Beyond Black & White » Thriving http://www.beyondblackwhite.com Chronicles, Musings and Debates about Interracial & Intercultural Relationships Wed, 01 Oct 2014 16:04:06 +0000 en-US hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=4.0 Three men who say they are “good.” Three types of men black women should stay the hell away from. http://www.beyondblackwhite.com/called-nice-guys-can-subvert-black-womens-efforts-live-best-lives/ http://www.beyondblackwhite.com/called-nice-guys-can-subvert-black-womens-efforts-live-best-lives/#comments Tue, 30 Sep 2014 17:11:05 +0000 http://www.beyondblackwhite.com/?p=33696 by Christelyn Karazin My personal Facebook page is often a bastion of spirited debate. I’ll throw out a bomb, and sit back and watch the fallout. I don’t do this randomly–it’s always for a reason. Often I get such gems of information that can be used as lessons for the unawares. One such post did […]

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by

Christelyn Karazin

My personal Facebook page is often a bastion of spirited debate. I’ll throw out a bomb, and sit back and watch the fallout. I don’t do this randomly–it’s always for a reason. Often I get such gems of information that can be used as lessons for the unawares. One such post did that very thing this weekend when I wrote…

Screen Shot 2014-09-30 at 9.09.13 AM

Telling a black woman that “with her looks, she should have had no problem finding a black man to marry” puts so much onus upon us and implies that we should look under every cavity, crevice and rock, travel overseas and the Seven Seas on some quixotic quest to find our prized black prince. Never mind that while it is expected for black women to only see black men as romantic options to the exclusion of everyone else, the very men we’re supposed to go on quests for are busy enjoying their positions as rare unicorns and dating whomever they wish regardless of race, and often won’t settle down until they’re close to middle age, fatter, uglier, and with a hairline that starts at their ears. But even in a decrepit state, men can reproduce usually with no problem. Women can not. Our eggs have expiration dates, so that puts undo stress on black women to secure these quality men who don’t want to be caught until they start looking pathetic at the club. The timelines simply don’t match up.

But many of us here know these realities. We talk about them often. But what we rarely discuss is how so-called “good black men” benefit from these inequalities and contribute to further headache and heartache. These are the men who may be married to black women, profess to love and only date black women, and espouse the “black love” mantra.

Three such men came to this post–one married to a black woman, one so-called “good black man” and one non-black man with two out-of-wedlock children by two black women. The first man–the married one–attempted to shut down the discussion by guilt tactics and hyperbole: “Sometimes I come here just to be amazed. Maybe I need to find the white women who despise white men thread so that I can believe this insanity is not just a black woman thing.” So, according to him, to even ACKNOWLEDGE the disparity of dateable/marriageable black men versus black women in any sort of critical manner is to “despise” the black man. Surely we must hate all of you because we speak out loud what everybody already can see. This this same man tried to minimize the situation, and stated that most of his black, male buddies are married to black women.This is a common tactic–despite overwhelming evidence out the 72-80% out-of-wedlock rate, the 62% divorce rate, and the abysmal rates that black folks marry (worse than any other race in America)–because THEIR friends are married in THIER circle, all these stats must be wrong. Ummkay…..

The second “good guy” is a single black male who studied at the University of Pennsylvania but never finished, (and here’s a confession of mine: I keep him as a FB friend because I’m fascinated by his ability to whine about how black women have stripped black men of their rightful place, foot firmly planted on our necks.) He had plenty to whine and cry about, but here were the zingers. Ladies, pay close attention:

