Yep; That Happened. My Daughter Got Shaded Because She Is Black.

Sometimes we think that the whole interracial dating issue is something that younger people don’t really think about. I mean, all that baggage from decades ago has them twice removed, right?


Racism shows up in the most creative and unexpected ways–and this time, it came in the form of a Hispanic girl who couldn’t, for the life of her, understand why her ex-boyfriend could be in love with my black daughter.

Just to refresh everyone’s memory, this is my daughter.


I may be her mother, but there is absolutely no question that this girl is beautiful. Like…at all. Yet, the ex-girlfriend of my daughter’s (now) Brazilian and white boyfriend questioned why on earth he would date a black girl with “dreads.”

The entitlement of white, Hispanic and Asian women as ‘THE’ creme de la creme of the white man’s gaze is so out of control, and I have to admit, it’s infuriating. The propaganda that anyone of ANY race is better and more attractive to non-black men is so real.

When my daughter told me about what the girl said about her, I’ll admit I seethed. And then I asked to see what this little chick looked like. While attractive, my daughter’s beauty is unmatched. What is more, her boyfriend is crazy about her–truly.

I took the opportunity to explain to her that the standard of beauty has a tier…and black girls and women are often placed at the bottom, so when women of other races see us elevated, it makes them…uncomfortable. Even confused. I mean, if every commercial, ad, rap song, etc tells you you’re better than a black chick, then you might look at the particular coupling and think, “What’s wrong with him?”

I told her that this is a matter of ego on her part, and that the best revenge is to continue to have an amazing time with her boo, for as long as that may last.

Sucks that we haven’t moved beyond…well…black and white.

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