Beyond Black & White » Relationships http://www.beyondblackwhite.com Chronicles, Musings and Debates about Interracial & Intercultural Relationships Fri, 24 Oct 2014 15:09:50 +0000 en-US hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=4.0 From Uganda to Serbia, Rose Bugarčić’s Incredible Journey http://www.beyondblackwhite.com/uganda-serbia-rose-bugarcics-incredible-journey/ http://www.beyondblackwhite.com/uganda-serbia-rose-bugarcics-incredible-journey/#comments Fri, 24 Oct 2014 15:09:50 +0000 http://www.beyondblackwhite.com/?p=32172 From Uganda to Serbia, Rose Bugarčić’s Incredible Journey   Decision on employment presented by the Minister Ivica Dacic (Photo A. Vasiljevic)   Rose Bugarčić I am happy with the title of “SwirlQueen” bequeathed to me by BB&W founder Mrs. Christelyn Karazin.  It suits me well.  However these days I feel more like a “Swirl Huntress”.  […]

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From Uganda to Serbia, Rose Bugarčić’s Incredible Journey

 

Rose BugarčićDecision on employment presented by the Minister Ivica Dacic (Photo A. Vasiljevic)

 

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Rose Bugarčić

I am happy with the title of “SwirlQueen” bequeathed to me by BB&W founder Mrs. Christelyn Karazin.  It suits me well.  However these days I feel more like a “Swirl Huntress”.  I scour the Internet and all corners of the world to find black woman interracial marriage and relationships.   Last year I found Rose In 2011 Rosa Josiah Mirembe Abbott Bugarčić or simply Rose, became the first black woman to be appointed to the Serbian government, specifically the Ministry of Internal Affairs. Originally from Uganda, is married to Serbian Zivko Bugarčić and they live with their 3 children in Belgrade. Minister Ivica Dacic officially charged Rose with the challenge to resolve issues mainly because of her expertise in European integration. She felt the need to do her part and contribute to Serbia’s application to the European Union.  I don’t know Rose, but I am awfully proud of her.   She must have overcome tremendous odds to achieve such lofty status.  Hat’s off to you Minister Bugarčić!

 

FoNet-DAÈIÆ-BUGARÈIÆ

 

 

Originally from Uganda, Rose graduated with an Agriculture degree there in 1994. She went to the Netherlands to a seminar on new technologies in potato cultivation where she met her future husband Zivko. They traveled to Uganda to meet her family, and from there they went to Guca, Serbia where Zivko was born and met his family. The couple and their children have lived in Serbia for the last 15 years.

 

Zivko and Rose met in the Netherlands

Zivko and Rose met in the Netherlands.

 

When asked what she thought about living in Serbia, Rose thinks it is very nice. But there was the issue of the weather. Rose did not leave the house during the first two Winters when they lived in Gucci. She could not get used to the cold. So they just kept fires going. It was also a challenge to Rose tying to master Serbian so Zivko served as her translator. But before too long, Rose learned to speak Serbian fluently. And she even learned the Cyrillic alphabet so well that she was able to read Politika, a newspaper. The children, who are Afro-Serbian speak Serbian and English but unfortunately don’t know too much of their mother’s native tongue. Rose relinquished her Ugandan citizenship preferring to become a naturalized citizen of Serbia.

 

Rose Bugarčić with children - Nicholas, Mary and Alexander

Rose Bugarčić with children – Nicholas, Mary and Alexander

 

 

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OMG…Matthew Hussey Gives the Most BRILLIANT Advice on How to Get the Guy to Make a Move! http://www.beyondblackwhite.com/omg-matthew-hussey-gives-brilliant-advice-get-guy-make-move/ http://www.beyondblackwhite.com/omg-matthew-hussey-gives-brilliant-advice-get-guy-make-move/#comments Thu, 23 Oct 2014 04:41:04 +0000 http://www.beyondblackwhite.com/?p=34148 He just keeps nailing it over and over. Matthew Hussey gives you REAL techniques in which you can implement to get immediate results. How many of you have written me about how non-black men stare buy won’t make a move? You see them staring at you–you know they are checking you out with all your […]

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He just keeps nailing it over and over. Matthew Hussey gives you REAL techniques in which you can implement to get immediate results.

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How many of you have written me about how non-black men stare buy won’t make a move? You see them staring at you–you know they are checking you out with all your hotness, grace, and beauty. But they DON’T approach! Opportunity after opportunity passes which can leave you frustrated. You don’t want to be the first to make a move–you’re an old fashioned girl who believes men should take the lead on that.

