Ladies, It Looks Like We’ve Got Some Allies…!

Ladies, It Looks Like We’ve Got Some Allies…!

Just a little reminder…;-)

Author : Christelyn Karazin

Author's Website | Articles from

Last night’s SWIRLING event in Brooklyn was by far the largest we’ve had so far. My agent says that there were about 160 people there, so woo hoo!

It was my first time outside the haven of Manhattan, and I have to say I loved it. It felt more…authentic for me. Of course the absolute highlight was seeing all my BB&W peeps–especially Brenda55 and Sirloin, Karla and her hubster, Carlea (the makers of my awesome SWIRLING jewerly, accompanied by her hubster), Ana Cedeno, Vintage Narsissa, Lormarie, who was so sweet to let me hitch a ride with her) and all the other fans and regulars who came to support me. Some of you travelled far and wide, and I’ll love you always for that.

The entertainment format was a panel discussion about interracial relationships, with Marlon Rice of Good Brother Productions, Abiola Abrams (love and lifestyle diva), Alex Barnett (comedian) and Ron Worthy, founder of BlackPeopleMeet.com.

(from left to right)Regina Brooks, Alex Barnett, Marlon Rice, Abiola Abrams and Ron Worthy

With all the black guys in the room, I was a little nervous about how the “Swirling” message would be received, because frankly, the black blogosphere can skew your perception of reality if you let it. Turns out my worry was completely unfounded, because Ron Worthy, Sanford educated and married to a beautiful black woman, admitted that for the life of him, he couldn’t pick out any of his African American male alumni brothers who were married to black women, and openly advocated for black women to pursue ALL their relationship options. I about swallowed my tongue, because it was the first black man, married to a black woman (besides Ralph Richard Banks) who was so candid about admitting that “Yes, Virginia, we are really seeing what we’re seeing.”

The event organizer, Marlon Rice, event organizer, told me he read the book from cover to cover, and later shared this note with me:

“Not all of us can do great things, but we can do small things with great love.” – Mother Teresa What you are doing isn’t curing cancer or solving world crisis. It is small in comparison. However it is quite evident that your commitment to empowering young women by sharing your experience and perspective is being done with great love. Thank you for your service to our communities through your work. It’s needed, and it’s appreciated. All I ask for is two free tickets when Swirling the Movie comes out!”

THEN, one guy in the audience bought the book for a friend who thought she might need to read it:

 

The chief-honcho at Madame Noire magazine (a black man) sent out a camera crew to cover the event:

And here’s a biggie: Senator Kevin Parker (!!!) made an appearance and not only bought a book, he asked for my autograph and a photo with me. I was beyond honored.

This, and a dozen other little things to show their suppport, concern, and empathy for their sisters, I wanted to just take a moment to remind myself (and you!) that, in our quest for relationship equality, we do indeed have allies. All those black men, successful in their own right (all of them married or about to be married to other black women) felt absolutely no threat by the idea of black women finding love in whatever package it comes in.

And now for your viewing pleasure…

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ChristineB 53 pts

Ron Worthy is one of my brother's friends!! They both went to Stanford. I'm going to have to share this with him. Glad Brooklyn was a success!  Can't wait for you to come to DC! :-)

Soul_Incites 360 pts

Is there a list of your tour itinerary somewhere? I didn't find out about the Brooklyn book signing until the day before, and by then I already had other scheduled commitments.

Christelyn 8739 pts moderator

 Soul_Incites Boo! I usually try to start letting folks know about upcoming events 4-6 weeks out. My next one will be in Atlanta.

Soul_Incites 360 pts

I'm sorry I missed it! I'm glad it was such a fabulous affair. Come back soon!

Veron 1400 pts

I am so upset I had to miss this! My schedule exploded and it just couldn't be done, but I'm so glad to hear that the event was a success, and the supportive turnout was huge. Thanks for posting pictures!

Carlea 28 pts

I'm so happy my husband and I were able to attend and meet everyone! It was great. Wonderful that Christelyn signed my book. Yay!! Met some great people. Enjoyed the conversations & the discussion.

Very interesting. Hope I get to see you all and more again soon.

LemonCrush 123 pts

Looks like such an awesome time was had!  Is there any chance you can make room in your schedule to promote SWIRLING in St. Louis???

Christelyn 8739 pts moderator

@LemonCrush Soon I hope I hear St. Louis really needs me!

LemonCrush 123 pts

 Christelyn   LemonCrush LOL!!!  Yes, we do!!!  At least the word is out!!!  

YoFabulous 230 pts

Any Florida stops in the promotional tour?

melissamak007 218 pts

I was sitting in the front, had no idea that there were women there making negative comments. My boyfriend (the White guy Alex said had a "weird beard") and I thought it was very strange when whoever it was yelled out the "Is there something wrong with the country?" comment. It was obviously clear Chris WASN'T saying anything derogatory. But hey, some people stay on the defensive. Stagnating, with a closed mind. VintageNarcissa I am dead at "butt hurt"! I am guessing I was sitting behind Karla? Loved your dress! Very pretty lady.

