Beyond Black & White » Blast from the Past http://www.beyondblackwhite.com Chronicles, Musings and Debates about Interracial & Intercultural Relationships Thu, 02 Jul 2015 14:36:21 +0000 en-US hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=4.2.2 TBT: The Beautifulness of Duran Duran Then and Now http://www.beyondblackwhite.com/tbt-beautifulness-duran-duran-now/ http://www.beyondblackwhite.com/tbt-beautifulness-duran-duran-now/#comments Thu, 17 Jul 2014 17:25:22 +0000 http://www.beyondblackwhite.com/?p=31717 Children!! I’ve got a confession to make. When I was but a wee babe, there was no such thing as (c)rap music!! There wasn’t much R&B (as you know it) and there certainly wasn’t dedicated radio stations, let alone the internet wouldn’t be along for many, many, MANY, years to come. So, how did I […]

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Children!! I’ve got a confession to make. When I was but a wee babe, there was no such thing as (c)rap music!! There wasn’t much R&B (as you know it) and there certainly wasn’t dedicated radio stations, let alone the internet wouldn’t be along for many, many, MANY, years to come. So, how did I come to love the luscious pout of Simon LeBon, or the porcelain skin of Nick Rhodes, or the Taylor boys Roger, Andy and John….not related? By the grace of Gawd, is how!!

The British invasion of 1983 was bought on by the creation of MTV, then Music Television was a novel and curious concept. If you were lucky enough to know someone with cable then you learned how to sit and watch the TV while waiting for music videos to play on stations that didn’t really exist.

It was a shared experience, because in due time the conversation of the youth began to revolve around the ‘hotness’ and the ‘cuteness’ of musical bands that were’t from this content.

The United Kingdom was growing some good stuff across the pond and we didn’t even know about it. Videos eventually made their way onto mid-mid-middle of the night/early morning video shows that played on channels that were only slightly focused. Tin foil, a wire clothes wire, and turning my head to the side solved the problem of the fuzzy screen, at least enough for me to see my very first Duran Duran video.

Girls on Film” was so risque that it came with a ‘day’ and ‘night’ version. I found the visuals interesting as it contained images of BDSM, fetishism, female dominance, and sumo wrestlers. I appreciated the images of beautiful models aggressively slinging men around the screen since I had just quit modeling; I’m wondering if this scene caused me to turn into a sort of Venus flytrap of a woman? My beauty will draw you near but don’t think I won’t eat you alive if provoked. It also showed me that guys I thought to be attractive were willing and eager to compete for my attention.

 

Rio is the next song that held meaning for me. The video was shot in Sri Lanka, and/or Antigua featured Simon et, al roaming around a yacht in crisp colorful tailored suits. The opening lines refer to a woman who is a ‘bird of paradise’ the fact that the women in this video were all brown women did not slip past me. I knew then that if I got near any member of the band, that I too, could get body painted and doused with water on a beautiful secluded island somewhere I had never heard of. (As I write this I’m  orchestrating my next photo shoot which will contain—-BODY PAINT! See how these childhood things affect us?)

Champagne glasses of some colorful drank, underwater video of the group snorkeling and the boys of the band wearing speedos!

BABY…….those was the days!! And I still love to party in this manner with guys and gals that look like the ones in the video. The girls capturing the guys in fishing nets and dragging them away like CAVE WOMEN!! Oy, vey….more, please.


By Hungry Like the Wolf the subliminal meaning was clear to me–these gorgeous white men had black women on their radar, for sure. If I’m not mistaken, you have to look VERY hard to find a blonde haired, pale woman in any of their videos.

Before I was old and educated enough to get sidetracked by the implied meaning of the lyrics, and objectification of women and exploiting natural environments for commercial use, there was simply sexy guys chasing a tribal painted dark brown woman through a jungle.

Simon and the female lead created quite a steamy scene, if you listen to the lyrics, he’s not chasing her to have her, he’s risking his life and limb because he MUST have her. She, the beautiful lead, isn’t so easily convinced. Could this be where I learned to pursue men, and that they should chase and pursue me back, like they REALLY mean it….? Could be….