He said…
“As a Christian male I have to answer this questions also. Here my issue. I am 32 years old and I never thought that this issue would be such a problem. I believe that the issue lies in the fact most single black women are from the African diaspora. When I transfered into a selective university I was floored by all the black women from the diaspora that were there. Outside of this experience, the majority of black women did not value the strong moral upbringing I had. This has been my biggest complaint about Affirmative Action; its intended use was for native blacks but colleges starting using it on non-native blacks who don’t understand the culture. Not to mention the NY/Chicago/DC immigrant black pipeline. I actually worked with a black woman who is now a Harvard-trained physician (MD-PhD) who asked me how to connect to the black children at our job. She was clueless because she was not a native black. The reality is that most of you cant speak for the race. If you were to come talk to my mother, she would think that you were crazy because she lived a different experience than you. And so my problem is that its impossible for native born blacks that did not grow up with expectations as you did to think about marriage and other things. Do you know my mother thought I was stupid for attending college? She actually wanted me to mop floors for a living. She does not believe in men taking care of women or mothers being stay-at-home moms. I dont have an issue with IR dating, but the majority of native born black women are unmarriagiable. My point is that if native born black men were brought up differently than most would be the men that you want. Its black mothers fault.”

Stop signs

Then my friend, unapologetic feminist, Ebony Murph-Root said…

[This guy] seems himself as better than most black Americans and especially most black women. He has been given carte blanche to insult black women on Chris’ pages for years and because he phrases himself a little better than the [the married guy] and other various assorted black woman haters ‘who love black women’ who have come and gone on this page he remains.

He is one of these ‘special snowflake’ types thinks he is the first Negro ever to obtain a college degree and get a little conservative and have a family who didn’t get it. That is a pretty common story actually, especially for white working class kids. He thinks he is the only Negro who grew up in church . Look black women are not obligated to fall all over you because you went to college and have a ‘strong moral upbringing’ (whatever that means). One thing I noticed about men like this is they never find some ‘meek conservative church lady’ more equally yoked to marry. They get some ‘wordly’ type to marry (ie Meaghan Good) and then complain that she won’t be the good little churchy type they never wanted in the first place and somehow THAT becomes ‘all black women. It really is a sight to see, but I have seen it over and over so much that it’s now a trope.

These men who don’t really want black women, or may have married one and now hope to keep the rest from ‘escaping’ come here with their passive aggressive comments and insults in hopes of keeping the younger single black women confused. They also hope to drive a wedge between African diaspora women and AA women by calling the AA women ‘unmarriageable’ and assigning what appear to more positive traits to other women. They also hope to drive a wedge between more radical feminist women like me and women like Chris who are moderate to conservative. I hope we as black women who agree on most but not all will see past this. These men are running scared bc they see the range of women interested in discussing these topics really has grown from just the women like me who grew up realizing the okeydoke and others who took longer to get it.

I am a black American woman. My parents were born here, so were my grandparents and some of my great-grandparents were slaves and then sharecroppers. I know plenty of black women like me who have are roots in THIS nation, went to school to be teachers, lawyers, counselors, nurses, have ‘cultural’ tastes that run the gamut from dance to museums to mentorship and these issues about dating and mating hold true. My white women friends do NOT have these issues pairing off, 120lbs, 300slbs, feminist, conservative, high school graduates, graduate degrees, SAHMs, ‘career women’, they run the gamut and STILL most pair off and it has nothing to do with ‘personality’ because some of my white friends straight up run their men. African women and other black women from the diaspora actually marry out waaaaay more than African American women do. One thing with these women is that unlike AA women who are sometimes fooled by these ‘I go to church. I’m the man. You walk 3 steps behind me because Jesus’ types, African women only play along IF it’s worth it to her.

Diapora women might be a little more open to that traditional family model but they don’t tend to be enamored of the ‘Me Tarzan, You Jane’ submissive woman/male head that many black American men crave either. Lots of my international students who black mothers who are actively practicing doctors, lawyers, scientists and scholars with what appear to be egalitarian marriages to me.

Men like Maurice are also NOT YOUR FRIEND, Chris. I know you keep him around again because you don’t want a page devoid of black men and also because you like his conservative streak but reread these comments:

“I dont have an issue with IR dating, but the majority of native born black women are unmarriagiable.”

“It would seem that the reason that black men are not being men is because of the government.”

