Comments on: My Story: Jumping the Broom with a “White” Boy

By: BlackDickLover

BlackDickLover — Thu, 21 Mar 2013 13:44:13 +0000

No need to jump the broom with a white boy. There are plenty of educated, sophisticated, marriage minded “Black” men of African, Caribbean, Middle Eastern and South American descent. The pale skin horse should never be considered a savior, because the Black American stallion has not arrived. There are plenty of beautiful, strong and loving black men of the African diaspora ready to wife you in this world. Get out more, travel more. But, one thing I tip my hat off to Black men is honesty. Black men usually do not settle, they won’t just marry anybody. If Black men are not ready to settle down and still want to play the field, they won’t marry. If this is not the woman they want to spend the rest of their life with, they won’t wife her. On the other hand, White men marry because it is what’s expected and then cheat. Marriage to white men are laden with affairs and they are prostitute mongers…

For the record, there is nothing wrong with marrying black and having black babies. This blog further perpetuates the destruction of the black family and black people. Every other culture puts their women and men on a pedestal, except for us. This blog is ran and supported by women with a trove inferiority complexes. It is a disgrace and utter embarrassment to black people. With mindsets like this, Blacks are destined to remain the permanent underclass.

By: karris

karris — Sat, 02 Mar 2013 20:09:50 +0000

@bexojo I hear you Bexojo. I have four biracial children. The world perceives me as white, though I descend from people who spent 500 years as white chattel to brown superiors, then a century genocided at the highest known per capita rate by white people who hated us for what the 500 year thing had turned us into. Yes, being a white looking female with a black looking guy gets you looked at like a ‘ho. And all the while you’re getting treated to that perniciously below-the-belt molestation, and it is everywhere, the black people around you are seeing you as this privileged person who’ll never have to deal with anything like that, who certainly doesn’t need that kind of support. Well, honey, you’re not invisible to me. I see you.

By: NaturalSabrina

NaturalSabrina — Thu, 21 Feb 2013 23:00:58 +0000

I am a black woman married to a black man and I know too many black couples for this so-called problem of black women not getting married. I understand the stats but I have to wonder if ones who want to justify their decisions may look for information that will. I’m not saying you are one of them or anyone on this thread but I get really tired of this idea that black couples are hard to find.

By: bexojo

bexojo — Sun, 18 Nov 2012 07:51:46 +0000

@Brenda55 @Toni_M Yes, mostly at school. I used to go to school in a very privileged neighborhood. My school was 70% asian, and 27% white. I think that was the biggest problem. The kids didn’t have exposure to races other than white and asian for the most part. It was absurd. Our school did diagnostics tests of the kids to see whther any groups were being left behind and we had to answer a few questions like “are you and english language learner?”. One question was “Ethnicity?” and the only options given were “Asian, White, or Other”. The school was made of the 1% and it had a very 1% mentality.
Then I moved to a school that is 50% latino 25% black and 15% white. It is far more low income, with 70% of kids coming from low income households. Here the word is thrown about as well, but usually in a different context. Here the kids who use it think it’s some kind of joke because they’re so used to hearing slurs themselves.

By: Brenda55

Brenda55 — Sun, 18 Nov 2012 01:37:40 +0000

@bexojo @Toni_M Tell us a little more about your self and what is going on. Is this happening at school for the most part?

By: bexojo

bexojo — Sun, 18 Nov 2012 01:29:32 +0000

@Toni_M @Brenda55 Thanks for the wisdom; the sad thing is that I feel like people my age, especially those who have grown up in a very sheltered atmosphere don’t understand how wrong it is to use the n word. I believe that most of the people who do it, do so without true malice; and I certainly do not let it slide when people use such an offensive term – but because of how often I’ve heard it, I’ve come to be more forgiving of those who use the word (out of ignorance).
While most people are cowed into no longer using the term when I scold them about it, many reply that they feel like using the word is ok because many black comedians and musicians use it. I repeatedly tell them that the fact that black people use the word in art or comedy does not justify it’s use in everyday conversation, particularly by non-black people.
The people most likely to use the term with no real malice but without shame are those who are extremely ignorant about how deleterious racism has been in this country’s past and how it still is a negative and highly present force today.
And I’m not sure I was clear on this, but I meant to say that it is typically non-black people who say I am not black. Black people are generally surprised but very accepting of the fact that I’m black.
And I know it may sound like I don’t respect myself if I still consider people who have called me a n*gger friends, but I have not resigned myself to disrespect. People make jokes in poor taste all the time, and while I would never date someone who had used this term about me or about someone else, I realize that most people, when using this term in a “joking” fashion are truly just acting stupidly and without knowledge that what they are saying is wrong.

