Ever had someone declare your anger? Without your input? Well, that’s because you’re an angry black woman, a Sapphire to be exact. Melissa Harris-Perry uncovers this stereotype as the third and perhaps most dubious image in the crooked room.
Hello. My name is Jenn. And, I am an angry black woman. You know why? Well, because I, like all other human beings, possess the ability to get frustrated, mad, and downright heated when I experience injustice. But, what about that makes me a ‘Sapphire’ or an ‘Angry Black Woman’? That would be a) my hue and b) umm, my hue. I have dedicated much thought and the three previous installments of this series to Melissa Harris-Perry’s novel Sister Citizen: Shame, Stereotypes, and Black Women in America. The book, released in 2011, covers a host of topics affecting black women. And, in her combination of qualitative and quantitative research, she found that many black women struggled with shame associated with three competing stereotypes: the Jezebel, the Mammy, and the Sapphire. So, who is this angry black woman and where did she come from?
Meet Sapphire, Not the Precious Stone
Well, we’ve already walked through the slavery origins of the Jezebel and the emancipated negro ‘Jim Crow’ underpinnings of the Mammy. But, the Sapphire seems to have little foundational basis. Not only that, she is the least talked about character in the crooked room we have all come to know and love. But, Harris-Perry notes the redounding wavelengths television images have cascaded on real-life black women.
“The academic literature on stereotyping traces the popular representation of black women as uniquely and irrationally angry, obnoxious, and controlling to the 1930s Amos ‘n’ Andy radio show. The nagging, assertive Sapphire character on Amos ‘n’ Andy gave rise to an oft-repeated trope in popular culture representations of black women, from Aunt Esther on Sanford and Son to Pam on Martin. The brash, independent, hostile black woman rarely shows vulnerability or empathy…the angry black woman has many different shadings and representations: the bad black woman, the black ‘bitch,’ and the emasculating matriarch.”
Never heard of Amos ‘n’ Andy?
But you know exactly what she means about Martin right?
While I am inclined to agree, I find that the stereotype has a much more expansive and gargantuan base. Black women are seen as combative, violent, and aggressive in the eyes of the law as well. Black women, like black men, are more likely than their white counterparts to be imprisoned. And, in most cases, their offenses are repetitive and less egregious. So, though it is convenient to look solely to television images and those in movies, real-life truly mimics this trope. And, not only does the angry black woman creation trickle down to normal human beings like me, you, and a host of others, the image is reinforced in every school bus video on YouTube that depicts a violent altercation between a black woman and a black man, or woman, or whomever. Why? Because we have been taught that the image is true.
The angry black woman trope exists in the workplace too. Harris-Perry finds that this stereotype results in employers fearing that black women will be “unreliable” or irascible. And since this is a generally accepted stereotype, the misnomer has also made its way into modern medicine.
“Therapists are less likely to perceive a black woman as sad; instead, they see her as angry or anxious.”
And, to sum up Harris-Perry’s spot-on analysis of the angry black woman, she makes it extremely clear that society’s prevalence toward this unfounded stereotype has had real influence on black women’s lived phenotypes.
“[Black women's] anger is not experienced as a psychological reality but is seen through an ideology that distorts black women’s lived experiences. The angry black woman stereotype hamstrings sisters who find that they cannot forcefully and convincingly advocate their own interests in the public sphere…because their passion and commitment are misread as irrational.”
It is society’s pre-conceived (and ill-conceived) impression that drives many black women to extremes. They may retract in order to disprove the stereotype. Or, they may simply espouse it since the crooked room tells them to. The former might get them further in a social sense, but it will do little to insulate them from the perceptions of others. The latter will likely garner the response expected: exclusion, hatred, loathing, and revilement. But, they may deem that safer in a crooked room with little oxygen for their true persona. Thus emerges the two-ness that W.E.B. Du Bois so remarkably articulated The Souls of Black Folk (1903).
“It is a peculiar sensation, this double-consciousness, this sense of always looking at one’s self through the eyes of others, of measuring one’s soul by the tape of a world that looks on in amused contempt and pity. One ever feels his twoness, – an American, a Negro; two souls, two thoughts, two unreconciled strivings; two warring ideals in one dark body, whose dogged strength alone keeps it from being torn asunder.”
Sapphire’s Pathology
When I was in eleventh grade, I was asked by the Vice Principal of my public high school to grab him a jelly doughnut. Well, I had done this a number of times. And, being that I had an extremely high GPA, held several positions on the school council, and was pretty well-known amongst the faculty for being one of the “good kids,” I thought it okay. So, once the bell rung signalling the start of second period, I skipped right on over to the beloved patisserie across the street and grabbed a half dozen doughnut holes for myself too. Once I had crossed the street and was just about twenty feet from the school’s main entrance, I heard the very familiar whiz of a police vehicle. My first thought was to simply ignore it because there was no way in hell they could possibly be coming for me. As I continued my glide-like stroll, I heard a billowing voice over a speaker-phone call me out personally.
“You, in the blue jeans and red shirt. Please stop and turn around.”
As I stopped to look around and see if anyone else donned my attire, I realized that I was the only person within speaking distance of the cop. But, eerily enough, I wasn’t the only student outdoors. Actually, there were a few Asian males at the bus stop about a block away and a few Hispanic boys watching the conversation from across the street. But, I turned around nonetheless and flippantly addressed the young white male.
