Ah…the feminine mystique. It’s definition is often hard to articulate, but like art vs. porn, you know it when you see it. It’s more than wearing a certain color, fancy designer bag, or perfume. It’s all of that, and none of that. Sometimes I feel as though we black women exaggerate a look to the point of ridiculousness. Men like long hair, some of us buy weaves three feet long. Makeup is magic, but some of us cake it on so thick we look like men trying to impersonate women. Perfume is alluring, but some of us bath in bottles of the cheap stuff. Some of us need to dial it way back and turn off all the reality shows.Confused? Let me break it down.
YES.
NO.
YES.
NO.
What. The. Hell. 👀
YES.
NO.
Feeling feminine and looking feminine starts in the mind and then expresses itself through your mannerisms and presentation.
So why not fake it till you make it? Just like clothes make the man, perfume and heels make the woman.
Less is More!
From a fashion point of view, feminine is delicate, flowing, and light. Leave the chunky heels and bomber jacket way way waaaaay in the back of your closet.
Here’s some of my favorite, delicate looks. I love soft colors and sheer fabrics, coupled with dainty earrings. You can see if these looks are available in your size at Goodnight Macaroon. Click the icons on the photos to be directed to my You Tube video about the subject and Instagram, where I highlight my favorite makeup, hair and fashion looks.
LOL…”HotGhettoMess.com”???? WTF is that! 🙂
BWC
Yeah, they look and go out anyway. SMDH.
A discussion we need to have more of and that I enioy ! Femininity is feminist approved. 🙂
Aww Chris why do you have to go after my bomber jacket like that? Lol I love my black and green bomber jacket.
I really like those earrings! I keep forgetting to buy some more.
No just….NO
*face desks*
LucyBB
Agree 100% LMAO!
OT
We’re on tonight, its
Thursday the usual time 7:00PM EST. Just bragging, right I ran into Jim Acosta
CNN’s Senior White House Correspondent last night- Let me tell you guys, he is
VERY handsome in the flesh and I was stumbling over my words when I tried to
speak with him but he must be use to people like me- he was very gracious.
OK, call in number is
657-383-0801 see you all at 7PM.
I just can’t with some of this- saw something yesterday that reminds me of Tamar’s outfit. All I can do is SMDH. Ridiculous!
Silverroxen I have extras I can send you. 🙂
What a coincidence I was just thinking about you. I was sitting her thinking “Hey isn’t it Thursday, where’s Trinigirl?” I totally forgot that you sold jewelry. What don’t you do? 😀
Alright, I’d look at the girl with her butt sticking out, but she’s not the type I’d take home to mother.
OT
QUICK REMINDER I’LL
BE ON RADIO SOON! CALL ME LET’S TALK- 657-383-0801
LOVE IN BLACK &
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Silverroxen
LOL I have like 3-4 things going at any given time it seems, can’t help myself.
Oh dear!
jazzyfae45
I know, right? As some of these magazine articles say you can use it to “toughen up” a look that’s “too sweet.”
You’re right, more like a one night stand or “friends with benefits” situation!
OK, it’s easy work to take cheap shots at the last picture, especially with the HotGhettoMess.com watermark.
But, let’s not be so judgemental; who here knows what her internal struggles are and how they affect her choices in attire? The real question is what would you have her wear? She’s not going to fit in any of the suggested outfits.
I think a good place for her to start would be with any of the Goddess Caftans from Ashro, but that’s just me. Suggestions?
OT
A huge thank you to
Brenda55,Ole Skool, Ari, PJ Dean and Socialbutterfly for joining us for the
first time—last night’s show was great!
I thank you all again for the love and support. Sorry none of the guys joined us but we had a
great conversation. It’s a couple of
hours so listen when you have time!
http://www.blogtalkradio.com/loveinblackandwhite/2016/08/11/talking-about-current-events-this-week-8-11-2016
Law Wanxi A Moo Moo.
Ratchet Wear Extraordinaire. . . 2-4-6 Photos.
