Oprah’s Interview With Rihanna: The Negative Impact of a Dysfunctional Father

Sunday night when I turned on the television to watch Oprah’s interview with Rihanna, one thing was clear. A weight had been lifted off Rihanna’s shoulders, and she wasn’t hiding it. Her long wavy hair, bright colored dress, and carefree laugh showed it all. This may have been the work of a good PR team, or a good dose of that Barbados air, but it was obvious that she was happy. A big change from the shredded clothing, inky black haircut, and hardcore lyrics we had been used to seeing her in.

This was aside from the fact that she had just lost one of her best friends– her grandmother. The person who had given her the insight and friendship she needed to get through living a life in the public eye. But even with this mourning going on, the conversation had to make a turn. And yes, Chris Brown was right there waiting at the corner.

It seems as though the mourning of her relationship with Chris Brown is just as strong as the mourning of her grandmother.  When pictures of her face swarmed our T.V. and computer screens, she wasn’t concerned about herself. She was concerned about how the world was negatively viewing Chris Brown. She felt “protective of him.”

Even now, years later she still looks back on their relationship and calls it love. Not just love, but her true love.

WOW. It really scares me to think that she still believes Brown was her true love. How is her next relationship going to improve, if all she can do is look back?

Rihanna stated that one of the best pieces of advice her grandmother gave her was to marry a guy that loved her more than she loved him, because “A man will only meet you half way if they love you a little more.”

I can’t argue that this isn’t great advice. But why isn’t Rihanna following it?

She says that she has been able to forgive Chris Brown because she has finally been able to cease the hatred in her heart for her Dad.

AHA. So here’s the reason: HER DAD.

I can’t pretend to understand what it’s like coming from a broken home, or having a Father that has abused the person who gave you birth.

But I do know that a father is your first male figure, and your parent’s relationship is your first example of how a relationship should be.

Even the smallest details have an impact. My parents don’t go to the grocery store together, and I don’t think my mom has ever asked my Dad’s opinion on what she was wearing.  So when I see this happening with other married couples it’s peculiar to me.

But even being surrounded by college girls, it is easy to see that your view of your Dad has a powerful impact on who you date. Whether that means you’re looking to be a trophy wife, date a guy that has no respect for you, or just be plain independent, it makes a big difference.

And in Rihanna’s case, it made a negative one.  Although it is great that she has been able to make peace with her Dad and her relationship with Chris Brown, I think it’s a little unsafe for her to be THAT CLOSE. The fact that she refers to him as one of her best friends, and so much of who she is is impacted by the definition of her relationship with him is dangerous, because it may be temporary.

Although his relationship with Rihanna may be stable now, it’s when he’s not stable that’s scary. How will that affect her happiness? We’ve all seen that side before…

—What do you guys think: Is Rihanna’s relationship with Chris Brown healthy? How has your parent’s relationship affected yours? Is there a way to avoid relationship struggles even with an absent father?