Friday Funny: You Might Be a Thug If…

You might be a thug if you name all your kids after spices and liquor. Back in San francisco i know twin sisters name Paprika and Baileys ( yes like the liquor)... Seriously :(
who name their kids that!!

you might be a thug if :you range rover is parked outside you mothers house!

you might be THUG IF:you have on multible chains made after cartoon charactors.

Im a little late and a little rusty.. but here are mine....

You might be a thug if....
--You live in an apartment and all the utilities are in your kids names.
-- You start ever story with .."See.. what had happen was...."
--You think that the D&G on your girls bag stands for Dollar General
--You get mad because your kids ate all the Coco Pebbles
--You walk out side with your head half cornrowed and the black handled comb sticking out the other side

and...

---You might be a thug if.... you spend your day watching the repeats of Jerry Springer because the guy on there looks like yo boy...weewee.

You might be a thug, if you wear the tag still on your shoes after you bought it.
or you might be a thug , if you considered being shot a couple times as a gold medal. And finally last but not least You might consider yourself a thug, if you can jump over fences and hold up you pant at the same time, that goes pass your butt checks, while getting chance by K-9, running like your in the Olympics :))

You might be a thug if you throw a "children's" party that runs from 3 to ??? [sic].

Yes, that's a true story. Woman at the first job I worked at many years ago was a ghetto white woman who dated thug types, and she posted advertisements around the office that this was a party for her then four-year-old daughter. What kind of children's party runs into the late hours?! You know this party was a cover for her adult friends to get drunk and high. That little girl of hers has to be about 18 now (dag!), and I am wondering how she turned out.

...if you consider a trip to Red Lobster a night of fine dining.

You might be a thug if your hair--when not cornrowed--is more luxurious than mine, your baby mama's, and Katt Williams' COMBINED. With little effort. Ya know, that ole Superfly 2.0 ish.

>_< --{ain't that a b*tch!? All this ninja needs is a large-toothed comb and some Blue Magic. Hmph! MEANWHILE, my striving-to-be-girly arse needs FIVE combs; three brushes (one of which is a Denman); two dryers; 150 magnetic rollers; the same number of those dang clips for the rollers; THE ENTIRE RELAXED HAIR SECTION of the Carol's Daughter product line; a case each of plastic caps and gloves; a tinting brush; tea tree, olive AND coconut oils; a half dozen curling irons (regular and those marcel joints one puts on the stove) and a hairsetter...and that's just to help me look presentable for work! Shoot, I gotta special order my damn relaxer*...and I bet this fool don't even use conditioner...again, hmph.}

I ain't hatin, but just file this one under C-O-N-spiracy. *well, only Sally carries my stuff, but everything else is true.

Ohhhh thought of some more

you might be a thug if you have more tattos on your skin than actual skin

you might be a thug if the tattos you have are in another language that you don't speak and can't translate

you might be thug if you wear sneakers (with no laces) to every freakin' function...black ones when you have to "dress it up a bit"

you might be a thug if your watch can be seen to miles away (gotta have the bling)

you might be a thug if you refer to every woman as "shawty"

you might be a thug if you can't remember the names of all your children by the six baby mommas you have

you might be a thug if

your party invitations read
(Terell's coming home partey: "Ta' all my fly ass thugs and thugettes,we is havin a partey on Martin Lufer Kang street on da twelf of dis mont and ya'll awready no we gon turr' dis bitch dooowwwwnn! Bitches get in fa' 5 dolla'z homeboys get in fa' tweny.
B.Y.O.B bitchez, ya'll awready no!

you might be a thug if

you hope and believe heaven has a ghetto

you claim the police are your enemies but you make alot of secret deals with them behind closed doors.

for the first time in your life you really believed you can do anything only now that 3 6 mafia has won the Oscar? for best song "hard out here for a pimp".

you love old mafia movies

you might be a thug if

everytime someone knocks on the door you tell everbody to be quiet thhen you grab your gun a peep out the window before answering.

you might be a thug if...

youv'e never had a fist fight in your life but youv'e shot plenty of people.

you might be a thug if....

you have no job,you own no home, and yet you own a pitbull.

you have no job you don't pay taxes and youv'e got plenty money.

you've been shot at while attending a funeral.

you've jumped or shot at your own cousin for wearing a certain color.

you were on your 2nd strike at age 19.

you've pee'd outside in some bushes with a joint in your mouth.

your'e 28 and only attend church on Easter to show off your new Jordans that your grandma bought you.

youv'e went to a strip club and made it rain,then robbed the club afterwards.

your rap name is your former inmate number.

your'e a convicted felon who's on probation and you put your ankle bracelet on your infant son so you can get out of the house.

your'e on probation and youv'e made your kid take a pee in a cup for you.

your'e a star where you lived because you were featured on America's most wanted more times than anybody else.