Hungry Like the Wolf

Simon LeBon circa 1980’s

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Simon Le Bon 2014

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Nick Rhodes circa 1980’s
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Nick Rhodes 2014

 

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Roger Taylor circa 1980’s

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Roger Taylor circa 2014

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Andy Taylor circa 1980’s113009MSMO114

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Andy Taylor circa 2014

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John Taylor circa 1980’s (officially known as ‘my future husband’)

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John Taylor of Duran Duran

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John Taylor circa 2014

Carsten Windhorst / www.frpap.com / info@frpap.com

 

Duran Duran still consists of all of the original group members but for Andy Taylor. They are currently working on their 14th studio album. The band tours, releases mix tapes (John Taylor is quite the producer/DJ on the club circuit), and rumor is that they will be collaborating with  John Frusciante of the Red Hot Chili Peppers on their next project. 

 

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TBT: The Dukes of Hazzard http://www.beyondblackwhite.com/tbt-dukes-hazzard/ http://www.beyondblackwhite.com/tbt-dukes-hazzard/#comments Thu, 10 Jul 2014 19:02:18 +0000 http://www.beyondblackwhite.com/?p=31574 Growing up in the 80’s was quite an experience. Television shows revolved around likeable charecters that weren’t too bad on the eyes. It was during this time where my boy crush database was in development and one of my favorite eye ball treats was to sit down next to my Dad for an episode of […]

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Growing up in the 80’s was quite an experience. Television shows revolved around likeable charecters that weren’t too bad on the eyes. It was during this time where my boy crush database was in development and one of my favorite eye ball treats was to sit down next to my Dad for an episode of The Dukes of Hazzard.

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The Dukes of Hazzard follows the adventures of “The Duke Boys”, cousins Bo Duke (John Schneider) and Luke Duke (Tom Wopat), who live in a rural part of the fictional Hazzard County, Georgia with their attractive cousin Daisy (Catherine Bach) and their wise old Uncle Jesse (Denver Pyle). They race around in their customized 1969Dodge Charger stock car, dubbed (The) General Lee, evading crooked county commissioner Boss Hogg (Sorrell Booke) and his inept county sheriff Rosco P. Coltrane(James Best), and always managing to get caught in the middle of the various escapades and incidents that often occur in the area.

He may have been enjoying the nostaligia of the dirty South, I on the other hand, was all about Bo and Luke Duke. Bo Duke played by John Scneider was the athletic blonde haired cousin. His shaggy head full of hair and dimples made my little heart flutter. He most recently appeared in Glee and Tyler Perry’s the Haves and the Have Nots.

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Tom Wopat played Luke Duke, the dark haired cousin who had a silent type of attraction. He was the level headed guy who seemed like he could protect under any circumstances. That’s not scientifically test, I just tend to feel that way about men with excessive forearm hair and this is why. He recently appeared in Django Unchained in 2012.

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I think he’s the reason I love men with dark hair and light colored eyes. I’m also all about shaggy hair and yearn to run my fingers through the mass of waves, now that I’m older, I also like to yank and pull hair but that’s besides the point. I didn’t have such bad taste back in the day, I think. Wondering what the golden boys of the Dukes of Hazzard look like now? No worries, both gentlemen are working actors and still maintaining their good looks.

John Schneider now. JohnSchneiderFeatured Tom Wopat now.

Photo

 

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Swirling In History: Vintage News Clippings of Couples Who Dared to Love When It Was Damn Scary http://www.beyondblackwhite.com/swirling-history/ http://www.beyondblackwhite.com/swirling-history/#comments Mon, 24 Feb 2014 05:34:27 +0000 http://www.beyondblackwhite.com/?p=28719 We don’t need Black History Month to know about swirling black women throughout history.  But since it is February, and I like history I thought it proper to revisit some stories I came across in the annals of Jet Magazine, a Johnson Publications  Some are mind blowing, some are very nice and everything in between.   […]

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We don’t need Black History Month to know about swirling black women throughout history.  But since it is February, and I like history I thought it proper to revisit some stories I came across in the annals of Jet Magazine, a Johnson Publications  Some are mind blowing, some are very nice and everything in between.   I appreciate these vintage issues of Jet because that is largely how black America got its news.   Most of the stories are interracial or swirling related.  I found some of these tidbits of news very informative even by today’s standards.  They were probably a big deal at the time.   Enjoy these tidbits of swirling and history.

