‘DeepWater’…From Corporate Life To Homelessness To (White Man/Business Partner in Love and Business)‏

‘DeepWater’…From Corporate Life To Homelessness To (White Man/Business Partner in Love and Business)‏

A real come up story..

Author : "Brenda55"

Author's Website | Articles from

By BB&W Crew Girl, “DeepWater”

An office setting is (mostly) always where I wanted to work.   I started off in my teen years working retail, which did not suit me, and would look out of store window and see people going into the big office buildings in NYC and wanted to be a part of that workforce.   I began my corporate career political telephone surveying, I was finally in an office building.  In looking through the classified ads in the newspaper (prior to internet job search engines/sites) I’d see all kinds of receptionist positions that I could do.  Answer phones, greet/meet clients or customers, deal with incoming / outgoing mail/packages and so forth.    Man, that’s easy and went about the business of obtaining such a position.   Loved it.    Loved going to work in nice clothes, this was late 70s, early 80s, when jobs were much easier to obtain.   I did that for bigger and larger companies, especially cool then with full dental, health, vision insurance, I was moving up that corporate latter.

I’d then move on to become a phone operator, you know, the old PBX boards, Dimension, Rolm, Seimens, you name it, I did it.  Loved it.  Got to know other businesses, but mainly, who was doin’ who, who’s still at lunch, who came in drunk, who was makin’ more or less money, you’ll be surprised what one can find out over the phones, bwahahahahaha.

A big opportunity came in my 20s while working for a process serving company (serving divorce/legal/lawsuit/financial papers to individuals and businesses).   A Black attorney came running down the hall to our company (because we did some of the service of process work for them) and stated they needed someone to type up some pleadings for their case that afternoon, after their secretary had apparently walked out on them.    What in the heyall is pleading? I thought.  He stated that someone would need to take dictation (electronic), listen to the tapes and type up the pleadings for a then unknown word processing program to me at that time, prepare it make so many copies, put together exhibits (evidence leading to events) for said case.     The company owners’ wife said that I should do it because of my typing speed (about 80wpm), more than they wanted but what was needed that afternoon.   He and his two other associates agreed to pay X dollars, I said I’m there, bwahahahahaha.   They did teach me a lot, being Black men attorneys, they were hard on me, their expectations high, because I had to be better, even as I later became their legal secretary, because that was expected of them so they expected that from me and it has made me a better person for it I have to admit.   I have to give applause to those men because they were attorneys at a time they were told it wasn’t possible.

That was the beginning of the ascension not only legal skills but of real world work.

Through progression of work I’d then move into insurance, which now in present day requires a license even for insurance broker support.  I started at a large insurer and had to go to company paid insurance classes which I took advantage of (you’ll be amazed that some people didn’t).   That led to more difficult insurance (underwriting) work which I’d obtained in moving up from support work.

Loved it all, after all, I’m doing office work, always what I wanted to do.

Worked as computer/phone operator for an e-trade company in San Francisco, CA.   I had the time of my life working there prior to layoffs in that department.   Fancy office building downtown financial district, had to have fancy entry cards for the building, the elevators and the door to my department.   Man, that was in the go-go 80s, early 90s when acquisitions and mergers were the big thing in business prior to IPOs (Initial Public Offerings, high tech venture capitalism).  They bought us breakfast, lunch, and dinner should one work past 5pm.   They had big ole party’s and even bigger Christmas parties.  They’d rent out hotel conference rooms and somebody’s brick and mortar bar afterward and party through the night, word.    With the exception of the law firm I was usually one of, if not the only, Black person around.

The last corporate position was a website developer that had proven business but was not run correctly in that a chairman was using (drugs) and the president was an out and out liar and would ultimately run their business into the ground, thus, deputies closing their business and us, employees, in the end, filing unemployment.

I’d thought within a short time, under 90 days, maybe, I’d be in another position and would be able to move forward.

That did not happen.


Next up, Homelessness, the descent.

Had to give up my place, which hurts me still, though I’ve now moved through and past that, and began to couch surf.

