Gorgeous Guys Who Aren’t Having Sex (…Say What?)

this is soooooo amazing i fell the exact same way  those are awesome MOG….. 

Yeah. I knew that reaction was coming. I suspect you'll get a whole lot more likes than I will. :) Nevertheless, I think these things need to be said. Not because I want to condemn anyone to hell or because I think sex is bad. But because sex is hugely significant and lives are always at stake. And the things we do affect our families and our community.

So, do I need to know what you are doing in the privacy of your bedroom? Nope, and I don't want to know. But each of us needs to think of the ramification of our actions, and then we need to decide for ourselves.

You know what? If people want to refrain from knocking boots before marriage that is really your affair.

 I. Do. Not. Care.

You don't get extra brownie points as far as I am concerned for waiting. Just as the people who do not wait until marriage are not destined for the 10 ring of hell.

What you do or don't do in the privacy of the bedroom is your beeswax and unless it is of some entertainment value. Otherwise  I don't want to know. 

The videos posted/ linked here are good, and they will certainly start a much needed conversation.

This quote is from an article titled The McDonaldization of Sex found at

http://www.patheos.com/Catholic/The-McDonaldization-of-Sex-Tim-Muldoon-06-07-2012.html

"We are having more orgasms, but we are losing the ability to love each other in ways that give life meaning."

I don't expect many of you to agree with what I have to say, but I'd like you to consider it. As a society we are paying a huge price for the easy availability of sex. Huge numbers of children are denied an intact family with the security and financial and emotional stability that a married mother and father bring. Women, for the most part, are finding it very difficult to find a man worth marrying. "Who loses the most when sexual transactions are cheap and abundant? Women." And, I would add, children.

Anyway, I'm going to put a longer quote here because I think many of the problems we face are the result of our men not growing up. And I think the easy availability of sex without a marriage commitment is a huge part of the problem. :) Okay. Here goes.

"When primitive men competed for the sexual favors of women who restricted their access to sex, the men had to compete for women by developing communication patterns and sensitivities to their needs. The resulting dynamic was civilization. Women called the shots, and men became more humane.

"In the contraceptive era, however, that dynamic has been reversed because contraception has made sexual access virtually universal. Men have little incentive to marry, rear children, or develop responsibility."

I'd put it this way: 

Women were always the gatekeepers of sex. The woman said "no" to sex until the man assumed responsibility for her and any children that came of their union. That "no" was powerful: it, along with his sexual desire, propelled him to grow up and learn to love. The man's sexual desire would be the motivation to look beyond himself and his pleasure to the good of the woman and any future children. It provided the energy to seek their good rather than his own. Sexual desire was the motivation and the energy to learn to love. ("Love" here means to seek the good of the one loved. I'm not talking about what love feels, rather what love does.)  

Sex before the man has made the concrete decision (and acted on that decision by marrying her) to put her good and the good of children before his own pleasure deprives the man of the opportunity to learn to love (“love is to will the good of another"). To grow up. To become a real man who is willing to suffer for the good of the one he loves.

I am sure there are exceptions to what I am saying - certainly not every man who has sex outside of marriage ends up a loser.  But the pattern is still there and something is seriously wrong.  I think we would all agree that our country is in a mess. Poverty, children without responsible fathers, overworked moms, boys with no role models, immature men unwilling to commit, and too damn many men in prison ... the list could go on and on. 

Well, now. Wish we could sit and talk over a cup of coffee. We have a world full of problems to fix!  

Both parties should wait, and relationships should be based on respect, love, caring and not lust. Nice video anyway.

I'll be dammed if I get married to a man that needs 'catching up', as if I have time to do all that?! Ignorance is bliss, though I'm the type that likes to stay in the know. Waiting is great, the reasons are more telling then the exercise of abstinence.

I think the reason women are being addressed in this video and not men (other than the men who are in it and alluded to - the 3rd guy mentions he met men who were practicing courtship) is because women who practice or believe in celibacy are the core audience. The video is designed to let them know there are men out there who share their beliefs, not tell all women they need to be "pure."

I'm all about making better choices for yourself, and standing strong in your belief system.  You don't need to explain your personal choices for your life to another person.  I personally don't know of anyone who makes fun of virgins. I also don't think it's something that entitles you to the Nobel Peace Prize, Saint hood, or more of God's love.  Now, I know it wasn't implicity said...but when they started with the 'pure' and 'unpure' it changed the entire dynamic.

I guess the implication, IMO, is that no one will want you if you're not a virgin or 'pure', or that you won't find the right guy for you if you are not a virgin. That's not even close to being true.  In addition, they are talking about women coming to the table with purity, but WTH are these men bringign to the table?

Also being a vrigin isn't a quality. Just because a person is a virgin doesn't mean that they're a good person with honesty and integrity. It simply means they've chosen not to have sex.

As for having only each other to explore for the next 50 years....that doesn't mean they aren't fantasizing about other people, etc. So, other people and things can still creep into a marriage, or relationship.

I think everyone should stick to their personal convictions, and if someone doesn't like it thne that is not the person for you, and you need to move on.

Hmmph. I thought this would be about three attractive young men who have stopped having sex altogether. Instead it's about three guys who have decided to wait until marriage, a completely different thing. 

Then the usual suspects showed up to form into two camps. One camp demands 'teh screwage' by the second date, just to make sure he can kick their tires, light their fires and blast them to the edge of space with the kerb-kick if he can't. The other camp is the no sex until marriage and maybe even not after it crowd. Yeah, we haven't had this ritualised comment string for this topic for a couple of months, so I guess we were overdue. Yawn.