I’m listening to the podcast now, it’s an excellent discussion. 🙂
Law Wanxi
A woman her size does not have to look like this. I am a big women myself so I know. I have even seen women bigger that this young lady dressed better. This young women shows a lack of style wearing cheap, poorly made clothing accessorized garishly Dollar store and street vendor finds, probably the best she can afford.
This look is no accident. She knows exactly what she looks like, took a lot of time to pull that outfit together and is cool with it.
U0001f602 Really?
Silverroxen Thanks so much. You and Dezzi’s Collaboration is BA , (BadAss) You two ladies Rock!
Hahaha! Thanks ole’skool! 🙂
Savage Tango LOL! You wish!
I’m glad you wrote this. I think that sometimes people in general and darker skinned BW in particular think that it’s their skin tone or hair texture that causes them to NOT HAVE quality relationships or quality options when sometimes it’s the way they present themselves or conduct themselves.
Yes.
I’m not into fashion? It just isn’t me. But what I’ve observed. The sexiest women are the ones that are comfortable with what they are wearing, and how they feel about themselves.
You ladies have seen this type of woman. She could be at a coffee shop or library, bookstore – with a sweat top on, jeans, tennis shoes, minimum of makeup, a casual afro puff, braids, or dread locks, sitting there drinking her tea and absorbed in a book.
Nothing about her is contrived, made up. out for attention. She is fit, has glowing skin, her own teeth, and a presence about her that speaks “self awareness” “comfortable in her own skin” and “don’t care what society thinks of her.”
Those are the types that are my inspiration.
Halloween or a night if Decadence in Bew Orleans.
Silver tongue:)
I think there is a way to talk about this without reinforcing ugly stereotypes about black women and handing them up for ridicule. If a black man posted “ghetto” images of black women and told everyone that this is the way we are and that we don’t know how to be feminine, I’m sure you would have a fit. If this type of content matters and has power when black men are putting it out there, then that applies here as well. It doesn’t make sense to complain that people treat black women harshly, disrespectfully, and without consideration or giving the benefit of the doubt; if you are going to then do the same thing.
Why not just present a style segment, without all the harmful, degrading, condescending rhetoric and images? It’s really unnecessary and makes me wonder who exactly this is for. Am I as a black woman supposed to be amused at this or get off on mocking them? I don’t feel that way when black men, white men, white women, or latina women do it and I don’t feel that way now. I am really curious as to who the intended audience is.
You could just present your preferred style with some tips, instead of spotlighting the worst representation you could find and degrading other black women for attention. I enjoy classically feminine style, but that is definitely not the way I determine how worthy of respect another woman is. Furthermore, this isn’t even the only way to be feminine. There are a lot of women who do not fit into the stereotypical one-note pastel model, but are still feminine and have amazing style. It would be way more effective and positive to just reach out to other style/image bloggers and do a cross-promotion. That would showcase black women as being normal and mainstream along with forming helpful alliances and friendships. This is really just a softer version of what you supposedly hate about certain men and their sites.
Let these women wearing the “ratchet attire” be, so what if you don’t approve of there outfit or it’s not your taste, by posting these pictures without these women permission and comparing them to other women that look “put together” doesn’t make it right. It takes a lot of confidence and self love for those women to wear those outfits in public, if you don’t approve that’s your opinion. those women who don’t dress modestly aren’t hurting anybody and are simply enjoying themselves. I don’t think it’s right to simply say a women who dresses modestly are seen better than those who aren’t. And you saying “Feeling feminine and looking feminine starts in the mind and then expresses itself through your mannerisms and presentation.” Those women in “ratchet clothes” look pretty damn confident and probably feel feminine in what there wearing and are probably really nice women. But of course based on what there wearing you probably assume they don’t have nice mannerisms. Stop shaming women for feeling confident in what there wearing because it’s not up to your standards or dress.
OT
OUR SHOW IS TONIGHT
AT 7:00PM AS USUAL, WHO’S JOINING ME AND WHAT DO YOU WANT TO TALK ABOUT OR
SHARE? YOUR CALL IN NUMBER IS
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TRINI
Don’t forget to join
me tonight I’m talking about the happenings in Rio and Why are some BW such a
pain when it comes to dating? Call me
657-383-0801 looking forward to the conversation.