I did this show last spring when me and Mom went to the ATL for a conference at Emory University. FINALLY got the code, so here it is!
Please don’t forget to donate! We need to raise the necessary funds for the second phase of our outreach, “Map Your Future.” Click here do help.
Bravo Christelyn. I am a 27 yr old single mom of a beautiful 8 yr old girl. I love her with every fiber but it is so difficult for me. I have to work, help her with homework, give her well balanced meals, play, nurture her. There is just so much to do. Her father is not around, doesn't want to be. I am stressed and crying all the time, just frustrated about everything. I pray that black women can find their worth and stop getting pregnant by these men who dont not want to be fathers. Lets marry first. IF we do better then men will have no choice but to fall in line.
"Marriage is the ideal, but there are 2 doz. forms of birth control. Choose one, just one"
Amen!
Great interview.
Ignoring elepants in the room will not make those elephants go away.
Nice job! I have a few female cousins (I have a huge family) who were in their twenties when they decided they wanted a baby (middle class, educated girls.) And I"m left to wonder if they ever imagined falling in love, finding a partner in all this? Why would anyone that age choose to parent alone? I'm home with my baby now and when my husband comes home, I am so very happy and he happily takes over while I put my feet up or work on my own projects. So, why go at this alone, especially in your 20s? And since Michelle Bachmann isn't president just yet, you can still go to Planned Parenthood and get some stuff to protect yourself from pregnancy and disease. Love and commitment exists and is healthier for everyone involved.
What about waiting until one is married before having sex and kids. Can this truly keep the statistics down? Just saying.
It is quite possible to have sex without having children. Now, more bw would only acquaint themselves with the several forms of birth control on the market, and kick to the curb males who don't believe in any kind of birth control...
Preaching abstinence until marriage in my opinion is not practical. That is a matter of personal choice. Plus, society is laden with sexual imagery, and given this, preaching "close your legs until you are married" (while NOT imparting the same message to boys and men) is obviously doomed to fail. For this and many other reasons.
On the other hand, waiting until marriage before having children in perfectly feasible in this day and age, especially with the availability of contraceptives.
It can be practical to some people. If you don't wish to do it then do it. It's all up to you.
Marcie, for that to work, the men in question have to see the girls as being worth waiting for & worth marrying.
If they do not think that based on the color of those girl's skin, then it it will never work, hence the sitiation in the Black community.
I'm not judging any one in the black community because each persons circumstance is different. IMO, its all about what your moral code is and how it will guide you. Women can make mistakes and "sin" depending on how they grew up, I guess. Anyways, over here and in the world men obviously like instant gratification, they will promote it, talk about it, condone it,spread it and languish in it. There is a culture here about sexualisation, be it in books, mags, on tv, on the interweb. Guys like to see sexual stimuli to make them feel aroused. Now you as a woman encountering men like that how can you excape, esp. when they promise to give you the " moon and stars?" I guess birth control can work in a committed relationship.
Birth control works in a committed relationship, I've been in one over two years. Birth control worked just fine. And everyone sins whether you come from this mythical 'good' family or not. If we didn't sin we wouldn't need any forgiveness from God or guidance. What world of 'guessing' is there?
The world of utopia of course. Strike the guessing bit.My bad
Men don't have to approve of abstinence in women in order for a woman to choose it, just as men don't have to approve of birth control in order for women to use it.
This is America. Women can do whatever they want with their bodies and men legally have no say about it.
If a woman does not give a man what he wants, he will move on very quickly if he only wants sex. I used abstinence in high school and college and I am glad that I did. Now I don't have herpes like so many women I know. And I am not angry at men because i was not used and tossed aside.
One romantic relationship in college lasted a year even though I was abstinent. And I was the one who got tired of him and ended the relationship. He is still interested in me.
Abstinence can be the best option for some women. We all mature at different rates and not every girl is emotionally ready for sex in high school and college.
Loved the Interview, I will be re-posting it on my facebook page a few times and hopefully that will get the message across more. :)
Great interview.
Now on a side note. After four kids how do you stay in shape? You look great.
LOL lots of pilates, yoga, barre method, and protein shakes.
Christelyn,
What an excellent interview. Thank you for all of your hard work and dedication to this blog and NWNW.
Wonderful! This is sooooo good. Glad it's playing here in Atlanta...Stats here are sky high :-(
Oh and I know that it happens the other way around also ---as far as the man promising committment to the women and then disappearing after the child is born. I was just wanted to comment on these women that I know.
Unfortunately, this is the way that a lot of women(especially in the inner city) think and I am not saying that this is just an inner city problem cause I am sure that there are plenty of single moms outside of the inner city. However, I am just referring to my experience as someone who grew up in the inner city. I came from a two parent home with pretty old fashioned values. My parents were older so I grew up old school. My oldest sister has kids but she was married first. My first cousin and aunts were all married before they had kids. Those who were not married did not have kids. I have three aunts who died never marrying or having kids.
Then I can look at a good friend of mine. She grew up without a father. Her first cousin and all of her aunts are single mothers. She got pregnant by this guy who did not even love her. But it was no big deal to her :( Now all she does is complain about not having a good father for her son. She got pregnant by him because she did not have a committed relationship and was getting older.
A lot of women have the attitude that if they are not married at a certain point and in some cases marriage is not even an issue---when they are ready to have a baby they are like "Im gettin pregnant by somebody".
I saw a Jamaican woman a couple of weeks ago that I have known for years but had not seen in years. The first thing that she said to me was "you still dont have any kids"? I said no because I am not married. Her response was "girl just get pregnant by somebody". I was soooo offended. I was suprised that a Jamaican woman was telling me to just "trap" someone.
So I just commented to state that a lot of women get pregnant by someone because they dont have commitment and dont want to miss out on the chance of being a mother. A lot of the guys in some cases make it clear that they dont want kids and are pissed when they find out that the woman is pregnant. Although it takes two to tango, I always made sure that I was protected because a lot of men are trifling.
I guess that I cant understand just "trapping someone" because I dont want to miss out on being a mother cause I dont have an overwhelming urge to have a baby and definitely not one of of wedlock.
When I was a young woman, I had a conversation with a dear friend and I told her "When I am 30 if I am not married, I am going to have my baby". It had nothing to do with trapping anyone. In the arrogance of my youth, I decided that I would not miss out on being a mother because I was not the type of woman that men were drawn to and that I was perfectly capable of raising a child myself. But when I reached 30, I realized that it wasn't about me being capable. It is about the fact that men have a wonderful role to play as well. It was about the fact that my father was a powerful influence for myself and my siblings, and that my children deserved the same thing.
Bravo Christelyn. Well done.
Well done Chris!
Not just Chris, but to all the bloggers who contributed to NWNW thanks for sharing your time and words to helping black women. Nothing more beautiful than women helping women to live their best lives.
Wow Chris! You did a great job! These are things BW really need to know. I'm so happy that you're getting the message out to women who think that having children without being married is normal.
BTW, You're pretty photogenic. Michael must be proud to be seen with you.
Great message for women and you looked beautiful.You made some very valid points about this issue....bravo!!
- spam
- offensive
- disagree
- off topic
Like