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Thriving

NBABM Woman Having Second Thoughts. Time to Be a Sisterhood.

I got a VERY moving letter from an observer of this video:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EpaYunY3fNY

Good evening! I came across your channel and content through a few YouTube channels I am subbed to right now in light of the recent heated controversy. Originally I was thinking “wait a minute, how dare she be against black men! Don’t we have enough issues in this community without being against each other?” and I held on to these thoughts for a while. However, I am sitting here and I’m thinking about your position. A little about myself. I have always been a “race first” type of woman. I have only dealt with a few guys but the ones I have been with has been at least three years per relationship or more. So, I can’t say that I have been treated all that well in my relationship. I have been through being raped (which resulted in my daughter), hit, lied to and on, cheated on, the list goes on. I have been through so much hell that one would wonder how it is that I don’t see black men differently at this point. Every black man I have come across was only interested in having sex and that’s it. I am in a relationship with a black man right now. 13 years in fact. I have been physically abused, mentally abused, verbally abused, cheated on, lied on, disrespected by his family, not considered and not listened to. He treats everyone around him fine but when it comes to me it’s almost like he has gotten so used to the relationship that he thinks I don’t have the right to be treated with respect. He acts like a child when I try to communicate and really dig deep into our issues so we can work on them together. What’s crazy is that all of these men have families who cultivate these actions; they never hold the men responsible but all of the issues are typically placed on me. I hate to say it but my self esteem has been beat down horribly by my race of men but I know that if I were to reach out to anyone else I would be considered something I’m not by my race. I keep being told to hang on, the right man is out there but the more I come across just my own race the more I feel like those dreams I once had to have a large family, a stable atmosphere, a stable home and respect will never happen because it seems my race isn’t really about that. I hear about these wonderful black men who are on their grind and doing what they should do but why is it so miniscule that I can’t come across any, right? I’m not saying that my entire community of men are bad because that would be a fallacy but there seems to be a huge epidemic of black men not holding themselves accountable for the way they treat women that’s not being addressed. While it’s not being addressed we are suffering. I understand why you feel the way you do about dating outside of your race. If you have found love with a white man who is treating you well, care about you, compassionate, empathetic, listens to you talk about your day, would never physically harm you, etc then I am happy for you. I would love nothing more than to find a man like that.

Okay ladies, help a sister out!!

Follow Christelyn on Instagram and Twitter, and subscribe to our YouTube channel. And if you want to be a little more about this online dating thing, InterracialDatingCentral is the official dating site for this blog.

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