“Just Ignore It” Isn’t a Solution for Abusive Behavior

Women walk down certain streets in certain neighborhoods and get verbally assaulted daily. These women change their style dress thinking too much calf or too big of a behind is the real culprit. They change their manner of walking and anything else within their power in an attempt to make men stop intruding on their person hood. They try to erase themselves.

Some women are spat on for not returning the desired reaction to crude and unwanted sexual attention. Some women attempt to respond to appease the abuser, hoping to make the exchange a little less painful, until she learns that this behavior only reinforces their behavior.

Some women wear headphones to block out the bullshit. They cross the street when they see crowds of men. They take the long way back and forth home preferring to face the danger that may await them on a dark street instead of walking through crowds of predators. And in time they go numb. The faces and the words become one big monolithic cloud of hatred aimed at them. She’s not sure what she did to cause such abuse from people she doesn’t know or want to engage with. She’s simply going about her life and when she complains, her friends say

Just Ignore It 

 

Teenagers walk through corridors of other teenagers, teachers, administrative personnel and under the rule of even more people who receive paychecks to be involved in the education and security of them yet they get bullied and harassed everyday.

Some girls fall victim to the teasing and cajoling and outright meanness displayed by other young girls. They are reminded of every real or perceived shortcoming they may or may not have.

Fat.

Ugly.

Pimples.

Poverty.

Good hair.

Bad hair.

The latest clothes or the hand me downs from the thrift store. Young girls are teased for getting their periods. They may be victims of elaborate plans set in place with cliques of other teenagers. They are the target of jokes and humiliation fabricated from personal information circulated through whispers and gossip to full fledged social media attacks complete with Facebook pages that rack up page hits like your favorite celebrity blog.

Girls beat the will to live out of other girls like packs of dogs seeking to purge the Beta.

Boys do the same to other boys but they’re REALLY not encouraged to complain so we can all keep pretending that boys don’t suffer hurt.

They may or may not talk to parents who may or may not be capable or willing to be concerned with what they think are shallow ‘teen’ issues”. The parents may be the ones spewing hatred.

All kids get teased”, so they say

Just Ignore It

 

Instead, they may Google suicide websites because being a teenager is hard whether one has parents that give a fuck or not. They learn to cope by drinking, drugging and cutting themselves to relieve the pain of having to wake up to a life like this. Is it easy to ignore that body dangling from the rope?

Grade school kids get teased and abused on school buses every day. Sometimes by kids. Sometimes by the people who drive the bus. If and when they do complain to an adult, their parents are told to,

Just Ignore It

Handicapped and disabled are teased, abused, and exploited for the enjoyment of others while going to school or while trying to maneuver their lives in society. When others take time out of their day to mimic the walk of a limping man, or to antagonize a person whose capacity to understand is different for their own sick enjoyment their caretakers and parents are told that ‘people can be cruel’ and they should,

Just Ignore It

The suggestion to “Just Ignore It” does several things, none of which alleviate the abuse thereby leaving the victim to suffer at the hand of those whom are aware that nothing will happen to them. “Ignoring” a  problem is part of the ‘just world’ fallacy  which basically means that bad things will be fixed, by someone, somewhere, because the world is a ‘right’ place. This belief ignores the fact inept social systems and societal apathy leaves everyone waiting…………and suffering.

As a child, I was emotionally and sexual abused and suffered great personal damage at the hands of my parents, my classmates, and the people involved in my career as a child model and actor.

As a teenager I suffered under the abuse of men in the neighborhood from the age of 11. As an adult I’ve been sexually harassed and demeaned while at work by employers both male and female because my need to secure a paycheck to feed my child was larger then my self esteem. I bit my tongue for minimum wage because I was a single mother since her father just ignored her existence.

The hard part about Just Ignore It is that the only thing being Ignored is the victim. There’s a mind fuck that goes on at a point in time when a victimized person comes to the realization that they’re on their fucking own when it comes to receiving justice. You can tell anyone you want, from the people in charge to the local police and judge, watch as their eyes glaze over in a disconnect that simply means they don’t want to be bothered.

Though there are rules on paper and implied concern and safety nets in place in society you quickly find out that that’s a rumor and either a) it does’t apply to you for some reason or B) someone is lying and justice doesn’t exist at all.

I, for one, hate being lied to and so I turned into my own judge and jury. Vengeance is mine because I choose to take it. Some people pick up guns and kill innocent people. Some go about life quietly harboring feelings of inadequacy internalized and kept at bey by drugs, sex and alcohol. Some people become so fearful of other humans that they turn into themselves and choose to live in isolation rather then to be exposed to the hurt and ugly behavior of people.

They’re are plenty of people Just Ignoring It. They are you’re sociopaths; you’re depressed; you’re suicide victims; you’re alcoholics and you’re drug addicted.  There are plenty of people willing to ignore it because the indifference of society has told them they’re pain is ignore-able.

And while the victim stays quiet, the abuser is free to continue on to the next person, because society doesn’t want to be bothered with correcting or protecting the least among us.

Society moves along much smoother by pretending to be concerned with the plight of others while ignoring those who need care which in turn reinforces the behavior of societies bullies, whoever they may be.

How does one expect change and a better society if no one will involve themselves in the administration of righteousness?

You know what they say about problems….ignoring a problem doesn’t make it go away….

So what does make it go away??????

Hmpf……Tracy….that’s what!

 

The Man Myth