Hi-larious New Video Series Mirrors Our BB&W Discussions!

 EarthJeff One thing I don't get about white people is not showering for several days at a time. I'm sure it's not all white people, but I've discussed this with enough white people and I've lived with several different white girls in college who showered only about once or twice a week; to be pretty certain that this is not a coincidence. I've had white girls give me that same "ew" when they find out I haven't washed my hair in a week when I'm on my second shower for the day and they haven't showered in three. 

But I've deduced something from what Racey explained. Maybe similarly to how black hair isn't as oily as white hair and doesn't require as much shampooing (because some black women do wash their hair daily, they just use conditioner instead of shampoo), white skin isn't as only as black skin and may not require as much soaping.

But I dunno, for me skin definitely trumps hair on the gross if unwashed scale. Hair is already dead! I mean, maybe white people should put oil on their skin to they can shower every day :P I also don't understand how white people can wash their hair everyday and not shower everyday. Don't most people wash their hair in the shower?

I've discussed this with so many white people, and I still can't get any straight answers. It somehow always comes back around to how I'm "dirty" because I don't wash my hair everyday.

 EarthJeff I'm hearing beauty experts telling white women not to wash their hair everyday either.  Unless you're using something all natural, it has harsh ingredients that strip your hair of its natural oils, drying it out and making you prone to split ends and breakage. Black hair is very delicate.  

 EarthJeff I've never imagined those two words together either but since whimsical can mean "playfully quaint" or "fanciful" I can see some hairdos being so.  If the hairdo is short and sassy, that could be "playfully quaint".  When I went to see Chris in New York, I saw Abiola Abrams and she had a fantastic hairdo; maybe it was "fanciful"?  These are not words I would use to describe anyone's hair (although I suppose a pixie cut on a little girl could be considered "whimsical").  That's the best answer I can give at the moment.

 NoraJean Apparently the most attractive thing about a black woman these days is the non-black man on her arm. Homoeroticism everywhere! lol 

 Maxine I just watched that episode. I didn't like the message at the end though: that she needs to stop trying to fit in with the people upstairs; the people upstairs need to try to fit in with her. What type of message is that?

 Jamila I was disappointed when she said that.  Hopefully future episodes will show that she's wrong.

 Jamila  Maxine It was a mixed one though because in parentheses it still said (BUT leave the dominoes at home). BW are always trying to fit in, but not lose themselves in the process. I tend to say a similar thing which "Be yourself, but act right." But something did seem off about the message she gave at the end. I don't know if it was the delivery or what. Anyway Racey wasn't exactly fitting in with the people downstairs. 

I think what was interesting was how again race and class are all mixed up together and obscure things. Racey isn't a different race than her black co-workers, she's from a different class. She's a manager and went to an Ivy League university.

A lot of times people think Black=Poor. They think Black means you have to be poor, with low class manners and taste so when Black people or White people encounter someone who is not poor and doesn't have low class, but is Black, they are confused. Hence Racey and most of us BW who have had all the experiences she's had come out feeling stuck in the middle.  

There is a lot of pressure on Black people to acknowledge each other and stick together even when you have almost nothing in common except for brown skin, like Racey and her Black co-workers. A White person would never feel obliged to hang out with other White people who are of a different class and background just because that person is also White... I fall victim to this pressure too and it always ends up being painfully awkward. 

 Jamila  Maxine I think the message was essentially "Be yourself." Racey shouldn't go out of her way to accommodate either the black people or the white people at work. 

 blackpanthershay I was thinking the same thing.

 Karla This happened to me ALL THE TIME throughout my life! People would always want to pair me up with one of the few other black children in the class as though we were fit for each other" I even had one girl do that who didn't know it was my (actual) brother! I also had a very close asian friend of mine who told me to give up on asian men because it would be too hard for me to try and get them to like me back and instead I should go for white or black men because it would be "easier" people are ridiculous! Why should I have to settle for someone whose lonely or has no similarities to me besides the color of my skin! Love isn't about how easy it is, it's about how great it is. 

 somethingdifferent22  Karla Too funny about being set up with your own biological brother.  That gives me an idea--next time someone tries to set me up with the nearest random bm I'm going to say I can't date him because he's my cousin.  After this happens three or four times they'll get the hint.

 somethingdifferent22 I guess it was bound to happen.  Somebody would get so overzealous about setting us up, they would get to our relatives.  One of my WW Navy friends was getting married and wanted everyone to be paired up with someone.  She coyly told me she invited a man she thought I would like to her wedding.  His name was "Kenny", he was tall, good-looking, urbane, well-educated, etc.  I blatantly asked her, "Is he Black?"  She giggled and said, "Yes."  I asked around about "Kenny" and come to find out that he was gay!  When I confronted her with this, she looked surprised but not for the reason we'd think.  "Well, yeah, he's gay but that's because he couldn't find the right BW.  You can flip him!"  WTF?  Our friendship was never the same and eventually, we just lost touch.  "Kenny" found himself a WM and was very happy.

 somethingdifferent22  Karla

 "Love isn't about how easy it is, it's about how great it is". Wow that is the truth! Adore that!