Hey, SirLoinDeBeef ; are you willing to do some cursory research because I have the interest but not the time? I've been wondering whether the so-called Pareto Principle applies to sexual activity in a population. I keep getting the feeling that 20% of the population is having 80% of the sexual activity, but don't have any supporting data. Interested? OT,  but did you change your screen name? I could have sworn it was SirLoinDeBœuf....

This is awesome. More posts like this, please

Ehhhhhhhhh... I get iffy when sexuality is objectified and turned into a thing that can be given to someone else, tainted, lost.  It's not a thing, and it just as much a part of a person as their sense of self.  It should be respected because a person should respecting everything about themselves, not just what is between their legs.

I personally believe in celibacy and I've currently been celibate for 3 years, after ending a very sexually active long term relationship with a man that was good to me from beginning to end. There is nothing I regret about that relationship, and had our careers not sent us to different sides of the planet (leaving my career or maintaining a VERY long distance relationship were not options for me), we'd likely still be together. The first year of that relationship was a sex-free one (something that we both discussed and agreed upon. It wasn't me setting an agenda for him to "feed off of" like the guys in this video are implying. He had a big role in it alongside me.), and I do think that waiting a certain amount of time for trust and intimacy to develop before you engage in sex with someone is very important.  That said, not everyone is on the path to marriage and a baby carriage, follows a christian god, or is incapable of developing a strong bond with another person without a wedding ring.

I like that there is a conversation happening regarding sexuality, but I wish it wasn't so restrictive.  The whole thing is happening inside a box, and it's entirely black and white.  Are you pure or impure? Do you care or are you careless?  Have you been penetrated or is your vagina tainted? It's just unrealistic and unfair, frankly. Seriously, no one is asking men if their penis... I mean heart... is tainted.

Men and women can love and care about each other while having sex outside of marriage. It is possible. And if we're being realistic, a lot of people are doing things that way (or at least attempting to) than following the purity route.  I really wish the conversation was about developing that love and that care BEFORE sex in general, as opposed to ascribing the whole thing to a wedding ring. NOT SAYING THAT PEOPLE SHOULDN'T WAIT FOR MARRIAGE IF THAT'S WHAT IS RIGHT FOR THEM. Just saying, expand the conversation and the vocabulary, as it would reach a wider audience. 

I don't like the purity talk, but cute video.

...CJ....is cute. o.o

Jonathan was a cutie. Reminded me of Cillian Murphy. I'm glad that there are still some men in this depraved world with some kind of values. It's too bad that they had to learn the hard way that sexual relations is a gift from God to be enjoyed by husband and wife, not something to experience with just any one.

I had to come back and say I wouldn't really wait until sex for marriage either.

The thing about that is I could be celibate walking down the aisle and not have any intention of having sex on the wedding night or honeymoon. At that I could finally stop my celibacy in the 3rd year of the marriage!

It wouldn't be about God and what someone else wants me to do, but about me and my impulses and my willpower! The whole set up of that is so f*ckin awesome to me.

I would probably have a partner where we could BOTH be celibate in a relationship or a marriage! Or we could have one of those periods where there's no sex involved in anything. 

This seems really fun to me. 

I wouldn't be celibate for a God.

I would be celibate for me and my sanity. 

I guess for me it's more of a matter of willpower self-disciplinary.

I want to be in control of my sexual impulses. 

My sexuality has nothing to do with Western culture or Christianity.

In fact I think it's quite weird. Sleeping with people for sexual thrills OR keeping yourself because of a relationship with a God. Both of these things are restrictive. 

I don't think that any of it is the right way to go in general.

Why not be celibate for yourself? 

I think celibacy NOT abstinence programs can make you a bit better and more intelligent sexually. 

People who are celibate know why they are not having sex, it's not to restrict themselves it's to better themselves. 

I don't get that feel from abstinence programs and it can get way to Christy for me and it takes away from the self-discipline part that I want. I think that would be much better for teenagers anyway.. most of them aren't all that into God anyway. 

I think sex is indeed a spiritual, emotional, pure thing and that's why celibacy is a good thing. 

Celibacy actually sounds good to me. I just turned 16 on the 30th.. so maybe I'll start my celibacy for a year or two years right .... now. LOL

If he's not putting out then he can keep it. I've no interest in a man that is not sexually active. This is on my life up there earning potential, career aspirations and kids. But for...good news for those of you who are into this freaky shit! *wink*

I decided a few years ago to start abstaining until marriage, so this video was a great find, in terms of realizing there are men out there who share my values! And as I've said before here, marriage isn't about just getting a piece of paper, it's the effort and thought that should go into finding a partner you plan to share or delegate a whole host of life critical benefits/decisions. Marriage is the end result of what should be a long, thoughtful, critical evaluation of another person’s compatibility in relation to yourself, your dreams and your needs.

By nature I am pragmatic and deliberate when it comes to making major decisions, so celibacy is actually a good fit for me, in terms of staying focused on finding a suitable partner. When I was getting sexually involved previously, it was clouding my decision making process when it came to evaluating a guy's character and being able to walk away once it became clear our values were not aligned.

I actually like the purity approach, because it's about more than sex and tries to get at character. There used to be a focus in Christianity on virginity, which is basically just an arbitrary line. I would take a non-virgin guy who was practicing celibacy over a supposed virgin who was addicted to porn or doing "everything" but penetration. The latter really doesn't share my values, even though he's a "virgin." In theory, someone who is practicing purity should be aligned to that ideal, physically, spiritually and mentally.