Beyond Black & White http://www.beyondblackwhite.com Chronicles, Musings and Debates about Interracial & Intercultural Relationships Tue, 15 May 2018 04:26:34 +0000 en-US hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=4.9.5 Jamele Hill and How Black Women Police and Shame Other Black Women http://www.beyondblackwhite.com/jamele-hill-black-women-police-shame-black-women/ http://www.beyondblackwhite.com/jamele-hill-black-women-police-shame-black-women/#comments Mon, 11 Dec 2017 03:19:22 +0000 http://www.beyondblackwhite.com/?p=43653 Let me first open by saying that I am no fan of Stacy Dash. Frankly, she confuses me. She seems a bit…”off.” But I have to jump in to give my two cents that sports caster Jamele Hill, who seems to be doing her VERY BEST to martyr herself and lose her job by her […]

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Let me first open by saying that I am no fan of Stacy Dash. Frankly, she confuses me. She seems a bit…”off.” But I have to jump in to give my two cents that sports caster Jamele Hill, who seems to be doing her VERY BEST to martyr herself and lose her job by her constant racial commentary. I’ve been mostly unbothered about it  till now, but her seeking out Stacy Dash because it appears she might be in a black movie produced by her cousin is just tacky and constitutes bullying.

From Madame Noire:

Sportscaster Jemele Hill finds it funny how Stacey Dash can now be apart of an upcoming black film but when it came to black matters she was against us. Stacey Dash is supposedly slated to star in her cousin Damon Dash’s upcoming film Honor Up alongside Cam’ron. Hill called the Clueless actress out in a series of tweets saying that Dash was running back to black culture to find some work after being against us during her tenure at FOX News.

What is it about black folks with absolutely no power to enforce such things coming out and saying that if you don’t tow the party line you will not be welcomed back to Big Mama’s House? Back from what? Were Stacey and Jamele shopping or drinking buddies or something? What, exactly, can Jamele or her ilk DO to her?

But that doesn’t keep them from trying. Stacey is black, and she will BE black, whether you like her politics or not. She will BE BLACK, no matter how stupid you think she is. You, Jamele, are not the gatekeeper of blackness, and you’d do well to watch how much you get involved in these issues before ESPN grows tired of you. Because the same black community you’re caping so hard for right now aren’t going to have ESPN money to pay you like that. How is it appropriate that the company allows this foolishness? This is straight up bullying. She is using her sizable platform to shame another black woman and get a Scooby Snack and a pat on the head! She’s no better than a high school mean girl, and black media has been been lapping it up like the eager gang who loves to gather for a good roasting. I’m looking at your Madame Noire. I see you, The Grio. How immature are all of ya’ll?!

It’s 2017, and there is NO RULE that says that black women must be the Borg Collective, and it’s high time that we should SHAMING each other for not doing what the collective says we should. We all got to eat the same? Listen to the same soul-killing music? Like the same kind of men? Cackle to the same jokes??

Listen…the black community as a collective threw me out a looooong time ago. Apparently telling black women they should expand their options and choose character over color and maybe think first about having illegitimate babies without a father will get your black card permanently revoked.

But guess what? I’m still married and have a great family. I still have friends who love me. I still have meaningful work that literally changes people’s lives for the better. My family still loves me, and I’m still invited to all the barbecues. I have absolutely no care to give about what random black folks say about whether I or Stacey are “worthy” to be associated with blackness. What has that membership really gotten us, anyway?

It’s enough that black men attempt to bully and guilt black women to fall in line, but let’s not forget the BLACK WOMAN who is there, always watching, ready to enforce the interests of the black collective, which is often in service to black men over black women.

Follow Christelyn on Instagram and Twitter, and subscribe to our You Tube channel. And if you want to be a little more about this online dating thing, InterracialDatingCentral is the official dating site for this blog

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Insecure Actress Has a Whole Lot of Sex on TV; Still a Virgin IRL http://www.beyondblackwhite.com/insecure-actress-whole-lot-sex-tv-still-virgin-irl/ http://www.beyondblackwhite.com/insecure-actress-whole-lot-sex-tv-still-virgin-irl/#comments Fri, 25 Aug 2017 16:34:18 +0000 http://www.beyondblackwhite.com/?p=43152 Nigerian born actress, Yvonne Orji, who plays a women who has a lot of sex on Insecure recently revealed (again) that she’s a 33-year-old virgin and proud of it! After all, non-psychopaths can play serial killers, law-abiding actors can play gangsters, chaste women can play sexually-liberated women. I’ve gotten a few notes from fans over the years […]

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Nigerian born actress, Yvonne Orji, who plays a women who has a lot of sex on Insecure recently revealed (again) that she’s a 33-year-old virgin and proud of it!

