Lessons in a Case Study in Magical Thinking: Fantasia’s Looking for Child Support!!

Avoc42883

Thanks for coming out of lurk mode to share this real talk.

 ChristieRJohnson LOL, LOVE that one!  My mom says, "when you marry a man who cheats on his wife, you're married to a man that cheats on his wife."

keeks Y If you googled "stereotypical BW ghetto babymama" Fantasia's picture should pop up.

keeks Y I keep seeing the numbers go up and down on this thread like the stock market LOL...moderators are keeping busy, I bet some folks wanted to make this thread buckwild, like Media Take Out or Sandra Rose- colorist, misogynist, dissing & cursing. Its so wonderful to come to a "Black" site and not see the N, H, or B word. Bravo to Christelyn and her moderators for upholding standards of decency.

DeeDeeRussellkeeks Y

Dainty courtesy and a thank-you.

DeeDeeRussellkeeks Y Hear, hear! If people want to be ignorant and foolish and encourage that level of trash, they can go some place else.

Brenda55DeeDeeRussellkeeks Y

Hi Brenda....i'm glad you're here too. :-D

TJD LMAO!!!!. Dave Chapelle did a skit with that title "when keeping it real goes wrong"...LOL!!!!!

Yes, we are supposed to judge. If you are a Christian then you should know the Scripture states that we are supposed to discern (i.e., "judge" ) right from wrong, good from evil, and then FLEE from those people and things that we know are up to no good. The Bible states that bad company corrupts good character and makes all sorts of other statements about staying the hell away from folks that are clearly up to no good.

If you are not a Christian and you don't believe in the Bible then you should know that good sense dictates that hanging out with the wrong crowd and doing things you have no business doing does NOT lead to good ends. And yes,you will be mocked if you end up a** out and broke down for doing some stuff you should have stayed away from.

Black folks need to stop playing stupid and hiding behind fake religion and those two or three lines of propaganda ("You can't judge nobody! That's not GODLY!!) that they've heard repeated time and time again.

Jamila Thank you! I never understood the logic of using God to justify bad behavior, or stop other people from pointing it out. Just because He looks after children and fools doesn't mean you get to act like either and not have it pointed out.

Toni_MJamila God don't justify bad behavior why should we.

Jamila I just checked. That 'god' lady just came here to drop that ONE piece of knowledge...hmmm. Something tells me the mods are keeping super-busy on this topic. Many babymamas are paranoid and defensive when their breatheren are criticized.

DeeDeeRussellJamila I ain't even been on here tonight not feeling that great but we're a team us moderators, I'll keep a watchful eye for nonsense.

eugeniamitchellJamila Aw, best wishes for a speedy recovery on your health!

eugeniamitchell Sorry to hear that you're under the weather. Hope is is nothing too serious. I have been at this most of the evening and I hitting the sack. Catch you all in the morning.

eugeniamitchellDeeDeeRussellJamila

get well soon, Eugenia.i like seeing you here. :-)

Yes Eugenia, please get better soon! FourAndThreeQuarters eugeniamitchell DeeDeeRussell Jamila

CutieBlkBarbie

Sure we can Cutie. Just like you can come here to judge us for having standards.

Got a little 'tude there BTW. I'd check that if I were you.

CutieBlkBarbie LOL, no one is casting stones at Fantasia because she's a sinner; we're commenting on an unfortunate situation that Stevie Wonder would have seen coming a mile off.

I'm sorry that it bothers you that when you put your foolishness on display for the world to see, people are going to comment.

Though, it might please you to know that I'm going sans-halo at the moment and daring to be lest than perfect while stating the obvious: The girl dun goofed.

As for whether or not she fixes her mess, with enablers such as yourself failing to see what good can come from shaming inappropriate behavior (behavior that has not only complicated her own life, but that of her offspring), it's doubtful she'll be motivated to fix anything. The cold hard truth is that when people refuse to see dysfunctional behavior as wrong, they will not point it out to others, and will cop an attitude when people who recognize it as such dare to call it what it is.

CutieBlkBarbie less* See? Typos, I'm clearly imperfect.

CutieBlkBarbie Quit trying to control what GROWN FOLKS say using the name of God! See, I was raised in the church my parents were preachers and televangelists, seen and heard it ALL...BW in the church are stuck on stupid use god as an excuse for bastards, the wrong men, poverty, you name it, BW use god as an excuse for ghetto living or control others. FAIL. Take that mess on.