“I am taking a doughnut to the Vice Principal. His name is Marty. He asked me to go across the street for my second period IWE (internal work experience). I am not a truant. I have a 3.7 GPA. Can I please go back to school?”
“Law says I have to pick you up.”
“Pick me up? And take me where? I have to go to school. I am not a bad kid. I have never been in trouble. Can you just call the Vice Principal?”
“Law says I have to pick you up. Please turn around.”
“Are you for real arresting me right now? I don’t understand. This is crazy. Can I at least go get my backpack? Wouldn’t I have a backpack if I were truant or cutting class?”
“Miss, I am taking you to the truancy center. You can call your parents from there to pick you up. It doesn’t matter what you were doing or who told you to do it. Law says you can’t be off property during school hours.”
“What about them over there? They are leaving right now. Why aren’t you picking them up?”
And as he tightened a plastic hand-cuff around my wrists, I simply started crying. Not because it hurt. I cried because I was embarrassed that my classmates had seen me getting shoved in a cop car like a criminal. I cried because this cop didn’t seem to give a crap that I was a “good kid” no matter how hard I had worked at becoming one. I cried because I really genuinely wanted to go back to school. And, I cried because I was unsure what this meant for everything else. Was I going to be suspended? Was my mom going to kill me? Would this go on some type of permanent record? Would this impact my college admissions process? The questions were endless.
But, in that moment, just as now, I was reminded of my place. You know, that place where I am ‘supposed’ to exist. That place where hoochies, mammies, and bad girls live. My place in the crooked room. And as I called my mom and my brother crying bloody murder begging them to pick me up, their reactions to me only further cemented my angst, humiliation, hurt, and disillusionment with my prescribed role. Neither of them deemed it important to come to my aid. Neither wanted to leave work to rescue me. Neither wanted to free me of this snare my race and gender had gotten me into.
It is instances like these that produce those angry little black girls. It is instances like these that harden feminine hearts. It is instances like these that prove that neither academia nor athleticism nor altruism can work to defray the weight of the burdensome angry black woman load. And, in fighting this white cop, I was fighting against a larger societal vision for me. I was attempting to stand against something much bigger than myself to no avail.
This is the brilliance of the Sapphire. Not only does it cause black women to understate their accomplishments in an effort not to emasculate the men around them, it also leaves many feeling as though any uttering in their own defense will be seen as being angry just for the sake of being angry. It desensitizes others to the various plights of black women including rape and misogyny culture, single-parenthood, and statistically unequal wealth outcomes. It pre-marks every reaction as an irrational one. It gets folks like Rhonda Lee fired when others display more aggressive demeanors for similar issues. It makes a bus driver physically beating a young black woman a minor celebrity on YouTube. And it shames black women who strive to carve out their true space in the American social sphere…
So, what happens next? What does shame bring us all? Well, plainly, more shame. And so goes the vicious cycle of the crooked room.
When you are living in a weakened, patriarchal society, women naturally take on rolls and characteristics that are looked down upon in order to protect themselves from the males they live alongside in their weakened society who feel the need to persecute their women relentlessly. Anger in its women is the result.
Courtesy of my Facebook News Feed today :)
SEE the Pink Saris and their lovely leader Sampat Pal
"Internationally acclaimed director Kim Longinotto's PINK SARIS is an unflinching and often amusing look at the all-woman vigilante Gulabi Gang in Northern India and their charismatic leader, Sampat Pal, who acts as judge and jury for girls and women who are being abused by outlawed patriarchal traditions and the caste system. 'A girl's life is cruel...A woman's life is very cruel,' notes Sampat Pal, the complex protagonist at the center of PINK SARIS and leader of the Gulabi Gang, internationally acclaimed director Kim Longinotto's latest foray into the lives of extraordinary women (SISTERS IN LAW, DIVORCE IRANIAN STYLE, ROUGH AUNTIES). Sampat should know -- like many others she was married as a young girl into a family which made her work hard and beat her often. But unusually, she fought back, leaving her in-laws and eventually becoming famous as a champion for beleaguered women throughout Uttar Pradesh with her Gulabi Gang, many of whom find their way to her doorstep."
EmilySpring I totally agree. But, I think the difference with respect the post is not about a weakened society that results in angry women (because in that case we'd have that trope for women of all persuasions). Instead, this article focuses on racially prevalent stereotypes that come from more dubious origins and help to defray some of the criticisms of socio-political disparity and other societal injustices.
The novel goes into great detail explaining how black women are pictured a particular way that is likely in discord with their true selves. And, in being pictured that way, they are only allowed to be a certain limited group of personality types. One of them is the angry black woman. Not because of the weakened societal state but because of an initiative to reduce the truly lived emotions of the group in favor of coalescing around more popular social issues.
Also, the post is not about whether or not these occurrences are normal or abnormal. Normalizing angry black women's presence means that we have become inured to something that, in and of itself, is fundamentally unjust.