By: Brenda55

Brenda55 — Sun, 18 Nov 2012 00:49:38 +0000

@bexojo Welcome to BB&W. So glad that you came.

Please listen to Toni_M. She speaks the truth. I have a niece about your age. She and her brother are also biracial. Fortunately she has not had some of the negative experiences that you have gone through. I mention this to let you know that what you are going through is not the norm and is not right. You do not have to put up with it.

Some folks here the word Ni**er in the media and feel that they should be able to use it also.
The word is meant to denigrate and dehumanize and to shock. The people using it know this. They are not doing this to be friends. They are doing it because they think that they can get away with saying something that they know is socially unacceptable and they are doing it at your expense.

The same goes for black people who do not want to fully accept you as black. They don’t want you to identify yourself as white but their own racial insecurities want to force you into a box. Never let any one do that.

Date and love who you want. It gets better. As you get older and can expand your pool of friends you can pick and choose the people that you hang out with that love you for your unique self. The rest leave alone. It does get better.

By: Toni_M

Toni_M — Sun, 18 Nov 2012 00:11:34 +0000

@bexojo Hello.

1.) There is nothing acceptable about “friends” calling you a n*gger or using that word around you. You are entitled to be surrounded by people who respect you and your feelings. I would not consider persons, regardless of their race, who treated me like that friends. You deserve better than that, and you need to believe that. Soon you will be hopefully headed to college or wherever life takes you. Understand that you are entitled to build a circle of friends who love and respect you for who you are, regardless of your ethnic make-up.

2.) YOU define who you are. Nobody else gets to tell you what or who you are, especially to justify their own bigotry. Never let anyone put you in a box as to make it easier to disrespect you. You are an individual and you will hopefully have a lifetime to decide who you are and what you want out of life.

3.) Race is a social construct, and we are all human beings. As such there is no one group to whom you belong or are required to feel attracted. Women here date interracially/inter-ethnically or support the right of black women to do so. You don’t have to be attracted to white or black men. You have to go with what works best for you, and don’t look to anyone else to determine that for you. You decide your own happiness.

4.) Anything others say about who you date and trying to classify to you what counts/doesn’t count is irrelevant. Focus on yourself and your own happiness.

Good luck to you! o/

By: bexojo

bexojo — Sat, 17 Nov 2012 23:59:08 +0000

I am 17, the product of an interracial marriage. My mom is black and my dad is white. NOBODY has ever guessed that I’m black without me telling them (I have light brown hair, pale olive skin and blue eyes). Because I look white but am black, people sometimes think it’s funny or acceptable to call me the n-word. People have used that word against me so many times that I’ve lost count. The sad thing is that most of the time it’s used by my ignorant non-black friends who think that they can use that word as some kind of a joke. It disappoints me every time I hear that word used by someone who I otherwise respect, but I’ve come to accept it as a part of life.
At the same time as having to deal with the flippant use of the n-word by those around me about me, I have to deal with just as many people telling me “you’re not black”. So many people tell me that I’m not black and they say it in such a way that it sounds like they’re telling me “you’re not allowed to consider yourself black.”
I have never heard anyone black say either of these things before (although one black friend jokingly calls me a cracker).
Anyways, I have never dated a white guy. For whatever reason I feel uncomfortable around them. I have dated an Asian guy, a Middle eastern guy and two half black guys. I always get looks whenever I go out with a guy. Even though I live in Los Angeles and it’s 2012, apparently interracial dating is still mind boggling to most people, ethnic or otherwise.The funny thing is that people still think I’m interracially dating when I go out with half black guys when really I’m dating the closest thing to my race…that seems to throw some people, even if they know I’m half black.

By: Christelyn

Christelyn — Sat, 06 Oct 2012 20:46:54 +0000

Congratulations on your marriage, and thanks for stopping by!