Another day, another study on black women and interracial dating that sounds a little depressing. BUT these studies should not be taken as the received truth, the last word on black women and interracial dating.
The good news is that the general perception of black women is changing but because it isn’t changing as fast as we would like it can feels as if things are not changing at all. Slow change is hard change.
Let’s look at what we have to celebrate:
Michelle Obama in the White House. Steadfast wife, lawyer, mother of two, faithful daughter to her widowed mother.
Kerry Washington. Star of the hit ABC show ‘Scandal.’ When Ms. Washington was questioned about why she chose to play the role of Broomhilda in “Django Unchained” she addressed to need to see black women playing a variety of roles:
Look I can see how it’s not particularly feminist to play the princess in the tower, waiting to be saved. But as a black woman – we’ve never been afforded that luxury. There was no man coming to save you; it wasn’t part of the story. In some ways, this telling is a statement of empowerment.
Janelle Monae. A Cover Girl who wears ‘the suit‘ in honor of her working-class roots.
There are plenty of amazing black women around who are accomplishing amazing things. More and more black women are attending from elite colleges, starting businesses, traveling outside of the United States, etc.
One of my favorite biblical quotations is Galatians 6:9(NIV), which reads:
Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.
Black women and their allies have to avoid becoming weary in well doing, because the fruit of their good work will eventually be obvious to all.
“Stereotypes are not set in stone. If you don’t believe me, just research some of the things that were once openly said about the Irish, Asian women, and Jewish people, yet if you don’t know that history you would never know just how negatively each of these groups has been viewed at various times and places throughout history.”
Well, black women are going to get their turn to put the stereotypes behind them too, as long as they do not become weary in well doing and give the good work that is being accomplished by black women all over the diaspora time to flourish and to be recognized.
I keep seeing the same schools of thought regarding the previous study (and others) about how WM percieve black women. Either it is dismissed, and the same rhetoric concering self-esteem and empowerment is used to diffuse any discouragement about interracial dating OR some look at the research and view it as a learning tool to see how this can be changed.
I understand that not everyone's experience is the same. I grew up in an all white town and in a mostly white world until I went away to college and it was more diverse. I was shocked to find that so many young black girls had no fathers at home. I also thought it was weird that some expected me to be more angry about racism and slavery, but then I realized that their backgrounds were vastly different and I listened and learned, and I was grateful that my mentality wasn't like this. But they also learned things from me. It was this exchange of ideas that helped me expand my worldview.
I applaud anyone who rises above the stereotypes, live their lives to their fullest, and achieves their goals. However, not everyone has the tools or knowledge to get there, and may need some guidance which is why we have mentors and self-help books. Make no mistake, your happiness and how your life turns out is ultimately up to you, but first you need a plan to get there.
So what I get from these studies or aritcles is that we should take back our image in any way we can, support the Kerry Washingtons and Michelle Obamas, and still contribute, if we are so inclined, to causes that help young girls with self-esteem, and that issue transcends race. There's a reason why Dove did a Real Beauty campaign a few years back and even visited schools to talk to young girls about self-esteem. I had no knowledge of the mammy, jezebel or sapphire until I was in college and learned about it in my African American studies class. I found it fascinating and disheartening all at once but then I decided I wanted to write novels about black women like me and kill the myths, because I knew there were others out there like me, who could not be pigeonholed into a ridiculous role conjured up only to hurt me. So I glean what I can from the articles/studies (if there is anything of value) discard the rest, and wonder if things can be changed, and if they can, try to come up with a plan to change it.
Lastly, I'm not suggesting that everyone MUST become a crusader for black women's images in the media (only get involved if that is your desire), however, if we if we want change to happen, we need to take action.
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