Couch surfing is difficult.  Say the person you’re staying with IS working but not provide you a key to their place for righteous reason.  That’s 8 hours.  Say they go food shopping after work, another 1-2 hours or so.  Say they get home, but getting’ ready to split to hang elsewhere (clubbin’, their friends’ home), you’re now, for lack of a better term, ass out.    I had friends but that wears on them fairly quickly in that one is crampin’ somebody else’s style.

I did that for a time until I was informed of a shelter in 2008.   Actually, a “moving” shelter, the church groups.   Should one not have a place to stay they’d go to a church for the night with the same rules as a shelter, prepare your mats and covers to sleep on, that were supported by churches that were in a network for homeless women, prepare to bathe should church have said facilities, and be back prepared for lights out (curfew) at 10pm.   One can read, listen to their music, or movies supplied by agencies that support said church network.

Did that for a couple of nights and not feelin’ that, so back to couch surfing.    It was a lady whom seen me depressed that offered space until I could change my situation.  That worked out for a few minutes (about a month) until she started getting’ on dating sites and started seeing men (whom started coming to the house) that’d stay over in her bedroom (and had a regular boyfriend) and started using these fellas for money, not lookin’ to get married.    I could not deal with that because should one of these cats get hip they gon’ take it out on her, or by virtue of me being there, on myself.    I had to split and that’s when I inquired about the shelter and its policies despite my depression, embarrassment, and shame.

The requirements of being in the shelter were simple, do an assigned chore, you’d have bed, shower, food (regular dinners served 6 days per week).

Never, in my wildest dreams, did I think I’d ever be at a homeless shelter.   It doesn’t seem like it but the descent into homelessness is not a hard one.   It took, after unemployment ran out, about six weeks for the descent to begin, about 3 or 4 paychecks away and the slide chute begins.

I’ve learned so many things while living between two shelters.

!)  Women end up there primarily due to divorce.

2) Men, unemployment, particularly, seasonal type work such as construction.

3) Not all homeless folk use drugs or are mentally challenged though quite a few do belong in these categories.

4)  Not all homeless folk are penniless.  Folk do receive SSI, SSDI, retirement benefits, military benefits, etc.

I was fortunate that in the descent I’d landed into care providing (not really my thing but good at) that would put some change into my pockets.

It was then, while homeless, this man came along, saying how pretty I was (“fresh new meat” is what I’d thought he was thinkin’), so I made sure to not be available when he’d be around.   He’s handsome I’d thought, but I don’t need a man right now, I need a job so I can rise up out of this mess, for real.

 

Next Installment – A Small Business Out Of The Darkness

 

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Statuesque 1722 pts

Always enjoy your posts DeepWater, looking forward to the next installment!!

KingsDaughter 4599 pts

Thank you so much for this.  I really look forward to the next installment. I'm rooting for you!

NATruthstudent 1475 pts

Some time back, ASwirlGirl had a thread somewhere, I think it was on Facebook, talking about "love at first sight" stories.  I chimed in that my own story was kind of strange, and she encouraged me to write it.  I started to write it, got a good deal of it done, then left off to concentrate on my main project, my book.

 

I must say that, even though it's not complete yet, DeeWater's story has inspired me to get back to work on my own story.  I may even be able to work it into my book.  Who knows?  Stranger things have happened, even in *my* life...

MixedUpInVegas 1643 pts

You're blowing my socks off with this story of your life, Deepie.  So glad you agreed to write about your experiences.  Thanks for being willing to tell us about yourself.

tracyreneejones 3519 pts

I'm so happy to see you did write about your life. You sounds like an older version of me (late 70's corporate, I'm so jealous..rolling money of the 80's.........I heard rumors of the money train..I missed that part. LOL) 

 

You are so kick ass, and I totally get your couch surfing, I may go catch a wave shortly. Things fall out of the sky and you betta be ready to jump on whatever is next and make the most out of it. Is it okay to say that I'm proud of you for how you handled the strife? It sounds crazy when ppl congratulate you for being hungry and an economic hot mess, but I'm proud because you didn't stop to feel sorry for yourself. You kept kicking and that's why you kick ass.......hehehehe.......... 

mzsunshine 2403 pts

Deepwater, your story is an inspiration to me that no matter how hard things get that with perseverance and God's grace 'all' things are possible.  I've gleaned from many of your comments that you have overcome what would have led many to have a mental breakdown.

