Beyond Black & White » Book Writing Adventures http://www.beyondblackwhite.com Chronicles, Musings and Debates about Interracial & Intercultural Relationships Fri, 19 Sep 2014 04:52:35 +0000 en-US hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=4.0 Today is Cyber Monday. Buy SWIRLING for Yourself or for a Friend! http://www.beyondblackwhite.com/today-cyber-monday-buy-swirling-friend/ http://www.beyondblackwhite.com/today-cyber-monday-buy-swirling-friend/#comments Mon, 26 Nov 2012 19:56:12 +0000 http://www.beyondblackwhite.com/?p=14541 A surprising cure for holiday depression!!

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Yes; this is a shameless plug. But it you can’t be shameless in your own house, where then, can you?

While you’re out and about, or rather, in and hovered over the computer screen, saunter over to Amazon or Barnes and Noble and pick up a copy (or five) of SWIRLING for yourself and for your gaggle of chronically-single friends. Remember, SWIRLING isn’t just for women–tons and TONS of men have read it and love it. SWIRLING is available in hard copy and e-book version. You can also send SWIRLING as a gift in both formats. It’s also available on iTunes.

Studies show that depression is at it’s peak during the holidays. Many people are lonely because they don’t have anyone special. SWIRLING might be just the thing to galvanize such a lonely soul to go out and find their Mr. or Mrs. Right. Therefore, SWIRLING is a cure for holiday depression.

“What’s this, Helen, a cure to my chronic depression? THANK YOU!!”

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LMU Book Signing Full of Young, Black Women and Fathers Concerned for Their Daughters http://www.beyondblackwhite.com/lmu-book-signing-full-young-black-women-fathers-concerned-daughters/ http://www.beyondblackwhite.com/lmu-book-signing-full-young-black-women-fathers-concerned-daughters/#comments Thu, 04 Oct 2012 16:57:14 +0000 http://www.beyondblackwhite.com/?p=11416 Besides completely selling out of books, a couple things happened that reinforced the necessity for me to continue to nag young college girls to maximize ALL their dating options and not just hang out in the dorms painting each other's toenails on Friday night. Also had a poignant moment with a black father who is struggling with the possibility of having a non-black son-in law.

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Last night Janice and I did a book signing at our alma mater, Loyola Marymount University Los Angeles (go Lions!!). We packed the house and sold out of all our books.

I got to drool over the newly-built kick-arse library, complete with Macs, a cafe, and a modern-lodge style study area with a roaring fire. Then they stuck it to me real good by putting us on the top floor looking at the window wall that overlooked Marina Del Rey and twisted that knife for the final kill. Yep. I’m jelly as hayell.

Nice to know we can pack a room of young kids…viva diversity!

 

When it Comes to Interracial Dating, There’s Still a Lot to Overcome

Two things struck me during our book discussion that I wanted to share. The young black and Latino girls in attendance STILL face issues with interracial relationships. The black girls wonder if non-black men are interested in them more than just a fetish. They asked me how to know how to identify non-black men who show interest in them (yes, the overtures are often different from what they’re used to). The Latino girls wring their hands about dealing with issues of colorism when dating black men, because being “too dark” will send all the grandmas and aunties to church praying and lighting candles in hopes that the children of such unions will take after the fairer-skinned parent.

College Girl Jumps to Defense of Black Men

Young black men were also in attendance and stayed mostly silent. As a former student, I know for a fact that each and every one of those boys are prime cuts at the university because they outnumber the girls by a 1-10 ratio, at least. After the discussion, one of the black girls felt it necessary to stand up for the brothers and asked Janice and I if we made provisions in our book so that black women were reminded about “the good brothers.” The silent boys nodded their heads in agreement, so I straight out asked her, “Why do you feel the need to speak up for these men? Why do you feel like they can’t speak for themselves? This is an open forum and they are free to speak. What compelled you to stand up for people who are welcome to contribute to the conversation? Please know if it is not your sole responsibility to “uplift” the brothers while you’re in college. Maximize all your dating opportunities as I’m sure THEY are.” This was met with a round of applause.

