I know what you’re thinking. And yes; had I know Matthew when I was single, I would DEFINITELY NOT been miserable. (hardy- har-har)
His obvious hotness aside, this guy really knows his stuff. I mean, really. I just read his e-book, “Secrets of the Male Mind,” and honestly, this is the first time I’ve read advice from a man’s perspective that had no perceptible whiff of horse manure. Too bad what I found within was so late coming, because it would have saved me a lot of heartache and used condoms before I met The Hubster.
But the great part of this blog is that I have the opportunity to be the big sister I always wished I had, and hopefully steer young black women to make better choices about finding their dream guy. I found mine, but I basically tripped and fell on him. There was no implementation of “The Rules,” in fact, I broke every single one of them. But for the grace of God go I…
There’s been a lot of stuff I’ve learned since getting hitched, and I’ll be dayumed that any of you should have to go through all the crappola I did before I “got the guy.”
That’s where Matthew’s program comes in. His advice is practical, hands on, and most importantly, SPECIFIC.
Matthew Give the “Why” and the “How”
The importance of setting standards:
Often out of insecurity or desperation we can settle for people that we just know arenâ€™t right for us. And deep down, if we are really honest about the relationships that we have had in the past, we could spot the initial problem in the first week of dating those guys. Only what happened is that we chose to ignore it, because it felt uncomfortable to confront, or because we were afraid that if we held out longer we might not find someone else.
But the secret is, when you have standards, you become infinitely more attractive to men. People will sense that you wonâ€™t settle for less than you deserve, and as such theyâ€™ll bring their best selves to the table, because they know thatâ€™s what you expect from them. Of course, if you have high standards itâ€™s crucial that you hold yourself to the same level.
Here’s another little gem. He advises women to get know know personal trainers at the gym. Here’s why:
Knowing the personal trainers is a goldmine for knowing anyone else in the gym. The trainers can introduce you to just about anybody, and they are really easy to talk to, since all you have to do is ask for their help with an exercise or get them to create a workout regime for you. Once you know them you can say hi every time you go back.
And some of you have been fretting about how much eye contact to give, yada yada.
Many women fall into the ice-queen trap, where their default facial expression gives off the impression of: â€œIf you come up to me, Iâ€™ll rip your face offâ€.
Is it any wonder these women find themselves frustrated that guys donâ€™t speak to them? By the way Iâ€™m not picking on women here, because guys have the same problem. Most guys lean against the bar trying to look stony faced like James Bond, thinking if they just look cool enough then a woman will go weak at the knees.
If you want guys to feel relaxed and OK with approaching you, itâ€™s so important to smile and look approachable. Lose the â€œmodel poutâ€ (the moody look which you think makes you look like a supermodel but which makes him think â€œNo way am I gonna try and talk to herâ€).
You can still be sexy and look like youâ€™re having a good time. Women laughing and smiling is a massive aphrodisiac; thatâ€™s why men instinctively want to make women laugh, because it turns us on. As long as itâ€™s not because youâ€™re drunk, because that will turn a guy off.
And that’s just the first few chapters. If you need more convincing, just go to Matthew’s site so he can convince you more. He’s better with the ladies than I am.
And just for some eye candy…