“As women care more about “what is” vs “why” I am inclined to feel that huge problem in our race is our false sense of equality”

People have the right to whatever opinions they want, and you have the right, of course, to keep you who like on your friends list but know what they are here for. I myself do not share Chris and other women’s SAHM dreams but if that’s what a black women wants with her man fine. I wasn’t looking for a man to ‘take care of me’ in the way some other women might me but that’s okay. I got what I wanted and so did Chris. I have a sneaking suspicion NEITHER of us would have EVER passed muster if we were focusing only on the pool of Maurieces and Miguels. Women who are reading along silently, don’t fall for the OKEYDOKE. To men like this we are ALL ‘umarriageable’ so just do what they say and DO NOT ENGAGE.

——–
Then he replied in an angry response…

“Ebony; its women like you that are causing the problems in our race. I can respect Christelyn Russell-Karazin because she is clear that she wanted a provider husband. I have no issue with her marrying a man that meets her expectations. But I hate the fact that women of your ilk are the ones keeping our culture from being a patriarchy when that is what you women want. You women attempt to control the race and to limit the power of black males then go and marry non-black men that were brought up in patriarchy system. I cant blame black women for wanting non-black men, but I blame you for sabotaging our culture and turning it into a matriarchy. I blame you for driving the wedge between black men and black women. This is why I will not vote democrat anymore; it has made black women confused and paradoxical. My whole life I was taught to be passive, to try and equalize everything, and it does not work. If you want better men than let us men raise men. Let us lead our race, get out of the way, and stop shoving your own subconsciousness onto us.”

———-

Amongst this rant by the so-called “good black man” whom black women outright REFUSED to let lead, he received one “like,” by a so-called non-black “good guy.” He jumped into the fray to complain about how the government is at fault: “The government has become the father in too many homes. In any home that’s subsidized in 4 or more ways, there’s never a father around and there is no desire for a father to be around. They get pushed away.” Meanwhile, this man has contributed to the out-of-wedlock chaos in the black community by siring not one, but two out-out-wedlock children with black women. This “man” allowed his seed to runneth over unbridled and unconstrained without benefit of marriage with either woman and then had the nerve to complain that the first baby mama put him through hell while he fought to be a father. “They tell the guys it’s not theirs so they won’t be involved. Then you have to file for a DNA test to prove it’s yours. Then you have to fight for custody because she’ll lose her benefits if you get too involved. So the guys miss out on their children’s birth, they have some dumb name with the mother’s last name, they tell you it’s not yours, etc. It’s an uphill battle.” Really? REALLY?! But then he did it again with ANOTHER woman he’s not married to. They’re together “for now,” but I’ll not lie and say I don’t see a slow train wreck coming.

So there you have it, the trifecta of alleged “good guys.” One is married to a black woman but refuses to acknowledge the dating/marriage disparity in the black community. The other is a powerless, self-absorbed, entitled man-child who thinks that because he did the bare minimum of what many men of other races do, he’s entitled to the complete and utter submission and worship from black women. Then we have the white guy, who’s contributing to the out-of-wedlock rate while claiming no responsibility for his part in the mess HE helped create.

Three men who say they are good. Three types of men black women should stay the hell away from.

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Wake Up, Black Women! IRR “Permission” Is Never Coming! http://www.beyondblackwhite.com/wake-black-women-irr-permission-never-coming/ http://www.beyondblackwhite.com/wake-black-women-irr-permission-never-coming/#comments Mon, 29 Sep 2014 19:31:43 +0000 http://www.beyondblackwhite.com/?p=33535   By Toni First of all, HEEEEY! I have been gone for awhile, I know. I wish I could write more of these articles, but I have been super busy. Some of you know why that is, but if you don’t, I am making preparations to travel abroad next year. I expect to touch down […]

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By

Toni

interracial couple relaxing in lounge

First of all, HEEEEY!

I have been gone for awhile, I know. I wish I could write more of these articles, but I have been super busy. Some of you know why that is, but if you don’t, I am making preparations to travel abroad next year. I expect to touch down in Spain in late spring and I am both excited and terrified and I can’t wait to start this new chapter of my life.