One Successful Black Father Recognizes the Challenges His Daughters Face

The other thing that struck me was the two successful black men who came to our discussion in the interest of their daughters. One of them, a divorced prominent attorney who serves on a variety of boards came because one daughter is involved with a Brazilian man, and the other, a Columbia law school student, pointedly asked her father if he would be offended if she came home with a white boyfriend.

 

Because he loves his daughter, he told her he would embrace whomever she loved. But as a black man, he admitted that he struggled internally with this idea. “It would be my preference that my daughters married black men.” I was impressed with his pointed honesty. He went on. “But when I was in college, all the black football and basketball players dated (and eventually married) white women and openly voiced their distaste for their own women. He admitted that people were surprised that a “black man of his stature” was not married to a white woman himself. He relayed that to the audience that people often said, “You’re a lawyer! You must be married to a white woman!” He conceded that among his peers, he’s a minority in proclaiming his resounding preference for black women.

This man had a unique understanding of what young black women–and his daughters–are going through in the relationship market. He admitted his dissonance and for that he had my complete respect. To put aside your own ego for the happiness and fulfillment of your children is the measure of a loving father.

Another father with a young adult daughter told us he knew early on that his daughter, schooled in elite private schools, was probably destined to swirl. So he bought not one, but TEN books for his daughter and the rest were reserved for gifts for the single black women in his life.

Don’t Overlook the “Nerds,” Ladies!

I made sure that I told each and every one of those ladies to maximize their dating options and Law Wanxi would have been proud to know that I advised them not to overlook the STEM students. They may be quiet and nerdy now but they’ll eventually be the bosses of all the jocks and frat boys!

 

 

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BB&W and SWIRLING Comes to San Francisco October 13!! http://www.beyondblackwhite.com/bbw-swirling-san-francisco-october-13/ http://www.beyondblackwhite.com/bbw-swirling-san-francisco-october-13/#comments Thu, 04 Oct 2012 10:34:26 +0000 http://www.beyondblackwhite.com/?p=11406 Come for Swirling! Come for (LOTS) of eye candy! Come because you don't have any thing else better to do on a Saturday night!

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I’m finally hearing that San Francisco has began their five minutes of summer this month, which is a nice change because when I was ACTUALLY THERE IN SUMMER it was like, 50 degrees. So maybe when Janice and I come there next week I can wear a sundress or something.

What was a saying? Oh yes:

Attention all of the Northern California BB&W Crew! What are you doing next Saturday? Got a date? Want one? Join me, Janice, and a host of comedians for the FIRST EVER swirling, multiracial, multicultural comedy show. What’s more, our very own Dee Dee Russell will be a part of the comedic line up! You know her don’t you? She’s the brainchild behind Black Women With Other Brothers.

Take a look-see at Filipino comedian, Ricky Del Rosario, one of the cutie-pie comedians who will be there for your viewing pleasure…

 

Here’s the deets:

“SWIRLING” COMES TO 111 MINNA GALLERY

Authors of the popular romantic how-to on “dating out” join DateWhoYouWant.com and Halfbreed Clothing Co. to host a night of comedy and social mixing celebrating ‘the swirl’

Pop culture blogger, CHRISTELYN D. KARAZIN, and journalist, JANICE RHOSHALLE LITTLEJOHN, authors of “SWIRLING: How to Date, Mate and Relate Mixing Race, Culture and Creed” host a unique book signing event.

The “Swirling” social mixer will feature an engaging discussion on navigating mixed race, culture and faith relationships. A book signing and live comedy performance follows, with DEE RUSSELL, RICKY DEL ROSARIO, KIRK McHENRY and G. KING. Drinks and hors d’oeuvres will be served. Advanced tickets are $25 at swirlingsf.eventbrite.com; $30 at- the-door. Price includes a copy of “Swirling.”

