Question of the Week: Losing Weight Resulting in Non-black Women Haters

Hello Lovely Ladies at BBW,

My name is Estee. I’m 23 years old African American woman orignally from
South Florida. I’m writing because I have a request for Mrs. Karazin. Could
you write an article about black women losing weight, becoming mainstream
attractive and getting hate from white and non-black women?

Recently I’ve embarked on a weightloss journey. In 3 months I’ve lost 25
lbs. I went from a US size 12 to a 6. I look like a US size 6. (I’m also
5’7 or 170cm tall)

Now, you should know that I’m traveling at the moment. I’ve been living in
Sydney, Australia for 6 months. So I’m not in contact with any African
American people…or any black people at all really. I’m surrounded by
whites and Asians (oriental and central asia etc).

And let me tell you the looks of intimidation and hatred I get are crazy.
The orientals are intimidated out of their minds and just stare or pull
their white boyfriends away. The white girls stay away, far away. The older
white women..a large minority seem to really dislike me. The older white
women always stare at me when I’m at the park with the kids I nanny….

It’s weird because I’m not even wearing makeup and my hair isn’t done yet.
But I’m hourglass shaped so I lost the weight but kept my bra size and
little booty, so basically my body looks really good. This experience has
taught me that it is SOOO important for Black women to lose weight, because
then we become a force to be reckoned with.

Anyway, could you write an article about hateration from white
women/nonblack women when black women start looking good? I feel like I’m
in a whole other world. The way people interact with you…it seems that a
lot of whites are actually afraid of me, male and female. The males have
not asked me out, they seem too afraid to make eye contact. Or they just
stare from a distance. (Seem more like american white males, probably due
to the colonial history of the country. Only the loser white males dating
Orientals in mass, never see one with a dark skinned woman of any type) But
that’s another topic…

Lots of love from down under,

E

Hey E, glad you wrote in, and congrats on your weight loss! Okay; here’s the deal with the looks and stares that you’re getting from the women around you–since most of them probably don’t know you’ve lost a ton of weight upon first meeting you, the hourglass brick house you’re walking around with is so bombastic as to cause those Aussie’s to grab their men a little tighter. Perhaps they’ve seen “Precious” one too many times and thought all black women were morbidly obese. Or worse, they think you’re some sort of Jezebel, waiting to put some kind of voodoo spell on any man who looks upon you, and immediately cause him to dump who he’s with and fall at your feet.

One thing you might not realize is that many white and Asian women have an invested interest in pigeonholing black women into the other, extra things, not feminine, and therefore no competition for them. You’re alright to hang out with when you’re the rotund sidekick who’s happy to forgo her own happiness and listen to the endless ramblings of girlish insecurities like “the magical negress.” That’s not you, and that might just scare the begeezus out of them. The women also might be responding to the way their men are looking at you. You mentioned that there are no black people where you are, and you’re probably being received in the way a 5’11 natural, blue-eyed blond would be in the U.S. When I was single 300 hundred years ago, I went to Disneyland with a girlfriend, and two Australian men follow us dang near all over the park. When we finally called them on it, they said they never seen black women so beautiful. The only thing close was the Aborigines, and honestly, they’re very nasty and racist toward them.

You also mentioned in a separate email that these reactions you’re getting might be related to your newly unveiled confidence. People definitely give off different vibes from when they want to be invisible because of one insecurity or another, or when they want to be seen.

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