The "Angry Black Woman" label is pretty much racially motivated. If you're BLACK and a WOMAN you're gonna be automatically assumed to be an Angry black woman. You can't blame some of us for being mad at the world when you're accused of something you don't represent. I use her all the time in my arguments, but Michelle Obama who is one of the most inviting, generous, smiling, sweet and caring public figures out there, got labeled a "Angry Black Woman" for no reason. Black women are the only group who isn't allowed to showcase any emotion other than happiness even through the most painful times of our lives. That's where the "Strong black woman" label messed us up at too, it made people believe we were emotionless when that's not the case so now people expect us to develop a hard thumb to where we feel no burns or needles when pain is inflicted. It's unfornate, but like I said skin color plays a major role.
Authoritative characteristics are only viewed as masculine traits. So a woman showcasing emotion associated with authoritative characteristics is going to be labeled in a unfair way. For black women it's even worse because we're already deemed "masculine" in the eyes of society right off the bat. With all of the injustice we face on a daily basis it's kind of hard to expect us to constantly smile in the face of adversity. That's why I never embraced the strong black woman label. It allowed people to expect us to tolerate ill treatment towards us as black women because people assumed we'd just brush it off. It's very unfortunate.
You make great points. And, you're right, it is extremely unfortunate. What I do think though is that we have a great platform (in a modern sense) to assuage the severity of this trope. The increased diversity of black women's employment decisions, career paths, academic endeavors, and role in families shows that the angry black woman is truly a myth as opposed to an axiomatic facet of society.
"And, not only does the angry black woman creation trickle down to normal human beings like me, you, and a host of others, the image is reinforced in every school bus video on YouTube that depicts a violent altercation between a black woman and a black man, or woman, or whomever. Why? Because we have been taught that the image is true."
How true that is!! I can echo the observations of some of my sisters here that the most rude treatment I have received in business dealings has been from Black women representing their company. I firmly believe it is because we have been taught that this is OK because that is what everyone expects from us. I've even had a black sister with whom I have done business for 18 years tell me "Hey, I'm Black, I'm gonna bring it." The good Lord knows I wouldn't want to encourage her to that end.
Do we have to live up the that stereotype? Personally, that doesn't suit my style so it doesn't apply to me in my mind. However, as a small business owner and employer, it is an issue I am always aware of in making hiring decisions. That being so, could I honestly expect other employers to feel differently?
Yes, the stereotype is unfair. Does life hand us situations that would drive a saint to thoughts of violence? Yes, without a doubt. Should we play into the expected behavior or seek to find another appropriate way to react? Yes, without a doubt. That strategy has worked very well for me and has definitely paid off. Look within yourself, anticipating these occasions and practice a new response. It will pay off, I promise.
MixedUpInVegas I agree with you that the angry black woman trope is especially dangerous in a professional sense. But, I think it is dangerous project the onus of this burden on black women. In truth, black women did not create this parody of themselves. They were faced with life circumstances and expectations that were particularly noxious. And, in response, many tend to react negatively. I agree that folks should look for other response mechanisms (as I have) but, I used my own personal example to prove a much broader point.
No black woman can escape this stereotype. No matter what they choose or do not choose to do. These tropes are ubiquitous. And, the only true defense against them is authenticity. Thanks for the comments:)
The Sapphire stereotype is one I have a particularly hard time with. Being a no-nonsense type this is sometimes (purposely) miscontrued as "anger". Even in the face of injustice as clear as day, as long as the other side can paint me as being unduly angry, whatever I have to say does not matter. It's definitely frustrating. So for the most part I take a neutral, unemotional stance towards things.
Meanwhile, I feel so...angry that this happened to you. Ironically.
I totally see where you are coming from and thank you. But isn't it interesting that a situation which 100% deserves my anger (and that of others) could be seen from a vantage point that the cop was well within his right to behave as he did? Was I off property? Certainly. Was there a rule against that? Definitely. But, did he need to treat me like a criminal? I would argue no. He would say differently. It is like the Zimmermans out there who shoot young black men because they are keeping the streets safe for everyone else. Black women are in the most dangerous position here because not only are our true emotions neglected and ignored, we have little to no recourse when it comes to petitioning for our grievances.
And, what you said speaks volumes.
"So for the most part I take a neutral, unemotional stance towards things."
Why should we have to walk around being vanilla? Most other people are allowed, even expected, to have emotion. And, when they do, they are not villified or ostracized. There is no empathy for the angry black woman. And, that is why you feel compelled to minimize your own feelings. That can be psychologically damaging and difficult to maintain in the long-term. Thanks for the comments:)
The 'Angry Black Woman' stereotype is why I think it is hard for Black women to work in customer service. Someone could be totally disrespectful to you, but because you are a Black woman, you are perceived as the one who is wrong.
The Silent One That is true, but on the flip side I will say this when I have dealt with a black female employees in customer service on a few occasions, I found them curt and rude while I was polite to them. For example. I was a long time customer of Sprint and had a reduction in my income for a few months and need a payment arrangement to keep my service. On more than one occasion when I dealt with a black female customer service reps they refused to work with me and demanded payment in full. I wouldpolitely end the call, call back and if I got a white rep, they were nice worked with me and assisted me with what I needed done. I am not demonizing BW, and maybe they dealt with one too many rude customers and developed a hard shell to deal with it, but I get that "tone" often.
DUsherThe Silent One I understand that side of it as well. I recently dealt with an extremely unprofessional (Black) woman over the phone at the post office.