 Karla

 Hi Karla:  Your sentiment resonates with me in regards to the statement "WW were always trying to set me up with any BM available as if we were "meant to be together."  I have never understood why people seem to believe this way when it comes to BW.  It's as if BW cannot possilby have a preference for anyone other than a BM.  "Wake up people, not all BW have an inclination only for BM!"  Some of us like different flavors and this is just fine!!!

 lalalee0305 Yes, sigh.  I got so tired of it, I told my friends, under no circumstances to set me up on blind dates.  I could do better by myself.

 pioneervalleywoman You know it's funny, because I wouldn't have considered the white woman in question unattractive. Her face was prettish to me. But her ATTITUDE stunk to high heaven and it made her overall unattractive. Of course she's acting and is probably friends with the video blogger in question, and is probably a really nice person in reality.

But it goes to show that a willingness to be open and sociable and polite goes further than being snippy mean.

 pioneervalleywoman *snippy and mean

 Toni_M  pioneervalleywoman 

Sorry, Toni, but the 'mean grrl' is not attractive.

I'm invoking (TA-DA!) *Male Privilege!!* to declare her to be the not-pretty ChubbyChick(tm) that every Babe brings along to make herself look somewhat more attractive.

Note the mean mouth, nasty voice, lack of male attention, poorly defined clavicles in comparison to the other women, fat calves and soon-to-be-living-jello upper arms. Women see her and think, 'oh, she's probably very nice, just a little under the weather'. Most men look at her and say, well, nothing particularly kind. Then head for the buffet to scarf down some free food and check out the other women. She goes home, alone, after the party, to complain about men to her cat that is plotting a dash for the door next time it opens. 

I'm a guy; I know these things.

The actress was perfectly cast for the role. This was a professional production, as it had a second unit.

 Law Wanxi  pioneervalleywoman  Yep, as a woman I tend to be more diplomatic but I've definitely encountered women like this. What's interesting about what you described is I don't get the sense this character views herself as the less attractive friend used to be more attractive by comparison. Seeing how many years she knew the other friend, it's quite possible that she's been serving as unknowing "wing woman" the entire time. She probably even suspected her position as wingwoman was being threatened. 

Of course the fact that she was ignored by the guy who approached the main character showed that no, she's still the side-kick. 

I wonder if her assumptions about the black character threatening her own "side-kick status" came from the many stereotypes she apparently associated with black women?

 Law Wanxi  pioneervalleywoman  It's funny because I think it's clear that what's attractive to women and men initially differ. I would probably feel differently if I were a guy, but I think I could say in any case, no matter what any book says on the matter, that I would not be attracted to someone who is rude and unpleasant. 

It just doesn't look very becoming.

 Law Wanxi  Toni_M  pioneervalleywoman Well dang.  If I ever got an appraisal like that I'd take to my bed for sure.  You men are rough. 

 Law Wanxi  Toni_M  pioneervalleywoman Yes, the actress is perfect.  She is pretty, fresh with a cute personality.

 Law Wanxi  Toni_M  pioneervalleywoman FALLING. DOWN. LAUGHING. OUT. LOUD @ "soon-to-be-living-jello upper arms!"

 pioneervalleywoman  the white lady is pretty just had a horrid attitude

 tracyreneejones 

I thought I was the only one who noticed that. I was beginning to wonder where the vid was headed for a bit.

 Law Wanxi Yes.... you typed what I thought...!!

 tracyreneejones I was checking that also.  You don't usually see black women dancing with another woman. Two white chicks, sure I see that all the time, but black women. never.

 Brenda55  tracyreneejones I dance with whoever can wuk up...err I mean dance lol

@blackpanthershay @Brenda55 @tracyreneejones I do it all the time too. I dance w/ whoever wants to dance, especially since my hubby hates to dance. You better work girl LOL.

 eugeniaberg   blackpanthershay  Brenda55  tracyreneejones I dance with my girlfriends to (in a circle).  Just out to have a good time!

 Brenda55 "hey sista".....REALLY Dude?....#totheleftplease <-----