Beyond Black & White http://www.beyondblackwhite.com Chronicles, Musings and Debates about Interracial & Intercultural Relationships Thu, 17 May 2018 04:22:34 +0000 en-US hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=4.9.5 We Had to Do It. There Was Too Much Demand. http://www.beyondblackwhite.com/we-had-to-do-it-there-was-too-much-demand/ http://www.beyondblackwhite.com/we-had-to-do-it-there-was-too-much-demand/#comments Mon, 14 Aug 2017 17:44:31 +0000 http://www.beyondblackwhite.com/?p=43084 In the seven years since I started Beyond Black & White, published Swirling, and became the brand ambassador for InterracialDatingCentral.com, the demand for women requesting my advice in online dating has never been higher. I get emails every day from women who are looking to improve their romantic returns. Combine that with discouraging news about […]

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In the seven years since I started Beyond Black & White, published Swirling, and became the brand ambassador for InterracialDatingCentral.com, the demand for women requesting my advice in online dating has never been higher. I get emails every day from women who are looking to improve their romantic returns. Combine that with discouraging news about how black women fare on dating sites, and some of them feel absolutely hopeless.

Personal coaching of this kind takes time and money. Experts in the field report clients paying up to $3,000 a month for help with their profile, writing emails and instant messages, and help with their online presence. I’m qualified to be one of those experts, but I choose to reach a wider group in a demographic I’m deeply invested in: black women. I’ve been personally responsible for many marriages and romantic pairings through the years, but it’s time to do more.

https://youtu.be/JtRXOCgv_-Y

For the first (and maybe only) time, I’ll be hosting a one-day course, Online Dating: Decoded, on Saturday, August 26, 7PM EST. I can only accept 100 people, and many have already signed up. Here’s the agenda:

–Get Your Mind Right: Develop a Winning Online Persona
–Elements of a good ID name
–How to prepare an effective and enticing online profile using scientific research
–How to prep yourself for pictures with the right makeup, scenery, mannerisms, colors and poses
–Interview with world-class dating expert
–Rewrite of 5 participants online dating profile to put theory to practice
–FREE copy of the guide, Online Dating: Glamorously.
–Open forum and Q & A

I can only accept 100 women to this conference. The slots for the first five participants in which I will highlight, dissect and improve have already been filled. This happened in less than 24 hours. There’s still slot left and you still have an opportunity to participate in the Q & A session at the end. If you can’t make the live event, the call will be recorded and you will still receive a copy of Online Dating: Glamorously.

Requirements:

–You MUST have an active Facebook page
–Phone and internet connection required

Register under the link button below. Space is filling fast.



Follow Christelyn on Instagram and Twitter, and subscribe to our You Tube channel. And if you want to be a little more about this online dating thing, InterracialDatingCentral is the official dating site for this blog

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The Four Letter Word that Makes Your Online Profile Irresistible http://www.beyondblackwhite.com/four-letter-word-makes-online-profile-irresistible/ http://www.beyondblackwhite.com/four-letter-word-makes-online-profile-irresistible/#comments Thu, 29 Jun 2017 17:32:42 +0000 http://www.beyondblackwhite.com/?p=42837 I get countless letters from young women who claim to have terrible luck when it comes to online dating. What’s puzzling is, upon review of their online profiles, I see that they’re attractive women, and accomplished in their own right. But there’s one thing that missing from all of them. A certain “zest” a certain […]

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I get countless letters from young women who claim to have terrible luck when it comes to online dating. What’s puzzling is, upon review of their online profiles, I see that they’re attractive women, and accomplished in their own right. But there’s one thing that missing from all of them. A certain “zest” a certain playfulness and “come catch me” vibe.

Using myself as an example of the “regular non-exotic looking black woman,” do you think this profile picture, which highlights my face, my style, and my body, would get a second look? Do you think the potential suitor would look at me and wonder, “what’s her story?” Every woman has a “story.” Make the men online wonder what yours is.

Remember, you’re competing with tens of thousands of women of all races in your geographical area. There are so man (too many sometimes) choices that one glance then a swipe can make or break it.

Some of you also need to consider your location. You live in the middle of nowhere and then wonder why no one you like hits you up. Expanding your geographical dating radius is essential in these situations. You’re going to have to bite the bullet and be willing to jump in your car and meet halfway. Plus, you’d be surprised how far a man will travel once he’s got his sights set on you. But you guy needs to see that you exist!

We’ll be discussing this and other issues soon in the future in our mini-booklet, Online Dating: Glamorously. Make sure you sign up for our mailing list to be the first to receive it!

https://youtu.be/G9OnCpVPocs

Follow Christelyn on Instagram and Twitter, and subscribe to our You Tube channel. And if you want to be a little moreabout this online dating thing, InterracialDatingCentral is the official dating site for this blog. 

