After 50-11 different articles, studies, and research papers which have been published over the years showing that black Christian woman are a lonely bunch, we now have it straight from the horse’s mouth (i.e., “the good Christian man”): “I am not trying to find a wife in the church pew, second to the left, directly in front of the organist!”
In an article titled “Why Won’t Christian Men Date Women Who Go To Their Church?“, Christy Krumm lays out the 5 reasons why Christian men don’t date women with whom they attend church.
Reason #1: Good Christian men care about their reputations. Really, who wants to look up from prayer on Sunday morning and find the pastor giving you the side-eye because you broke up with another long-time member of the congregation last Friday?
Reason #2: Fewer options. How many women can you date in a church before every single woman is either a woman who you have dated, or a friend of a woman who you have dated? Once a man dates one woman and it doesn’t work out, every women that the woman he dated knew is now off-limits to him.
Reason #3: It complicates things. Once a man breaks up with you (or you break up with him) he does not want to have to work with you on the fundraising committee for the new chandelier for the lobby.
Reason #4: There are so many better ways to meet women. Yes, ladies and gentleman, there are good Christian men and women OUTSIDE of church too. Friends can hook you up. There is online dating. Meetup.com. Wine tasting events. Opportunities are abundant to meet men and women outside of church. Church services are usually only day a week; what are you doing the other 6 days of the week to meet a partner?
Reason #5: It feels inappropriate. Some people still think church is a place to fellowship with other Christians and to commune with God. Yes, there still men who attend church for its original purposes. Shocking, isn’t it? On Sunday a good Christian man is trying to get his spirit right for the rest of the week, not looking for a hookup.
There are plenty of places to meet men, Christian and otherwise, outside of church if you are seriously looking to meet men. No one–black woman or otherwise–should be looking for a husband in church. If you find a mate in church, that’s great. But the church pews were not intended to be a mating hunting ground. And as you can see, it will be pretty difficult to find a mate in church if you are a single woman looking for a husband but the men are not there looking for a wife.
I tried the church thing years ago. Made friends with the pastor, volunteered for committees and such, went on a few dates. Ran into too many ultra-Christian ladies (not that there's anything wrong with being in love with the lord) but every date felt like we had Jesus along with us in the passenger seat (while I road alone in the backseat). Maybe it was just the church, or the class of women I was attracting/attracted to during that period of my life.
Long and the short was all five of those rules are right on point. I speak from (bad) experience.
On another note, the grocery store on a Tuesday or Wednesday morning around 9-10am works great as a pickup location. (Sorry, player mode slipped in there)
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