OK, We Get It: You Don’t Find White Men Attractive…Now Can You Shut The F&*K Up About It Already!?

OK, We Get It: You Don’t Find White Men Attractive…Now Can You Shut The F&*K Up About It Already!?

Here’s the thing, I completely understand that not all black women will find non-black men attractive. Thus my suggestion to a black women to open herself up to dating non-black men will sometimes fall on deaf ears. Heck, I don’t like short men, and any suggestion that I get to date a cute guy who happens to be the same height as Danny DeVito will be ignored. But whether the issue is that you don’t think you’ll like the look of a pale-colored penis or that height-challenged males turn you off, the LEAST you can do for other women is to not shout that crap from the highest rooftop–in other words, could you stop f&*king up it for those who do like pale-colored men and the vertically challenged? I’m just saying…*insert Kanye West shrug here*

Author : Jamila Akil

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Here’s the thing, I completely understand that not all black women will find non-black men attractive. Thus my suggestion to a black women to open herself up to dating non-black men will sometimes fall on deaf ears. Heck, I don’t like short men, and any suggestion that I get to date a cute guy who happens to be the same height as Danny DeVito will be ignored. But whether the issue is that you don’t think you’ll like the look of a pale-colored penis or that height-challenged males turn you off, the LEAST you can do for other women is to not shout that crap from the highest rooftop–in other words, could you stop f&*king up it for those who do like pale-colored men and the vertically challenged? I’m just saying…*insert Kanye West shrug here*

Jayne Dirt penned a post over at the Clutch titled “I’m Not Racist, I Just Don’t Want to Screw a White Man,” proclaiming not only that she didn’t think white men were attractive–that’s cool, no problem–but that she would, and I quote,”rather eat cat shit through a knit needle than give a white man a blow job…” Well excussseeee mee! That’s harsh! And all she had to say was that she didn’t want to sleep with a white man, but no, she had to go overboard and act like it would be worst than eating cat crap.

Do you think a black man–ANY black man–would ever come out and say this about white women? HELL TO THE NAW! Even black men that prefer black women think sexy women come in all colors, even the color that they prefer is chocolate. Black men know that they may be eating chocolate this week, but next week they might have a taste for vanilla, and they are not going to mess up their chance at consuming all of the flavors from the ice cream shop by telling anyone who will listen about their preference for chocolate. This week its chocolate, but strawberry with sprinkles might sound nice one day soon…

The sort of hysteria that would equate eating cat crap to sleeping with a white man is something that I can only see a black women being loud and proud of declaring.

There’s a reason folks keep their preferences to themselves. It’s because publicly declaring that you would never give so-and-so a chance cuts off your options. Proclamations like Jayne’s are why some black women find it so hard to meet white guys that they do like and why white men can sometimes be so hesitant to approach–too many black women telling anybody within ear shot that they will drink cow urine, climb the heights of the Himalaya’s, do the dougie at a college graduation, or that they will sing right along with the fat lady when she starts singing, before she would EVER date a white man.

And this whole “I would rather eat cat shit through a knit needle” line came about because Jayne IS NOT racist! According to her, black people CAN’T BE RACIST. But as you can see, black people can equate sleeping with white men to eating cat shit.

If any white man were to publicly say that sleeping with black women would be akin to eating cow poop, that white man would be EVISCERATED by the media. Dude would be treated as bad as Chris Brown. Why? Because even if you don’t find other groups as attractive as you find the opposite sex of your own group, there is still the expectation that you refrain from equating sleeping with someone you don’t particularly like to consuming feces.

“Opinionatedgal”, a voice of reason, had this to say:

Funny, somehow I don’t think that you’ll ever see this perspective on a black male-focused blog with a man saying “I’m not racist, I just don’t want to screw a white woman.”

Everyone is entitled to their opinion, but I think this article further isolates BW, just like other “why black women are not married” topics.

Find love “and sex” (whatever you’re looking for) wherever it is.

I think Opinionatedgal had it right: black women who publicly declare that sleeping with white men is akin to eating cat pooh are only serving to further isolate black women, painting us as being unapproachable women who will wait ’til the cow jumps over the moon for a black man.

There’s nothing wrong with strongly preferring black men, but I really wish those black women who DO have that preference would stop making it hard for those black women who DON’T feel the same.

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CAPT SMOOTH 7386 pts

I have cats and I can save up enough from the litter box in a week to make a substantial lunch for Jayne. Anybody have an address?