Ladies, you MUST look at this video for a sure-fire technique…

Now no excuses girls! This is brilliant!!

If you like what you see here, Matthew Hussey has an entire video series on how to take charge of your love life. It’s amazing. To learn more, click here.

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Could What Ralph Richard Banks Said in His Book Be True Regarding How Swirling Might Help Black Women Marry Black Men? http://www.beyondblackwhite.com/ralph-richard-banks-said-book-true-regarding-swirling-might-help-black-women-marry-black-men/ http://www.beyondblackwhite.com/ralph-richard-banks-said-book-true-regarding-swirling-might-help-black-women-marry-black-men/#comments Thu, 23 Oct 2014 03:30:21 +0000 http://www.beyondblackwhite.com/?p=34142 If you haven’t yet read Is Marriage for White People, by professor Ralph Richard Banks, you might want to pick it up. He gives a cogent argument for why black women should date out, and how doing so might actually help them find quality black husbands by creating a demand where there was a surplus. […]

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If you haven’t yet read Is Marriage for White People, by professor Ralph Richard Banks, you might want to pick it up. He gives a cogent argument for why black women should date out, and how doing so might actually help them find quality black husbands by creating a demand where there was a surplus.

At center, Stanford law professor Ralph Richard Banks with his wife Jennifer Eberhardt, left, and his sons, from right, Ebbie, 13, Harlan, 8, and Everett, 9, at their home in Palo Alto on Thursday, September 1, 2011. Banks, who is African American, wrote the book "Is Marriage For White People?" (LiPo Ching/Mercury News).

At center, Stanford law professor Ralph Richard Banks with his wife Jennifer Eberhardt, left, and his sons, from right, Ebbie, 13, Harlan, 8, and Everett, 9, at their home in Palo Alto on Thursday, September 1, 2011. Banks, who is African American, wrote the book “Is Marriage For White People?” (LiPo Ching/Mercury News).

Could we finally see a return of “the black family” where the wife isn’t a mule and the husband provides and protects his wife and children like Professor Banks does?

 

I just got a really nice note on my You Tube channel that might indicate that the professor might be on to something. Take a look at this exchange:

The Guy:

Hello Ms. Karazin first i would like to say, you are a very smart and beautiful woman with alot on your mind…lol, some people may disagree but you are entitled to have your own mind and feelings. If i may though i wanna say something to you and other black women and i hope that what i say will make sense. I’m a young 36 year old business man, single and without any children right now but plan on having a family one day soon. I love all people and don’t have anything against interracial dating, my mother is a very proud black woman with different ethnic backgrounds but her and my dad raised me to know self and be strong as a man. With that being said i think its important to know that we black men who are positive really do love and need black women. I know some of us have been disappointing to some of you but we as a race of men have overcome alot and will continue.When i started my business there where people who were very passive towards me due to me being a black man. But their not passive now because i will soon be able to buy them out of what they own. There are alot of black men who are doing good and taking care of business. My friend who is black and the same age as i will be soon the youngest mayor of a major city. And his cousin will run for governor. The reason i’m telling you this is because i don’t want you all to give up on us. I make it my business to speak to the younger generation of black men who are from the hardest neighborhoods you can imagine. Some of them have seen male friends and relatives killed before their very eyes all under 20 years old. They shared their feelings with me and some felt they would not make it to their 21st birthday. You see it is not enough for us as black established men to progress and look away,we have to start doing as men and a people work in our community.I love black women and i feel that you all are some of the most beautiful creatures on this earth. The add health study said that the first study concerning what race of women were the most and least desired was inaccurate and did another study and found out indeed what black men have been knowing all along. That black women are indeed the most desired along with white women in the western part of the world. Having said that we black men who are positive do love and appreciate you all and statistics show 80% of us are still dating and marring you. I’m not saying i’m against interracial dating but i’m also saying i love black love. We have to learn to love each other more and work out our own issues as a people, and its gonna take black men and women. If we don’t have the love and support of our own community of women then it’s gonna become even harder for us. Remember they said there would never be a black president and with the love and support of his wife we now have one.Do not give up on us, we love and need you all very very much. Peace and Love.

