Apologies for the parts of this that I have gotten into in response to various posts previously, but not everyone reads every thread. In my last installment of Swirling on Planet Earth, I mentioned that there are several reasons why I prefer black women. Someone asked me what some of these reasons are and I am glad to share although I admit just a bit of anxiety in doing so only because I do not want to offend anyone. There are fine lines between racial fetishism, stereotypes, and a sincere preference for characteristics that groups may possess. Now, every individual is just that – individual. Personalities are different and drive much of who we are. Physical characteristics are different. However, there really are traits and characteristics that a group may have more than another group. So let me ask this – if someone tends to prefer some of those traits, does that mean that such interest is “racial fetishism”? I do not believe so but certainly everyone is entitled to their own opinion on the answer to this. These reasons are not in any type of priority order, by the way. They are just my random thoughts.
I love full, luscious lips. Lip gloss on beautiful, full lips just gives me shivers.
I adore beautiful skin tones. There is such wonderful variety from person to person. I cant fully explain why but I just think people look better with skin tones that are various shades of brown, but I just do. Bee’s son, who is 6, was drawing various people and saying “nana is black…. Sister is brown…. Mama is white (not sure where that came from)… uncle is brown….” And when she asked him what color I am he said “Jeff is peach”!
Black women have such fantastic hair. While white women have appealing hair in terms of variety of color (my daughter has red hair, which I love), the hair appeal of black women is in their style. I love the huge range of ways black women wear their hair. Natural, braided, gelled down, to the side, extensions, nice bun…. The list goes on and on. I love them all. I admit that I do have some of this fascination that is the curiosity that many white people have about black hair. My favorite episode of the “Unwritten Rules” was the one about hair. While I understand how irritating it must be when white people ask you, incredulously, “What do you mean you don’t wash your hair every day” or “how do they get those pieces to stay on your head”… it is just fascinated curiosity. For the most part, I do not believe that there is any racial intent. Rude? Probably. Irritating? Certainly. But it is not intentionally racist, even though it is born of ignorance. The texture of coarse, dark hair is just beautiful to me as well. I certainly do appreciate all the trouble that women have to go through to keep their hair nice.
OK… keep in mind that I am a guy…. I love nice, round, curvy bottoms. So wonderfully feminine and appealing. Look, Mother Nature put certain things on males and females to help attract each other so the species would continue on. Find a mate and breed, right (Hey, ladies, I AM a Biology teacher…) A nice round bottom is one of those. Oddly enough (and I think I mentioned this in some earlier post), Bee does NOT have a nice curvy booty. It is disproportionally small for her body. Her back just kind of tails off like the cliff Sylvester Stallone is hanging on to in the opening scene of “Cliffhanger”. She and I joke all the time about her “cute, tiny little booty”. See, I don’t need ALL of these things.
These next couple need a disclaimer first. I am NOT playing on this stereotype (which I personally do not like) of the “angry, rude, loud, belligerent, angry black woman who will snap on anyone”. Most women are not like that at all. Stereotypes are overblown characterizations based on some traits that have just a hint of truth. That all being said, I love that black women are much more likely to tell you if she is upset with you and why. I don’t mean to “get in your grill and go ham on you” – she may very calmly and politely tell you – but she WILL tell you. I would much prefer to know why she is mad, get it worked out, and move on. Many white women, on the other hand, may often play that stupid game of being pissed off for days expecting you to guess or figure it out as to the reason why. Look, just friggin’ tell me and lets work it out.
In addition, black women tend to be as loyal and protective as a lioness. She will protect hers to the death. Her kids… her man… everything. That is a great feeling that your lady is that loyal and protective. She is anything but helpless. One evening my son was at his high school football game and he got dinged up and was down on the field. I called Bee and told her that he was down but seemed OK and she immediately asked “Who hurt our baby”? What, like she was going to vault the fence and run on the field and run after # 63 on the other team and chase him? Boy would that have been a sight. On second thought, I don’t want to know.
Even on a recent post here a joking, general comment was made and someone – I believe it was our beloved Brenda – joked that she wouldn’t want my Bee to come over and take off her earrings and open a can of Whup Ass. It IS funny and we joke about it because what it really means is that there is an incredible quality black women tend to have of being fiercely loyal and protective.
As long as you are true and loving back to her, she will give you her heart – completely – forever. Wow.
Looks like Mother Nature knows what she is doing. Finally… passionate. Ah, maybe that one needs to wait for some other time….