Beyond Black & White » Travel http://www.beyondblackwhite.com Chronicles, Musings and Debates about Interracial & Intercultural Relationships Tue, 27 Jan 2015 05:38:40 +0000 en-US hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=4.1 Update! BB&W Goes to Vegas in 2015!! http://www.beyondblackwhite.com/bbw-goes-vegas-2015-updates/ http://www.beyondblackwhite.com/bbw-goes-vegas-2015-updates/#comments Wed, 21 Jan 2015 04:29:46 +0000 http://www.beyondblackwhite.com/?p=35569 Great news!  We now have The Linq at $97 per night including taxes! Also, if one or two people take a deluxe king room, the rate (including taxes) is $82. If a 3rd or 4th person is staying in the room at The Linq, the rate goes $40 per night, per person higher.  The rate […]

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the-hangover
Great news!  We now have The Linq at $97 per night including taxes!
Also, if one or two people take a deluxe king room, the rate (including taxes) is $82.
If a 3rd or 4th person is staying in the room at The Linq, the rate goes $40 per night, per person higher.  The rate is higher on the weekends, should anyone want to check in early or stay late.
Deposit is going to be $100 per night.
The bellman gratuity for The Linq is $9 per person for the stay.
It is still not too late to make arrangements with Adam Wyler destund@yahoo.com to join us in Las Vegas to celebrate EarthJeff’s wedding and party with us at the first BB&W meetup!

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A Nigerian in Paris – Torn between 2 Terrors   http://www.beyondblackwhite.com/nigerian-paris-torn-2-terrors/ http://www.beyondblackwhite.com/nigerian-paris-torn-2-terrors/#comments Fri, 16 Jan 2015 05:23:39 +0000 http://www.beyondblackwhite.com/?p=35647 Written by: Zara Chiron, check out her website here. I guess this is what I was getting at when I defined what the term ‘Afropolitan’ meant to me. West-African born with my life’s years spent across 3 different continents. I feel connected to everything, without ever truly feeling like I belong anywhere; a multi-cultural person somehow […]

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Written by: Zara Chiron, check out her website here.

unnamedI guess this is what I was getting at when I defined what the term ‘Afropolitan’ meant to me.

West-African born with my life’s years spent across 3 different continents.

I feel connected to everything, without ever truly feeling like I belong anywhere; a multi-cultural person somehow always on the outside.

When the first terrorist attacks occurred in Paris, I was heartbroken. I cried. I cried for the world. I may joke about being a Mars personality, but I don’t like violence – of any kind.

I cried for the people who had lost their lives and had been hurt, I cried for Muslims everywhere because I knew that Islamophobia would rise. I cried for myself, as  yet another reason had been given to justify “other-ing” me as a black woman in Europe. Like I didn’t already have my own challenges to deal with.

When the second incident occurred in Montrouge. I remember seeing all the scores of CRS French policemen on the road driving into the region. And I felt weak, but I didn’t cry this time. I wasn’t even given a chance to as one of police officials noticed my entourage.

He came up to us – the other black person and myself, and proclaimed, “Anyone can come to my country I don’t f___ care but just don’t do whatever the f__ you like when you’re here.”

I just looked up at him, taking in the irony of his uniform. My Caucasian friend from Spain sitting next to me was peering at him too. Not once did he address her since he hadn’t assumed she wasn’t French. Her skin colour was the non-threatening one I guess.

I did not let myself take offence to his racist display. He was hurting. But he failed to recognise that I was too. That we ALL are.

During the solidarity March that brought a ton of world-leaders to Paris, I cried again.
Another Islamist terrorist attack had just occurred, yet again, in my country. And just like the many times before that, nobody cared.

20 people die in France and the whole world cries foul.
2000+ die in Nigeria, and nobody bats an eyelid.

I guess African lives don’t matter

I felt so alone. Invisible, yet on display. Stuck between two tragedies with the unique burden of seeing them both from the same lens. Not the African one. Not the European one. The human one.

But what could I do? Lash out at the next white person in sight like the French policeman had done to me? Scream at those who justified the lack of coverage of Boko Haram with neocolonial diatribe? No.

I don’t care how much a nation is hurting. I don’t care how much we are ALL hurting.

It is never wise to justify hate, and the world needs to stop repeating this mistake.

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There are so many more positive and intelligent ways to make collective efforts to a more just, equal and positive world as opposed to further dividing each other.

Empathy, compassion, accurate history, universal solidarity, practical, purposeful action and Love are our strongest weapons as human beings.

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What Skiing in Big Bear Taught Me About Interracial Dating Prospects for Black Women http://www.beyondblackwhite.com/skiing-big-bear-taught-interracial-dating-prospects-black-women/ http://www.beyondblackwhite.com/skiing-big-bear-taught-interracial-dating-prospects-black-women/#comments Mon, 12 Jan 2015 06:53:01 +0000 http://www.beyondblackwhite.com/?p=35585 This weekend was enlightening on so many levels. While me and the kids learned to ski for the first time, hubby was out on the highest mountain. I was relegated to the bunny slopes. And, after all that effort, I have a new appreciation for winter sports–that shit is hard. I’m sore like I was […]

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This weekend was enlightening on so many levels. While me and the kids learned to ski for the first time, hubby was out on the highest mountain. I was relegated to the bunny slopes. And, after all that effort, I have a new appreciation for winter sports–that shit is hard. I’m sore like I was in a car accident. Turns out all of my kids are naturals, especially Maxi, and after two lessons the instructors told her she should start training for the Olympics.

