Written by Penelope Farthing
Maybe you’ve seen it before. Someone is talking to you about a rough patch they are going through with their partner. It may be a minor thing (like he constantly leaves the seat up) or a knock down drag out thing (he cheated and got the other woman pregnant). Much like the scenario presented in the post I wrote about how “At least I got a man!” is not a clap back, you offer your two cents on the matter. And rather than listen to your words of wisdom, she hits you with…
“See, that’s why you’re single!” or “That’s why you’re alone!”
I’m classing this as a Pink Pill for College Girls blog because the sooner that women understand that their self worth is not intrinsically linked to their relationship status, the better off they will be.
People are throwing around “alone” like it’s something bad, when it’s really not.
What’s the point of having a man who only brings you grief, when you could curl up with a book or a YouTube video in the peace and quiet of your own home? There is something really satisfying in leaving something in one place before you go about your business, and coming home, and finding the thing in the same place you left it. Do you get points for being in an unhappy relationship, compared to being single? No, I didn’t think so.
Recent studies have shown that unmarried, childless women are the happiest subgroup in the population, and that they are likely to live longer. Being alone seems far superior to being in a terrible relationship causing premature wrinkles and who knows what else from undue stress. Perhaps people who use “alone” as an insult desire to be alone themselves, free of the stressors that come with marriage and children.
Don’t get me wrong, I love being married, but I also love my alone time, and so does my husband. We add value to each other’s lives and are happier and more successful together, than if we were both single.
There’s a subtle but important difference between being lonely and being alone. If “that’s why you’re lonely” was used as an insult, it would make a little more sense, but even then it’s not quite an insult either, since you can be married with a house full of kids and still feel lonely, despite not being alone.
So what if you happen to be single? If you are out here living your best life, earning top grades, making money, and securing your future, there’s not a damn thing wrong with being alone.
And if someone decides to lob “alone” as an insult, just let them know that your textbook gives you all the stimulation you need on those lonely nights.