Beyond Black & White http://www.beyondblackwhite.com Chronicles, Musings and Debates about Interracial & Intercultural Relationships Thu, 19 Apr 2018 05:08:06 +0000 en-US hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=4.9.5 Cassandra Damper Latest “Desperate to Be Down” Casualty http://www.beyondblackwhite.com/cassandra-damper-latest-desperate-to-be-down-casualty/ http://www.beyondblackwhite.com/cassandra-damper-latest-desperate-to-be-down-casualty/#respond Tue, 03 Apr 2018 15:31:53 +0000 http://www.beyondblackwhite.com/?p=44096 Last Easter Sunday I saw the most disturbing video since I made the poor decision to watch a beheading of an innocent American by an Al Qaeda militant on YouTube. Three people playing with a gun in the car, a really cute looking girl waving it saying, “See what we do to lyin’ ass hoes? […]

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Last Easter Sunday I saw the most disturbing video since I made the poor decision to watch a beheading of an innocent American by an Al Qaeda militant on YouTube. Three people playing with a gun in the car, a really cute looking girl waving it saying, “See what we do to lyin’ ass hoes? We draw down on ‘dem hoes!” and some other gangbanger posturing while a young man says, “Where you from? You making me nervous.” A guy in the back says something about a clip, and then the absolute worst happens…the gun goes off and hits the man next to the woman in the head. The blank look and moan that comes from the man as his lifeblood spills like a hose is something I will not soon forget. The video is available online, but I will not post it here.

Because the event happened yesterday, April Fool’s Day, I was doggedly searching Facebook and Google to see if what I saw was a joke. In so doing, I discovered more details about the three people. There seem to be some gang affiliations by the men and lots of cash waving in social media. What struck me, however, was the girl who did the shooting. Once I learned her name, Cassandra Damper, I looked her up. On a page that is now deactivated, I saw a pretty and sweet girl who appeared to live a double life. In fact, she had two separate pages. One page, “Cassandra Damper” was a clean, easy-breezy page with lots of white friends and a mix of people of other races. The other, “Sandy Dee” was pocked with sketchy looking folks, the majority all black. Both pages were hers. Both told very different stories about this 25-year-old woman.

Her “clean” page reflected a cheerful, friendly girl who appeared to have had some formal education and gainful employment. In a podcast about her musical talent, she mentions that she went to prep school where she was bused into white neighborhoods.

 

When I showed her page to close friend of mine, it was extremely hard to reconcile the girl who shot that poor man with the one we saw. “This can’t be her!”

Yes, it was.

Cassandra Damper

While extreme, this is a prime example of a young black woman of promise feeling the need to “be hard for the hood” to maintain a certain authenticity with her community while trying to present a more “wholesome” face to the greater and larger society. Judging from the podcast, this young women was never “hard,” but playing up for approval from the low-quality, anti-intellectual ratchet circle she on her periphery. The pressure to “keep it real” divides many of us who fear the backlash that living life like a square means losing our “black card.” The attention seeking and need for approval can be strong, even when you know you need to outgrow it.

Just listen to Cassandra Damper in this podcast, and listen to how sweet she sounds. Apparently,
she was an accomplished musician from a family of dulcimer players.

How can the woman with the gun and the woman I see here be the same? How does a girl who goes to prep school and learns to play the dulcimer feel the need to posture as if in some bad parody of a gang banging movie? Whether ruled an accident or not, her life is forever changed. Once promising, sweet, pretty and innocent appearing, that mug shot will dog her for the rest of her life.

I bet she wished she’d have stayed home and practiced her dulcimer.

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Black Women, WHEN Will You Catch a Clue? http://www.beyondblackwhite.com/black-women-when-will-you-catch-a-clue/ http://www.beyondblackwhite.com/black-women-when-will-you-catch-a-clue/#respond Sat, 31 Mar 2018 06:26:14 +0000 http://www.beyondblackwhite.com/?p=44081 Before continue reading, understand that this is a stream of consciousness. It’s a frustration so palpable I have to give it voice…or in this case…words. Recent news from the New York Times, Brookings Institute, and latest victim of a police shooting who couldn’t stand the sight of black women while his dark-skinned grandmother cried for […]

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Before continue reading, understand that this is a stream of consciousness. It’s a frustration so palpable I have to give it voice…or in this case…words. Recent news from the New York Times, Brookings Institute, and latest victim of a police shooting who couldn’t stand the sight of black women while his dark-skinned grandmother cried for him, I have to ask: Why do you do it? 