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OMG thank you snow gods for the magic carpet (electric hill escalator) and the chair lifts. It’s about all the relaxation I got from using every muscle in my body to keep from falling.

We stayed at an amazing cabin in Big Bear, which I highly recommend if you’re at all curious about visiting. Click here for details.

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So, with all the effort it took to keep from falling over, I was famished and exhausted at lunchtime. The kids and hubby were ready to go, while I was drowning my sorrows in paleo-forbidden domestic draft beer.

While I was sitting around in the common area, I couldn’t help but notice how many uncoupled, young, fit, and gorgeous men there were of all races. The men far outnumbered the women. Dude-bros were on testosterone-fueled mini vacations, and let me tell you–they ALL must have had jobs, because skiing ain’t cheap.

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 Me, surrounded by testosterone…

I was shocked, SHOCKED by the sheer amount of Asian men I saw there; many of them were on group trips with their geeky college clubs for engineers and med students. I had a great convo with an engineering student from UC San Diego who grew up in Taiwan and spoke perfect English. Guess that’s what happens when you go to an international school from birth! He gave me a really cool lesson on communism in China, and how Taiwan isn’t having it. They have a president and really like that Americans buy all their chotskies.  But because I struck up a convo in line while waiting for my bunless hotdog, I learned a lot about international politics, and if I were single, I could have finagled a date out of that guy.

Then came my conversation with four friends–three Asian, one white–on the topic of interracial relationships. It was really cool to get such a candid response from these guys, who were in their mid 20’s. Of course I asked the AM/BW questions regarding the moms threatening suicide if they brought home black girls, and the whole “Korean hierarchy of Asian supremacy” rumors. The short version is, YES there can be an issue with first born sons dating and marrying non-Asians, but it’s not just black. One of the guys told me his parents had a conniption and three heart attacks when they found out their son was dating a “slutty” white girl. The lone white guy in the group lamented that he’s tried to approach black women in the past, but they’ve given him the brush off.

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When I told them this blog gets broadcast to thousands of single black women, all the guys were scurrying to get into a photo, and one even gave me his phone number so I can hook him up. So ladies if you’re interested in the pureblooded German from Chino Hills, California, I’ll be sending him a link to this post so speak up in the comments! Also the two Korean guys are single. The guy in the plaid is taken by the white chick I mentioned.

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Openness to Swirling Backed by Science?

Perhaps their openness to interracial relationships has something to do with why these guys were skiing and snowboarding in the first place. There’s psychology behind it! A 1960 University of Delaware by psychology professor Marvin Zuckerman, PhD, categorized men who participate in such active sports as “sensation seekers.” As such, “High sensation-seeking reaches into every aspect of people’s lives, affecting engagement in risky sports, relationship satisfaction before and during marriage, tastes in music, art and entertainment, driving habits, food preferences, job choices and satisfaction, humor, creativity and social attitudes.” [SOURCE]

Seriously ladies, if you haven’t thought about skiing, think about it now. A cute brown girl in a snow suit wearing a smile and a bubbly personality will get you dates like you have no freaking idea.

 

 

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BB&W Goes to Vegas in 2015!! http://www.beyondblackwhite.com/bbw-goes-vegas-2015/ http://www.beyondblackwhite.com/bbw-goes-vegas-2015/#comments Sun, 28 Dec 2014 05:14:47 +0000 http://www.beyondblackwhite.com/?p=35427 It was only a matter of time before it came to this. All of us, in this community, after years of bonding, will come together in pure “The Hangover” style, complete with a wedding. Yes; our very own “EarthJeff” will be married in Las Vegas, and the BB&W elite will be there celebrating and partying […]

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the-hangover

It was only a matter of time before it came to this.

All of us, in this community, after years of bonding, will come together in pure “The Hangover” style, complete with a wedding.

Yes; our very own “EarthJeff” will be married in Las Vegas, and the BB&W elite will be there celebrating and partying in complete abandon!

Thanks to tour agent and BB&W fan, Adam Wyler, we have been able to secure a hotel room rate of $8o per night. That works out to $40 per night for two people sharing the room at The Linq. Discounts will depend on reservations, however. None of these resort rates are guaranteed until we have 10 deposited rooms.  At that point, that particular resort will draw up a contract with us.  It is hoped that the resort will then offer us some kind of discount based on the number of rooms we reserve. The site meet up will coincide with the wedding, which will take place on July 7. I will be there from July 6-9th. We’ll party at the wedding, meet up and go on some outings, gamble, and party!

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To make reservations, contact Adam Wyler directly via email,  destund@yahoo.com. Adam is also able to help the community secure discounted airfare.

I’m so excited!!!

update

OK people I received this email from Adam Wyler :
“As of this writing, we have 6 who have committed to going to Vegas and wanting hotel rooms with our group block!  All from separate airports so far.  But, it is early still.
 