For me personally, Sapphire is by the far the hardest stereotype to deal with in Corporate America. The struggle to appropriately and selectively display anger is real. You can't go too far in either extreme, you'll get labeled as an insipid pushover or hothead. Strangely enough, the latter is okay for men, people just work around it as "that's just how he is, he's tough. Bring your A game." But women who do so are "emotionally unstable." The other thing I've learned is that there's lots of anger in white America too, it just comes out as "sarcasm" and an odd contempt for almost everything. I find the constant deprecation as frightening as the crazy angry black lady at the DMV meme.
I agree. The angry black woman trope is actually pathologically beneficial to non-black folks. To label an entire class of people completely irrational thereby disregarding the actual inequality they face is brilliant. Black women are constantly characterized in ways that would paint them as unfeminine, bad, dirty, or angry. And, as long as that stereotype is perpetuated, it legitimizes any mistreatment, subjugation, or objectification they receive at the hands of men and larger society (hence hip hop culture).
Via this trope and the associated shaming tactics, black women get their hand slapped for being human. Isn't that deep? Our humanness is the thing that seems to be both our greatest ally and enemy. Because our humanness has been perverted in a way that leaves us exposed, vulnerable, and excluded. It says that we can't be human because we are crazy. It says we can't be normal because we are irrational. It says we can't be healthy because we are damaged. And, the psycho-social pressures of these messages are exactly what cause women to act a plum damn fool. It is disgusting and cyclical.
Very powerful post. I would agree with you that to many (or most) in the larger society it doesn't matter how much we as black women have proudly proclaimed and accomplished academically, financially, etc. We are still seen first and foremost as black, as if everything else doesn't matter. It is annoying, frustrating and would be enough to anger anyone if they were in the same situations. Would you mind sharing what the outcome was of that confrontation with the police? I was stopped one time when I was in high school because I was dressed in baggy clothes (I was self-conscious about my body back then because and didn't have "assets" and didn't want thugs cat-calling me) and I was stopped by a cop asking me where I was going and I why I was wearing dark nail polish and dark lipstick. The fact that I was quarterly honor roll student and was involved in several extra-curricular school activities didn't matter.
I will definitely cover the car ride over to the truancy center and my experience there in my final post on shame. It is one of those things that I understand so much better now than I did then. What he was doing was making an example of me. He was breaking me so that others could see hm "doing the right thing." And, the resulting experience at the truancy center only reinforced his intentions.
I woke up and read this and wanted to kick the world's ass for fucking with little teeny bopper JennMJackson....My blood is boiling. I've been that kid as well. Those are each and every kid that I know...Disgusting. Keep writing, boo....the folks needs to hear this.
tracyreneejones Yeah, that was some BS. But you know, all of us have been there a time or two, falsely accused of something we didn't do; and more than likely never receive and apology after the fact. I can't tell you how mad this makes me that we go through this. I have take some deep breaths.
It really is one of those things that makes you wanna holler right? And the most dubious aspect of the entire altercation was that there was merit on both sides. The cop was simply "doing his job." I was indeed off property during school hours. This was the reaction from my mom when I called her. But, what does it say about this police officer's choice to grab me instead of all the other students clearly leaving school? I was walking toward campus. I could have been coming in late from a dentist appointment. But, I was walking toward campus with no purse, backpack, or anything indicating that I hadn't been to school.
His decision to take me instead of the Asian and Hispanic guys I pointed out was solely because of my status as a black woman. There really was no other rationale for it. And, to cuff me like a common criminal, push me in the backseat of a cop car, and basically use the "scared straight" tactic on me was reminiscent of the Jim Crow loitering laws. No explanation needed. I was just another black body in his back seat.
JennMJackuninterracialtracyreneejones jenn, and that treatment makes me wonder if when we try to encourage black kids to do well and excel it goes in one ear and out the other because they have expereinced first hand that weather they get straight "A"'s and take AP classes or they are pulling "D"'s and flunking out, they are treated the same by law enforcement and other authority figures and say to themselves "why bother" This is not to encourage poor behavior but it does make a valid point. It is a catch-22 situation. Many black women are treated like sappirhes even when they are not acting like them and after a while some start to. One of my nieces was starting her Junior year in a new High School and the vice principal (white lady I think it was) took her into her office and began to lambaste my niece about how they don't tolerate "attitudes" in their school. My niece who is a nice kid got pissed, this VP had already put her in a box not even knowing her as a student or a person.
DUsherJennMJackuninterracial That was my childhood. I was an intelligent child with a behavioral disorder. I could control myself, but when I realized I wasn't expected to, I didn't. And part of the 'crazy' behavior displayed by kids is a survival tactic among other 'crazy' behaving kids. Being good gets you killed in the hood, and being bad is expected behavior by everyone outside of the hood.
Many young people feel like 'what's the use' because for every bright story of success they are aware of the more common theme of 'it didn't matter'.
tracyreneejonesDUsherJennMJackuninterracial I understand what you're saying but if you're a timid, shy child then pretending to be hard will get a person like that no where. I was that kind of child. I lost count to how many times I was beat up or bullied. And I don't have a biased view toward black youth and that kind of thing either. Because when I transferred to a school that was majority white, I get beat up and bullied there too! The thought of fighting anyone, even defending myself scared me for some reason. I fear confrontation and pain. It stopped when I was about 12. I had enough of this one girl and just let her have it. And from there I never really had to deal with that nonsense again. I've always been the quiet, introverted type anyway.