 

One thing planning for this major change has taught me is that as a black woman, at least ONE PERSON is going to feel a way about your “big plans”. They may try and discourage you, bring up plans they have for you at home, or act like the world is going to fall apart if you aren’t there to hold it in place.

 

Shake it off, ladies. It’s just emotional manipulation.

 

A Concern Troll Appears! He Uses “Emotional Manipulation”!

 

Recently, the BBW Youtube channel was, er, graced by the comment of a supposedly agreeable black man who seemed to admit that black male irresponsibility plays a HUGE role in OOW children. This black man did not say he would dedicate his time and energy to encouraging black men to wear condoms. Nor would he encourage black women he knew to always practice safe sex.

Instead, this man pretty much told Chris and black women everywhere that they did not have his permission to date inter-racially. He believes that all the problems “people of color” face must be solved first.

He then goes on to claim that black women who willingly marry white men must secretly hate themselves and be fans of white supremacy.

 

…..

 

UN-FREAKING-BELIEVABLE.

 

But then, it isn’t.

Rather than see black women loved and taken care of by ANY man, regardless of his racial or ethnic background, these men would rather tell black women to waste away in the corner alone or with their OOW children in tow. These men tell black women it is THEIR responsibility to fix the world, fight white racism, and then to wait around until black men are “good and ready” to marry them.

Only when black women have completed the labors of Hercules can they hope for that happy ending. Notice I said “hope”. Even after all that, there is nothing definite.

Black men like this feel perfectly entitled to say this to black women because for far too long, this type of emotional manipulation has worked.

 

“You Can Be Happy, Black Women! But You Need Permission First!”

Do you know why black people love to throw up racism whenever a black woman starts looking to date and marry interracially? Because bigotry and ignorance is as old as mankind and isn’t going anywhere.

It’s like they are singing the “Scarborough Fair” song to black women ,and black women are seriously trying to complete these IMPOSSIBLE tasks. All in order to get some kind of permission/validation to be remotely happy. How sad IS that?

 

So whenever a black woman decides she’s going to look elsewhere rather than continue to wait around for black men to respect and value black women, they throw up this red herring:

“Black women and black men need to work together to fight racism!”

Both black men and women are vulnerable to and experience white racism, but black men enjoy the male privilege that allows them to feel entitled to set the narrative as to what black women have the right to worry about. Or what they can and cannot do with their bodies.

Most famously, black MALE privilege allows these individuals to sanction black women who “break the rules”.

 

Did you ever notice that black women who marry white men are often treated as losing their blackness while white women are often treated as gaining blackness by marrying or dating black men? Sometimes neither thing is necessary for these women to be given “passes” by black men.

Even if the behavior of non-black women is overtly racist, these women are defended by black men in ways that black women who simply choose a black partner are not.

Because to give black women anything remotely resembling respect in making her own life choices regarding her body and womb is to imply that black women do not need permission to be independent, functioning members of society. And that is a cardinal sin

 

Your Independence Isn’t MY Independence

In the so-called black community, “strong independent black woman” is a code name for a tireless work horse forced to do everything herself because only “weak” women ask for help.

A TRULY independent woman is a free-thinking individual who does not walk around seeking permission to live the life that best suits her.

She does not feel emotionally beholden to mentally abusive and manipulative individuals who will say and do whatever they can to “keep her in check”.

How can a black woman be strong and independent when she is constantly neglected and ridiculed should she seek to establish healthy boundaries? How can you claim to love black women and want what’s best for them when you hurl abusive language at them, threaten them, stalk them, and try and play all sorts of tired mind games with them?

Respecting someone’s independence means RESPECTING THAT YOU HAVE NO GOD-GIVEN RIGHT TO THEIR BODIES, THEIR WOMBS, AND YOU DON’T GET TO DICTATE WHO THESE WOMEN INVITE INTO THEIR LIVES AND BEDROOMS!