I’m really serious. How much abuse, sabotage, and neglect are you willing to tolerate before you finally start doing what is best for you? Women of other races are laughing at us, and why? Because the punches we take THEY would NEVER. In my research on relationship dynamics, I can tell you for certain that most women of other cultures (including African women) will do what is necessary to climb out of the dungheap and do what is best for themselves and understand the value of their youth, beauty, and wombs bring, and will do whatever necessary to leverage those assets to capture the gaze of quality men…OF ALL RACES. They are mercenary in ALL aspects–romantically and socially.

This blind loyalty is getting boring, ladies. Are you sick and tired yet? Black women are the most educated at the university, but the dumbest when it comes to mercenary mate selection. We allow for others to convince us (most of the time successfully) to resist our innate urge for protection and provision to be in the service of everything they deem important and we ain’t even in the Top 100.

Black women, we are not doing anyone any favors by grading black men on a curve while we throw every potential pitfall, real or imagined, into the reasons why we don’t entertain the attention from all men EQUALLY. The men who you coddle, while they will never admit it, will hate you for it. They will look at you and see only struggle, while they elevate women of other races and openly express contempt for female blackness.

The sad thing (well pathetic actually) is the constant surprise when we are confronted with these hard truths. How smart would California be if they continued to be surprised that earthquakes happen on occasion, and just pretended it needs to take no measures to reinforce structures and have disaster scenarios put in place?? Many black women twist themselves into pretzels trying to make these contact assaults of truth to be anomalies. Surely that can’t be the norm, could it? How many times do you have to see to make it not an aberration? A hundred times? A thousand?

I’m convinced that many (most) black women suffer from some form of self-defeating personality disorder. It just fell short of the DSM III-R, because of lack of empirical evidence. Perhaps the researchers should have spent some more time examining us. Here’s the definition. Ask yourself how many of the symptoms describe many of the black women you know.

Self-defeating personality disorder is:

A) A pervasive pattern of self-defeating behavior, beginning by early adulthood and present in a variety of contexts. The person may often avoid or undermine pleasurable experiences, be drawn to situations or relationships in which they will suffer, and prevent others from helping them, as indicated by at least five of the following:
  1. chooses people and situations that lead to disappointment, failure, or mistreatment even when better options are clearly available (You can’t see me, but I bet you know what I’m thinking.)
  2. rejects or renders ineffective the attempts of others to help them (ever hear what some black women say about how I’m trying to undo the black community with my “nefarious” message of swirling?)
  3. following positive personal events (e.g., new achievement), responds with depression, guilt, or a behavior that produces pain (e.g., an accident) (How many black women get a degree and success and feel like they need to date the janitor in order to give back?)
  4. incites angry or rejecting responses from others and then feels hurt, defeated, or humiliated (e.g., makes fun of spouse in public, provoking an angry retort, then feels devastated) (I don’t really have a quip for this one)
  5. rejects opportunities for pleasure, or is reluctant to acknowledge enjoying themselves (despite having adequate social skills and the capacity for pleasure) Self-explanatory.
  6. fails to accomplish tasks crucial to their personal objectives despite having demonstrated ability to do so, e.g., helps fellow students write papers, but is unable to write their own (Or…or…how about this Alex Trebek! Black women having babies without the benefit of marriage even though there’s 20 forms of birth control!)
  7. is uninterested in or rejects people who consistently treat them well (uhmmmhmmm….)
  8. engages in excessive self-sacrifice that is unsolicited by the intended recipients of the sacrifice (the only word I would change is the “unsolicited” part. That self-sacrifice is solicited a whole hell of a lot.)

