Meet Marcene! She wrote me recently with a wonderful story:
I’m a black woman who was born and raised in Toronto, Canada with Jamaican heritage.Culturally, my experiences differ from most of my African American sisters. However, our unfortunate culture of hardship and struggle remains the tie that binds.My hometown, Toronto, boasts a cornucopia of cultures, and interracial dating is widely accepted. However, it is still not as common to see black women with white men as it is to see black men with white or non-white women. This could be attributed to most black women my age or older are first generation Canadians raised with the unwritten expectation to “Find a good black man.”I married, despite my better judgement, An African American man deeply embedded in the Black Church..Something to which I had no prior experience. Long story short, it was a marriage that produced 3 beautiful children. However, it was riddled with grave abuse and adultery. All of which was protected and excused by the “Spiritual Leaders” with their own agenda.I left my marriage with nothing. No car, home, job (my income was linked to managing his career). Nothing–but my self respect, dignity and resolve to write a better story for myself and children.I entered into a loving relationship with an educated, cultured African American man that lasted for years.. We were engaged for a good portion of those years, but for an internal reason, my spirit would not allow my to pull the trigger. I have nothing negative to say about him or my experience..Fast forward to today, I am in a beautiful, fun, honest, intercultural AND interracial relationship (he is from the South–accent and all). He is the quintessential example of what a man should be: Hardworking, loyal, great provider, great father, dependable, devoted, spiritual but not religious,fun, marriage focused. He loves me and my children wholeheartedly, and I’ve never felt so cherished.Unfortunately, we, rather, I receive harsh criticism from Black men, while white southerners stare with a quiet disbelief.My relationship with this very Southern white man, who, by the way, never dated interracially before, is healthy and one that I am proud to have my children emulate when they choose a mate. It’s a sad day when love is overlooked for cultural and/or racial allegiance.I applaud you for your courage to speak candidly about Black women opening themselves to interracial dating, and for speaking to their soul to identify their resistance. It is my hope that they hear you… Loud and clear.
Here lovely family…
Check out there new You Tube channel and follow the family’s experiences as an interracial and intercultural family.
For more about the family, check out their Family Feature on Beyond Black & White Kids.