Sweetness822100 31 pts

Amen, Amen!  It's really terrible in a way, because as I said earlier, I'm from the deep south, so the chances of meeting a serious WM is potentially a lot slimmer, not only because of southern stigmas but also 'that' image of the black woman that the author was describing - BW who are on reserve for a black man so anyone who's not black need not ever apply.  Based on my experience,  some BM have approached me with no qualms it seems, but WM on the other hand - I see some of them looking, but I can tell that they think twice about approaching, I'm sure because of a list of factors.  At the same time, I feel that a man who really wants to get to know me will approach, I've resolved to just put myself out there more.  Comparing sex with white men to eating cat poo thru a knit needle is completely ridiculous and sick.  I sense that there's a deeper problem there, no telling what's really going on inside that lady's head.  & like it's been said before, I've never heard any black men swear off white women, and to be honest, if I ever do hear it I think it'd be a lie, just like for all the WM who 'supposedly' have issues with race I think many of them secretly have a thing for BW.  Idk, it can get really psychological with this subject.

ElfeV 7093 pts

1. More rainbeaux for us(well, for y'all since i'm already hitched)! LOL

 

2. People have been dating and marrying IR in spite of loud, idiotic bigots for quite a while. I doubt this is even infinitesimally significant. Someone mentioned John Mayer & I put Madame Cat Poop in the same bag with him (Can we arrange to have these two stranded on an island together?! How much fun would that be?!). If you're attracted to a certain type of person then someone else on a blog or interview going "Euuuuw, yucky! They have cooties!" isn't likely to shift your feelings.

 

3. Intelligent people (specifically for this post : wm&bw) will continue to get together no matter how many slavemasters, plantations, klansmen/neo nazis, mammies,  real housewives, hoochie mamas/hoodrats are invoked & paraded.  I wouldn't worry about it. If a man or woman is that silly and naive then you're better off without his/her company.

 

 

Aabaakawad 1098 pts moderator

 ForestElfQueen He could sing to her, and she could scavenge creating sources of food.

My latest conversation: ForumPress

ElfeV 7093 pts

 Aabaakawad  lolz! I wonder how long they'd actually go before either killing each other ...or recanting their disgust and getting it on. hahaha

Qurious 9 pts

@ Jamila Akil: Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you actually insinuate that expression of an opinion by a stranger impugns of your love life or dating options?  No one's opinion has any bearing on your self image or your desirability to other men. True story.

Jamila 7217 pts moderator

 Qurious "No one's opinion has any bearing on your self image or your desirability to other men. True story."

 

I understand and appreciate your sentiment but words that are spoken to a mass audience do indeed have the power to propagate stereotypes about an entire group of people, which in turn affects the individuals of that group.

Zindzi_Zenani 1399 pts

"There’s nothing wrong with strongly preferring black men, but I really wish those black women who DO have that preference would stop making it hard for those black women who DON’T feel the same."

 

BINGO.  And although I agree that Blacks can't be racist IN AMERICA, we can most definitely have prejudices.  Comparing being with a white man to eating shit is PREJUDICED, not to mention ignorant as hell.  As you said, you can have your preferences.  That's fine.  But personal preferences are best left PERSONAL.  Especially if they're that nasty and vulgar.  

 

And no, you won't hear ANY Black men saying the same ish about white womben.  HELL TO DA NAW.  I just wonder where Black womben like that think all this black-male worship will get them.  It hasn't taken us very far at this point.

kiki100 630 pts

@Zindzi_Zenani Your comment about Black male worship reminds me of a reviewer on amazon regarding the book 'Is Marriage for White People'. When someone said 'enough of the black male worship', another reviewer wrote back 'Well does white male worship get you anywhere'. LOL They didn't even get the point.

ElfeV 7093 pts

 kiki100  Zindzi_Zenani  yep. To hear some people tell it, being attracted to WM(or Rainbeaux) at all equals both 'worship' of them and 'bashing' of BM.

 

Talk about jumping to conclusions!

valeriesmith15 136 pts

 AleeL Totally agree with you, it is very vile and not neccessary, after all we are all God's children. If you want success in your life, you cannot insult someone else and think you will be blessed. Jane Dirt has a husband, I suggest, she concentrate on her husband and their marriage.  People need to look at the bigger picture. Parents have to bring up their children. The problem with black men being in jail goes back to Christelyn campaign about "No Wedding No Womb" and look how that ended.  When it was suggest that you only have sex when you were married or in a stable relationship and you have proper financies, people got mad and there was alot of abuse.  Yes, slavery was an evil, but we cannot hang on  to Jim Crow and what the slave masters  did or didn't do.  We are living in 2012 and we are mostly responsible for the decisions we make.