If you’r a black woman and you’re offended by this message, you might suffer from this diagnosis.

I’ll send you the bill.

Follow me @Christelyn on Instgram and Twitter. 

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Why Does EVERYTHING Have to Be a Movement? http://www.beyondblackwhite.com/why-does-everything-have-to-be-a-movement/ http://www.beyondblackwhite.com/why-does-everything-have-to-be-a-movement/#respond Mon, 26 Mar 2018 05:56:43 +0000 http://www.beyondblackwhite.com/?p=44058 Intermingled with monthly school shootings, police misconduct, a potential trade war, Russian meddling, and Donald Trump’s mistresses, we have yet another protest to hashtag on Twitter. Saggy boobs. Yes. With all the things going on in the world, Chidera Eggerue wants YOU to know that saggy boobs matter. Apparently, this member of the perpetually triggered Millenial generation […]

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Intermingled with monthly school shootings, police misconduct, a potential trade war, Russian meddling, and Donald Trump’s mistresses, we have yet another protest to hashtag on Twitter. Saggy boobs.

Yes. With all the things going on in the world, Chidera Eggerue wants YOU to know that saggy boobs matter. Apparently, this member of the perpetually triggered Millenial generation wants to call attention to the alleged pressure she feels to have perky boobs.

I’m speechless.

When this came up in our private Pink Pill discussion group, we pretty much let out a collective sigh.

I seriously think that these “LOOK AT MEEEE! I’M OPPRESSED!!!” publicity stunts will eventually come back to bite these people. I mean, how do you tell a future employer that you feel you’re best qualified because you got the world to stop and contemplate your saggy boobs?

Somebody call this woman’s mamma. She’s a gorgeous girl who just needs a good bra and to be banned from Instagram and Twitter so she can get on with her life.

What say you?

 

 

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DISGUSTING Representation of White Woman Worship http://www.beyondblackwhite.com/disgusting-representation-white-woman-worship/ http://www.beyondblackwhite.com/disgusting-representation-white-woman-worship/#comments Wed, 31 Jan 2018 03:45:31 +0000 http://www.beyondblackwhite.com/?p=43830 I’m completely speechless over this photograph and the awful symbolism of the perceived white woman’s beauty supremacy. After hundreds of years of covering our hair because white women didn’t want the competition of black African women, to laws against interracial marriage, systematic indoctrination of our innate ugliness in comparison to white women, and no one […]

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I’m completely speechless over this photograph and the awful symbolism of the perceived white woman’s beauty supremacy. After hundreds of years of covering our hair because white women didn’t want the competition of black African women, to laws against interracial marriage, systematic indoctrination of our innate ugliness in comparison to white women, and no one thought this might not be a great idea?? 

 

A post shared by Roseography (@bennierose) on

Imagine the uproar if the centerpiece was a white man with black men kneeling and worshipping him. There would be blood in the streets! But perhaps the most disappointing news at all this is that the black models actually came up with the concept.

“I thought in total we’re only going to have about three bright-skinned women. But we’re going to have to do something with that,” says Bennie Rose when asked about the concept.

He continued, “But what ended up happening is, we ended up with just the one bright-skinned person, everybody else was darker, and then the models had came up with the idea. It was like, ‘Oh, you know what would be a good idea? How about we do this?’ And I was like, ‘Oh s***. Let’s do it.’”

Speaking on the underlying tone of the portrait, Rose simply said, “There is no back story.” He believes the meaning is however people react to it. It forces feelings out of people, and that serves as the art piece. “It’s a truth and a pantheon of perspective of society.” [SOURCE] 

Oh, Mr. Rose. There absolutely IS a backstory, and if you knew how many tears black women have had to shed to get to the point where they are just beginning to love themselves and who they are, you would never fix your mouth to say that.

What do you think? Is this just “art?” Nothing to see here?