Thanks Toni. I plan an dissecting that whole debacle in my next post on shame. And, to answer your question, I ended up staying there the entire day. And, the incident was reported to my school and noted on my "permanent" record.
I ended up okay. But, the experience itself was probably more detrimental to me than the notation on some index card somewhere. I was humiliated. And, truthfully, that was the goal. I will go into great detail about it in the final installment of this series.
Commentary on the Crooked Room: You Mad Sapphire? You Mad…the Angry Black Woman Trope
Ever had someone declare your anger? Without your input? Well, that’s because you’re an angry black woman, a Sapphire to be exact. Melissa Harris-Perry uncovers this stereotype as the third and perhaps most dubious image in the crooked room.
Author : Jenn M. Jackson
Author's Website | Articles from Jenn M. JacksonHello. My name is Jenn. And, I am an angry black woman. You know why? Well, because I, like all other human beings, possess the ability to get frustrated, mad, and downright heated when I experience injustice. But, what about that makes me a ‘Sapphire’ or an ‘Angry Black Woman’? That would be a) my hue and b) umm, my hue. I have dedicated much thought and the three previous installments of this series to Melissa Harris-Perry’s novel Sister Citizen: Shame, Stereotypes, and Black Women in America. The book, released in 2011, covers a host of topics affecting black women. And, in her combination of qualitative and quantitative research, she found that many black women struggled with shame associated with three competing stereotypes: the Jezebel, the Mammy, and the Sapphire. So, who is this angry black woman and where did she come from?
Meet Sapphire, Not the Precious Stone
Well, we’ve already walked through the slavery origins of the Jezebel and the emancipated negro ‘Jim Crow’ underpinnings of the Mammy. But, the Sapphire seems to have little foundational basis. Not only that, she is the least talked about character in the crooked room we have all come to know and love. But, Harris-Perry notes the redounding wavelengths television images have cascaded on real-life black women.
Never heard of Amos ‘n’ Andy?
But you know exactly what she means about Martin right?
While I am inclined to agree, I find that the stereotype has a much more expansive and gargantuan base. Black women are seen as combative, violent, and aggressive in the eyes of the law as well. Black women, like black men, are more likely than their white counterparts to be imprisoned. And, in most cases, their offenses are repetitive and less egregious. So, though it is convenient to look solely to television images and those in movies, real-life truly mimics this trope. And, not only does the angry black woman creation trickle down to normal human beings like me, you, and a host of others, the image is reinforced in every school bus video on YouTube that depicts a violent altercation between a black woman and a black man, or woman, or whomever. Why? Because we have been taught that the image is true.
The angry black woman trope exists in the workplace too. Harris-Perry finds that this stereotype results in employers fearing that black women will be “unreliable” or irascible. And since this is a generally accepted stereotype, the misnomer has also made its way into modern medicine.
And, to sum up Harris-Perry’s spot-on analysis of the angry black woman, she makes it extremely clear that society’s prevalence toward this unfounded stereotype has had real influence on black women’s lived phenotypes.
It is society’s pre-conceived (and ill-conceived) impression that drives many black women to extremes. They may retract in order to disprove the stereotype. Or, they may simply espouse it since the crooked room tells them to. The former might get them further in a social sense, but it will do little to insulate them from the perceptions of others. The latter will likely garner the response expected: exclusion, hatred, loathing, and revilement. But, they may deem that safer in a crooked room with little oxygen for their true persona. Thus emerges the two-ness that W.E.B. Du Bois so remarkably articulated The Souls of Black Folk (1903).
Sapphire’s Pathology
When I was in eleventh grade, I was asked by the Vice Principal of my public high school to grab him a jelly doughnut. Well, I had done this a number of times. And, being that I had an extremely high GPA, held several positions on the school council, and was pretty well-known amongst the faculty for being one of the “good kids,” I thought it okay. So, once the bell rung signalling the start of second period, I skipped right on over to the beloved patisserie across the street and grabbed a half dozen doughnut holes for myself too. Once I had crossed the street and was just about twenty feet from the school’s main entrance, I heard the very familiar whiz of a police vehicle. My first thought was to simply ignore it because there was no way in hell they could possibly be coming for me. As I continued my glide-like stroll, I heard a billowing voice over a speaker-phone call me out personally.
As I stopped to look around and see if anyone else donned my attire, I realized that I was the only person within speaking distance of the cop. But, eerily enough, I wasn’t the only student outdoors. Actually, there were a few Asian males at the bus stop about a block away and a few Hispanic boys watching the conversation from across the street. But, I turned around nonetheless and flippantly addressed the young white male.
And as he tightened a plastic hand-cuff around my wrists, I simply started crying. Not because it hurt. I cried because I was embarrassed that my classmates had seen me getting shoved in a cop car like a criminal. I cried because this cop didn’t seem to give a crap that I was a “good kid” no matter how hard I had worked at becoming one. I cried because I really genuinely wanted to go back to school. And, I cried because I was unsure what this meant for everything else. Was I going to be suspended? Was my mom going to kill me? Would this go on some type of permanent record? Would this impact my college admissions process? The questions were endless.
