Evia is the QUEEN of vetting, which DOES not have ANYTHING to do with veterinarians, but EVERYTHING to do with knowing how to choose a quality mate. You can also call this “fielding,” which I do on a light basis when I present the “Hottie of the Week” for your consumption every Sunday whenever after sleeping in until after 9:30. Because I’m pressed to spend the dough for a background check, I still have to include the disclaimer: Don’t come crying to me if he kills you.
I won’t lie. First thing I do is check the visuals. I found one yummy looking guy on Sunday who happens to be a Facebook fan of the page, and I thought…whoo hoo! low hanging fruit. Then I go in. I scan his profile, make sure he has a job, if he has kids, anything else I can glean. After they pass the initial smell test, I send them a private message, ask them if they’re single, but not for me, but for someone else. A bunch of “someones” actually. Sometimes they don’t believe me, so I send a link to “Hotties” past.
This particular guy had a beautiful bi-racial daughter, so I attempted to bond over our kids. I quickly found out he and his black baby mama were together for seven years, but never married. He says she wasn’t happy, so she left. (Just a thought but, maybe she “wasn’t happy” because she’s been witch-cho arse for seven years without a marriage. But I’m just guessing). As if that wasn’t enought, he then tells me he has a one-year-old son by another woman, who he is NOT with, never married. I asked him why this relationship resolved, and he gave me a flim-flamy excuse. He also added this little doozy: he didn’t have any pictures of his son because he was “waiting for them to come in.” REALLY? Pictures take 15 months to develop? What a maroon.
You know what’s ironic? He told me he was looking for a marriage-minded partner. BWAH HAHAHAHAHAHAHA HA! Sorry dude. I won’t be helping you find your next she-dummy.
It’s always good to learn about vetting not related to veterinarians, so read Evia’s blog. I’m in the process of fielding a book, Stuck With Mr. Wrong: Ten Steps to Starring in you own Life Story, and I’m sure there’s something in there that co-signs me skipping Mr. Multiple Baby Daddy.
But take heart! I found another, even YUMMIER looking guy who has no kids, a job, and is going places. Stay tuned; you’ll meet him soon.
When I started back dating at the age of 37, I was a little nervous about my prospects. I was older, the men were older and there was a good chance I'd met a lot of dudes with kids OOW or from a divorce. But I was a woman that didn't want to deal with children, my own or anyone else's. Although I love children, I've never felt any compelling need to be a mama but I love being an Aunt. Many men I met were older with older kids or younger kids and if it was OOW or divorced they had some bitter stories about the mom. Now first and foremost I would never date a man that talked badly about the mother of his children, heck she was good enough to lay down with and get pregnant don't dog her to me b/c that may mean you'll be dogging me to somebody else in the future. But yes, a man with multiple children by multiple women, yea right. I had a friend of a friend helping me with a website, he was blk guy and he call his self liking me but I was give it up, not only did he have 5 kids by three baby moms none of whom he'd married, he'd also been in rehab for alcoholism, twice and he was living with a friend mom's sleeping on her couch b/c he couldn't afford an apt. Really, that is not screaming let us date, I was shocked. I guess he figured I was 'ride or die' bw but I'm not that desperate or that crazy. His little feelings was hurt when I started dating Matt but I'm looking out for me, not you. I had come out of a marriage with fool wm, I was not getting stuck with fool bm, wm, am, or hm. I'd learned my lesson and was not planning on repeating it.
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