 

 

Still Waiting For Black Men To Sing That “It’s Okay To Date IRR” Tune? It’s Never Coming…

Many men walk around feeling entitled to women. All women. Even women they don’t know and have never met.

When you are dealing with individuals who have this kind of an entitlement problem, you need to recognize that these people have massive egos and get off on the feeling of control they tell themselves they have over helpless and disenfranchised individuals.

As a group, black men enjoy male privilege. It is that privilege which shields them in ways that it does NOT shield black women.

Notice black men walk around with the expectation that they can have all the out-of-wedlock children in the world and still get married? A black woman could have ONE child OOW and be called “damaged goods”.

THAT is male privilege at work!

When black people work their hardest to bring up racism whenever you say you are going to date whoever you want, it’s because they want to inform you that you will NEVER be free to date whoever you want. For the black male trolls who haunt these spaces and any coversation about BW IRR, they are telling you in their way that they REFUSE  allow any other man to have you. You are property. And furniture isn’t given permission to move…furniture DOESN’T MOVE.

What Can YOU Do? How About Live Your Life?

 

Black women, if you love yourself, you will stop sitting around waiting for permission from black men and even other black women to live your life to the fullest.

YOU WILL NOT GET IT.

These people have a vested interest in the continued deterioration of the self-esteem and free will of black women. They have a vested interest in black women’s money, in access to their wombs (sans moral obligation to care for that woman or any resulting offspring), and in having black women around to blame, batter, and control.

YOU CANNOT CHANGE THESE PEOPLE.

So don’t get caught up in the okeydoke of trying to fix damaged individuals. They will stay broke and break you in the process.

 

The only person you can change or fix is yourself. The only life you have to live is your own. The only person who can truly make you happy and whole is you!

Don’t waste your life waiting for something that’s never going to happen. Sexism isn’t going away any time in the near future and neither is racism. That doesn’t mean you have to stay paralyzed and unhappy!

Walk away from men who claim you need some kind of psychological permission slip signed by them in order to have a happy life.

 

You are never going to get permission from black men everywhere to date and love whoever you want. The good news is you don’t need it and NEVER DID!

 

So live your life! o/

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Video: Black Women, Capitalize On Your Unique Assets! http://www.beyondblackwhite.com/video-black-women-capitalize-unique-assets/ http://www.beyondblackwhite.com/video-black-women-capitalize-unique-assets/#comments Thu, 25 Sep 2014 05:47:26 +0000 http://www.beyondblackwhite.com/?p=33555 by Christelyn Karazin Ladies, it’s time you stop looking at your shade as a liability. Every group of women has their own unique “brand of characteristics” that makes them irresistible to men who have those preferences. We have ours too–especially the richness of our skin tones. Don’t be afraid to embrace and own it!

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by

Christelyn Karazin

Ladies, it’s time you stop looking at your shade as a liability. Every group of women has their own unique “brand of characteristics” that makes them irresistible to men who have those preferences. We have ours too–especially the richness of our skin tones. Don’t be afraid to embrace and own it!

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BB&W Continues to Touch the Lives of Black Women Across the Globe… http://www.beyondblackwhite.com/bbw-continues-touch-lives-black-women-across-globe/ http://www.beyondblackwhite.com/bbw-continues-touch-lives-black-women-across-globe/#comments Mon, 22 Sep 2014 19:03:11 +0000 http://www.beyondblackwhite.com/?p=33479 It’s not always easy to keep the lights on in this joint, but when I get notes like I received over the weekend, I know that no matter what, we here at BB&W have an important job to do. This isn’t just another frivolous blog full of celebrity gossip and ratchet videos. We are a […]

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It’s not always easy to keep the lights on in this joint, but when I get notes like I received over the weekend, I know that no matter what, we here at BB&W have an important job to do. This isn’t just another frivolous blog full of celebrity gossip and ratchet videos. We are a COMMUNITY that inspires critical thought and positive change.

