Weight Loss Surgery?  Sometimes You Just Need Help

Weight Loss Surgery? Sometimes You Just Need Help

Hear some real, compassionate talk from a former gastric bypass patient.

Author : SwirlQueen

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I am going to jump on the black woman weight loss/healthy eating bandwagon riding through Beyond Black and White for the past few days.  But I am going to come from a slightly different perspective.  I look at so many black women and want to cry out to them to get help with the morbid obesity robbing them of their lives.  Most of us appreciate good, Southern food that tastes delicious and seems to be found in almost every household.  At least it is that way at my relatives’ throughout Montgomery, Alabama.  I had to have a heart to heart with my mother that this food is killing us.  In moderation one can look forward to special occasions and hurt oneself with hammock seasoned greens, pork made in a variety of ways that no longer appeal to me (just bacon).  One can find a variety of cakes and pies and just good food.  My complaint is that these foods are a daily consumption in many of these households.  You don’t have to be in Alabama or the South to find these dangerously-delicious foods.  They are alive and well in almost any home that has southern roots or relatives.  This food is killing us.

There is a lot to be said for self-control and discipline.  And I see so many obese women taking back their lives, getting up and moving.  They are cutting out the grease and excess sugar.  They are loading up on the greens, vegetables and water.  I champion the sister who can on her own decide that she is going to live and take her life back from the brink of death.  She is a hometown hero to her children and family.  She is an inspiration to others who feel hopeless and, in the end, she is proud of her success and eventual weight loss.

But there are several more sisters out there who for whatever reason have allowed themselves to tip the scales so much as they need to be weighed on electronic devices.  The old-time or even digital bathroom scales simply will not work for them.  I recently saw the video about 29-year-old Mikel Ruffinelli.  She is proud of her curves but looking at her I see someone who can hardly get up without assistance.   Ruffinelli says she has a genetic condition that has caused her to balloon to her present size.  Who are we to say she does not?  Many things can contribute to weight gain.

I also recall the recent story about the 32-years-young Ulanda Williams.  A woman who weighs 400 pounds and fell through a concrete sidewalk. I am sure she will laugh all the way to the bank when she is done with New York City, but it doesn’t detract from the fact that she is a walking heart attack waiting to happen.  Women (and men) like Ruffinelli and Williams who think they are just fine must be in such low depths of denial, that even common sense starts to sound crazy.  If you are morbidly obese (70 to 100 pounds overweight), just do what you need to do get that weight off and live.  I am not without compassion; as a matter of fact, I was one of you.  Some can do it without help, some can’t.  And for those who need help, there are surgical solutions.  There should be no shame nor judgment for those who chose to get assistance with weight loss in this manner.  I say do it how you do it.  Just lose the weight and get healthy.  And don’t think that just because you are not as big as the women here that you are still not obese, if you have a body mass index or BMI of 30 to 40 or greater.

Being a recent transplant to the Los Angeles area, I was thrilled to find The Khalili Center .  They are a bunch of young ultra modern doctors who specialize in bariatric care.  I was referred for a hernia that had been giving me fits for over a year and they were able to help find and clear a staph infection that would have threatened my life.  My doctor, Dr. Eraj Basseri, suggested that I needed to lose weight in order to make my hernia repair more successful.  So I did what I had to do.  I am a previous gastric bypass patient and because of past health issues, I did not qualify for this traditional weight loss surgery.  There are more high tech procedures now than when I first had this procedure done in 1993.  Back then you got a big long abdominal cut (and scar) and recovery was 2 to 3 weeks.  It was extremely painful and made me regret my decision to have it.  I was not prepared for that intense level of pain and  I tell you what, if you went in an atheist, you came out a believer.  I don’t know when was the last time I called on Jesus’ name so much.  But I survived losing 70 pounds.  The good doctors at the Khalili Center do all of their procedures laparoscopically.  A few nicks in the tummy and some go home the next day.  I am very thankful that I can refer this group of doctors for morbidly obese women in the southern California area.  And as I mentioned, they are general surgeons too who were also able to help me and others with non-weight loss surgery issues as well.

The Khalili Center has patients from all over California and provides a wealth of information with various supports systems including a monthly walk with the doctors in a nearby Beverly Hills Park.  I have seen some patients with wonderful results including beautiful black women.  You have to do your part and it is not easy.  After evaluations and consultations, and surgery if you qualify, there is a constant commitment to improving your life and losing the weight, as the surgery is just a tool.  There are vitamins to take for life and there is learning how to eat and stay ahead of plateaus.  If you follow directions and take responsibility for your health, you can lose weight that should NOT return.