 

Some need to change our mindset, I'm all for black women marrying black men, but get involved with black men who are working, who can provide a home, husband and father material. Too many black women want to get involved with black men who have multiple baby mothers.  Why you are only putting yourself in poverty. There is too much of the barrel and crab attitude.  If you speak proper English, you are talking 'white', how foolish is that.  Lot of black people don't want to see the long term or the bigger picture.

 

I want to know all the screaming, about I would rather to this and that than date a white men, is controlling the resources of the sensible black women so that they feel that they cannot fully live the black community, all the pleading about the plight of the black men, is to make them feel guilty. The only person you have to answer to is The Almighty and yourself and as long as you always try to do the right thing, trust in God, you do not owe the black community anything.  God is there to sort them out,  and he will do it in His own time, after all He is eternal. You only have one life and to sort you out and not save Aunty Mimi, Big Mama, Big Papa, Your brother Jamal, your cousin Tyrone and his friends and Uncle Titus and the black community, You are placed to run your own race and be the person God wants you to be.

Christelyn 8747 pts moderator

FYI, the folks over at Clutch have gotten wise to Mr. Dirt...OMG I just LITERALLY ate a whole bag of popcorn. Well played, Jamila , well played.

IAOSingleMoms 876 pts

 Christelyn   Jamila Seriously???? So we just spent 254+ comments responding to some dude???? Wow...I'm tired....

Christelyn 8747 pts moderator

 ShunJack  Jamila LOL that was me tired last night...she's a woman. Just very insincere.

IAOSingleMoms 876 pts

 Christelyn   Jamila Oh...LOL..

Bunny77 2054 pts

I didn't get a chance to respond to this, but as soon as I saw who the writer was of the Clutch article, I rolled my eyes. Most of the stuff she writes is in the isht-starting category... she wrote another piece a while ago (not about WM) and it was so ridiculous. People commented and she answered a few in a cackling/mocking kind of way and then moved on to the next article.So... like many of the "writers" at Clutch, she's yet another who has zero credibility. Read her website... she describes herself as a past mistress as well.  Christelyn  

Aabaakawad 1098 pts moderator

 Bunny77  Christelyn Not surprized she couldn't maintain that career.

My latest conversation: ForumPress

Toni_M 18835 pts

 Christelyn   Jamila LOL....Uh oh.

blackwomanalive 373 pts

 Christelyn   Jamila What d you mean? Are they getting sick of her too? lol

Soul_Incites 360 pts

So much I could say, but I'd rather shower, watch Luther and go to sleep, so I'll keep it short:

 

if the writer is "happily" married to a BM, what's fueling all her vitriol toward WM? I would think that while she'll never let a WM whiff her jiff, she'll ALSO never let a BM WHO ISN'T HER HUSBAND whiff her jiff either. Am I missing something here? Why the laser focus on WM?

 

I mean, I get her thesis (having an attraction preference doesn't equal racism, rather, a systematic privileging and disadvantaging of people based on racial prejudice is what equals racism) but what she described wasn't preference. Making sex with WM sound like the worst thing in the world IS prejudice, thus undermining her own thesis!

 

And on top of that, to use racism to pigeonhole BM and erase THEIR agency as a means to further an already specious argument and get web clicks is so underhanded and disingenuous. As if racism is this unconquerable beast and BM have absolutely no choice or say in the matter of their lifestyles and cultural values. GTFOH. If you really care about making a dent in the high numbers of Black youth in jail, born into poverty, etc. it may be more useful to teach kids from an early age that they HAVE agency and the world is their oyster too and there is no racism powerful enough to stop them from claiming their pearls. If that kind of massive shift in consciousness happened across all the low-income Black neighborhoods, it wouldn't matter how many drugs the CIA pumps into those areas, how many cops are standing around ready to usher kids into the prison pipeline, how many employers close the door in their faces, those neighborhoods would start to prosper again and would be unstoppable.

 

So much for keeping it short, lol.

AJ2011 2310 pts

 Soul_Incites You really nailed it. 

AleeL 440 pts

 Soul_Incites 

 

Truth, from the first word to the last.

torgodog 77 pts

I guess I'm just a little too dumbfounded by her statement.  Seriously, she would put a cat turd in her mouth?