Just thought I would let you know what kind of interest I have received so far.”
That means four more rooms to go to lock in that discounted rate. Reminder for those needing assistance with flight arrangements. Adam is your man so email him here: Adam Wyler   destund@yahoo.com.

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So…I Got Accosted In Cancun… http://www.beyondblackwhite.com/got-accosted-cancun/ http://www.beyondblackwhite.com/got-accosted-cancun/#comments Fri, 14 Nov 2014 05:19:37 +0000 http://www.beyondblackwhite.com/?p=34638 I just got back from THE BEST vacation I’ve ever had in Cancun on an all-expenses paid vacation The Hubster won from his job. Being an employee of a company who owns Pleasant Holidays definitely has it’s benefits. We spent an incredible five days on a beach resort where the sky and water was so […]

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I just got back from THE BEST vacation I’ve ever had in Cancun on an all-expenses paid vacation The Hubster won from his job. Being an employee of a company who owns Pleasant Holidays definitely has it’s benefits. We spent an incredible five days on a beach resort where the sky and water was so blue it almost looked photoshopped.

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We stayed at a Spanish-owned resort called Barcelo, and mere words can’t describe the beauty we were surrounded around. The food was incredible, and you haven’t truly lived until you can have plantains, sausage, bacon and Mexican coffee every morning. And I truly feel sorry for you if you’ve never experienced 24-hour bar service and mojitos at noon.

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One thing that sucked big balls though was the wireless internet service that we paid $28 dollars for the privilege of sporadic service so horrible I was about to attach a hanger and foil as a makeshift antenna. Apparently there’s only one guy who runs the entire Mexican internet which has made him a billionaire with virtually no competition, thus no desire to improve. Many a customer (besides me) expressed outrage on having to pay for service that only worked twice on Tuesday while the customer relations just shrugged with a “whattaya gonna do, it’s Mexico?” look. One of the many times I had to go to the lobby for good reception, a handsome Latino resort worker in the tour department saw my frustration and sparked a friendly conversation about how I wanted to arrange the kidnapping of the wifi (non) service provider/kingpin. He encouraged me to give a written complaint, because the silly man thought that enough complaints would make a difference and spark a healthy fear of competition. Wait. There isn’t any.

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Since hope springs eternal, I followed Mr. Tour Director to his office to fill out a form. Conversation drifted to the reason why I had an epic crack-addict equivalent to my technology, and I mentioned in passing that I run a blog. He asked me what my name was so I told him because I thought it was related to my plight of no web service in paradise, and he was going to challenge the Kingpin of Crappy Internet Service to a duel at sunset. Nope. He was Googling me on his smart phone, which ironically, had excellent service. He says…”Beyond black…and white…hmmm…what’s that?”

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 Yes; those are my legs. Ha! My husband is between my legs. Get it?! HAHAHHA I crack myself up sometimes.

 

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I give him my three-minute elevator spiel about how the site is dedicated to black women in interracial relationships, and I notice one of his eyebrows creep up his forehead. I’m not wearing my wedding ring–it’s locked in the hotel safe because the humidity was causing a nasty finger rash. So not only does this man believe I’m not married, he thinks I’m about 25 years old. I suppose it was with that information that he thought it would be REALLY COOL to jump behind me, grab my elbows from behind so he could draw me close to his body so he could breath his Latino on me and kiss my ear. At that moment, I might as well have been 25 because I was frozen with shock that a man I’ve known for ten minutes would grab a customer by the back and attempt to seduce her. I ran out of there quick, fast in a hurry while he’s promising to be waiting here when I come back in 12 hours to do a rain dance and virgin offering in hopes the internet will work. I didn’t feel scared or threatened, just…sort of invaded. I wondered what I could have ever said to this man to believe I’d be okay with him being so sexually forward. We know Latino men, like black men, generally give you pretty clear cut indications that they want you. But you’re trying to grind after a ten minute convo about the internet kingpin who is complicit in financially raping  competition and free-market- loving Americans? Needless to say I had to keep The Hubster from making a scene that might have gotten us a one-way ride to the jungle with no cell phone service or…internet.

Beach

 

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Off to Cancun… http://www.beyondblackwhite.com/cancun/ http://www.beyondblackwhite.com/cancun/#comments Fri, 07 Nov 2014 18:06:11 +0000 http://www.beyondblackwhite.com/?p=34550 Hey ya’ll! Right about now I’m sitting at LAX airport about to board a six hour-ish flight to Cancun with The Hubster. One of the perks of his job is opportunities to win all-expenses paid vacations. Woo hoo, hubby! So with the inlaws out to watch the kids, we’re getting ready for some…fun. Been working […]

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Hey ya’ll! Right about now I’m sitting at LAX airport about to board a six hour-ish flight to Cancun with The Hubster. One of the perks of his job is opportunities to win all-expenses paid vacations. Woo hoo, hubby!

So with the inlaws out to watch the kids, we’re getting ready for some…fun.

Been working on looking good for the pi-chas….

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I’ll still be on periodically, but not much.

I’ll have a drink or six in your honor. cancun

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