The Beverly Hills office is chic and posh and reminded me of that “Nip/Tuck” show because even the building is white; but don’t be intimidated as the staff and doctors are super friendly and caring.  Regardless of the aesthetics, the dedicated doctors are saving lives, helping the morbidly obese relieve their weight and co-morbidity problems thereby prolonging life.  If you want help or need help to lose weight and take back control of your life, make a phone call and set up a consultation.   If you live outside of southern California, bariatric surgical centers are all over the place.  There is a myriad of information out there on procedures with online support groups too.  And if the surgeon you found doesn’t have information on the latest advancements in gastric bypass procedures then you may want to find a practice that has the most current information available on weight loss surgery.

Finally, just know that your eating habits will change and your body will eventually adjust.  Be committed and you will be beyond successful. The surgery is not without risks, but I would rather take my chances in a thinner healtier body than just existing in a body that will eventually fail due to morbid obesity.   You will eventually be able to go up those stairs or hills effortlessly.  You may become a workoutaholic, or just keep on walking, as long as you exercise.  You will also be able to eventually indulge in the good food that contributed to the obesity, but you will eating a whole lot less of it.

Star Jones before and after gastric bypass surgery.

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Dianne Daniels 5 pts

I underwent lap band surgery in 2008 to save my life. Family history includes high blood pressure, heart disease, stroke, and obesity. I am happy you shared this article and agree that sometimes you just need help. I had tried a LOT of different diet, exercise and eating plans, including Weight Watchers, TOPS, fasting, liquid protein, etc. I lost 85 lbs in 14 months, and I'm off of all the medication I used to need to take. I encourage anyone who may want to undergo any type of weight loss surgery to get all the information they need to be as comfortable as possible, but don't wait too long. Every day you delay because of fear is another day you could have been living your new life. Every surgery is not for everybody - its a combination of your personality, your physical condition, and how you relate to your medical team that helps to determine your success. Whichever surgery you decide on - it's a TOOL to help you do the work - it will not do the work FOR you.

 

Having been overweight most of my adult life, I can say without reservation that if I had it to do all over again, I'd get the surgery again.

Toni_M 20108 pts moderator

 Dianne Daniels Thank you for posting this and I'm happy to hear your surgery was successful. :)

Quick Weight Loss 6 pts

Hello, I appreciate your awesome blog. I just say- try simply eating less food before you resort to counting every calorie you take in. Most of the time, when people discuss healthy diets, they talk only about things like ingredients and number of calories. Portion sizes are far more important. Eating less food will give you a better diet. thanks all!

rani123 5 pts

you look so good I am so depressed, I live in London  I am 40yrs old weight 13 stones and I am 4ft 3inch , with diabetic and high blood pressure. I been rejected by nhs my bmi is over 35, My parents died young 48 and 50 and I am scared. I really want the gastric bypass done but cnt afford private just dnt know what to do.

Serita 88 pts

I would love to see more on this topic. As to what weight loss surgery is best for you, and what the side effects and dangers are from surgery to surgery, even the recovery times.

I am a bigger woman. I am 28 years old and I am SO frustrated. 

I go out to eat and my friends comment on how little I eat. I go to the gym at least 3 times a week for about 2 hours. 

I count calories and I try to eat salads and I even cut those in half.

Both of my parents are overweight. Even morbidly obese, but I don't want to excuse just genetics. 

I just feel hopeless. I go and I weigh myself and I gain weight. I know that as a black woman, that if I am even going to have the smallest hope, I need to lose weight. And even with personal trainers and calorie counting, it doesn't seem like it is going to happen.

So, I would love to see more of the weight loss surgery options. I will have to wait, as I am a full time graduate student and money is something out of reach right now, but I must set my sights on the future. I am that much closer to 30 and being alone.

SwirlQueen 1067 pts

 Serita

 Sweetheart, you will have to see a surgeon.  The BPD DS is the most effective but you will have to take your vitamins for life.  Don't waste your time on a band.  But talk to your doctor and it is nobody's business what you decide to do.  Don't let anyone guilt trip you or scare you out of it as you have to do what is best for you.  You seem fed up and ready to take action.  If you are in Cali, I would suggest you find these doctors.  But if you are in a major city, you should find someone who does it.  Again, you have to do what is best for you, your body and your life.  You'll be able to wear medium and small clothing and feel liberated in your new body.  Just take the necessary steps, follow directions and get moving. Walking is well enough for exercise.  Within a few months, you see the weight melt off.  Take care and email me privately if you wish.  All the best to you and remember that someone is always going to have something to say about what you do with your body and own money.  Pay them no attention and get on with your life and happiness.