 

Forget the sex.  I couldn't even think about kissing someone who would eat a cat turd.

 

But on the other hand, I wouldn't mind watching a white guy make a pass at her just to see if she'd reach in her purse and pull out a cat turd.

Ricky T 481 pts

Those are the same women who still living in the past and complaining about slavery, this and that. Everyone in this world has been a slave, taken advantage of, or mistreated at one point or another.

 

Should China not do business with Japan because of raping of Nanking?

 

Should Germans be forever labeled racists and scums of earth because of the holocaust?

 

Should certain Africans pay off their fellow Africans that sold them off to Europeans?

 

...etc

 

c'mon man, we gotta stop being so small minded.

blackwomanalive 373 pts

 Ricky T

 

Best comment of the day.

 

Unfortuneatly for these types, they are so frustrated with the lack of progress of a disproportionate amount of AA's that they believe that holding on to their victim card will keep them relevant. I say, just let the victim card go and embrace the opportunities that our ancestors died and struggled to give you. That's what I'm doing and it's great at the top!

 

Peace

Law Wanxi 5792 pts

 Ricky T 

This is mostly for Ricky T; read and lurk if you want.

 

The problem with the slavery issue is that it greatly benefits a small group of Black Male Leadership quite well economically, both in monetary and non-monetary measures.  That's why they fan the fires of history, because there's "no meat in the rice bowl" should things change.  Keeping the whole slavemaster thing alive in the hearts of all including White people is their "iron ricebowl".  Where's the privilege of Whiteness for that shaky alcoholic homeless White guy who I see every day by my office parking garage?  Mostly in some tenured Black Studies professor's head, that's where.

 

The difference between the USA past and the Rape of Nanjing and The Holocaust is that there are still living survivors of both.  However, that is fading.  China as a whole is getting past December 1937, as HK got beyond December 1941.  Why?  Because there is no economic benefit to Nanjing and HK not doing business with Japan.  My grandfather Law actually learned to read and improve his speaking of Japanese in the early 1960's because he could see the money to be made from trading with Japan.  He'd fled Guangzhou in 1938 to HK, only to have bad deja vu in 1942.  Why didn't he crawl off to some boat to be bitter for the rest of his life?  He didn't live in the past; he was in love with the beautiful future he saw for himself and his pretty young wife [the first one and her children killed in 1939], the now Grandmother Chu.  

 

Oh, yes, there were Brits in HK and not all of them were nice, especially the lower orders.  It turned out that the best revenge was success.  He got there by living in the future and not in the past.  No money to be made in the past.  The past wouldn't put his kids through school.  All he actually ever wanted to be when he was young was an artist and calligrapher, but he ended up just rich instead.  

 

 

ASwirlGirl 3035 pts

 Law Wanxi  Ricky T

 This: "It turned out that the best revenge was success.  He got there by living in the future and not in the past.  No money to be made in the past.  The past wouldn't put his kids through school." "Onward and upward" is one of my life's mottos. If only people in the BC would fully grasp that and embrace it as a lifestyle!

Jay from Philly 679 pts

 Law Wanxi  Ricky T This right here. Especially the part about the white privilege for the homeless alchoholic existing mostly in the tenured professor's head.

Brenda55 19461 pts moderator

 Jay from Philly  Law Wanxi  Ricky T "This right here. Especially the part about the white privilege for the homeless alchoholic existing mostly in the tenured professor's head."

 

He nailed it yet again.

Ricky T 481 pts

 Law Wanxi appreciate the explanation!

MySmile 4172 pts

I still disagree with most of Jayne Dirt's Article but I changed my mind  about one thing...if a white guy is closed minded enough to assume you're not into him because a few black women said so, then the hell with him. Well actually, he can assume or have some doubts, because I think we all do, but if he lets that stop him from even talking to you then he wasn't worth it anyway. Sometimes it may not be because you're black though, but because he's shy! Black women are individuals.

Like someone below said, the more I think about it, I'm kind of glad a lot of white men are not sure if we are into them...some guys may get a little too cocky and think every black woman wants them just because they are white. I'd like to have a little more faith in them but I can't put it past them... My bf and a lot of white guys I know probably wouldn't be like that though. I kind of like the sense of mystery there...but maybe I'm just being a weirdo lol....That mystery and figuring each other out was kind of romantic and exciting with my boyfriend and I.  I don't want white men to think they don't have a chance with black women at all though! I think that's the main problem. I don't want them to feel entitled to anyone but they should at least feel like they might have a chance...anyways..I'm done now..my thoughts are all over the place lol.