But, in that moment, just as now, I was reminded of my place. You know, that place where I am ‘supposed’ to exist. That place where hoochies, mammies, and bad girls live. My place in the crooked room. And as I called my mom and my brother crying bloody murder begging them to pick me up, their reactions to me only further cemented my angst, humiliation, hurt, and disillusionment with my prescribed role. Neither of them deemed it important to come to my aid. Neither wanted to leave work to rescue me. Neither wanted to free me of this snare my race and gender had gotten me into.
It is instances like these that produce those angry little black girls. It is instances like these that harden feminine hearts. It is instances like these that prove that neither academia nor athleticism nor altruism can work to defray the weight of the burdensome angry black woman load. And, in fighting this white cop, I was fighting against a larger societal vision for me. I was attempting to stand against something much bigger than myself to no avail.
This is the brilliance of the Sapphire. Not only does it cause black women to understate their accomplishments in an effort not to emasculate the men around them, it also leaves many feeling as though any uttering in their own defense will be seen as being angry just for the sake of being angry. It desensitizes others to the various plights of black women including rape and misogyny culture, single-parenthood, and statistically unequal wealth outcomes. It pre-marks every reaction as an irrational one. It gets folks like Rhonda Lee fired when others display more aggressive demeanors for similar issues. It makes a bus driver physically beating a young black woman a minor celebrity on YouTube. And it shames black women who strive to carve out their true space in the American social sphere…
So, what happens next? What does shame bring us all? Well, plainly, more shame. And so goes the vicious cycle of the crooked room.
To be continued…Shame
Buy the book here.
Related Posts
When you are living in a weakened, patriarchal society, women naturally take on rolls and characteristics that are looked down upon in order to protect themselves from the males they live alongside in their weakened society who feel the need to persecute their women relentlessly. Anger in its women is the result.
Courtesy of my Facebook News Feed today :)
SEE the Pink Saris and their lovely leader Sampat Pal
https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=xJjdbfVii-Q
"Internationally acclaimed director Kim Longinotto's PINK SARIS is an unflinching and often amusing look at the all-woman vigilante Gulabi Gang in Northern India and their charismatic leader, Sampat Pal, who acts as judge and jury for girls and women who are being abused by outlawed patriarchal traditions and the caste system. 'A girl's life is cruel...A woman's life is very cruel,' notes Sampat Pal, the complex protagonist at the center of PINK SARIS and leader of the Gulabi Gang, internationally acclaimed director Kim Longinotto's latest foray into the lives of extraordinary women (SISTERS IN LAW, DIVORCE IRANIAN STYLE, ROUGH AUNTIES). Sampat should know -- like many others she was married as a young girl into a family which made her work hard and beat her often. But unusually, she fought back, leaving her in-laws and eventually becoming famous as a champion for beleaguered women throughout Uttar Pradesh with her Gulabi Gang, many of whom find their way to her doorstep."
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EXwH-kjSUSs
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LikeThe result of the persecution (angry women) is not abnormal, but should be expected in a sick society.
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LikeEmilySpring I totally agree. But, I think the difference with respect the post is not about a weakened society that results in angry women (because in that case we'd have that trope for women of all persuasions). Instead, this article focuses on racially prevalent stereotypes that come from more dubious origins and help to defray some of the criticisms of socio-political disparity and other societal injustices.
The novel goes into great detail explaining how black women are pictured a particular way that is likely in discord with their true selves. And, in being pictured that way, they are only allowed to be a certain limited group of personality types. One of them is the angry black woman. Not because of the weakened societal state but because of an initiative to reduce the truly lived emotions of the group in favor of coalescing around more popular social issues.
Also, the post is not about whether or not these occurrences are normal or abnormal. Normalizing angry black women's presence means that we have become inured to something that, in and of itself, is fundamentally unjust.
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LikeWhat happened with those bloody stupid police officers?
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LikeKiwiwriter Nothing actually. Nothing at all.
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LikeThe "Angry Black Woman" label is pretty much racially motivated. If you're BLACK and a WOMAN you're gonna be automatically assumed to be an Angry black woman. You can't blame some of us for being mad at the world when you're accused of something you don't represent. I use her all the time in my arguments, but Michelle Obama who is one of the most inviting, generous, smiling, sweet and caring public figures out there, got labeled a "Angry Black Woman" for no reason. Black women are the only group who isn't allowed to showcase any emotion other than happiness even through the most painful times of our lives. That's where the "Strong black woman" label messed us up at too, it made people believe we were emotionless when that's not the case so now people expect us to develop a hard thumb to where we feel no burns or needles when pain is inflicted. It's unfornate, but like I said skin color plays a major role.
Authoritative characteristics are only viewed as masculine traits. So a woman showcasing emotion associated with authoritative characteristics is going to be labeled in a unfair way. For black women it's even worse because we're already deemed "masculine" in the eyes of society right off the bat. With all of the injustice we face on a daily basis it's kind of hard to expect us to constantly smile in the face of adversity. That's why I never embraced the strong black woman label. It allowed people to expect us to tolerate ill treatment towards us as black women because people assumed we'd just brush it off. It's very unfortunate.
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LikeYou make great points. And, you're right, it is extremely unfortunate. What I do think though is that we have a great platform (in a modern sense) to assuage the severity of this trope. The increased diversity of black women's employment decisions, career paths, academic endeavors, and role in families shows that the angry black woman is truly a myth as opposed to an axiomatic facet of society.