After all, non-psychopaths can play serial killers, law-abiding actors can play gangsters, chaste women can play sexually-liberated women.

I’ve gotten a few notes from fans over the years from women and men who have been virgins well into their 20’s and 30’s and have felt shame or insecurity around that status, and Orji serves as a great role model.

Of course some folks in social media are judging her choice harshly.

In this day and age, when sex comes so cheaply via Bumble and Tinder I can only respect her decision.

Sure; some people remain asexual because they’re not interested in sex. But I doubt that’s the case. She’s waiting to get married, and that’s her choice. Feminism is about choice, right?

On the other hand, I’m wondering how you work in “I’m a virgin” in celebrity interviews without it seeming awkward…meh.

Follow Christelyn on Instagram and Twitter, and subscribe to our You Tube channel. And if you want to be a little more about this online dating thing, InterracialDatingCentral is the official dating site for this blog

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Company Claims Penis Patch Corals the Kids. Would You Trust It? http://www.beyondblackwhite.com/company-claims-penis-patch-corals-kids-trust/ http://www.beyondblackwhite.com/company-claims-penis-patch-corals-kids-trust/#comments Wed, 02 Aug 2017 00:27:43 +0000 http://www.beyondblackwhite.com/?p=42995 There’s an innovative new product that claims a patch applied to a man’s urethra before sex can prevent sperm from escaping while simultaneously allowing men to go “bare backed.” But it won’t stop herpes, so…what’s the point? JifTip the Diktip wants men to basically throw up in their mouth, so to speak. Use in advance, […]

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There’s an innovative new product that claims a patch applied to a man’s urethra before sex can prevent sperm from escaping while simultaneously allowing men to go “bare backed.” But it won’t stop herpes, so…what’s the point? JifTip the Diktip wants men to basically throw up in their mouth, so to speak.

Use in advance, soft-or-hard.
Size doesn’t matter anymore.
Feel everything, except Jiftip.

Then this hilarious picture…

Here’s the irony: JifTip won’t even confirm if the product actually works. It’s in the beta stage. But they’re po-pooing your worries, like that dude who told you he only wanted to put the tip in.

The point is, yes, of course, Jiftip is NOT right for everyone. But neither are condoms. Jiftip is not a guarantee, it’s a compromise — a very elegant compromise perfectly suited to a certain subset of individuals. And just like the condom, Jiftip lies at a point somewhere in the middle along the scale of risk.

And…is throwing up in your mouth even healthy? Does the baby batter just go back to the Waiting Room or wait to be released? So many questions…

https://youtu.be/AQNPCeiMDsM

I will say one thing, it might be the saving grace for black girls and women who are the most likely in the entire country to have out-of-wedlock children. But is something better than nothing?

What do you think?

Follow Christelyn on Instagram and Twitter, and subscribe to our You Tube channel. And if you want to be a little more about this online dating thing, InterracialDatingCentral is the official dating site for this blog

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Finally There’s a Name for Birth Control Sabotage…”Stealthing” http://www.beyondblackwhite.com/finally-theres-name-birth-control-sabotage-stealthing/ http://www.beyondblackwhite.com/finally-theres-name-birth-control-sabotage-stealthing/#comments Thu, 27 Apr 2017 02:31:51 +0000 http://www.beyondblackwhite.com/?p=42488 This from a recent Columbia Journal of Gender and Law: Nonconsensual condom removal during sexual intercourse exposes victims to physical risks of pregnancy and disease and, interviews make clear, is experienced by many as a grave violation of dignity and autonomy. Such condom removal, popularly known as “stealthing,” can be understood to transform consensual sex […]

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This from a recent Columbia Journal of Gender and Law:

Nonconsensual condom removal during sexual intercourse exposes victims to physical risks of pregnancy and disease and, interviews make clear, is experienced by many as a grave violation of dignity and autonomy. Such condom removal, popularly known as “stealthing,” can be understood to transform consensual sex into nonconsensual sex by one of two theories, one of which poses a risk of over-criminalization by demanding complete transparency about reproductive capacity and sexually transmitted infections. Adopting the alternative, preferable theory of non-consent, this Article considers possible criminal, tort, contract, and civil rights remedies currently available to victims. Ultimately, a new tort for “stealthing” is necessary both to provide victims with a more viable cause of action and to reflect better the harms wrought by nonconsensual condom removal.

