Beyond Black & White http://www.beyondblackwhite.com Chronicles, Musings and Debates about Interracial & Intercultural Relationships Fri, 18 May 2018 05:53:05 +0000 en-US hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=4.9.5 How White Women’s Tears Keep Black Women Losing http://www.beyondblackwhite.com/how-white-womens-tears-keep-black-women-losing/ http://www.beyondblackwhite.com/how-white-womens-tears-keep-black-women-losing/#respond Thu, 10 May 2018 13:18:07 +0000 http://www.beyondblackwhite.com/?p=44215 A recent discussion on the effectiveness of white women’s tears reactivated the conversation of how black women and white women deal with conflict, and which approach is more effective. In general, non-black women take an indirect approach to dealing with conflict. Whether or not she may be in the wrong, the activation of tears changes […]

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A recent discussion on the effectiveness of white women’s tears reactivated the conversation of how black women and white women deal with conflict, and which approach is more effective.

In general, non-black women take an indirect approach to dealing with conflict. Whether or not she may be in the wrong, the activation of tears changes the dynamic of the conflict.

Black women are enculturated for a more direct approach to conflict resolution. While it is effective within the community, it does not lean towards our favor outside of it. The brash, in your face, take no mess confrontation often gives you the exact opposite effect. You might get some short-term relief by blowing off some steam, the long-term effects will hurt you through exclusion, shunning, and minimized opportunities.

Here is a recent example I’d like to highlight. This YouTuber is having a very public argument with another content creator about alleged idea poaching. Look at the distinctions between both the women.

The price of The Pink Pill goes up FOREVER from $199 to $299 May 15. Click here to get it at the lower price.

Follow Christelyn on Instagram and Twitter, and subscribe to our YouTube channel. And if you want to be a little more about this online dating thing, InterracialDatingCentral is the official dating site for this blog

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Pink Pill Mini: Observe Your Competition! http://www.beyondblackwhite.com/pink-pill-mini-observe-your-competition/ http://www.beyondblackwhite.com/pink-pill-mini-observe-your-competition/#respond Tue, 08 May 2018 15:27:37 +0000 http://www.beyondblackwhite.com/?p=44211 One of the biggest mistakes we black women make is obstinacy at the idea we can learn from other races of women. That hurts us in so many ways to you might never even realize, because you’ve been blocked out of so many opportunities. The best lesson I ever learned in my life was acknowledging […]

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One of the biggest mistakes we black women make is obstinacy at the idea we can learn from other races of women. That hurts us in so many ways to you might never even realize, because you’ve been blocked out of so many opportunities.

The best lesson I ever learned in my life was acknowledging that no matter how much I learn, there will always by more.

What are some things you have observed in other races and cultures that you’d like to share with the community?

Follow Christelyn on Instagram and Twitter, and subscribe to our YouTube channel. And if you want to be a little more about this online dating thing, InterracialDatingCentral is the official dating site for this blog

 

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Love Her or Hate Her, Candace Owens is the New, NEW Black Woman. http://www.beyondblackwhite.com/love-her-or-hate-her-candace-owens-is-the-new-new-black-woman/ http://www.beyondblackwhite.com/love-her-or-hate-her-candace-owens-is-the-new-new-black-woman/#respond Fri, 04 May 2018 06:50:53 +0000 http://www.beyondblackwhite.com/?p=44198 I first heard of Candace Owens via YouTube on her channel RedPillBlack. She was the talk of black Twitter and YouTube, and the collective was outraged that this black woman had the plumb nerve to step out of line and have an opinion divergent from the Democratic party line. She was pithy, irreverent, bright and […]

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I first heard of Candace Owens via YouTube on her channel RedPillBlack. She was the talk of black Twitter and YouTube, and the collective was outraged that this black woman had the plumb nerve to step out of line and have an opinion divergent from the Democratic party line.

She was pithy, irreverent, bright and obviously gorgeous. She had the attention (and the gaze) of conservative men of all races who were shocked that she had some unpopular opinions about Black Lives Matter,  modern-day feminists and that she held many of their values.