Darknlovely12 119 pts

@MySmile I agree and a lot of black men feel entitled to white women.

MySmile 4172 pts

y Darknlovely12  MySmile yes, some men just feel like they're entitled to all women smh...They just think they're God's greatest gift to females.

Bellydancer 789 pts

It's funny how some of the commenters over there got mad and was saying "well if you don't agree then don't click or post over here etc... but when some bw suggested to one of the bm posting why did he link this site and keep harping on Christelyn, he told the bw "why, you mad bitch cuz I wanted to" so I let pigs wallow with pigs they seem to be happier dirty then clean.

Of course none of the other posters or the writer put that fool in check so if that's who's meat she wants in her mouth she can have at it.

 

MZ Elf 2726 pts

Some African men gave their own people away to the "transatlantic" perps....I would be more afraid of my so called brother back stabbing me! Brown skin doesn't change the black slave masters that still exist today in Africa.

 

Today, it is taking people like the "old slave masters" sons(Jason Mraz) to go over and help rescue children from their "own" people. My love scale is tipped hard for a man like Jason M.

 

Its really sexy thinking someone would risk their lives, crawl on jungle floors, wade through filthy water, sacrifice their health and life for brown children that are thrown into slavery.

 

http://www.cnn.com/2010/TRAVEL/06/28/jason.mraz.ghana.trip/index.html

MercedesHasLeftTheBuilding 1068 pts

there's  a saying i read once :

 

"Argue for your limitations and sure enough, they're yours."

Monique8 422 pts

To Ms. Dirt Please enjoy your cat poop. You're one less woman I have to compete with for a sane, quality, loving, gainfully employed, handsome WM. I'm sure the "brothas" that you are sooo adept at protecting will pat you on the head and call you a true "sista", give you a strong Black power fist, while they take out their slightly rotund white chick to Red Lobsters and have her pay for it, because as you correctly surmise it's really very hard out here for black men. I do have one request, if you don't mind. Please refrain from screaming this crap all over the place. It makes my work a bit harder to catch the eye of a quality WM because he's heard crap like what you're spewing and then he looks a pretty little chocolate brown me and thinks I'm a cat poop eater like you. But I'm not, I REALLY LIKE MEN and that includes WHITE MEN pale ding-a-ling and all. Perhaps a large caveat at the end and beginning or your post stating that this only YOUR ratther warped preference beacuse you drank the Kool-Aid and really liked it would be somewhat helpful. Thanks and good luck with your sista soldering...you'll certainly need it. Signed ImmaFreeBlackWomanWhoDatesWhoeverTheHayellSheWants

MZ Elf 2726 pts

 Monique8  Can I share your "signature" name? IFBWWDWTHSW......in short...lol!

IAOSingleMoms 876 pts

 Mocha Z  Monique8 Same here...can I share...LOL

Monique8 422 pts

@ShunJack @Mocha Z Yes of course but only if gourds truly free :)

Monique8 422 pts

That, of course, should be "you're" and iPhone. I am educated really I am :)

MercedesHasLeftTheBuilding 1068 pts

 Monique8 

 

standing ovation ..copy.print.save.

SMH 7 pts

 Monique8 I actually agree with your signature but can you please carry on and do that WHILE leaving black men out of your equation?

 

ps: If any guy actually found you desirable, a silly article wouldn't deter him. And It's a little silly to call anyone rotund when black females are the chunkiest demographic in America

Toni_M 18835 pts

 SMH  Monique8  Oh sit down some place. This community is not about the black male ego, and any sensible black man knows this isn't about him anyway.

 

Just the DBR variety....who always show up to defend themselves because they aren't "genius" enough to not give away the fact that they are low lives.

Qurious 9 pts

 Toni_M  SMH  Monique8 Wow. I'm sorry daddy left, but that has nothing to do with what I said. I'm actually here to understand a phenomenon that may support a theory that I have. My healthy  tax remittances that aid your welfare habits do not support your hallucination that I'm a low life. Or are you just mad that I used the word chunky?  

 

Sweetie, stick to the topic or let the author defend herself.

Christelyn 8747 pts moderator

 Qurious  Toni_M  SMH  Monique8 Qurious, because this is not an open forum. You are here at the whims of the Queens. After two years of blogging, I can smell a troll right through my computer screen.