You might be a thug if...

Your regular drink is Hennessy and orange juice
You tell all the women at the club you are a music producer, but actually work at Kinko's
You drink Alizé out of a champagne glass...

You might be a thug if you're permanently stooped over from wearing all those gold jewelry and heavily studded teeth.

You might be a thug if you stand outside the 24 hour Walmart at midnight, waiting for me to exit, so you can say: "Hey Shorty, I got those movies, boo boo!" *

* true story
*I still don't know what that means. Anyone?

But wait, there's more!

You might be a thug if...

You clean your gym/basketball shoes more thoroughly and/or frequently than you do THE ENIRE HOUSE.

Ahhh, got one for the ladies who thug (or lunch at a nearby steak and lemonade joint for gourmet *shrug*):

• If you buy EVERYTHING for a night out at the beauty supply...or just out and about in general. :|

Hey Christelyn,

Long time reader, first time commenting... but this was too hilarious to pass up.

You might be a thug if you approach a woman by saying "yo ma, let me holla at chu."

You might be a thug if you believe that Tupac and Biggie are still alive

You might be a thug if you use the word "conversate." (THAT'S. NOT. A. WORD!!!)

You might be a thug if all your teeth are rotten because you've been wearing gold fronts since you were ten.

You might be a thug if every woman you meet is a "bitch" a "ho", a "gold digger" or your "baby mamma."

You might be a thug if your "diamond" post earings are as big as my grandmother's cocktail ring.

I have to stop to think about more....unfortunatley there are soooo many.

Love the No wedding No womb movement...It's my new motto.

You might be a thug if:

-you can't name all 50 states but you do have every 50 Cent cd memorized, word for word.
-(speaking of 50 cent) you decide that a bulletproof vest is perfectly acceptable clothing to wear out and about
-you don't see anything wrong with holding your pants up when you need to run.
-all of your best friends remind you of characters from New Jack City or Boyz in the Hood

you might be a thug if your idea of date night is driving you baby mama in your infinity to the welfare office once a week.

you might be a thug if you can't visit your best homie in jail because there are warrants for YOUR arrest.

the most obvious one i guess: you might be a thug if you butcher a language so bad that it becomes it's own language.

omg, you guys are too much lol

You Might Be A Thug If:

All of your heroes names begin with 'Lil.

You might be a thug if...

• you consider the NWA discography classical music.

• dressing up at a funeral (it matters not if the decedent is Grandma or G-Money 2.0) means wearing the excessively bedazzled version of the thug uniform: long tee that could pass as a nightgown, big honkin' jeans aaaand the hat (faux-croc bill optional).

• the retail value of your entertainment system exceeds that of your babymama's/grandma's/mother's rent...which you're NOT paying (in whole or in part).

• Your idea of wine tasting is sneaking a sip from Uncle Ralph's MD 20/20.

You ladies are hysterical! lol!!!!!!!!!

You might be a thug if you named your baby girl Alize or Cristal or your son named Remy.

You might be a thug if you've got a white T that comes down to your knees, pants that sag past your butt, white gym shoes with big shoe laces, gold/platinum fronts, and freshly done cornrows...

You might be a thug if you've got a set of $4k 22" rims on your 1978 peanut butter-n-jelly caprice classic cruisin' around with your tank on "E".

you might be a thug if you go by the name pookie, boo boo, dequarianius, or chocolate thunda (hey, strippers can be thugs too)

http://socialitedreams.wordpress.com/

You might be a "Thug" if ur chain is longer than the shirt u have on...

Oh! I have another one!

You MIGHT be a thug if...

Your favorite acronym is VSOP.