Conservatives do love their eye candy, and Candace seems to be the “black Tomi Loren,” despite them both quibbling on Twitter at the moment over Kanye. I’m kind of confused by her adoration of him though. He’s a savant–really good at one thing, and a complete moron in all others.

Ms. Owens the Contrarian has horrified the black collective while catipulting her unusual perspective into fame and a prominent job as Communications Director for a conservative organization. She is chummy with  the likes of  both Justin Beiber and that crazy guy from Info Wars. She thinks Donald Trump is a savior to humanity. 🤢🤮Think she’s a sellout bedwench and agent for white supremacy? She could care not one single feck.

I don’t agree with a lot of what Ms. Owens says, but I love that she’s bucking the crippling community pressure to conform to the playbook. I relish that a gorgeous black woman is part telling the Democratic party NOT to assume OUR support is a foregone conclusion.

She using her brains and beauty to define her version of winning, and there’s something to be said about that. At only 28, Candace Owens came out of nowhere, and now she’s speaking at national conventions and is making international news. The world is her oyster, and if we’re really going to be about the empowerment of black women to have the freedom to split from the collective to find their own way, we should extend our nod to the direction she’s going. If we want to be viewed as individuals, we’re going to have to allow that for other black women, even if we don’t agree with them 100%.

For example, I like what she’s saying here…

But I’m side-eyeing the heck out of her she’s next to here…

What do you think of Candace Owens? Does she upset you or inspire you? Oh; Candace if you’re reading this, I’d love to get an interview.

Follow Christelyn on Instagram and Twitter, and subscribe to our YouTube channel. And if you want to be a little more about this online dating thing, InterracialDatingCentral is the official dating site for this blog

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(mini) Pink Pill Advice: Get Your Life, Girl. http://www.beyondblackwhite.com/mini-pink-pill-advice-get-your-life-girl/ http://www.beyondblackwhite.com/mini-pink-pill-advice-get-your-life-girl/#respond Wed, 25 Apr 2018 06:53:43 +0000 http://www.beyondblackwhite.com/?p=44167 Just a reminder, Pink Pill will raise the price for enrollment from $199 to $299 on May 15. To get in at the intro price, click here.

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Just a reminder, Pink Pill will raise the price for enrollment from $199 to $299 on May 15. To get in at the intro price, click here.

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Time’s Almost Up for Pink Pill at the Intro Price! http://www.beyondblackwhite.com/times-almost-up-for-pink-pill-at-the-intro-price/ http://www.beyondblackwhite.com/times-almost-up-for-pink-pill-at-the-intro-price/#respond Fri, 20 Apr 2018 04:38:39 +0000 http://www.beyondblackwhite.com/?p=44138 Way back on February 1, Pink Pill launched to provide a unique training and coaching system that has absolutely never been done before. It was a culmination of nearly a decade of working as an expert in this social media space and tailored towards the black women I had come to know and love. Those […]

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Way back on February 1, Pink Pill launched to provide a unique training and coaching system that has absolutely never been done before. It was a culmination of nearly a decade of working as an expert in this social media space and tailored towards the black women I had come to know and love.
Those who signed up immediately took a chance, and boy…did it pay off for them! Pink Pill has been a smashing success and the rave reviews keep rolling in.
“I just want black women to win.  I want us to move up from our situation, whatever that is for each individual woman. I want to provide the very best tools that I have to help any black woman get on the road to be her best self.”–EurWeb feature on The Pink Pill
Since the release, Pink Pill has been updated with even more modules and sections. Most recently we’ve added MERCENARY MATE SELECTION, where I’ve compiled game-changing interviews with people who give a collective of 3.5 hours of lectures on how to choose the BEST man for the job, and includes an interview with Ayesha Faines, creator of Women Love Power and Ralph Richard Banks, author of Is Marriage for White People.  To get an overview of the new module, click here. 
Now that Pink Pill is now a PROVEN VALUE and SUCCESS, and has been piling up even MORE amazing information to guide you on living well to the EXTREME, the price goes up to $299 on May 15, 2018. There is only weeks left to get Pink Pill at the introductory price and be added to our AMAZING private Pink Pill Facebook group, where the Pink Pill sisterhood continues in a supportive and safe environment. Special guest lectures are also added to the exclusive group, on everything from beauty tips to winning at networking.
Here’s what some the Pink Pill vets are saying about the module…
“The interviews were excellent. I have learned so much from the group and the resources are invaluable. I laughed and thought to myself that Pink Pill is like a finishing school.”
 