CutieBlkBarbie Clarification! *Some (to me, MOST) of BW in the church are "stuck on stupid...use god as an excuse for bastards...ghetto living... etc..."

DeeDeeRussellCutieBlkBarbie SPEAK DeeDee! YES!!!

Betty BooCutieBlkBarbie Why thanks, Betty. I know how to talk to fake holy rollers. I used to sit on stage with the preachers -as I was church drummer..seen it ALL go down in churches. So when I hear that recycled mess and the same jargon from my girlhood...well needless to say, I don't go to church anymore nor do I allow religious hypocrites to roll ish. Like, have they REALLY read the bible??

Hebrews 12:8

If you are left without discipline, in which all have participated, then you are illegitimate children and not sons.

CutieBlkBarbie I am really tired of people who use the "Judge Not" argument incorrectly. Yes Fantasia made a mistake, but she also made a CHOICE. she made the decision to sleep with and get impregnated by a married man and now she is complaining about him not coming correct. It is sad she is going through this but step by step she implanted this bullet into her own foot. God NEVER said do not judge, he said do not judge with UNRIGHTEOUS judgment. No one has a heaven or hell to put Fantasia in, but should people give support and sympathy to a woman who chose to create this hell for herself? If she knew he was married why did she continue to stay with him? She made these decisions they were not forced on her. At some point in time she had to know. Can God redeem her situation? of course he can, but she has to own her stuff and stop looking at everyone else to identify with her "plight". She bet on a losing horse and lost, now it is time for her to pick up the pieces and try to give this child as stable as a life as she can. When people make this "Who are you to judge you are not God," statements, it just shows me that they know nothing about How God's judgment works, they just want to silence those who would dare to state the painfully obvious under the guise of religious compassion.I speak like this because some time ago I got involved with a loser. I knew he was a loser, but I wanted to be with him because he was cute and we had some fun together (YES DUMB REASON TO BE WITH HIM) and soon it fizzled and I was mad, but I could not get mad at him he was what he was when I met him, he was a loser and a a**hole but you know what? I STILL have no one to blame for myself for getting involved with him. No children came out of this (we did not do anything) but I had to fully OWN my choice I could level NO BLAME at no one ounce at him. I would have more respect for her if she came out and said "hey ya'll I got involved with a married man, I am not proud of it, I would like for him to be involved with his child, but I will do all I can to make a good life for this child with or without his help. I made a mistake and I OWN it." We have to own our stuff no matter how hard it is and rally people around us who will love us. help us through it, but hold us accountable and that is what righteous judgement DOES, it holds people accountable for their stuff but is there with a steady hand to help them pick up the pieces.

Betty BooCutieBlkBarbie Very well said Betty. This is teachable moment for any young BW on the fence about being a babymama. Tasia is only HELPING the BWE NWNW movement.

DeeDeeRussellBetty BooCutieBlkBarbie Yes she has to live with the consequences of her choice but this a teachable moment, a moment for bw with daughters to sit them down and say 'now, honey this girl had a lot of potential but she was stupid and misused it and now it's wasted. This not how you want your life to end up,if you want a better life, you have to make better choices for your future. Here's a lesson on how not to end up a dumb a$$ statistic.' Barbie just mad b/c she's made stupid choices and wants to somehow deflect her stupidity. If you make the dumb choice, hell admit, figure how to do better and move with your life. Stop trying to excuse mediocrity as somehow being okay. Good gravy!

CutieBlkBarbie

I don't think anyone here is rooting against Fantasia. Fantasia is her own worst enemy. But you are right that only she can fix "it". Hopefully she will.

aceontopofkings Hi Kai!! Good to see you over here cause I'm off Facebook till late Saturday. You're right, of course. It sickens me to hear that "babies blessings" crap just mind control to keep the brood sows and mules at their stalls...like, we ALL have heard how most of those ghetto single mothers talk to and see how they treat their kids and honey, it's not godly!

aceontopofkings my ears bleeds when I hear '' ALL Babies are Blessings''. This is to get away from the truth. I know a young BW in her early 30's with six children, yes in America and since she attends church, that is what you hear all the time '' babies are blessings''. I think it's hypocritical to say that, not to let someone knows that there will be consequences in the future.

aceontopofkings Yes all children are a blessing, all parents are not.