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Like"And, not only does the angry black woman creation trickle down to normal human beings like me, you, and a host of others, the image is reinforced in every school bus video on YouTube that depicts a violent altercation between a black woman and a black man, or woman, or whomever. Why? Because we have been taught that the image is true."
How true that is!! I can echo the observations of some of my sisters here that the most rude treatment I have received in business dealings has been from Black women representing their company. I firmly believe it is because we have been taught that this is OK because that is what everyone expects from us. I've even had a black sister with whom I have done business for 18 years tell me "Hey, I'm Black, I'm gonna bring it." The good Lord knows I wouldn't want to encourage her to that end.
Do we have to live up the that stereotype? Personally, that doesn't suit my style so it doesn't apply to me in my mind. However, as a small business owner and employer, it is an issue I am always aware of in making hiring decisions. That being so, could I honestly expect other employers to feel differently?
Yes, the stereotype is unfair. Does life hand us situations that would drive a saint to thoughts of violence? Yes, without a doubt. Should we play into the expected behavior or seek to find another appropriate way to react? Yes, without a doubt. That strategy has worked very well for me and has definitely paid off. Look within yourself, anticipating these occasions and practice a new response. It will pay off, I promise.
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LikeMixedUpInVegas I agree with you that the angry black woman trope is especially dangerous in a professional sense. But, I think it is dangerous project the onus of this burden on black women. In truth, black women did not create this parody of themselves. They were faced with life circumstances and expectations that were particularly noxious. And, in response, many tend to react negatively. I agree that folks should look for other response mechanisms (as I have) but, I used my own personal example to prove a much broader point.
No black woman can escape this stereotype. No matter what they choose or do not choose to do. These tropes are ubiquitous. And, the only true defense against them is authenticity. Thanks for the comments:)
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LikeThe Sapphire stereotype is one I have a particularly hard time with. Being a no-nonsense type this is sometimes (purposely) miscontrued as "anger". Even in the face of injustice as clear as day, as long as the other side can paint me as being unduly angry, whatever I have to say does not matter. It's definitely frustrating. So for the most part I take a neutral, unemotional stance towards things.
Meanwhile, I feel so...angry that this happened to you. Ironically.
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LikeAleeL
I totally see where you are coming from and thank you. But isn't it interesting that a situation which 100% deserves my anger (and that of others) could be seen from a vantage point that the cop was well within his right to behave as he did? Was I off property? Certainly. Was there a rule against that? Definitely. But, did he need to treat me like a criminal? I would argue no. He would say differently. It is like the Zimmermans out there who shoot young black men because they are keeping the streets safe for everyone else. Black women are in the most dangerous position here because not only are our true emotions neglected and ignored, we have little to no recourse when it comes to petitioning for our grievances.
And, what you said speaks volumes.
"So for the most part I take a neutral, unemotional stance towards things."
Why should we have to walk around being vanilla? Most other people are allowed, even expected, to have emotion. And, when they do, they are not villified or ostracized. There is no empathy for the angry black woman. And, that is why you feel compelled to minimize your own feelings. That can be psychologically damaging and difficult to maintain in the long-term. Thanks for the comments:)
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LikeThe 'Angry Black Woman' stereotype is why I think it is hard for Black women to work in customer service. Someone could be totally disrespectful to you, but because you are a Black woman, you are perceived as the one who is wrong.
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LikeThe Silent One That is true, but on the flip side I will say this when I have dealt with a black female employees in customer service on a few occasions, I found them curt and rude while I was polite to them. For example. I was a long time customer of Sprint and had a reduction in my income for a few months and need a payment arrangement to keep my service. On more than one occasion when I dealt with a black female customer service reps they refused to work with me and demanded payment in full. I wouldpolitely end the call, call back and if I got a white rep, they were nice worked with me and assisted me with what I needed done. I am not demonizing BW, and maybe they dealt with one too many rude customers and developed a hard shell to deal with it, but I get that "tone" often.
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LikeDUsher The Silent One I understand that side of it as well. I recently dealt with an extremely unprofessional (Black) woman over the phone at the post office.
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LikeFor me personally, Sapphire is by the far the hardest stereotype to deal with in Corporate America. The struggle to appropriately and selectively display anger is real. You can't go too far in either extreme, you'll get labeled as an insipid pushover or hothead. Strangely enough, the latter is okay for men, people just work around it as "that's just how he is, he's tough. Bring your A game." But women who do so are "emotionally unstable." The other thing I've learned is that there's lots of anger in white America too, it just comes out as "sarcasm" and an odd contempt for almost everything. I find the constant deprecation as frightening as the crazy angry black lady at the DMV meme.
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Likedani-BBW
I agree. The angry black woman trope is actually pathologically beneficial to non-black folks. To label an entire class of people completely irrational thereby disregarding the actual inequality they face is brilliant. Black women are constantly characterized in ways that would paint them as unfeminine, bad, dirty, or angry. And, as long as that stereotype is perpetuated, it legitimizes any mistreatment, subjugation, or objectification they receive at the hands of men and larger society (hence hip hop culture).
