Got this letter from a man in Quebec. It’s amazing how our platform is reaching so far and wide…and we’re virtually the counter balance to all the other black, head-in-the-sand media that refuses to tell the truth. What is more, the men are listening. They’re on this blog, and they’re REALLY on You Tube. 

Dear CK,

I’m a white man , 41 years old from Québec city (in the French speaking province of Canada). I discovered your site a few months ago. I think it’s very uplifting. It’s all about breaking free of  conditioning and self/cultural imposed limits and this resonates with me. However, I was literally flabbergasted by the reality you and your subscribers describe. About the stigmas attached to WM-BW relationships, the misogyny in the African American community and  the less than optimal treatment by  black males. Really ??? I must admit that my knowledge of American society is somewhat limited and my knowledge of the American black community is virtually inexistent. As a disclaimer, my interest and preference for black women stem from my first “serious” romantic relationship (at 26!) which happened to be with a Togolese lady. So much affection, love and sex can create a long lasting impression. Here is my perspective on some elements that came up in the articles and discussions on BB&W and the book Swirling.

The stares : I enjoyed them! I like to provoke people (to a certain extent) and stir people’s personal beliefs ! But we didn’t meet much hostility though. I remember an elderly black woman in Togo when we were visiting Denise’s family,  that openly scolded her for being with me. However, she spoke in mina/ewe and not in French to make sure I couldn’t understand.

The strong black woman image / loud and obnoxious stereotype: Denise was quite the opposite : petite, delicate, naturally very feminine and quiet.

Family approval : There was no problem there at all, for me and for her.

Colorism: I was not really aware of this phenomenon before I read about it on BBW. I remember one of Denise’s brothers told me that “they” (togolese black men) preferred light skin tone women. So I suspect colorism could be present in west Africa. At the time, I didn’t give it a second thought because I told myself that if I were to choose a woman like I choose a car, I would go for the darkest black possible. But in truth, skin tone appears to me as a very insignificant criterion when choosing a black woman.

White men small genitals and pink d_ _ks: Woowww !! I had never heard about this one ! For the size, I will let the ladies debate about this. For the color, I thought girls liked pink !!!

Finally, due to the demographics here, it’s not easy to simply meet black women. I think one day I might fly down to a place where they congregate ( Atlanta ?) and snatch one ! Besides, she could be a good partner with whom to practice my English!