reader comments, black men, racist, opinions, criticism, race relations, misogyny , sexism, abuse, exploitation, mules, mammies, push back, pop culture,

Reader Letter: Black Woman Married to a Black Man Sees the Site for What It Is

I love it when people finally "get" it. The letter... I pop in on your site from time to time and my feelings about what you are trying to do have run the gamut. But your recent posts have made it clear to me that I misjudged your intent, and I wanted to say keep up the good work. Some … Read More...


Sirloins’ BB&W Babe Wednesday!! Curvy Version…

Ahem…..Some  ladies have curves and are not afraid to flaunt them! I also know some of us men like it that way. And that way……….. …..and most definitely this way. What is that old saying? The only thing a dog can do with a bone is bury it. (I’m putting in a personal note right […]


Love It! Couple I Interviewed for Loving Day 2014 Tied the Knot!!

I just love it when this happens, and it happens a lot. Last year, courtesy of online dating site,, I was able to attend the 2013 Loving Day flagship celebration in New York City. While I was there, I met a couple and did a video that has gone semi-viral. Well guess what? The […]

Eric Gardener, NYPD, New York Police Dept, Mayor DeBlasio, police brutality, black fathers, NYPD, violence, fatherless, marriage, family, children, urban america, social issues, community, news, social issues, justice, police brutality,

Gotta Say Something Because This is Inexcusable: Eric Gardner Didn’t Have to Die for 50 Cents.

Many of you know that I draw a hard line on black men in the community who abandon their children en masse and never even think of marrying the voluminous baby mamas they have peppered all over their blighted neighborhoods. So when I first read about, then saw the awful video of gentle-giant Eric Gardner […]

tomatoes, organic, food, health, gardening, veggies, DIY, make it at home, entertaining, weight loss, nutrition, urban gardening, lifestyle, economics, Roma tomatoes, Home Depot, affordable, cooking, dining, family, hobby, wellness,

Nutritious, Delicious, and Filling: How to Make Your Own Sun Dried Tomatoes

I’ve had mixed success with tomatoes this season. My heirloom tomatoes I grew from seed have produced “meh,”  (good but not prolific) but the two vines of organic, non-GMO roma tomatoes I bought from Home Depot as starter plants have taken off. These were supposed to be a determinate variety, meaning that they won’t keep […]


Have You Seen This Hunk? Nick Bateman Blows Up Facebook.

Take a look at this specimen of perfection… So who is he? He’s Nick Bateman. A model, actor, and wanna-be Ninja Turtle that has everyone on Facebook–both gay and straight–going completely bat shit. I just may have to leave my husband for this man. And according to this advertisement, he’s into Asian and Black chicks. […]

beauty tips, makeup, pink lipstick, fashion, style, Mineral Fusion, colors, Spring, inspiration, Chris tries it for you,

OMG Pink for Dark Girls…Yay Mineral Fusion!

I have about a half dozen pink lipsticks in my stash, so many that it took me a dog’s life to get to trying a Mineral Fusion shade that just about knocked my socks off. You are looking at me wearing, CHARMING, the pink shade of lipstick offered from Mineral Fusion. I achieved this look […]

network, support group, lifestyle, positive, wellness, social media, advocacy, groups, chatting, friendship, diversity, interests, quality of life, depression, isolation,

Feeling Lonely? Isolated? Use Social Media to Create Your “Circle of Support”

I recently got a note from a black woman married interracially, and it got me to thinking about how sometimes, interracial relationships can cause challenges in forming friendships. I have a question. My husband and I have no friends. Some black women won’t talk to me, they call me a sell out. Some white women […]

Essence, Black magazine, media, culture, class, race, stereotypes, Black Kang, dating options, self esteem, economics, messages, communication, marriage, value, bias, diversity in dating, misogynistic, racist, Idris Elba, skin magazine, Black interest magazines, sales, light skinned black women, Messence, Black Men Magazine,

The Unfair ‘Options’ Media Message: What Do These Two Magazine Covers Tell You?

As a former public relations executive, I can tell you without any doubt that the media sends us messages–messages that we expect, messages that reinforce, and messages that influence. So when I saw a magazine cover show up on my Facebook timeline, complete with a message from Kola Boof, I began to really try and […]

roman reigns, Man Candy Monday, dating, non black men, entertainment, sports, biracial, guy crush, hottie, sexy men, eye candy,

Man Candy Monday: Wrestling with the Remarkable that is Roman Reigns

Oh, you kids are so, so spoiled. I feed you Man Candy each and every Monday, yet you scream for more various and different kinds. It’s like your appetite can’t be squelched, nor your eyes filled with enough delectable treats. I was sent a special request for a Man Candy feature so since you know […]

willow smith, teen vogue, black girls, black beauty, fashion, industry, standards, international, young black women, entertainment, style,

Willow Smith Snags the Cover of Teen Vogue

Regardless of whether or not you agree with Will and Jada’s liberal parenting skills you can’t deny that Willow Smith is one awesome young Black woman. Freedom and protection during childhood can help to cultivate creativity, individuality and a strong sense of self. These things are what makes Willow unique and has also landed her […]

Business People Conversing on Train

SavageTango tells all: Getting his attention

SavageTango Let me say right off I’ve been down this road on numerous occasions. I’m no stranger to the issues you’ve raised and understand to a degree where you’re coming from. First things first, as a white dude I take the position that I will gladly listen and sympathize with what you have experienced and […]