pissed and we want his head.  A woman hits another woman or a man? Not so much. in fact if it is on a reality show we whip out the popcorn and enjoy the show.  Truthfully, when women are violent against men, it is met with humor and ridicule. “He is weak, he is a punk,” we say to ourselves never taking her violent behavior seriously but if that same guy rises to defend himself against her, he is the monster even if she is the aggressor in the altercation. After all he is supposed to exercise full self control and she is absolved of such a requirement because after all, she is a girl.

I’m a woman myself and as I said I don’t give men a pass, their mess goes without saying but I think we unfairly decide what denotes being violent. We automatically cosign against the violence if we see footage of a man beating his girlfriend unconscious or to death and we hashtag all about it, but what about a cancer research scientist whose lover refuses to dump his other girlfriend so she poisons his coffee in an attempt to kill him? (a true story trending in the news right now) SILENCE. Or a woman beats her kids almost to death? SILENCE. When the molester is a female? SILENCE. A female athlete assaults family members? SILENCE. When the bullies are girls? SILENCE. Yet when that same code of silence runs rampant in the NFL and other male dominated arenas on the matter, then we find our voices and verbalize quite loudly the outrage.

A member of my family was a victim of domestic violence as little girl along with her siblings but do you know the abuser was? Her MOTHER not her father. This lovely wife of a minister did this 50 to 60 years ago and she hid her violence under a slew of religious service and public performance. The community adored her, what a wonderful woman she was, but at home her kids knew a different person that had them terrified. She could not leave or escape and had to endure that abuse until she joined the military at the age of 17.

When it comes to domestic violence we always talk about the men but never the women and if we are going to have this discussion about violent behavior and we are going to be outraged, then we need to be outraged on both sides of the fence no matter who’s doing the hitting or the killing and stop using our va-jay jays conveniently as an EXCUSE to not be held fully accountable.

Bruises, injuries and death are not gender specific.

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