I read an opinion piece by David Brooks of the New York Times that I would like the share with you all.
It is titled, “Why Men Fail.” You can read his article here.
Mr. Brooks is referencing this story which I feel is well worth the time for the participants here to read also. That article appeared about a week ago and was titled “Who Wears the Pants in this Economy?” this article is an excerpt form her book “The End of Men” sounds ominous but this is not some dystopian fiction.
Oh and don’t pass on the comment sections. Unlike most of the ones you read that follow opinion pieces you will find many gems there and food for thought.
So, why did I post this? Well the changes that we African American women are seeing in our lives are the same as what all women in the US are seeing, and we must all adapt to that change. Things do not happen in a vacuum and changes are much bigger than one group of people.
From the Brooks piece:
“But, in her fascinating new book, “The End of Men,” Hanna Rosin posits a different theory. It has to do with adaptability. Women, Rosin argues, are like immigrants who have moved to a new country. They see a new social context, and they flexibly adapt to new circumstances. Men are like immigrants who have physically moved to a new country but who have kept their minds in the old one. They speak the old language. They follow the old mores. Men are more likely to be rigid; women are more fluid.
This theory has less to do with innate traits and more to do with social position. When there’s big social change, the people who were on the top of the old order are bound to cling to the old ways. The people who were on the bottom are bound to experience a burst of energy. They’re going to explore their new surroundings more enthusiastically. ”
Kind of explains a lot of what we black women are seeing on the ground doesn’t it? More black women are in college earning degrees than black men. Attempts to control and silence progressive black women, their talents, assets, dating and marriage options via a rapidly decaying black male patriarchy. A patriarchy that, when you look at it, holds no real power over the choices that black women have…other than what black women choose to give it.
Black women who are earning post high school education and training and are fairing better in the work force than black men who, for a variety of reasons are refusing to make these moves. True there are black men who are also furthering their educations and who are accomplished but we all know how low their numbers are. In the end numbers tell the story when it comes to seeking and finding suitable mates. We also know too well what choices these men tend to make when it comes to their dating and marriage options. They can and do choose from a wide variety of available women.
“The End of Men,” Hanna Rosin
This story, “ Who Wears the Pants in this Economy.” is about one group of women adapting while the men are not. It is a story not just limited to black women since it is happening across the board through out America. Yet if you listen to the trolls, GAT-DL, naysayers of BWE and progressive black women, women who tend to visit this site, then what has to happen for all to be well in the black community and in black love land is for the clock to reset, for black women to change their behavior, act right, pipe down and fall in line behind the men and for god’s sake don’t exercise your option to date out. Foolish. That is not going to fix the problem since the situation is much bigger than what is going on between black men and black women.
What is happening is a fundamental economic shift that is resulting in a profound social change between the sexes. As usual this shift started happening within the black community first and has now filtered out to the general population. We are moving from an industrial economy and all of those great paying but physically demanding male dominated manufacturing jobs. Jobs that supported families black and white and built communities towards a knowledge based economy which requires a different set of skills. Skills that women and specifically black women are attaining at greater rates than their male cohorts.
As too many of our men continue to wander in the desert for the next thirty to forty years do we progressive women have to also? Do we have to deal with a subset of black men who are attempting to reset a clock back to a time that no longer exists? And when that does not work (and it will not) do we have to listen to this subset of humanity as they assign blame for their lack of success on the women who have read the memo correctly and are moving in a different direction. If you listen to our friends the trolls, GAT-DL and naysayers that is exactly what should happen. Instead of refining their own skills to be competitive in the new economy we have them attempting to shout down and derail the creative energies of women who are seeing the change in front of them and are moving forward.
You have to wonder just how a troll sites, Facebook hate sites and the YouTube buffoonery directed at progressive black women would look on the resume of the men and women that produce that content? A waste of energy and effort. For what? In the hope of stopping what is unstoppable? Again what is happening is a fundamental economic shift that is resulting in a profound social change between the sexes and really can a bunch of troll keyboard jockeys really put this genie in the bottle?
Again from the Brooks article:
“Forty years ago, men and women adhered to certain ideologies, what it meant to be a man or a woman. Young women today, Rosin argues, are more like clean slates, having abandoned both feminist and prefeminist preconceptions. Men still adhere to the masculinity rules, which limits their vision and their movement.”
One thing good about a clean slate is that you each can do with it what you will. Black women can chart their own course anywhere they they like. You see this on sites like this one where young women are taking off for all parts of the world. Young women who are in school preparing themselves for the future. Young women who are writing about their experiences, their stories, publishing them, presenting them to the public. Young women who are increasingly exercising all of their options in all aspects of their lives including but not limited to who they date and eventually marry if that is one of their goal.