Take a read from a young lady in France…

Hello Mrs Karazin
My name is Amina

i am a french black woman so my english will be quite messy i just wanted to thank you because since i have discovered your site my eyes got open;

I am 30 years Old and since 2007 in France many black men are berating black women, saying that we are ugly and we wear fake hair, and they pit us against the other colours of women, telling them that we black women are jealous and we want to brutalize them because we they are “stealing” them from us;

When i discovered your site in 2013 i stopped considering black men as the Prize;

Now to me ,the Prize is a good man who will love me, respest me and want to protect me;

and as i started to get thinner, and to stop using skin lightening products and weves and i went natural, doing a big chop , started using make up, white, asian and northern african men act like gentlemen to me, black men notice that and start to be jealous; i am showing your site to my friends and they love it;

I have become friendlier with white women to show them that we are not a bunch of masculine brutes;

i have noticed that even if you are talking about AA black women, you are not in the “if you are not american get out of here “mode so i thank you for that.

Merci madame et Gros bisous

 

I especially like this last line: “i have noticed that even if you are talking about AA black women, you are not in the “if you are not american get out of here “mode so i thank you for that.” It is my opinion that bloggers who are steadily drawing divisive lines between American black women versus non-American black women is misguided. Empowerment of black women is empowerment of black women, period.

And update from a reader that I did a video response…

It has almost been two years since I wrote to you as the “College Girl” who asks “Why Do I Always Have to Be the Wing Woman?” The advice that came pouring out, I took to heart and began changing my outlook on myself and on the world around me.  I can now say, that I am no longer the Wing Woman, unless I choose to be.
Since writing that letter, I have graduated from a great college, have experienced two successful/positive, short-term romantic relationships with non-black men (which ended due to my constant need to travel), have traveled to 11 countries and am currently living in my 12th for the next year….Vietnam!  You’ve even inspired me to start making my own blog about be a young woman of color and traveling in South East Asia.
I just wanted to thank you and your blog for giving that extra bit of confidence to a young black woman navigating the world: professionally, romantically, and personally.
Sincerely,
“D”
Ps, I’ve included a couple photos so you know my face haha….from awkward duck to a young lady…or so I hope!
Take a look at this classy lady!
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Not many people outside of people in the healing professions can claim their work literally changes peoples’ lives. And it’s not just MY work–it’s OUR work. It’s YOUR support, your comments, you telling your friends and so on and so on that the word is getting out. There literally is no other blog in existence like this on the web, and I’ll spend my last penny to keep the lights on.

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Shonda Rhimes Hands NY Times WW Writer Her Hindquarters on Social Media http://www.beyondblackwhite.com/shonda-rhimes-hands-ny-times-ww-writer-hindquarters-social-media/ http://www.beyondblackwhite.com/shonda-rhimes-hands-ny-times-ww-writer-hindquarters-social-media/#comments Fri, 19 Sep 2014 21:11:46 +0000 http://www.beyondblackwhite.com/?p=33436 You’d think one of the writers of the illustrious New York Times would cross-check her information before she threw major shade on Shonda Rhimes, one of the most powerful African American women in Hollywood. Apparently Alessandra Stanley is not a fan of Rhimes’ new brain child, How to Get Away with Murder, and specifically it’s star character, […]

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You’d think one of the writers of the illustrious New York Times would cross-check her information before she threw major shade on Shonda Rhimes, one of the most powerful African American women in Hollywood. Apparently Alessandra Stanley is not a fan of Rhimes’ new brain child, How to Get Away with Murder, and specifically it’s star character, played by Viola Davis. Stanley opens her piece with, “When Shonda Rhimes writes her autobiography, it should be called “How to Get Away With Being an Angry Black Woman.”

But why would she say that? Well, because all of Rhimes’ hit shows depicts black women with layers, you know, like most humans.

The writer goes on…

Ms. Rhimes has embraced the trite but persistent caricature of the Angry Black Woman, recast it in her own image and made it enviable. She has almost single-handedly trampled a taboo even Michelle Obama couldn’t break.