Leille 164 pts

If you want a fat face and a skinny body, and loose skin,  go for it.. It doens't cure what you've done to your arteries...

 

Quit looking for the easy way out and just do a complete lifestyle change, exercise, eat healthier, and be a healthy weight for you, and not anyone else. See a dietician. If they don't reccomend gastric bypass, then don't be lazy... Find a sport, dance or something you enjoy to get moving, so it's not a chore; I do Muay Thai kickboxing, boxing and spar 3-4 days a week.

 

My rant...

SwirlQueen 1067 pts

 Leille

 I hope you feel better after your rant.  This is why some people won't come forward as it is because they feel judged.  There is nothing easy about a life changing decision that can help some folks get to where they can get moving easier.  If you do what works for you, then you really don't have to worry about what steps anyone else takes to get their life back regardless of how they got there.  I encourage anyone morbidly obese to take whatever steps necessary.  If they can do it natually good for them.  We all know there is no substitute for proper diet and exercise.  But if a person needs to have this surgery, then so be it. 

Sophia 486 pts

This is not meant as any sort of criticism.  I am genuinely curious.  Are there not reprucussions for this sort of surgery of the life-threatening sort?.  And if a person has to watch their weight after the surgery and commit to completely changing their eating habits, then why not do it BEFORE surgery?. 

BlackWomenDeserveBetter 1910 pts

 Sophia You are right, every surgery involves risk. This procedure is NOT to be taken lightly, or ill-advisedly. On the other hand, something weird happens after one surpasses a certain weight: Depending on genetics and other factors, our fat cells will expand where it is a monumental feat getting them to shrink back to a normal size. At 5'2 and nearly 250lbs, I could only lose 20lbs before hitting a wall, then gaining even more. The yo-yo cycle can be more detrimental than WLS, due to the stress on our hearts (Think poor Luther Vandross).

My latest conversation: Mele Kalikimaka – On Vacation

BlackWomenDeserveBetter 1910 pts

 Lorraine Spencer  May have recent data on this :D

My latest conversation: Mele Kalikimaka – On Vacation

SwirlQueen 1067 pts

 Sophia

 Surgery is not a magic pill, it is a tool to help get the job done.  It is just a tool.

Brenda55 20980 pts moderator

I looked into the surgery also but have decided not to go that route.  It is an option for those whose health is such that their lives are on the line due to the increase weight they are carrying.

 

Though I was well over 300 lbs when I started getting in shape my labs were in the high normal range.  That means that I was headed for major health problems if I did not turn it around.  My body was sending me warnings that if I kept on the path that I was on the I was looking at type 2 diabetes and the like.  I did not like the direction that my health was trending but I have time to fix the damage that I have already done to myself. 

 

For those who are already at risk  or who's health has already deteriorated you have to weigh your options and weight loss surgery is one of them.

 

 

BlackWomenDeserveBetter 1910 pts

 Brenda55 Whatever route you decide on, please take care and do something good for yourself daily! :D

My latest conversation: Mele Kalikimaka – On Vacation

Brenda55 20980 pts moderator

 BlackWomenDeserveBetter I am doing it slow and steady with a change in diet and exercise.  It is starting to pay off.

The Working Home Keeper 6994 pts

Thank you for sharing your story SwirlQueen! 

BlackWomenDeserveBetter 1910 pts

 The Working Home Keeper Yes indeed...Inspirational with some great tips!

My latest conversation: Mele Kalikimaka – On Vacation

DarlingNikki69 319 pts

Thanks for this. I looked into it. The surgery is expensive and my insurance will not pay for it, not morbdily obese. While I'm not huge, I do wish to loose and keep off 75 pounds. Congrats to all those who get it done, and love it.

BlackWomenDeserveBetter 1910 pts

 DarlingNikki69 If you care to pursue WLS in the future, other health issues i.e., diabetes, arthritis, injuries etc. can reduce the initial requirement from 100%  to 75%. More specifically, you may only be required to have 75-80lbs excess, rather than 100 or more if there is an aggravating condition....

My latest conversation: Mele Kalikimaka – On Vacation

BlackWomenDeserveBetter 1910 pts

I don't regret mine...Would do it 100x over! :D

My latest conversation: Mele Kalikimaka – On Vacation