*The event is sponsored by DateWhoYouWant.com and Halfbreed Clothing.
Saturday, October 13, 2012; 6:30 p.m.- 9:30 p.m. PST 111 Minna Gallery, 111 Minna Street, San Francisco CA 94105

COST: $25 (includes the cost of one copy of SWIRILING

Reserve NOW. We’re expecting a full house. Click here for details.

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Rainbeau Spots a Girl Who’s Never Swirled, Too Shy To Speak Up But… http://www.beyondblackwhite.com/rainbeau-spots-girl-swirled-shy-speak-but/ http://www.beyondblackwhite.com/rainbeau-spots-girl-swirled-shy-speak-but/#comments Wed, 03 Oct 2012 04:21:20 +0000 http://www.beyondblackwhite.com/?p=11357 Remember Josh, the shy guy I mentioned on my Atlanta recap post yesterday would spotted a gorgeous girl who came to our event who never dated interracially? Well, she must have made quite an impression.

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Remember Josh, the shy guy I mentioned on my Atlanta recap post yesterday would spotted a gorgeous girl who came to our event who never dated interracially? Well, she must have made quite an impression. Must have been her gorgeous dark chocolate skin and bodacious afro that did it. Josh told me he’s kicking himself for being too damn shy to speak to this girl, which brought to mind our endless debates about the dating and mating patterns of men of other races, often influenced by culture and personality. While there were a couple peacocks who clearly had no problem stepping to the ladies, MOST of the other men (and I was really impressed with how many there were) were friendly, but mostly seemed a bit shy and reserved. I can’t say I’m surprised at this, because the cosmopolitan idea of interracial mingling in the South is a new one, and most people are just gathering their druthers.

I personally like shy guys–still waters often run deep. And judging by the lines of Josh’s poem, he sounds just like that type of guy.

You Don’t Know

By Josh Scott

You don’t know it, but you’ve been on my mind

The words I should have spoken, I just now find

Making me wish I could go back and undo time

And not be left with only this little rhyme

You caught my eye as soon as you first walked in

As my nervousness threw me down for the pin

Such beauty that I’ve rarely ever seen

On looks alone you’d be the hands down Queen

But I could tell that you were so much more

By the way that you carried yourself through the door

Like Big Boi I love the way that you move

As you walked to the beat of your own unique groove

Your confidence could be seen clear as day

Also later when you had something to say

I was excited when you first stood up

As my nervousness took another long deep cut

I would get to see where your head was at

As I lowered the camera to watch you chat

Your beauty wasn’t only skin deep, that’s for sure

As you asked your questions wanting to learn more

Then you admitted something that shook me to my core

As you were new to this and had never dated out before

Corny lines of how I could be your first instantly popped into my head

But I thought twice and figured I shouldn’t use any of them instead

Because they might come off as bad

And kill any change that I had

Plus it might sound of only game

And convince you I’m just the same

As what you’re trying to avoid

That’s probably always annoyed

You into opening up to something new

And letting us show you a whole new view

By this time I was instantly hooked

But grew more and more nervous every time I looked

What would I say in my dirty work clothes

Hell, do I smell or have a booger in my nose

Crazy thoughts of how it could all go wrong

Was when I knew my confidence was all long gone

I looked for an excuse, any one would do

And found one that was actually completely true

I said my goodbye’s to my two new friends

While my head and my heart tried to make amends

As I stepped outside I was full of regret

But repeated my excuse as not to fret

Later that night I was mad at myself

Letting this fear control me is not good for my health

I’ll never be happy, things will never ever change

If I don’t kick this fear’s ass that’s limiting my range

But all I can do is hope for another chance and sigh

Because the only time you fail in life is when you truly don’t even try

 

*UPDATE: We’ve discovered the name of the girl he had his eye on, and she’s been passed this poem. I’ll keep you all apprised if something develops. This is so frickin’ romantic!