My Response:

Thank you for your comment. But understand; I know men like you are out there. The problem is, there’s not nearly ENOUGH men out there like you, and so black women who have “black love” dreams fight tooth and nail for you all, and you lap it up like no other. IBM’s are marrying much later, expecting BW to jump through fiery hoops and compete with women of all races just to so you can call them the “girlfriend,” let alone the WIFE. Listen, you sound like a really nice guy. I’m happy you have done so well for yourself. But let’s not deny that men of your stature are enjoying their position as the “most coveted.” Not to mention that men of your “caliber” often drift to the lightest woman with the waviest hair who can just slip by as black as your trophy, and us “regular black chicks” are stuck with “whatever we can get.” The studies prove this out. Lighter skinned black women are more likely to be married than their darker skinned counterparts. But who needs a study for that? Just look around. Look…I love black love, and I love seeing loving and functional black families. But the difference is that I’m not encouraging black women to hang all hope on that ideal when the likelihood is low. There’s empowerment in knowing you have options. And finally, you “good brothers” have been criminally negligent in reigning in all the hate that your thug brothers spew, and now it looks like they’re finally messing things up for you guys.

His Final Response:

+Christelyn Karazin I understand every thing you just said but i must let you know that alot of us black men don’t care what your color tone is. I’m light skinned and love darker women as most light skinned black men do. You do have the darker brothers that like light skinned women as well but all are a matter of preference. I think women like Gabrielle Union, Megan Good and yourself are beautiful. I love black women’s diversity in hair and color. Also what you said is true about our fellow black brothers who carries that thug exterior.They have made it harder for us positive black men to the point where some black women see us all as being the same. We positive black men are now in this society paying for other men’s sins and it’s not fair nor right,but that’s why men like myself wanna make sure that we help black men even the more improve.I will say that watching videos where black women are speaking as though all of us are bad is really hurtful and alot of other black men are feeling it as well, maybe this is a wake up call for some of our men. I don’t have anything against you because whether you all are bashing us or not i will always love black women and that’s how alot of us feel. All women are beautiful but for me there is one woman, a black woman. I feel that there is no other woman who understands me like a black woman. Trust me when i say Ms. Karazin we positive black men are getting ready to step up and speak out on behalf of black women and change our community. And you all won’t feel as though you have to look outside for love in order to receive love. I’m sorry if you and other black women have felt abandoned, hurt, disappointed, and wasn’t told enough how beautiful you are by some black men, but let me leave you with this, if you all are approached by a good black man give him a chance to love you and cherish you the way that your meant to be loved and cherished. Alot of us brothers are definitely up for the job. I wish you much happiness beautiful Queen.

———————–

Could it be that the quality, high-value IBM’s are looking around and realizing the jig is up? Honestly, if it means black women can reassert some value within the black community, I’m all for it. I just wish the numbers added up. They don’t.

What do you this ladies? Is their a shift happening, or is it too little, too late? As a quality woman I was passed over regularly for the lighter women with straighter hair. Didn’t matter how fit I was, how smart and sweet I was, how much I loved to cook and wanted to be a wife and mother with a black man who was my equal, it never happened. But I went on to take that skill set to a the men who could and would appreciate it.

But heed this warning, ladies new to swirling. Don’t date outside your race because you really just want a black man and you want to manipulate him into wanting you. It’s not likely to end well for you.

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On Vetting: How Men Run Game By Telling the Truth! http://www.beyondblackwhite.com/vetting-men-run-game-telling-truth/ http://www.beyondblackwhite.com/vetting-men-run-game-telling-truth/#comments Mon, 20 Oct 2014 05:07:26 +0000 http://www.beyondblackwhite.com/?p=34041 So why do they do this? Basically to have guilt-free sex, says my buddy, Jordan Harbinger, co-founder of The Art of Charm. “Men make up their minds pretty quickly about what kind of relationship he wants in a girl. Guys do it subconsciously. We say, this girl is kind of hot and kinda slutty, but […]

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So why do they do this? Basically to have guilt-free sex, says my buddy, Jordan Harbinger, co-founder of The Art of Charm. “Men make up their minds pretty quickly about what kind of relationship he wants in a girl. Guys do it subconsciously. We say, this girl is kind of hot and kinda slutty, but I’m not thinking that she’s the kind of girl I ultimately deserve.”

 

Common phrases “truth-telling-gamers” use…

I’m not looking for a relationship, but if I were, she’s be someone like you. (Special emphasis on “like”)

You’re so sweet. I’m such a jerk about not being ready for all this love!

Why are you wasting your time being so amazing to me, when you could be out there getting any guy you want?

No matter how sweetly he says it, it all translates to one thing: HE’S NOT INTO YOU.