 

You are proof that "black girls (women) rock!'

SirLoinDeBeef 2490 pts

Been there ... done that ...

 

But that, in the Southwest USA of the early 1990s, there were no facilities or money for men - I was advised (by bureaucratic Welfare types, in a office) to take my remaining cash and get on a bus going West ... when my money ran out, get off the bus and start walking south, into the Journada del Muerte desert, and to go until I fell down and died from (no problems with body disposal, they said).

 

Obviously, I failed to carry out the directions and thus, didn't die.

 

tracyreneejones 3519 pts

 SirLoinDeBeef Are you implying that the Welfare office didn't 'help' you when you needed 'help'.......? Surly you jest...............(been there, did that.........) 

reem11 1079 pts

I enjoyed reading your article. No to more mess (of course there are some things in life we have no control over), especially mess you can do something about or without. Glad you came through it all DeepWater.

ShyVi 311 pts

Life is unpredictable and a change of fortune can happen to anyone. Yet, even in our darkest moments and when we least expect it, life CAN take a turn for the better--not always, (I'm no Pollyanna), but there are people who receive blessings hidden beneath the rubble. Thank you, Deepwater for sharing your personal story.

dani-BBW 1784 pts

Wow, amazing how it can all go downhill fast. God bless you and looking forward to the next installment.

KinkyBottleBlonde00 209 pts

I'm anxiously awaiting the second installment. Your story is very inspiring and motivating, thank you for sharing!

 

The Working Home Keeper 6566 pts

Thanks for sharing your story Deepwater!  Looking forward to the next installment. 

Morenika 832 pts

I think this is one of the greatest stories told yet.  Thank you for sharing as it is not easy for most to say where they have been.  Everyone is always happy to say when they are on top.  There is a process and by far we can see your humbleness Deepwater. And how befitting that you are called Deepwater...  You have an ocean of life experience.

onmywayup 1731 pts

Love your storytelling ability, DeepWater! It is crazy what you have been through.

Toni_M 18734 pts moderator

Thanks for sharing your story with us. Hopefully others will find it as illuminating as I have. Can't wait to read more. :)

Lexi88 2180 pts

Thanks for sharing Deepwater!

Brenda55 19279 pts moderator

Even though my screen name is t the head of this story.  It was written by Deepwater. I have found so many of her posts on this site  inspiring as well as entertaining,  she does have a way with words, that I asked her to share her story and she has generously agreed. Thank-You Deepwater. 

Jamila 7169 pts moderator

"!)  Women end up there primarily due to divorce."

 

This is why I am very big on women getting an education and being able to take care of themselves, being able to stand on their own two feet. There is ABSOLUTELY NOTHING wrong with being a stay-at-home Mom and being taken care of by your husband, but it is still good for you to be ABLE to take care of yourself and to know how to do this before you get married and trade that independence for being a SAHM. 

VictoriaAntoine 436 pts

 Jamila I agree with on women getting education. having an education is a back up plan for them.  personally I am not a big fan of stay at home mom. I am more I need to work to provide for my family if my husband is out of work or somehthing happen medically

 

 VictoriaAntoine  Jamila  I 100% agree. I think being a stay at home mom is a full time job and meaningful work but I think it is important for a woman to have her own goals, projects, and other ways to make money. I know one should never go into marriage planning for the divorce "what if" but I think there is real value in having a back up plan.

LorMarie 1345 pts

 Jamila

 This needs to be said over and over again. I remember a principal from a wealthy CT town explaining that a many of the women in welfare motels (in that town) were divorced from men that basically took care of them...until...