Ah…the bathroom pic. I normally hate these, but he’s so scrum-delish I’ll let it slide.

He calls himself, “YoungTeach” because yes, at 26, he’s young, and works as a music teacher to a predominately African American student body in Southaven, Mississippi . He’s a newbie to interracial dating, and apparently read SWIRLING in two days. I love him already. Here’s what he wrote me yesterday:

I just received your message on my blog.  I must say, I’m flattered that you would contact me regardless of the situation.  I bought a digital copy of Swirling and read it in two days.  This was after spending hours on your blog, devouring as much as I could.  You, personally, have shaped much of my (albeit brand-new) outlook on the world of interracial dating; and, on the subject of black women in particular.  In fact, it was you who inspired me to start my own blog! 

Okay he’s in the will! I can not tell you how unbelievably fulfilling it is to know that you produced something that changes the course of someone’s life–even if it’s just their love life. It’s awesome sauce to the nth degree.

Here’s more about him. Single ladies, (especially our BB&W Staff) take some notes!

Well, I’m new to swirling, so I can’t provide a whole lot of insight just yet, but I can say that it’s interesting!  I’ve only gone on one “date,” technically.  It seems like the women I’ve spoken to are really interested right off the bat, and then cool off really quickly.  I’m not certain about the reasoning, just yet.  I think women are reluctant to start something that could potentially turn serious, as relates to interracial dating.  The first girl I met, and had a date with, I think was just interested in sex but wasn’t ready to admit that.  The second one was really interested one day, and then disappeared the next.  She was also twenty-two and looking to move soon, so she seemed to me to be a commitment-phobe.  I met another but we just spoke a bit, I gave her my number and haven’t heard from her since.

I’ve read that black women are reluctant to date white guys for many reasons, and I feel like those reasons are probably exacerbated by the complex racial climate in the South.  I’m actually getting just as much enjoyment out of discovering the subtleties and truths of interracial dating down here, as I am from the actual dating process!

All in all, I’m hopeful for myself and my future relationships but blogging is proving to be a fantastic outlet for my thoughts, which can get a bit disorganized and unreliable as far as positive information flow is concerned.

I’m open to any advice you may have, though I will certainly continue to be a BB&W reader.

Side note: The girls you work with are beautiful, and present such an intellectually unabashed front.  I can imagine that if there were a central office where everyone worked in close proximity, that would be a place I would enjoy to be in!

So check “YoungTeach” out before some southern belle snatches him up! Shout out to Brenda55 for bringing this cutie to my attention!

Because I want to hook ya’ll single folks up already, we are resuming the series, which has gone on the back burner because your host is overworked. But this is important, dammit!

So…

Potential Goddess and Hotties, email me at info@beyondblackwhite.com if you want to look this happy in photos.

From the sound of it, he’s every woman’s dream: he likes museums, cooking, long weekend trips, reading a good book and generally avoiding smoking and bars.

Jack has always had an attraction to black women, but as with many men of his generation, swirling was hard during the Stone Ages. (Just kidding). “I caved in to peer pressure in my younger days. Now I won’t. I have external support by people like you,” he told me. Jack, flattery will get you everywhere. Except on a date with me. But lucky for you, there’s TONS of wimmins here that might be great potential for you.

Has never been married, and is single by choice. But…

If you’re interested in getting to know more about Jack, find and friend him on Facebook here.

But the larger question remains: Would you want to be married to a professional athlete? There are probably worst gigs in the world. You could spend 72 days stuck being married to a Kardashian. Granted there are probably lots of horror stories about being married to a professional athlete (I’m talking to you, Vanessa Bryant) but relationship drama and shenanigans are not limited to the professional ranks, am I right?

And if you can’t stand football, but will likely be at some sort of Super Bowl shindig, think about some of the great eye candy for you. There are some really good looking players in the NFL, some of whom will be on the field on Sunday.

I’ve taken the time to highlight a few football hotties for your perusal. It’s tough work but someone has to do it. And if you should land a pro athlete hottie, please…for God’s sake…don’t get on a VH1 reality show and act a fool. I’m serious. We will call you out for that mess.

Wes Welker, New England Patriots: At 5’9” and 175 pounds, this four time Pro Bowler is considered small by NFL standards. But hell, to get a look in to those blue eyes, just make him stand on a milk crate or something. He’s also got a pretty wicked sense of humor. Just ask Rex Ryan.

Mark Sanchez, New York Jets: This So Cal cutie has often been dubbed the second coming of Joe Namath for his skills on and off the field. But “Sanchito” has a lot more to prove on the field so that he becomes known for more than his pretty boy looks. Proud to be Mexican-American, Sanchez wore a custom mouth guard that featured the colors of the Mexican flag in honor of his heritage on occasion when playing at USC.