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Young Girl Needs Our Guidance: 15 Year-Old-Girl, Only Interested in Men 26-50. http://www.beyondblackwhite.com/young-girl-needs-guidance-15-year-old-girl-interested-men-26-50/ http://www.beyondblackwhite.com/young-girl-needs-guidance-15-year-old-girl-interested-men-26-50/#comments Thu, 16 Oct 2014 21:13:51 +0000 http://www.beyondblackwhite.com/?p=34020 Got this note from a girl last night… Hi Christelyn, My name is “Sammy” (not her real name). I recently subscribed to your channel. Im a 15 yr old black female. I do consider myself very bright and outgoing. I take challenging ap and dual enrollment classes. I mostly take interest older white men.(typically 26-50) […]

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Got this note from a girl last night…

Hi Christelyn, My name is “Sammy” (not her real name). I recently subscribed to your channel. Im a 15 yr old black female. I do consider myself very bright and outgoing. I take challenging ap and dual enrollment classes. I mostly take interest older white men.(typically 26-50) Yes MEN. Not that I dont like boys my age, I just have a strong attraction towards older men. Instead of gazing at the boys, im drooling over the teachers. I do have a father in my life, although growing up, Its been more than clear that my mother has done most of the work in our lives. Buying clothes, paying bills, and food. We never really had a typical father daughter relationship depicted in tv land. Our relationship is just there. I do seem to like boys my age but they dont seem interested it black girls, they seem to just make a mockery of us and our culture. (Using culture in the context of a way of living.) So just seeing all of that, Ive become numb to dating or liking guys my age and have sticked to lusting over older men. Is there something wrong with this? Please get back to me.

Portrait  of happy youngs african american teenage girl

This letter is disturbing to me on several levels, Sammy. I have a daughter who is almost 17 years-old, and while she is mature and poised for her age, I would never accept her seeing a grown man in his twenties, let alone his fifties! He’d be under the jail if he was still drawing breath. Listen honey, I know you probably think you’re an “old soul” and seem to be more attracted and can relate to older men, but that’s a false reality in which I’ll explain in a moment.

At 15, you’ve just begun your path to adulthood. You’re still in puberty and your brain is not fully developed. You are not yet a fully actualized person that knows the world or has experienced many events that a man of 26+ has already done. What is more, any quality man from 26-50 will never touch you. It could mean jail time, a wrap sheet as a sex offender, and a loss of livelihood. I would go so far to say that any older man interested in you with full knowledge of your age will be a danger to you.

Now is the time for me to shrink your head. You mention that your father is around, but is very disconnected from you–almost as if he’s not there at all. I suspect your desire for older men is your mind’s way of reconciling and healing your hurt over your father not being fully plugged into your life.

Now when you’re of age (over 18) you can legally date any man in the age range you prefer, but even then, chances are the a man who seeks out a girl a decade or more younger than her in the crucial early years of adulthood may have problems relating to women his own age, because of some deficit in his character or maturity level.

You also need to get some healing. Your heart is hungry of the warm and love of a father, and many girls in your situation are willing to swap a sexual relationship with a man to achieve that end, even for a fleeting moment. It’s very important that you talk to someone in your circle you can trust. Doesn’t have to be your mom, but perhaps a trusted adult, like a teacher, aunt, or family friend. Whatever you do, don’t keep this to yourself. But I don’t want you to be in the position for being attacked for your feelings. You are completely innocent, and just trying to figure this life thing out.

Be well, and know this community is concerned about you.

Sincerely,

Chris

—–

Okay, so I’m opening up the gates to the wise men and women of BB&W. Any advice for this young girl?

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QOTW: “Why Are Black Women So Hesitant to Date and Marry Non-Black Men?” http://www.beyondblackwhite.com/qotw-black-women-hesitant-date-marry-non-black-men/ http://www.beyondblackwhite.com/qotw-black-women-hesitant-date-marry-non-black-men/#comments Wed, 15 Oct 2014 04:14:41 +0000 http://www.beyondblackwhite.com/?p=33977 The Question: ” Christelyn Karazin, I seriously think you should do a segment on why black women until recently where so hesitant to date and marry non-black men. I think this would get the message out there that black women are open to IRR and marriages and it would also give the white men and […]

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The Question: ”
Christelyn Karazin, I seriously think you should do a segment on why black women until recently where so hesitant to date and marry non-black men. I think this would get the message out there that black women are open to IRR and marriages and it would also give the white men and other non-black men a better understanding of why there has been this extreme loyalty among black women to black men regardless of the situation. There are still way too many white men who don’t think that black women are an option for them when it comes to dating and romance, all due to the NBABM (Nothing But a Black Man) stigma.”

He asked, I answered…

interracial couple

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