Stealthing is probably more common than we can even imagine. The issue hits home for me, and I once had a friend who was a struggling single mother when her boyfriend poked holes in the condom in order to entrap her, and when he realized she was done with him, abandoned the son he insisted on bringing into the world. This is beyond pathological, and women need to beware. Apparently there’s a secret online community that encourages men to do such things, claiming an entitlement to “spread their seed.” If anyone knows where this community is, let us know so we can report them to the police.

Ladies, this is serious. Women has often been the scapegoats for people who claim we get pregnant to trap a man, but never even think about men doing this to women–either to impregnate them or expose them to sexually-transmitted diseases. This is the work of powerless, cowardly men who have absolutely no love for the women they bed. Be careful, and if you’re unsure, look at the condom after sex. It should be full of baby batter. If your partner won’t show you or claims they threw it out and won’t show you, that man is suspect. See a doctor right away and consider your options to keep yourself from getting pregnant before you’re ready. Having a baby should be a consensual agreement between both partners. This is just…gross.

Share this with a friend, and perhaps save a life.

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Engaged Serena Williams is Pregnant; Revealed Status Via Snapchat http://www.beyondblackwhite.com/engaged-serena-williams-pregnant-revealed-status-via-snapchat/ http://www.beyondblackwhite.com/engaged-serena-williams-pregnant-revealed-status-via-snapchat/#comments Wed, 19 Apr 2017 17:09:22 +0000 http://www.beyondblackwhite.com/?p=42436 Congratulations are in order! ENGAGED Serena Williams, betrothed to Reddit co-founder, Alexis Ohanian, is pregnant with her first child. As reported in BRIDES magazine: The tennis star announced her pregnancy with fiancé, Reddit cofounder Alexis Ohanian, in a subtle Snapchat on Wednesday. Williams showed off her baby bump on the social media app, posting a picture […]

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Congratulations are in order! ENGAGED Serena Williams, betrothed to Reddit co-founder, Alexis Ohanian, is pregnant with her first child. As reported in BRIDES magazine:

The tennis star announced her pregnancy with fiancé, Reddit cofounder Alexis Ohanian, in a subtle Snapchat on Wednesday. Williams showed off her baby bump on the social media app, posting a picture of herself wearing a yellow bathing suit, captioning the Snap “20 weeks.” (It seems she and Ohanian are currently vacationing on a beach at the moment.) While reps for the couple haven’t confirmed the news, fans are already in a tailspin that the 23-time Grand Slam is expecting — a few even calculated that the timing of her pregnancy means Williams won the Australian Open in January while being pregnant.

Talk about a legend.

It is surprising that Williams shared the happy news on Snapchat. After she and Ohanian were engaged in Rome in December 2016, the athlete shared the news — where else? — via a poem on Reddit.

“I came home. A little late. Someone had a bag packed for me. And a carriage waited. Destination: Rome,” the 35-year-old penned. “To escort me to my very own ‘charming.’ Back to where our stars first collided. And now it was full circle. At the same table we first met by chance.”

The couple began dating in 2015. This will be the first child for both.

We’re obviously pleased as punch! Congratulations, Alex and Serena!

https://youtu.be/_ClT56u0TBc

(Uhm…just got to say Serena looks AMAZING at five months pregnant. I, on the other hand, looked like I’d swallowed a watermelon by that time…)

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Too Late? 39…Four Kids…Now Wants to Give Interracial Dating a Try. http://www.beyondblackwhite.com/late-39-four-kids-now-wants-give-interracial-dating-try/ http://www.beyondblackwhite.com/late-39-four-kids-now-wants-give-interracial-dating-try/#comments Thu, 05 Jan 2017 06:03:24 +0000 http://www.beyondblackwhite.com/?p=41820 Sigh. This is what I want black women to avoid. Out of wedlock children DOES lower your market value in the dating world, and there’s no way around it. Let this be a case study to learn from. The Letter: I’ve been watching your YouTube channel for a little while. I’ve never dated outside my […]

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Sigh. This is what I want black women to avoid. Out of wedlock children DOES lower your market value in the dating world, and there’s no way around it. Let this be a case study to learn from.

The Letter:

I’ve been watching your YouTube channel for a little while. I’ve never dated outside my race or even considered it. However now that I am older and have tried to find quality black men with no luck. I’m seriously rethinking my stance.
My question is it possible to find a quality non-black man that would accept my age 39 and my having children.  I still hope to get married one day but with each bad encounter I am lossing faith that this will happen.
I then asked how many kids she had….

I have 4

Girl 21 does not live with me
Girl 19 in college live in dorm
Boy 14 lives with me
Girl 7 does not live with me but comes over every other weekend.
My youngest girl I have a custody agreement so she is with me on some holidays.
I’ve been through the some hard situations but I’m still a positive person that believes in love and marriage.

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