"Like" should be eliminated from the English language!

My 12-year-old uses that word to the point of absurdity and needs to be stopped. If she comes home from school one more day and I overhear her and her friends say, “And he was like, and then I was like, and then I’m all, and then she was like, and they were all…” I just may consider home schooling. I realize that the root of this annoyance is because we live in Southern California, and I think there’s a law on the books that says you must use “like” at least 94 times day or you will be deported to San Francisco.

Like, my 12-year-old, like, holding the baby.

I hope I won’t have to, because I’m too busy blogging, breast feeding and hustling to finish this book. Maybe you can help. If we unite, bloggers can make major change in the world. I’ve seen it in action–we helped get Barack Obama elected, didn’t we?

So…I have a proposal for a new national (or at least regional) holiday. Participate and we just might make it happen. But first, we must organize. Let’s tentatively call our group National Organization to Usurp Ridiculous Dialogue, aka, NO-TURD. Huh? Huh? I thought you’d like that.

Then, we could lobby for the holiday. How about calling it Apply Sensible Syntax in Homage of Language Excellence Day, or A.S.S.H.O.L.E., for short. We can have it in June when the kids are out of school, so we have the chance to follow them around, monitoring every word and be ready to pounce at the slightest muttering of the Word That Must Never Be Spoken. It could, in fact, cause collective temporary insanity for all middle school children, resulting in parents flooding mental hospitals en masse, and wouldn’t you want universal healthcare then? I bet you would.

NO-TURD: the founders of A.S.S.H.O.L.E. day. Say it loud. Say it proud.

Meanwhile, today I’m working on tweaking the audio from my interview with Dr. Linda Young, which will be (might be?) ready by tomorrow.

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The Man Myth