Follow Christelyn on Instagram and Twitter, and subscribe to our YouTube channel. And if you want to be a little more about this online dating thing, InterracialDatingCentral is the official dating site for this blog

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When the #MeToo Bandwagon Goes Left… http://www.beyondblackwhite.com/metoo-bandwagon-goes-left/ http://www.beyondblackwhite.com/metoo-bandwagon-goes-left/#comments Fri, 19 Jan 2018 05:23:48 +0000 http://www.beyondblackwhite.com/?p=43792 Since when did manufactured oppression become fashionable? “Grace” the woman who tried to make a sexual assault claim against Aziz Asari because she didn’t like how he was making out with her, oh! and stopped when she said she didn’t want to have sex with him is doing some damage to the #MeToo movement, and […]

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Since when did manufactured oppression become fashionable? “Grace” the woman who tried to make a sexual assault claim against Aziz Asari because she didn’t like how he was making out with her, oh! and stopped when she said she didn’t want to have sex with him is doing some damage to the #MeToo movement, and HLN journalist, Ashleigh Banfield has something to say about it.

 

Banfield is right. Hopping on a victim bandwagon for clicks and views without considering how this would ruin Ansari’s career because you had a “bad date” is a major overstep. In the second video, she talks directly to the writer of the original story who sent a nasty email attacking Banfield’s looks while claiming to be an advocate of feminism is the ultimate display of hypocrisy.

All this complaining and manufactured outrage is becoming exhausting to your men, by the by. More and more of them are coming to my YouTube channel and telling their stories about some of you. They have compassion for women who are going through real, life-threatening, career-ending, soul-crushing abuse by men, but not your whining about bad dates and fighting for the right to go shirtless and free bleed.

Maybe if you’d look more than twice at the crippling statistics black and brown women face instead of being narcissistically preoccupied with mindless pettiness, I will take your Third Wave Feminists seriously. Doubt that will happen though. Listen, little snowflakes: if going out with a guy who made out with you badly is the “worst night of your life,” you need to kiss the effing ground, you entitled, spoiled little…nevermind.

Follow Christelyn on Instagram and Twitter, and subscribe to our YouTube channel. And if you want to be a little more about this online dating thing, InterracialDatingCentral is the official dating site for this blog

 

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As Meghan Markle’s Star Rises, Jealous White Women Get Ugly. http://www.beyondblackwhite.com/meghan-markles-star-rises-jealous-white-women-get-ugly/ http://www.beyondblackwhite.com/meghan-markles-star-rises-jealous-white-women-get-ugly/#comments Mon, 15 Jan 2018 05:46:06 +0000 http://www.beyondblackwhite.com/?p=43772 Is anyone surprised that racist white women who have been told their whole lives that they are the pinnacle of femininity and beauty are having a problem with a biracial woman with a black mother is marrying into royalty? Eh. Bet the 25-year-old homewrecker who convinced UK Independence Party member Henry Bolton to leave his wife […]

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Is anyone surprised that racist white women who have been told their whole lives that they are the pinnacle of femininity and beauty are having a problem with a biracial woman with a black mother is marrying into royalty? Eh. Bet the 25-year-old homewrecker who convinced UK Independence Party member Henry Bolton to leave his wife and children didn’t expect the backlash she would get after sending racist texts about how Meghan Markle is going to pollute royal blood with her “ugly” black genes.

Here’s the text exchange that got her rightfully suspended…

Meanwhile, she’s looking like this…

And Markle is looking so…

Britain’s Prince Harry and his fiancee Meghan Markle arrive at an event in Nottingham, Britain, December 1, 2017. REUTERS/Adrian Dennis/Pool

And Jo, when your man looks like this…

And that “ugly” black woman’s man looks like this…

It all makes sense.

As more black and biracial women become the objects of affection with the men white women feel the most entitled to, the uglier this all will get. So buckle up. This is what happens when you challenge the status quo.

Sorry, Becky, you’re not the fairest of them all, after all.

I don’t know about you, but I’m loving Prince Harry more and more for not allowing convention and racism to keep him from the woman he loves. That THAT is a white knight!!

Follow Christelyn on Instagram and Twitter, and subscribe to our You Tube channel. And if you want to be a little more about this online dating thing, InterracialDatingCentral is the official dating site for this blog

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