“The new module is awesome. I love the interviews. Thank you Christelyn for doing what you do and keeping our spaces safe. I am losing weight and I have a few events that are normally $200.00 entrance fees and I got in for free by volunteering because the Pink Pill is giving me confidence and I say when I do self-talk, I BELONG!”
 
Time is running out, ladies. Get in now before the price goes up significantly. Click here to learn more.

 

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Cassandra Damper Latest “Desperate to Be Down” Casualty http://www.beyondblackwhite.com/cassandra-damper-latest-desperate-to-be-down-casualty/ http://www.beyondblackwhite.com/cassandra-damper-latest-desperate-to-be-down-casualty/#respond Tue, 03 Apr 2018 15:31:53 +0000 http://www.beyondblackwhite.com/?p=44096 Last Easter Sunday I saw the most disturbing video since I made the poor decision to watch a beheading of an innocent American by an Al Qaeda militant on YouTube. Three people playing with a gun in the car, a really cute looking girl waving it saying, “See what we do to lyin’ ass hoes? […]

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Last Easter Sunday I saw the most disturbing video since I made the poor decision to watch a beheading of an innocent American by an Al Qaeda militant on YouTube. Three people playing with a gun in the car, a really cute looking girl waving it saying, “See what we do to lyin’ ass hoes? We draw down on ‘dem hoes!” and some other gangbanger posturing while a young man says, “Where you from? You making me nervous.” A guy in the back says something about a clip, and then the absolute worst happens…the gun goes off and hits the man next to the woman in the head. The blank look and moan that comes from the man as his lifeblood spills like a hose is something I will not soon forget. The video is available online, but I will not post it here.

Because the event happened yesterday, April Fool’s Day, I was doggedly searching Facebook and Google to see if what I saw was a joke. In so doing, I discovered more details about the three people. There seem to be some gang affiliations by the men and lots of cash waving in social media. What struck me, however, was the girl who did the shooting. Once I learned her name, Cassandra Damper, I looked her up. On a page that is now deactivated, I saw a pretty and sweet girl who appeared to live a double life. In fact, she had two separate pages. One page, “Cassandra Damper” was a clean, easy-breezy page with lots of white friends and a mix of people of other races. The other, “Sandy Dee” was pocked with sketchy looking folks, the majority all black. Both pages were hers. Both told very different stories about this 25-year-old woman.

Her “clean” page reflected a cheerful, friendly girl who appeared to have had some formal education and gainful employment. In a podcast about her musical talent, she mentions that she went to prep school where she was bused into white neighborhoods.

 

When I showed her page to close friend of mine, it was extremely hard to reconcile the girl who shot that poor man with the one we saw. “This can’t be her!”

Yes, it was.

Cassandra Damper

While extreme, this is a prime example of a young black woman of promise feeling the need to “be hard for the hood” to maintain a certain authenticity with her community while trying to present a more “wholesome” face to the greater and larger society. Judging from the podcast, this young women was never “hard,” but playing up for approval from the low-quality, anti-intellectual ratchet circle she on her periphery. The pressure to “keep it real” divides many of us who fear the backlash that living life like a square means losing our “black card.” The attention seeking and need for approval can be strong, even when you know you need to outgrow it.

Just listen to Cassandra Damper in this podcast, and listen to how sweet she sounds. Apparently,
she was an accomplished musician from a family of dulcimer players.

How can the woman with the gun and the woman I see here be the same? How does a girl who goes to prep school and learns to play the dulcimer feel the need to posture as if in some bad parody of a gang banging movie? Whether ruled an accident or not, her life is forever changed. Once promising, sweet, pretty and innocent appearing, that mug shot will dog her for the rest of her life.

I bet she wished she’d have stayed home and practiced her dulcimer.

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