Aaron Rodgers, Green Bay Packers: First, I will say I love me some Aaron Rodgers because he attended my alma mater, Cal. Go Bears!! But beyond that, this Super Bowl MVP is pretty hot. This is a good thing considering he plays in cold ass Green Bay. There are few ladies that would love to take a Lambeau Leap in to this QB’s arms.

Will Demps, unsigned free agent: Damn, damn, damn. Honestly, I’m not even sure if he is still with an NFL team. Does it matter? Will is half African American and half Korean. That equals 100% hot.

Vernon Davis, San Francisco 49’ers: This was a tough pick for me. I’m an Oakland Raider fan, which means anything 49’ers is persona non grata. But I can’t hate on a brotha…Vernon Davis is easy on the eyes. This Pro Bowl Tight End (yes, that is the position he plays…geez…I do have some class) is a multitalented athlete, lettering in football, basketball, baseball and track and field in while in high school.

Now, I know what you are thinking:

“Come on, Niki. Men are more than eye candy. We don’t want to be objectified, so why would be objectify them? We are enlightened!”

And to that, I say…wait, what did you say again? I’m still distracted by Wes Welker.

I know there are lots of players that I missed. So, tell me…who would you add to this NFL hotties list?

Enjoy the big game on Sunday!

Gather ‘round children of Beyond Black and White. Mama has a story to tell.

Once upon a time, in a land far, far away…

Oh HAYELL No…it’s not that kind of story.

As crazy as the blog title sounds, it’s totally, completely 100% true. I met and fell in love with a pretty freaking amazing guy thanks to a blogger, an old school rapper and an Animaniacs cartoon. Here’s how it goes…

The Matchmaking Blogger: About seven years ago, I met Christelyn Karazin, famed author and blogtress (no, she did not pay me to say that). At the time, I worked for a nonprofit and Chris was writing for 951 Magazine. Somehow, I ended up meeting the owner of the magazine and was helping him plan a launch party for a special edition of the magazine. He said it was best that I touch base with Chris as she was playing a big role in this event. So I called Chris and we had many conversations about the party. But we also talked about being working moms and all that comes with it. We had these conversations but never met face to face. A couple days before the party, we finally meet at the venue. We come face to face…and both pause with perplexed looks. Chris said, “I didn’t know you were Black!” And I said, “I didn’t know you were Black!” Yes, we played the whole “You didn’t sound Black on the phone” card on each other. A friendship was born. We each moved on to other jobs and cities, but kept in touch via Facebook.

Fast forward to September 2011. A veritable doo-doo storm broke out on a Facebook group that focused on interracial relationships. Basically, Chris called people out on their…um…skankish behavior and they attacked her. I stepped up to defend my friend and noticed someone else was too. Some guy named Jason Hendrix that lives in the Bay Area (about a 6 hour drive from me). Now, I thought it was cool that he was defending Chris and trying to tell the women in this group that they were more than sex objects. That night, I think I sent him a friend request (something I NEVER, EVER do) and we sent messages back and forth that night. He was charming, funny, loved his adorable daughters and was pretty damn cute himself. And I thought there was no way he’d be interested in me. But Facebook friends we remained.

DJ Kool: So, a few days after we became Facebook friends, Jason was the “Hottie of the Week” on Beyond Black and White. Well, crap. Now every chick in the world was going to be eyeballing him. I decided to take a quick look at his Facebook page and saw he posted this:

“I hope ya don’t mind…let me clear my throat”

So, I posted, “Whoa. DJ Kool lyrics. Flashback! ”

He says that’s when he knew I was the one. Ain’t he the cutest? But we were both to freaking shy to say that we were interested in each other.

Former "goddess" Niki Chambers

Back to the Blogger: So, one day Chris asks Jason if anyone piqued his interest from his Hottie of the Week feature. He says, “Well, I did kind of like that Niki Chambers…” This is when Chris the Blogger turned in to Chris the Matchmaker. She encouraged him to talk to me. So, he sent me a message just saying hi and that Chris has said nice things about me. I immediately sent Chris a thank you and added, “If only a cute guy like that lived near me”. Then Chris proceeded to tell me (in the nicest way possible) “Hello, dummy. He’s here every two weeks to see his daughters.” Oh, well that changes things. But I still wasn’t sure he was interested. Chris told me he was. I wasn’t convinced, so I said I would be the next Goddess of the Week…just to make sure I could get his attention. It worked! I get another message from Jason where he says he was thinking of me. So, in the most awkward and nerdy way possible, I give him my number. I NEVER, EVER give guys my number, but I took a chance. Best decision ever.

