Monday-Punday #7

SirLoinDeBeef, chancing upon further instruction in the quest for ultimate groan-inducing vagaries of the English language, discovered … AHAHAHAhahahah (giggles insanely) …

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Old mother Hubbard went to the cupboard

To get her poor daughter a dress:

But when she got there,

The cupboard was bare …

And so was her daughter, I guess.

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Newspaper left as a doormat: These are The Times that dry men’s soles.

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I found my female sibling weeping and asked her, “Having a cry, sis?”

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About the turn of the 19th century, it was well-known that the Tait pocket-watch was the best money could buy. The same could not be said of the combination of pocket-watch and compass that Tait sold. Frankly, the compass pointed everywhere except North. This led to many folks knowing the exact time, but not knowing where they were, nor able to find their way back. It became common knowledge that he who has a Tait’s is lost

See y’all next week.