 

Raymond Stough and Beatrice Williams Wed in Chicago with 1000 guest  Jet Mag July 17, 1952

  1000 Witness Marriage Between Actors Raymond Stough and Beatrice Williams in Chicago – Jet Magazine, July 17, 1952 Wowzers!

Hilda Sims

Actress Hilda Simms and husband Richard Angerola.  Jet Mag Mar 19, 1953 p.29

bandleader

Cleo Laine Marries Johnny Dankworth in London – Jet Magazine, April 10, 1958.
You can see the website of Dame Cleo and the late Sir John Dankworth here.    She has a Facebook page album that has many many wonderful photos!  There were really young on this pic.  Enjoy 

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Elizabeth Knowles & Australian hubby Raymond Bridges Jet Mag. Apr 11, 1968.

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Interracial Marriage Will Be Common One Day, Says Adam Clayton Powell – Jet Magazine, September 18, 1952. Looks like Adam was right!

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Interracial Couple from Earlham College Finally Weds (Grace Cunningham and Robert McAllester) – Jet Magazine, June 19, 1952

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Simmons College Senior Joan Allen Weds British Scientist Roger Franklin – Jet Magazine, July 16, 1953

June Richards

Singer June Richmond marries Frenchman Guy Provence in Paris, France.  Jet Magazine, February 11, 1954

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Marlon Brando and actress Lena Torrance.  Jet Magazine June 17, 1954

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Joyce Owens marries white Brit Roy Elliot.  Joyce is the daughter of Dinah Lee and Englishman Percy Owens.   Jet Magazine, March 4, 1954.

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Black royalty heir.  Richard Bourne-Vanneck, His Wife Vikki and Their New Son Richard in New York.  Jet Magazine April 14, 1955.  The Plantagenets are descended from King Henry II of England and had 15 rulers.
FB friend Kirk Lemieux sent me the link to Richard’s obituary which reveals that they moved to and lived in St. Thomas, the US Virgin Islands.
That adorable little baby grew up to be a prominent attorney in St. Thomas (US Virgin Islands).
One of Richard’s daughters is gorgeous Allison Bourne-Vanneck a former Miss US Virgin Islands who is now a reporter on KATC in Lafayette, Lousiana (Acadiana).     Check her out below!
Allison shared:  “This is incredible, I wish Papa and Nana were alive to see this picture :-).  Before he passed, Papa always told me stories about England, the family, and “The Plantagentets.”  He and Nana fought hard to be together (her family is from Ethiopia), but they were very in love.  They raised my dad (the baby in the picture) in St. Thomas, and then he wanted to raise family here too.  Thank you for posting this beautiful picture!”

 

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That Awkward Privilege: The Mixed Power Status of Black Men (reposted) http://www.beyondblackwhite.com/the-mixed-power-status-of-black-men-reposted/ http://www.beyondblackwhite.com/the-mixed-power-status-of-black-men-reposted/#comments Sun, 02 Feb 2014 20:00:02 +0000 http://www.beyondblackwhite.com/?p=28247 Ever wanted to demonstrate the paradox of Black Male [Mixed] Privilege by systematically illustrating how male privilege is fully analogous to White privilege? Perhaps this post will be helpful.

Black men are in the complex position of being quite privileged in one sphere of human activity -- romantic relationships -- while being quite disempowered in all other spheres of human activity. As ever with any human being, privilege is hardly acknowledged, while disempowerment is appropriately and loudly resented.

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[This post was originally published 11/03/2011. There were 61 comments back then. I have not been able to figure out how to make those old comments visible in Livefyre.

New comments can be made on this repost though.

The reference link list in the original had just two items. I expanded it to eight.]

Ever wanted to demonstrate the paradox of Black Male [Mixed] Privilege by systematically illustrating how male privilege is fully analogous to White privilege? Perhaps this post will be helpful.

This essay is based on a long comment I wrote almost 2 years ago on a post in “A Belle in Brooklyn” about the sexual politics between Black men & women. I have edited it slightly, but it is essentially the same. Belle’s post and especially the 125 comments by both men & women are quite good. You can see it all here:

From the Comments: He Said/ She Said

Here goes:

Okay, some real talk about relationship markets.