 

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Atlanta Recap, In Pit-chas! http://www.beyondblackwhite.com/atlanta-recap-pit-chas/ http://www.beyondblackwhite.com/atlanta-recap-pit-chas/#comments Tue, 02 Oct 2012 05:43:19 +0000 http://www.beyondblackwhite.com/?p=11279 My Atlanta trip was probably one of the BEST, no...it was THE BEST trip on the SWIRLING book tour thus far. I got to go to the CNN center NOT as a tourist, but as a guest with a tag and everything! The interview with Natasha Curry was awesome sauce, and she's so unbelievably down to earth. Turns out Natasha is a product of an interracial union (dad black, mom white) and is married to a white rainbeau, which explains her enthusiasm for all things Swirling.

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My Atlanta trip was probably one of the BEST, no…it was THE BEST trip on the SWIRLING book tour thus far. I got to go to the CNN center NOT as a tourist, but as a guest with a tag and everything! The interview with Natasha Curry was awesome sauce, and she’s so unbelievably down to earth. Turns out Natasha is a product of an interracial union (dad black, mom white) and is married to a white rainbeau, which explains her enthusiasm for all things Swirling.

Me and Natasha cheesing it up for Instagram

 

 

The book signing at Barnes and Noble Perimeter Center was amazing, event though I was an hour late due to Atlanta’s legendary traffic jams. There was a crowd of folks waiting and it’s hard to describe that feeling. It’s like, “You guys are waiting for me?” If somebody told me five years ago I’d be doing this I’d say they were crazy.

 

I’m holding the first SWIRLING hard cover book I’ve ever seen. I had no idea it came in hardback until a lady said she bought it from her book club.

 

The ONYX book discussion was amazing! We had a great crowd and I was pleasantly surprised at all the rainbeaus who came out. Some of them made connections. I was even more thrilled about the ladies who came to the event who never dating interracially but where curious. One woman in particular was stunning, and shy guy named Josh was digging her, but alas, didn’t make a move. He’s hoping to see her again, and I’m pulling for you, Josh!

 

Then afterwards it was off to Sage for some delicious Greek food, dancing, and the official SWIRLING drink!

 

Take a look-see…

 

If you Atlanta ladies and gents haven’t joined ONYX’s outstanding MeetUp group, well…I just don’t know what else to say to you.

Next stop, San Francisco. Then on to Washington D.C. After that I’m going into a much earned, much needed, month-long coma.

*If you’re part of a MeetUp group or book club and would like us to visit, let us know! Hit me up at ckarazin@gmail.com.

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Plan Our D.C. SWIRLING Party and WIN a Free T-Shirt and Dough! http://www.beyondblackwhite.com/plan-our-d-c-swirling-party-and-win-a-free-t-shirt-and-dough/ http://www.beyondblackwhite.com/plan-our-d-c-swirling-party-and-win-a-free-t-shirt-and-dough/#comments Tue, 25 Sep 2012 03:47:48 +0000 http://www.beyondblackwhite.com/?p=10961 Whoever comes up with the best and most usable idea the we use as the theme will win a free SWIRLING t-shirt, a FREE month membership with online dating site, DateWhoYouWant.com, and a $40 Visa gift card.

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Me and the good folks at Interracial Dating and Social Connections (IDSocialConnect) Meetup Group are planning to a HUU-UUGE event in Washington D.C. on November 7 at a place called Tonic Foggy Bottom. (huh? what’s with you East Coasters and your funny names for stuff?)

Since a bunch of BB&W readers live in the Maryland, Washington D.C. and Virginia area, we’re expecting a few hundred people. But you know me, I don’t do just drinks and small talk–we’re gonna have shindig to beat all shindigs, because you’re gonna help us think up some ideas. Whoever comes up with the best and most usable idea the we use as the theme will win a free SWIRLING t-shirt, a FREE month membership with online dating site, DateWhoYouWant.com, and a $40 Visa gift card.

So get on it–let’s see those ideas!

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