Former "hottie" Jason Hendrix

Pinky & The Brain: After a few weeks of texting, phone calls and messages, I can tell I am falling for this guy. Like majorly falling. But we said we’d take it slow, right? Too late. It was love. My birthday was coming up and Jason said he wanted to take me out to dinner. This would be our first face to face meeting. I was freaking out. I felt so comfortable with him, but this was the real deal…face to face. I tried on everything in my closet twice before settling on a cute sweater, jeans and boots. It was freezing in Southern California that week (plus I wasn’t going to meet this guy I was in love with looking like a hoochie mama.) Anyway, we meet at the restaurant and he gives me a big hug which totally calmed my nerves. At dinner, we talked and laughed and had a blast. It felt like this was exactly where I was supposed to be. We shut the place down and, hand in hand, walked out to the parking lot. I was beyond giddy, feeling like a teenager with her first love. We were talking and laughing and then it happened…he leaned in to kiss me. And said, “Are you pondering what I am pondering?” Classic line from Pinky & The Brain (it’s a cartoon from the 1990’s…Google it, people). How could he have known I loved that show? He had me hook, line and sinker. Done…and completely head over heels in love.

The Goddess gets her Hottie: So here we are. A new year and a success story for Beyond Black and White and its matchmaking blogtress. It’s still early in our relationship, but I can honestly say this is the happiest I’ve been in a long time. No one knows what the future brings, but I am pretty sure my future will have a DJ Kool loving, Pinky & The Brain quoting Hottie in it. And that would make for a definite happily ever after.

Yes; of course I know it’s not really called that, but it’s so close to us it might as well be. Canada seems like a cool place to swirl, since from all accounts I hear it’s not a big deal to see interracial couples peppering landscape. I suspect, like in the U.S., Canada is pretty socially liberal in large cities where lots of nationalities meld into the pot. But!–like here in the U.S.– go to the country a bit and it might look a lot like a freezing Montgomery, Alabama. I say this because I kinda know. I once did publicity for a gift ware company that contracted some Canadian artists–and you know how whacky artists can be about their environment–some want to be close to Bambi and all that. I interviewed one backwoods artist for fodder on an upcoming catalog, made small talk before I just went in with the questions, and long story short, dude didn’t know I’m black and started bad-talking the black Canucks! Next question I asked him is if he’s married to his first cousin. I was laid off soon after. (That story is mostly true. Some parts have been elaborated for effect.)

Anyway, back to Pete. As you can see by the looks of his ADORABLE seven-year-old daughter, he categorically DOES NOT live in the backwoods, freezing Canada-bama. He’s never been married, but regrets doing things a bit backwards–his handle is ‘babydaddy’ on AIM. (-_-) and is now at the point in his life that he is desiring a serious, long-term relationship.

Pete owns a painting company that specializes in new housing developments. Warning! He is one of a set–he has an identical twin. I asked him if he and his brother have ever shared girlfriends and he hold me “no,” but…

Anyway, I feel like I’ve said too much.

Find and friend Pete on Facebook here.

Hi there, How are you doing? My name is Armando Gil. Just saw your website and I believe it is a great website. I would like to participate on your website if that is possible. I saw 2 categories which I am interested in. One of them is hottie of the week, and the other one is question of the week. Well, let me introduce myself a little further. I am Puerto Rican from New York, have a Master’s degree in Computer Security. I love Black women have always like them since I was a kid. In the Bronx, New York Hispanics and Blacks were the majority and still are the majority.

As for the question of the week, maybe you put “How close are Latinos with Blacks”, “Is it interracial dating when Latino and Black Date?” Something along those lines, because I have so much to say about that topic.

Well, since Armando had so much to say, I threw the question back at him, and he had some interesting answers:

BB&W: Let me ask you, what’s your take? I hear Hispanics (like some blacks) tend to be colorist, favoring lighter-skin over darker. Some black women have been so discouraged by this knowledge that they don’t pursue the men. I think a commentary from an “insider” would be good, so what say you?

Armando: For the purpose of this question I will say that I am Puerto Rican and that I will talk a lot about New York since that is where I am from.

In many of the countries the lighter you are the better that you will get treated. This is even true in the Latino countries such as Puerto Rico, Dominican Republic, El Salvador, Colombia, Mexico, and so on. In my opinion, this exists because of how people are raised, and some are not well-travelled to be able to experience different cultures. For example, in many of the movies you will see a black person stealing or living in the ghetto whereas, in the movies you will see a light- skinned person or white person living in a high-class area. So when they see this, the people will think that all Black people are ghetto and that all White people carry themselves better. I have met Black people who carries themselves well and White people who are ghetto. This is why, people should not go by what they see on TV.