I’m going in. This is going to be an aggressive comment. Most of the men, and some of the women [at Belle’s blog] are not going to like it.

 

WHITE PRIVILEGE

This part will be easy, obvious, and seemingly pointless, but stay with me.

To avoid unnecessary clutter, I’m going to ignore other races, and just talk about White & Black.

  1. In America, and perhaps all of the world, ALL White individuals are privileged with respect to otherwise similar Black individuals, essentially everywhere and at all times. You can come up with exotic exceptions, but nothing serious to challenge this paradigm. Perhaps some day this will dissolve, as I would wish, but none of us will see that in our lifetimes.
  2. Those with the privilege benefit from it, rarely acknowledge it, never see all of it, usually believe they deserve it, and are not motivated to mitigate it. Endless rationalization is employed (sometimes self-righteously) by most of the privileged to deny or justify this privilege. Even theology is put to this task.
  3. This situation is wholly a product of history, with no basis in essential differences between the two groups. The unequal relationship is maintained by control of the institutions and culture by the dominating group, which feels entitled to its power.
  4. In addition, the dominating group has the natural advantage of numbers. There are MORE of them, enhancing the alliance opportunities of each individual.

 

INTERLUDE

Pay attention to the underlined bold words in the WHITE PRIVILEGE section above and the MALE PRIVILEGE section below, they highlight the differences between the two sections. The words that are not underlined and not bold (most words) are the same in both sections. Notice that paragraph #2 is exactly the same in both sections.

 

MALE PRIVILEGE

This part will be more uncomfortable and controversial, but still familiar.

To avoid unnecessary clutter, I’m going to ignore other genders, and just talk about Female & Male.

  1. In America, and perhaps all of the world, ALL Male individuals are privileged with respect to otherwise similar Female individuals, essentially everywhere and at all times. You can come up with some exceptions, but for the most part there is not much to challenge this paradigm. I want symmetry to prevail eventually, but I doubt it ever quite will.
  2. Those with the privilege benefit from it, rarely acknowledge it, never see all of it, usually believe they deserve it, and are not motivated to mitigate it. Endless rationalization is employed (sometimes self-righteously) by most of the privileged to deny or justify this privilege. Even theology is put to this task.
  3. This situation is mostly a product of history, with some basis in essential differences between the two groups due to biology and psychobiology. The unequal relationship is maintained by control of the institutions and culture by the dominating group, which feels entitled to its power, aided a little by greater physical strength and less capacity for empathy.
  4. In addition, the dominating group has the natural advantage of numbers. There are FEWER of them, enhancing the market value of each individual. This numerical disparity between the genders is much more enhanced amongst Blacks compared to Whites.

 

SYNTHESIS

Now I bring the fire.

Black men are in the complex position of being quite privileged in one sphere of human activity — romantic relationships — while being quite disempowered in all other spheres of human activity. As ever with any human being, privilege is hardly acknowledged, while disempowerment is appropriately and loudly resented. But even if we give fair weights to both conditions, any Black man can honestly point out that that bit of privilege is clearly outweighed by the burden of disempowerment.

True statement … but not a valid excuse.

Because the victims of that privilege are the most disadvantaged, burdened, and unfulfilled sub-group of all — Black women.

So … what’s a girl to do? Well a little of everything, including some of the suggestions upthread [in the comments of Belle’s blog]. But one powerful option to obviate the Black man’s romantic market advantage has not been explored [in Belle’s blog that is, obviously you all here at BB&W are aware]. Black women can enhance their value not only by trying to “unionize” (one way of looking at holding out for more reciprocity) or dropping out, but also by partially or mostly breaking out of the closed relationship market.

In other words, open up some consideration of non-Black men alongside the pool of Black men. I make no claim that non-Black men are better than Black men. They aren’t. Neither do I claim they are the same as Black men. Their issues are different. But by being open, even with reservations, to such men, Black women’s opportunities definitely increase. And besides, if enough of them do so, their market position relative to the Black men will improve [the same point made by R. R. Banks in his book].

White men have their own good reasons for considering this too. Their market is much more tight as far as available women. Those men that are marriage material and open to crossing over will find more quality available in the cross-market.