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Dating: 6 Things You Can Do to Increase Your Chances of Meeting “The One” http://www.beyondblackwhite.com/dating-6-things-can-increase-chances-meeting-one/ http://www.beyondblackwhite.com/dating-6-things-can-increase-chances-meeting-one/#comments Thu, 08 Jun 2017 12:46:24 +0000 http://www.beyondblackwhite.com/?p=42723 While online dating has changed the game, it’s not for everyone. Some of you prefer some alternatives. Here’s a few tips on how get your dating game going offline and IRL. Your place of work: If you’re college educated this is relatively easy. But even if you’re not, you can pull this off, but with a […]

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While online dating has changed the game, it’s not for everyone. Some of you prefer some alternatives. Here’s a few tips on how get your dating game going offline and IRL.

  • Your place of work: If you’re college educated this is relatively easy. But even if you’re not, you can pull this off, but with a little extra effort. For example, working at a man’s retail shop in a fancy part of town, waitressing or hostessing at a high end restaurant, or working at an exclusive gym are all possible options.

  • Education: If you’re pursuing higher education, attending exclusive private or public schools will allow you to meet people from a variety of backgrounds and races, and is an amazing networking opportunity that you may never again in your life have…so take advantage of it! You don’t even have to bury yourself in debt..lots of colleges and universities have job enrichment courses full of (mostly) gainfully employed people, and hey! while you’re hanging around campus anyway, why not go to the coffee shop or hang out at the quad and…see what you can see? Or better yet, position yourself to be seen.
  • Volunteering and Charity Work: The higher classes us philanthropy as sort of a status, and banquets, parties, mixers and concerts revolve around their orbit. Volunteering at these events are an excellent opportunity to rub elbows with successful men of all races. It’s how Meghan Markle met Prince Harry! You get to do good, look good, and meet good people. So what not good about that?! At the very least, it’s an opportunity to beef up your resume.

  • Attend Charity Events Yourself: No need to drop thousands for a place at the table–if you look, there may be a lot of affordable events open to the public that are fun and give you access to exclusive circles. These events give you an opportunity to dress up and try out your networking and mingling skills, and meet people you might not otherwise. If you can afford a pair of $50 shoes, you can afford to drop the same amount to gain access to high caliber men, can’t you?

 

  • Subscribe to your local paper. This is an often overlooked, but essential part of keeping abreast of the events and powerful movers and shakers in your area. It’s also a great resource in which to draw topics of conversation when making small talk with new people, or on a date with a potential mate.

 

  • Take up sports that attract a lot of men, like golf, sailing, skiing and snow boarding. I was amazed at the amount of single men available at the resort when my husband and I took our kids to hit the slopes for the first time. Even better–you have to at least be gainfully employed for such activities, because they’re not cheap. If you don’t have the skills, take classes and maybe pop by the bar with your cute ski, golf, or sundress and mingle a bit before you leave. You’ll have plenty to talk about, and you can play the “damsel in distress” who needs a few extra pointers by a handsome man (haha).

 

Follow Christelyn on Instagram and Twitter, and subscribe to our You Tube channel. And if you want to be a little more serious about this online dating thing, InterracialDatingCentral is the official dating site for this blog.

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Climb Those Walls! Toby Macguire Seen Kissing a Sista http://www.beyondblackwhite.com/climb-walls-toby-macguire-seen-kissing-sista/ http://www.beyondblackwhite.com/climb-walls-toby-macguire-seen-kissing-sista/#comments Sat, 17 Dec 2016 00:20:58 +0000 http://www.beyondblackwhite.com/?p=41736 I love this little bit of cheeky news, because I’ve always like Toby Maguire–he has that nerdy/sexy thing happening. Sorry about his recent divorce, but I’ll have to admit the paparazzi stalking this couple making out on the street was damn hot! Let’s not get too excited here, though, little ones. Sometimes a kiss is […]

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I love this little bit of cheeky news, because I’ve always like Toby Maguire–he has that nerdy/sexy thing happening. Sorry about his recent divorce, but I’ll have to admit the paparazzi stalking this couple making out on the street was damn hot!

Let’s not get too excited here, though, little ones. Sometimes a kiss is just a kiss. He appears to be in dire need of distraction.

‘As devoted parents, our first priority remains raising our children together with enduring love, respect and friendship.’

Tobey and Jennifer, 39, became engaged in April 2006 and tied the knot in September 2007.

They share two children, daughter Ruby, aged nine, and son Otis, seven.

The exes are said to have been separated since the beginning of summer, which seems likely as the Pleasantville star has been seen partying with Lionel Richie’s 18-year-old daughter Sofia and his pal Leonardo DiCaprio in recent months.

Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-4034600/Tobey-Maguire-caught-making-mystery-woman-just-two-months-split-Jennifer-Meyer.html#ixzz4T3AQe720
Follow us: @MailOnline on Twitter | DailyMail on Facebook

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Biracial Actress, Meghan Markle is Tied Romantically with Prince Harry. But… http://www.beyondblackwhite.com/biracial-actress-meghan-markle-tied-romantically-prince-harry/ http://www.beyondblackwhite.com/biracial-actress-meghan-markle-tied-romantically-prince-harry/#comments Wed, 02 Nov 2016 05:26:21 +0000 http://www.beyondblackwhite.com/?p=41474 A few of my fans have asked me to touch on all the gossip surrounding the reported budding romance between Prince Harry and actress, Meghan Markle. They wanted me to address it because some consider Meghan “black.” But one look at her and you know there’s something more there. At first sight, I didn’t see […]

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rs_1024x759-161030161526-1024-prince-harry-meghan-markle-2-kg-103016A few of my fans have asked me to touch on all the gossip surrounding the reported budding romance between Prince Harry and actress, Meghan Markle. They wanted me to address it because some consider Meghan “black.” But one look at her and you know there’s something more there.

meghan-markle-2

At first sight, I didn’t see any trace of African in her, and when I saw this video from People magazine, I got even more curious.

Don’t miss that the mini bio ONLY shows Markle’s father. Which led me to want to investigate further. I googled, “What race is Meghan Markle” and the first thing to show up was this:

screen-shot-2016-11-01-at-9-57-51-pm

So…why, then, did People magazine display a picture of Markle’s BLACK mother?? It was easy enough to find. Doria Ragland divorced Markle’s father when she was six. But a simply search found me this:

dsc_4165-meghan-markle-doria-radlan-e1426513042773

The media has in the past HIDDEN the spouses of white man who marry black women. Doesn’t seem to be so much of a big deal the other way around, however. It took eons for me to learn that Robert De Niro has always dated and married black women, and has several biracial children.

Another issue of concern to me is how quickly some black women are rushing to claim Marble as a “black woman matched with royalty.” This is wrong thinking, in my opinion. The One Drop Rule that has plagued the black community since slavery has been exceedingly damaging to all involved, and we as black women should not summon that racist doctrine when we believe it may benefit us. Markle is biracial, and has the right to claim ALL of what she is. As a mother of two biracial girls, I refuse to pound into them the notion that because I am black, that’s all they are also. People have a right to their identity, and to fully embrace all the DNA that created them.

My final thought on this is…will the royal family of England really embrace a woman with African American heritage? It’s been rumored that Markle has already met Harry’s father, Prince Charles. If that is indeed true, that holds some significance. As liberal as the isle of Great Britain seems, the highest class is loathe to sully all that lily whiteness. I’d be delighted to be wrong. Perhaps the family cares less because with the line of succession, it is unlikely that Prince Harry will ever be king.

What say you?

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Online Dating Photos: You as a Noun; You as a Verb http://www.beyondblackwhite.com/online-dating-photos-you-as-a-noun-you-as-a-verb/ http://www.beyondblackwhite.com/online-dating-photos-you-as-a-noun-you-as-a-verb/#comments Fri, 19 Feb 2016 04:35:12 +0000 http://www.beyondblackwhite.com/?p=39586 Online dating can be hit or miss. Some women have used the company I’ve endorsed for years, InterracialDatingCentral, and have gotten major success. Others seem to languish. Because first impressions are the only chance you’ll get online, the importance of a good photo is essential–especially since men are such visual creatures. Men will look at […]

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Online dating can be hit or miss. Some women have used the company I’ve endorsed for years, InterracialDatingCentral, and have gotten major success. Others seem to languish. Because first impressions are the only chance you’ll get online, the importance of a good photo is essential–especially since men are such visual creatures.

Men will look at a woman’s photo and often try to make assessment of their personality. Not smiling? “She might be bitchy.” Too much skin? “How many guys have she slept with?” Above the head selfie? “She’s hiding those extra 60 pounds.”

These decisions are often made in an instant, and the guy making those snap judgements might not even realize he’s doing it.

If online dating was a dessert, the photos would be cake and the profile the icing. It has to tell a story. And that story features you as the main character and will entail how good your ability is to communicate through pictures, you as a noun, and you as a verb.

What do I mean by “You as a noun?” This is your money picture. It needs to reflect the type of person you are. Fun? Playful? Nerdy? You as a noun have to reflect that through your photo. Take this example:

iStock_000070774973_Small

A noun is defined as a person, place or thing. The woman in this photo looks like she’s fun and feminine. She’s smiling, and her sunglasses aid to create a little mystery. She’s behind a colorful backdrop that really draws the eye in. It also shows off her figure in a tasteful way. An adjective describes this woman: Fun. Flirty. Easy going. Welcoming. Have two pictures of you as a noun–up close headshot and one body shot.

The other photo is you as a verb. This photo shows what you like to for fun and reflects the things you’re passionate about. Now this is very important, because the photos you show of living fabulously indicate that you have a life, and wanting a relationship is merely one aspect of life fulfillment.

Portrait Of Woman Sitting On Tree Trunk In Forest

You as a verb means you in action.

I’ll be discussing more about this in the upcoming months as, by popular demand, write a guidebook to online dating exclusively for black women. Let’s face it–we have some unique challenges when it comes to it, and I want to help you guys get all the tools to overcome them. In the meantime and if you haven’t already, check out my first book, Swirling: How to Date, Mate and Relate, Mixing Race, Culture and Creed.

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