Hispanics from the states are very different from the Hispanics from their country. Also it depends on where you are raised as well. For example, in The Bronx, New York Hispanics and Blacks get along very well. We live in the same ‘hoods’, listen to the same music, date each other , and see each other in the same struggle. Due to this we do not see ourselves as interracial when it comes for us to date. Also we must keep in mind that there are Hispanics who are Black, White, etc. A good example would be my family. I have family members that are White and Black, and Indian. The reason for this is that back in the days, Taino Indians were living already in Puerto Rico when Spanish people came from Spain to Puerto Rico. The Spaniards arrived in Puerto Rico with African Slaves. When they got to Puerto Rico, the Spaniards were raping the Taino women, African Women etc. This is why there are Puerto Ricans who are White, Black, or Indian. Now, that I live in Virginia people always think that I am mixed with Black and White. They would have never guessed that I am Puerto Rican if I did not say anything to the people in Virginia.

Many people do not know this, but Hispanics (mainly Puerto Ricans) and Blacks (African Americans, Nigerian Americans, and Jamaican Americans) led to the creation of what we know today as Hip Hop in the South Bronx, New York. The original Tats Cru was a famous group of Puerto Ricans from The Bronx that are well recognized in many cities of the world. Now they have other members. Crazy Legs is a Puerto Rican from New York that was part of a break dancing group called Rock Steady Crew. Dj Charlie Chase was a Puerto Rican that played Hip Hop records when Hip Hop originated. Not to mention, one of the biggest rappers from New York who have passed away was Big Pun. He was also Puerto Rican.

Moreover, a lot of the rappers from New York are mixed with Hispanic. Jim Jones is half Puerto Rican and Half Aruban, NORE is half Puerto Rican and half African American, Fabolous is African American and Dominican, Juelz Santana is African American and Dominican, Cam’ron is African American and Puerto Rican. Lastly, this shows that Hispanics and Blacks get along very well for the most part in New York.

BB&W: So I’m wondering, is New York City it’s own cushy incubator, where colorism between Hispanics and Black don’t exist?

Find and friend Armando here.

Find and friend Emmanuel here.

The following is ALL him:

Love is obviously a critical component and no doubt must be the foundation on which a fully functioning relationship thrives.

Many factors will come into play that will ultimately bear heavily on the prospect of love alone, which is why it is vital to have three of the most crucial elements, which are known as trust, honesty, and communication. The woman that whom i put 100% of myself into must be
trustworthy. Honesty is something that i’ve always believed opens the door for me to get to know my partner in a more intimate way. I have a penchant for a woman who can articulate well, debate professionally, and integrate her feelings and opinions in a way that is not overly technical.

The simpler the better.it is noticeably common that most people overlook personality and fall victim to physical attributes. However, it is quite the contrary for me. A personality that is so unique and animated in nature to the point where a solid connection is established is more than enough for me.i have great respect for a woman who can withstand all of the adversities that will befall a relationship. it is always nice to have a partner who isn’t so prompt to find the nearest exit when things get a bit intense.

After all, I do believe to some degree that most hostility in relationships are born from extensive passion for the one whom you care a great deal for. Growth is one of the most amazing processes of life, but it is even more special when you are able to do so with the person you love the most. I would take great pride in having the opportunity to have someone by my side that I can learn and prosper with.

Relationships at times can be a roller coaster of conflicts that tend to go unresolved.for me, it is important to analyze each issue so that a logical resolution is made so that all hurt feelings and doubt can be effectively eliminated.i absolutely adore a woman with a big heart; one who is quick to pour out her affection, and one who is slow to judge. I would image that it would be tough to share ones life with someone who habitually lays out every detail of your flaws instead of being accepting of who you truly are. a woman who doesn’t make you feel ashamed of being yourself is always a winner in my book. And last, but most certainly not least is good sense of humor. If I can sit back, relax, and crack jokes with you no matter how corny they may be,
then the necessary sacrifices that need to be made on both sides to maintain a healthy union will seem more like blissful transitions rather than a tedious chore.

Laughter is the best medicine.

Find and friend Silue here.

What the heck is it with Midwestern dudes? Do they put something in the corn or the cattle or something, because dude is 6+ feet tall, a Christian, gun lover, wanna-be-married with a bunch of kids kind of guy and loves the brown-skinned beauties, 18-40. Um…yeah. You heard that right. Go cougars, GO! (He has the 40 cut off because he wants his woman to bear him some chillrins).

Sam is a student and wants to be in the security field when he graduates. So have at it, ladies. Tall, handsome, and a fierce protector.

Find and friend Sam on Facebook here.