Brenda55 19415 pts moderator

 melissamak007 You were sitting behind Karla and her hubs.  Across the row SirLoin was wearing the Panama hat and I was to his right.

 

Funny how all of our guys have face hair. LOL

melissamak007 218 pts

 Brenda55 LOL! I wish I had known it was you. I love your hair!

Brenda55 19415 pts moderator

 melissamak007 Thank-you.  If anyone was rocking a style it was Abiola. Her doo was the bomb.

melissamak007 218 pts

 Brenda55 She definitely was. Gorgeous lady, beautiful hair. But, yours was as well. I found myself wondering if mine would be as pretty as yours when it grows out of TWA stage.

Brenda55 19415 pts moderator

 melissamak007 

 

By way of full disclosure that was not all of my hair.  I am two years post big chop and when I say big chip I mean military buzz cut.  I can now pull it back into a puff but not as large and full as what you saw that evening.

 

 I have always worn wigs and hair pieces and have had fun with them.  I see no reason to stop now that I am natural in order to achieve the look that I am going for. 

melissamak007 218 pts

 Brenda55 And why should you? I think judgmental people are the bane of my existence. Crows that sit there and talk about, and tell you  how you should do your hair, dress, speak, date, etc... It's your hair. When it looks good, you feel good. So my opinion stays the same.

Brenda55 19415 pts moderator

 melissamak007 Thanks again.

SirLoinDeBeef 2496 pts

 Brenda55 Keep in mind that her husband (me), refers to the hairpiece as, "the Dead Thing."

Seenyc 785 pts

So glad I went to this event.  Such a great discussion and a lot of good points were made.  I was sitting next to Rachel ( I didn't get your livefyre screen name) and behind and to the left of LoMarie. Saw Brenda, Sirloin, Karla and her hubby in the front rows! So nice to see the real people behind some of the posts here.

I agree withVintageNarcissa about the person who yelled d out about "what's wrong with being from the countr?" So uncalled for SMH.  Anyway, Chris, you looked divine and Abiola, with her dimples, reminded me of Robin Givens!

Sorry I couldn't stay and chat with everyone, but I had an hour train ride back up here to the heights for a early day at work.   As it was, I got on the train going in the wrong direction so it took me longer, *rolling my eyes*

VintageNarcissa 3151 pts

The event was absolutely amazing! I was so excited to meet Chris. Though I didn't think to get a picture with her. But you see a little bit of my arm and my dress in slide #17, lol. 

 

It was extremely refreshing to see all of those black men there to support black women. I was bracing myself for a litany of attacks from the men. But the men there were extremely open minded and objective and contributed some very good points to the conversation (even old dude who was like, 'oh there's so many beautiful black women, I can't choose just one.')

 

But honestly, most of the negative comments came from the black women in the audience. I was sitting next to a group of women who had a lot to say under their breath, but did not speak up. I think they may have wrote down their questions/comments. They were all cackling in the back talking about how Christelyn doesn't need to speak for all black women. And how not all black women have problems finding men so they don't need to run to white men. And how she's just using her own "sob story" to sell books. And how if the book is about dating smarter, why focus on swirling. 

 

And I'm sitting there like really? How about you pull your head out of your ass and listen to what's being said instead of making snap judgements. They even got racist with their attacks. Ron explained his Trinidadian heritage, and then later on the host called him "cooli." And they all jumped on that saying, if he's cooli why didn't he just say that instead of giving that big explanation of his background, blah blah blah. 

 

And the lady who yelled out, oh what's wrong with being from the country, when Chris was telling her hors d'oeuvres story. Completely unnecessary.

 

The women in general, unless perhaps they were friends or followers of BBW or advocates of IR themselves were all very butt hurt as usual, and not wanting to hear someone tell them about themselves. But whatever, I'm sure the people who wanted to receive the message did. 

 

And shout out the 5 white guys there other than Alex, lololol!

Brenda55 19415 pts moderator

 VintageNarcissa It was great seeing you there V.

Karla 18226 pts

 VintageNarcissa I was thrilled to meet you.  You are absolutely, freakin' gorgeous!

Brenda55 19415 pts moderator

 VintageNarcissa "But honestly, most of the negative comments came from the black women in the audience. I was sitting next to a group of women who had a lot to say under their breath, but did not speak up. I think they may have wrote down their questions/comments. They were all cackling in the back talking about how Christelyn doesn't need to speak for all black women. And how not all black women have problems finding men so they don't need to run to white men. And how she's just using her own "sob story" to sell books. And how if the book is about dating smarter, why focus on swirling."