Her heroines are not at all like the bossy, sassy, salt-of-the-earth working-class women who have been scolding and uh-uh-ing on screen ever since Esther Rolle played Florida, the maid on “Maude.”

I wonder…and this is just me thinking out loud…if much of this hand-wringing is because some folks are starting to be uncomfortable about seeing powerful black women being the objects of sexual desire by any man, but especially a white man.

Let’s be honest. Many white women are comfortable with the exact caricature Stanley describes. If we’re fat, loud, sexless and putting everyone else above our own needs like good little mammies, then black women aren’t a threat. I guess what’s even more ghastly is that Rhimes is using her sizable clout to display a non-mixed, darker skinned black woman who is imperfect and has an actual sex drive. OH! The horror.

21JPSHONDA2-articleLarge

What on earth will the world do if the collective male gaze no longer rests on black women that look like white women dipped in chocolate?!

Well Shonda got the last words on that slick diss, and went to Twitter. Apparently the NY Times reporter didn’t even get that the writer of the latest show, a white gay man, right.

Thanks for throwing shade on Shonda, Alessandra. Now I’ll be sure to set my DVR to HTGAWM.

Get ready, folks. This is just the beginning.

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Iyanla Can NOT Fix This Man’s Life! I Just #Cant with These Silly Women Who Think They’re “Special!” http://www.beyondblackwhite.com/iyanla-can-fix-mans-life-just-cant-silly-women-think-theyre-special/ http://www.beyondblackwhite.com/iyanla-can-fix-mans-life-just-cant-silly-women-think-theyre-special/#comments Thu, 04 Sep 2014 02:55:47 +0000 http://www.beyondblackwhite.com/?p=32944 I don’t have words to describe how DISGUSTED I was when I saw the upcoming preview of the new season of Iyanla’s “Fix My Life.” Iyanla will *attempt* to fix the life of a man who has fathered 34 children by 17 different women. I’m sorry, but no amount of psychological sorcery can fix this […]

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I don’t have words to describe how DISGUSTED I was when I saw the upcoming preview of the new season of Iyanla’s “Fix My Life.” Iyanla will *attempt* to fix the life of a man who has fathered 34 children by 17 different women.

I’m sorry, but no amount of psychological sorcery can fix this man, or the silly women dumb enough to think that *they* were going to be “the one” to change this walking, talking, failed abortion of a man. And unfortunately, there’s probably little help for these women who should have, had to have, DEFINITELY KNEW he had a stable of baby mamas and STILL agreed to have his children, MULTIPLE TIMES. There is NO fixing this. You know what else won’t, can’t be fixed?! The lives of those 34 children, that’s who! These people are so especially, spectacularly SELFISH that it makes me so mad I could spit big fat green loogies (preferably in this ‘Ray-Ray’s’ face)!!

What is it about THIS man that makes his penis so magical that mere condoms can’t hold him?

Can someone please, please PLEASE explain to me the mentality that enables this to happen in NO OTHER COMMUNITY but ours? (And don’t come up in here and talk about cult Mormons or Muslims with multiple wives, cuz they TAKE CARE of their kids and wives!!!)

Do ya’ll realize how DUMB and INFANTILE it makes black men look…if you can’t have command of your ‘joy stick’ how are you gonna command anything?! Go back to your mama’s basement and stuff those envelopes, Leroy!!

And these ladies aren’t off the hook, either. Talk about seeing a disaster and walking right on the train tracks, prostrate, BEGGING to be trampled. You are NOT special! Your vagina will not be the magical salve to change this short-bus-riding, sorry excuse for a man!!!

Oh and you know what else is crazy? I’m hearing certain “cult personalities” with multiple children peppered throughout the BC advising black men to not date women with kids. Hypocrites, much?

The post Iyanla Can NOT Fix This Man’s Life! I Just #Cant with These Silly Women Who Think They’re “Special!” appeared first on Beyond Black & White.

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