Via this trope and the associated shaming tactics, black women get their hand slapped for being human. Isn't that deep? Our humanness is the thing that seems to be both our greatest ally and enemy. Because our humanness has been perverted in a way that leaves us exposed, vulnerable, and excluded. It says that we can't be human because we are crazy. It says we can't be normal because we are irrational. It says we can't be healthy because we are damaged. And, the psycho-social pressures of these messages are exactly what cause women to act a plum damn fool. It is disgusting and cyclical.
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LikeVery powerful post. I would agree with you that to many (or most) in the larger society it doesn't matter how much we as black women have proudly proclaimed and accomplished academically, financially, etc. We are still seen first and foremost as black, as if everything else doesn't matter. It is annoying, frustrating and would be enough to anger anyone if they were in the same situations. Would you mind sharing what the outcome was of that confrontation with the police? I was stopped one time when I was in high school because I was dressed in baggy clothes (I was self-conscious about my body back then because and didn't have "assets" and didn't want thugs cat-calling me) and I was stopped by a cop asking me where I was going and I why I was wearing dark nail polish and dark lipstick. The fact that I was quarterly honor roll student and was involved in several extra-curricular school activities didn't matter.
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LikeBren82
I will definitely cover the car ride over to the truancy center and my experience there in my final post on shame. It is one of those things that I understand so much better now than I did then. What he was doing was making an example of me. He was breaking me so that others could see hm "doing the right thing." And, the resulting experience at the truancy center only reinforced his intentions.
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LikeI woke up and read this and wanted to kick the world's ass for fucking with little teeny bopper JennMJackson....My blood is boiling. I've been that kid as well. Those are each and every kid that I know...Disgusting. Keep writing, boo....the folks needs to hear this.
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Liketracyreneejones Yeah, that was some BS. But you know, all of us have been there a time or two, falsely accused of something we didn't do; and more than likely never receive and apology after the fact. I can't tell you how mad this makes me that we go through this. I have take some deep breaths.
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Likeuninterracial tracyreneejones
It really is one of those things that makes you wanna holler right? And the most dubious aspect of the entire altercation was that there was merit on both sides. The cop was simply "doing his job." I was indeed off property during school hours. This was the reaction from my mom when I called her. But, what does it say about this police officer's choice to grab me instead of all the other students clearly leaving school? I was walking toward campus. I could have been coming in late from a dentist appointment. But, I was walking toward campus with no purse, backpack, or anything indicating that I hadn't been to school.
His decision to take me instead of the Asian and Hispanic guys I pointed out was solely because of my status as a black woman. There really was no other rationale for it. And, to cuff me like a common criminal, push me in the backseat of a cop car, and basically use the "scared straight" tactic on me was reminiscent of the Jim Crow loitering laws. No explanation needed. I was just another black body in his back seat.
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LikeJennMJack uninterracial tracyreneejones jenn, and that treatment makes me wonder if when we try to encourage black kids to do well and excel it goes in one ear and out the other because they have expereinced first hand that weather they get straight "A"'s and take AP classes or they are pulling "D"'s and flunking out, they are treated the same by law enforcement and other authority figures and say to themselves "why bother" This is not to encourage poor behavior but it does make a valid point. It is a catch-22 situation. Many black women are treated like sappirhes even when they are not acting like them and after a while some start to. One of my nieces was starting her Junior year in a new High School and the vice principal (white lady I think it was) took her into her office and began to lambaste my niece about how they don't tolerate "attitudes" in their school. My niece who is a nice kid got pissed, this VP had already put her in a box not even knowing her as a student or a person.
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LikeDUsher JennMJack uninterracial That was my childhood. I was an intelligent child with a behavioral disorder. I could control myself, but when I realized I wasn't expected to, I didn't. And part of the 'crazy' behavior displayed by kids is a survival tactic among other 'crazy' behaving kids. Being good gets you killed in the hood, and being bad is expected behavior by everyone outside of the hood.
Many young people feel like 'what's the use' because for every bright story of success they are aware of the more common theme of 'it didn't matter'.
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Liketracyreneejones DUsher JennMJack uninterracial I understand what you're saying but if you're a timid, shy child then pretending to be hard will get a person like that no where. I was that kind of child. I lost count to how many times I was beat up or bullied. And I don't have a biased view toward black youth and that kind of thing either. Because when I transferred to a school that was majority white, I get beat up and bullied there too! The thought of fighting anyone, even defending myself scared me for some reason. I fear confrontation and pain. It stopped when I was about 12. I had enough of this one girl and just let her have it. And from there I never really had to deal with that nonsense again. I've always been the quiet, introverted type anyway.
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LikeIndiepeas DUsher JennMJack uninterracial I bet you beat the brakes off of home-girl...sad that you have to go outside your character to get some solace.
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LikePowerful stuff.
I'm sorry that happened to you. Did everything ever get worked out if you don't mind me asking?
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LikeToni_M
Thanks Toni. I plan an dissecting that whole debacle in my next post on shame. And, to answer your question, I ended up staying there the entire day. And, the incident was reported to my school and noted on my "permanent" record.
I ended up okay. But, the experience itself was probably more detrimental to me than the notation on some index card somewhere. I was humiliated. And, truthfully, that was the goal. I will go into great detail about it in the final installment of this series.
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LikeJennMJack That's so infuriating and I'm sorry it happened.
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