And men, don’t be coming at me with “White men taking OUR women!” I’m not having it. You can’t own what you don’t claim. If it’s supposed to be yours, put a ring on it.

 

* * *

Good references on Black Male Privilege, all written by Black men:

Black Male Privileges Checklist
http://jewelwoods.com/node/9
(Website may be down today, but this is the original source.)
Alternate source: http://www.bwolfephd.com/2013/08/the-black-male-privileges-checklist.html

The Reality of Black Male Privilege
http://thegrio.com/2013/08/30/the-reality-of-black-male-privilege

Acknowledging Black Male Privilege
http://isites.harvard.edu/icb/icb.do?keyword=k74757&pageid=icb.page414111

Yes Virginia, There is Black Male Privilege
http://uptownnotes.com/yes-virginia-there-is-black-male-privilege

The Myth of Black Male Privilege?
http://newblackman.blogspot.com/2010/03/myth-of-black-male-privilege.html

Breaking the Silence: Toward A Black Male Feminist Criticism
http://www.amazon.com/Breaking-Silence-Toward-Feminist-Criticism/dp/0807132136

Is Marriage for White People?
http://ismarriageforwhitepeople.stanford.edu

An Answer to Black Male Privilege
http://www.npr.org/blogs/tellmemore/2010/03/an_answer_to_black_male_privil.html

And of course countless Black women have written about this, but I do not expect BM to take them seriously — yet another example of the privilege.

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Dear “Nuttin’ Butta Brotha Women”: An Open Letter http://www.beyondblackwhite.com/dear-nuttin-butta-brotha-women-open-letter/ http://www.beyondblackwhite.com/dear-nuttin-butta-brotha-women-open-letter/#comments Mon, 23 Dec 2013 18:17:16 +0000 http://www.beyondblackwhite.com/?p=27317   Dear “Nothing But A Brother” and “I Don’t Date White Guys” black women, How do you feel? Is your holiday season all you’d hope it would be? Are you with your special significant other? If so, congrats. If not…Well, I’ve got some not so good news for you. And it comes by way of […]

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Dear “Nothing But A Brother” and “I Don’t Date White Guys” black women,

How do you feel? Is your holiday season all you’d hope it would be? Are you with your special significant other?

If so, congrats. If not…Well, I’ve got some not so good news for you. And it comes by way of Mr. “IBM” himself. We get all kinds on these boards. Which is funny, because the women here are pretty much not interested in dating black men. We have options and we exercise them on the regular. This is routinely encouraged: We don’t tell black women they can or should only date a man according to his race or ethnicity. So the women here are not limited to any specific kind of man in the global village. And black men are noticing this.

Take a look at this PARTICULAR comment from “Mr. Professional Black Man”:

Now I am a black man… I don’t date white women... its not that I am racist… I can’t be racist because I can’t stop white people from doing anything… I think all women are beautiful including white women… its strictly a matter of preference. I would love to be able to attact a women who was kind or raised like how I was… with options... went to school and is preferably doing the corporate thing because I know she’s got money and she is independent.

How many of you single black women are sitting at home right now thinking, “I do the corporate thing, I have my own money and I’m very independent! Why don’t black men like this look at me?”

Well the answer is right there: This black man is not checking for black women who ONLY want black men. Nope: HE WANTS A BLACK WOMAN WHO HAS OPTIONS.

While you were sleeping, the bar was raised. We know this because we continue to hear from black men like this in pro-interracial dating spaces aimed at black women. They are over here, up in our business, trying to get with women who ARE NOT CHECKING FOR THEM. Why? Because if non-black men think a woman is attractive, then clearly it must be so (I will touch on that WTFery in another post, I promise)? Possibly, but there’s also the fact that professional, educated black women who are going places in life and aren’t looking for a specific race of man don’t scream DESPERATE”.

Of course, these men are puzzled at how to approach such women, since verbal abuse and emotional manipulation doesn’t work. What these men are going to have to do if they want “black women with options” is compete. But, they don’t want to do that.

And that’s where YOU ladies come in.

This is a golden opportunity for you to get the sort of black man you want, since you have been going about it the wrong way for so long.