 

Oh you poor dear.  You were sitting near the Blackistan zombie brigade. Not all black women are ready. Hope you were able to take a nice long hot bath with candles and scented soap to wash away the contagion.

Toni_M 18806 pts moderator

 VintageNarcissa I have to wonder about people who are there to heckle and hate. I mean it was obviously a waste of time since they had no interest in the topic. Were they there to meet some sort of "haterade quota"?

 

I just can't imagine spending my time at an event I have no interest in just because I don't like the speaker. Too many other things I'd rather do.

melissamak007 218 pts

Chris you were great! I am so happy I went! I actually met one of the other women who is part of the BBW family on the subway after. I had to run but I would have loved to have met you :-(

Bunny77 2054 pts

These events all sound and look so cool... and I can't make even one of 'em!

 

I'd drive to Chicago for ya though! Well, uh, I might be a little busy after August, so uh, scratch that.  :)

FriendsofJay 1827 pts

I hate to be a nag, but I've been saying for awhile now that there are MANY people on OUR side.  Its not just white men like me who have a preference for black women, there are many other groups, especially Jewish men.  Jews have a special affinity with AAs because they also have a history of being the object of prejudice.   There are even some who believe that Africans and Jews have common biological roots, although that is a minority opinion.  I keep reading on numerous BWE blogs that BW don't think WM find them attractive.  This is nothing but disinformation from the BC.  When you're in a grocery store and you see a WM surreptitiously looking at you, he's probably not simply impressed with you fashion sense.  He likes what he sees.  The big problem is he thinks you'd turn him down loudly and publicly.  Believe me, men are VERY democratic when it comes to women: a pretty girl is a pretty girl.  As Evia says, "play you female card."  It trumps everything else with us guys.  I agree with Ralph Richard Banks when he says that when BM see you with WM  or any non-BM they're going to suddenly find you a lot more attractive.  The way to be desired by the men you want is to be seen with the men who want you.  

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Brenda55 19415 pts moderator

 Thank you for your post and your enthusiasm for the book Swirling.  

 

I am deleting your post however.  Lets just leave that argument over on the Amazon Swirling site.  If people want to follow it they can go there. This thread is about the event held the other night in Brooklyn and people's reaction to it.

Brenda55 19415 pts moderator

 MayaM Thank-you for understanding and thank-you for bringing this to our attention.  I have gone over the the Amazon Swirling page and am reading the discussion there. 

KTW1 177 pts

 FriendsofJay "The big problem is he thinks you'd turn him down loudly and publicly."

 

Not to derail the conversation, but I think it's important to remember that any woman is capable of rejected any man loudly and publicly. It's a risk that you incur when approaching any woman. Have you seem Jersey Shore (lol)?

 

Sounds like a great event, Chris!

MyBetterSelf 8188 pts

Kudos on the Brooklyn event! Wishing you and the crew much success on all the future ones as well!

Karla 18226 pts

It was a wonderful visit for my husband and me.  I've never been to Brooklyn; it was great.  We always go to Manhattan and that's where we stay and stomp around.  Loved meeting everyone; so nice to associate a face with a name.

MixedUpInVegas 1650 pts

Looks like a beautiful venue and a great time, Chris.  I may mug you for that dress, though--it is KILLER!

ASwirlGirl 3031 pts

 MixedUpInVegas

 I was thinking the same thing! LOL!

IAOSingleMoms 876 pts

You know...you have supporters in Texas too? Can we get something set up here? :)

Christelyn 8739 pts moderator

 ShunJack I'm working on it, chica! Think I need to do DMV area first though...

IAOSingleMoms 876 pts

 Christelyn  What and where is DMV?

Christelyn 8739 pts moderator

@ShunJack Washington DC Maryland and Virginia

Karla 18226 pts

@Christelyn Gasp! I get to see you again?

Christelyn 8739 pts moderator

Okay FINALLY I think the Livefyre bug has been resolved. But not at great sacrifice. Because it's Friday, I had to stay in my hotel room and figure out how to fix this problem while my family tours Boston without me. Understandably, they're pissed at me. Thanks a lot, LIVEFYRE! 

Toni_M 18806 pts moderator

 Christelyn  Wow, I thought it was just me. :S

 

Glad to be back online in any case. <3

FriendsofJay 1827 pts

 Toni_M I tried everything I could think of to place a picture on my Facebook avatar.  No luck.  So I'm glad we're back to something I can understand.

The Working Home Keeper 6592 pts

 Christelyn Oh, no!  Well, thanks for all your hard work Christelyn!  <3

Brenda55 19415 pts moderator

 Christelyn  Hope they don't stay pissed for long.  Any way you can meet up with them later?

Christelyn 8739 pts moderator

 Brenda55 I'm hoping so. This has pissed me off to no end.

Toni_M 18806 pts moderator

 Christelyn   Brenda55 :( 

 

Well hopefully you can make it up to them with some sort of surprise awesomeness.