What you ladies need to do is OPEN UP YOUR OPTIONS. That’s right: Instead of letting everyone who will hear you know, “I’m down for the brothas, nobody else need apply”, maybe you could instead say, “You know what? I’m an attractive educated woman, and I see no reason to limit my dating options.”

If all the black women in America started saying this, you would find things would go a lot differently for those of you who can’t figure out where your next black man is coming from or even where to find one.

He’d find YOU. And then if you wanted to get married, guess what? He’d do that, too. He’d have to, or risk losing out to the Irish, Italian, German, Latino, Korean, etc. men who have no issues with marrying a woman before impregnating her or who don’t see a pregnant woman and child and something to abandon as quickly as possible.

Rather than demand you be there with your two jobs and car to take care of him “as an independent black woman is supposed to”, he would have to go to college, work hard and present to you a lifestyle that could keep up with your needs and the needs of any children you might have. Rather than the onus of “caring for brothas” being placed on black women, black men will have to MAN UP and take care of themselves, learn how to treat and respect women that they want, and actually court black women.

All Because Black Women Stopped Going On About How They Don’t Exercise Their Options.

Now, I’m just throwing you a bone. You don’t have to do any of this. But I figure I’d give you a head’s up in case you were wondering why all your open letters to black men and blogs about why you won’t date interracial was falling on seemingly deaf ears. Why despite black women being unable to shut up about how they only will ever want a black man, there is no stampede of brothers to their door steps with flowers in hand.

And why all the black men you want so bad are over here, bothering black women that will never be interested in them at all, or certainly interested in limiting themselves to just black men.

At some point, you need to connect the dots and realize that one group is more attractive than the other and why you’re not as attractive despite all the love and loyalty in your heart.

 

It’s not because you aren’t raising enough of a ruckus about “black love” and “supporting black men”. THEY HEAR YOU LADIES, THEY JUST DON’T CARE. They don’t care because you are immobile. They know they can go after whoever they want, including us women not checking for them – because they know you will be there if they want to come through. They know you will welcome them with open arms and a freaking parade no matter what they say or do. You are perennially available and refuse to exercise your options by dating according to things other than skin color. Loss of you is impossible, so your relevance is non-existent.

No matter HOW LOUDLY you holler about black men, this will not change. Want change in the New Year? Start hollering about Swedes and see what happens.

XOXO

 

– Toni

 

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Why Not Give a Guy in Prison a Chance? http://www.beyondblackwhite.com/why-not-give-a-guy-in-prison-a-chance/ http://www.beyondblackwhite.com/why-not-give-a-guy-in-prison-a-chance/#comments Mon, 13 May 2013 15:12:25 +0000 http://www.beyondblackwhite.com/?p=21395 Would you, could you?

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I was scrolling through the television channels and came across a show called Prison Wives.  I was giving it a side eye based on the title alone but I decided to watch.  Two women were profiled who had married men in prison.  I felt sorry for those women.  One was working tirelessly to get her husband a new trial and the other was preparing for a conjugal visit.  They both met their husbands while the men were incarcerated.  Again, I felt sorry for the women and wonder what could make women give men in prison a chance.  There are probably a myriad of reasons and life is a series of chances but some things are just not worth the risk.

 

Newsweek March 3, 2003

Newsweek March 3, 2003

The show reminded me of an article I read in Newsweek back in March of 2003.  We discussed this topic in a Facebook forum and most felt that dating a man in prison or fresh out of prison was not for them.  The story was actually about some of the challenges black women share regardless of background or education.  The conversation did eventually come to relationships.  Author Teri Woods, a self made millionaire and admits that she would rather have a man from prison than be lonely — in so many words.  Dating out obviously did not appeal to her.  Star Jones, Mellody Hobson, Beyonce, Foxy Brown, Deborah Robers and Deborah Wright all weighed in.  Remember this was 2003 but even today,  some 10 years later many women think like Teri Woods.  Many black women don’t or won’t expand their options to include non black men so some would obviously seek out men in prison.  As a former Magistrate,personally I advise against it knowing the criminal element as I do, but each individual woman has to make up her own mind in these matters.  And I do believe in the one exception to the rule but are you willing to risk that he may not be the one exception?  What say you in BB&W land?

Author Allison Samuels profiled the entire round table discussion.

 

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