work out, gear, health, yoga, accessories, style, fashion, inspiration, user picks, stress reduction, lifestyle, living,

Cool Tools To Help You Get Your Yoga On…

I know everyone has a preference, but I personally believe that yoga is the single most amazing, body changing, stress reducing, and weight loss practice you can do. It literally will change your outlook on life, plus give you killer legs and a bum you can bounce a penny off of. I like that yoga […]

KISS, rock band, throwback band, boy crushes, evil, music, albums, heavy metal, devil worship, black girls, teens,

TBT: KISS the Devil, Shame Your Parents…

I’m nearly still scared to admit how much the sheer sight of these men turned me on. I’d never seen anything like it, and haven’t yet seen similar since then. But I remember the day like it was yesterday. The news, the media, those respectable people that we all looked towards for guidance had been […]

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New Anti-Swirling Meme: “How Can You Oppose Racism And Be…

I’ve been seeing the following bit of stupid making its way around the web at an increased clip. The people who are desperate to guilt-trip black women (and make no mistake, this is almost always brought out to shame black women EXCLUSIVELY…) out of exercising their dating and marriage options will often pull this argument […]

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Writer Reads “Swirling,” and Is Overwhelmed with Tears.…

You won’t want to miss this. One of the most touching letters I’ve ever received. Ladies, don’t let anyone tell you that non-black men are not checking for you, won’t love you, cherish you, or try to understand you. Reading this letter will change anyone’s mind on that. Dear Christelyn,    You don’t know me […]

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SirLoin’s Babe Wednesday: Looking back on it…

She Walks in Beauty She walks in beauty, like the night Of cloudless climes and starry skies; And all that’s best of dark and bright Meet in her aspect and her eyes:   Thus mellowed to that tender light Which heaven to gaudy day denies.   One shade the more, one ray the less, Had […]

Valparaiso, Chile, black girl's guide to travel, overseas, education, travel, living abroad, international travel, Chile, women traveling, adventure, expat,

Guest Writer: A Black Girl’s Guide to Studying Abroad in…

Meet Tiana (left) and Angel (right)–two brown girls who met while studying abroad in Chile! ☺   Valparaíso, Chile, with its art-splashed buildings, sloped hills, and turn of the century –styled funiculars, is often called the “San Francisco of South America.” I had the pleasure of studying abroad there from February 2012 to July 2012, […]

black girls, violence towards black women, abuse, society, culture, rape culture, racism, media, stereotypes, technology, awareness,

Where Did 64,000 Black Women and Girls Go?…

A person doesn’t just disappear into thin air but you would think they do when you learn that 64,000 Black women and girls are currently missing in the United States. With nearly every cell phone having GPS, digital cameras and satellites everywhere, our digital footprint is being recorded as we speak and as we type […]

advice, Youtube, black men, culture, destructive behaviors, children, abandonment, warning, video, dating, single motherhood, pregnancy, fatherless children, casual sex, regrets, young women,

#NWNW: Don’t Look for the New Man to Clean Up the Mess.…

It’s very rare that I get questions that stir my emotions, frustrate me, and make me deeply sad. I just received such a letter from a very young woman, and while I’m not sure if this entry will make a difference in her situation, I hope that perhaps others will take this as a cautionary […]

MCM, Man Candy Monday, ethnic men, flirting, dating, marriage, entertainment, culture, race, Indian men, East Asian men, brown, tan, turban,

Man Candy Monday: Lustful Arabian Knights of Hot Indian Men…

Though I am very much receptive to all types of candy, I do favor a certain flavor when it comes to my favorite treats. Build me a man with dark eyes, thick hair and skin that turns bronze in the sun. Indeed, the mystery and enticement of Indian men can’t be denied.   Of course […]

recipes, cooking, gardening, ideas, entertaining, meals, healthy, food, nutrition, DIY, urban gardening, harvest, veggies, fruits, organic,

Quick! Help Me Create Some Meals with the Massive Harvest!…

Whew. Got back from the Tenth Annual BlogHer conference in San Jose feeling a bit nervous. I mean, I called everyday to say hello to the hubby and kids, and remind Clo Clo to water the plants. A lot. Because the heat was well into the 90’s, and since I’m growing in containers and raised […]

sex, intimacy, dating, mating, relationships, online dating, healthy communication, red flags, rules of dating, advice,

Intimacy Is Not Built Through Sex. Surprised?…

  A couple of months ago, I downloaded Tinder after hearing good things about it. And in one month’s time, I had four dates with three guys, pretty much the same amount as the last two or three years. I meet and talk to new guys every week. But now that I am back on […]

QOTW, advice, white friends, black friends, bias, race, culture, education, teaching moments,

QOTW: “Help! My White Friends Ask My Black Girlfriend Dumb…

How many us have felt like you’ve had to be the ambassador of all black people when you’re around people of other races? On guy wrote me, fed up that his friends keep putting his girlfriend in uncomfortable positions. I made this video while at the BlogHer 2014 conference in San Jose, and guess who I […]

ethnic men, families, influence, blended families, mixed marriage, biracial marriage, shame, family pressure, advice, warning, rejection,

Ladies, Be VERY Careful Dating Ethnic Men. Parents and Family Often…

I recently read an article on Your Tango called, “My Boyfriends Was Ashamed of Me Because I’m Black.” I’ll admit, the first thought the writer was talking about a white guy whom she dated and once introduced to family, was unceremoniously dumped. After all, this does happen. But surprisingly, I see this more often when […]

99 Reasons Wheat and Sugar are Your Problem.…

One night last week when I had the munchies I decided to try eating a bowl of cereal that I thought was gluten free (silly me; buckwheat is still wheat) with some of my husband’s almond milk (he opts for the sweetened kind). It was after 11, and I should have been sleepy. But about […]

TBT, Latino men, boy crush, entertainment, history, international, media, celebrities, music, Spanish guys, teen years, Robi Rosa, Ricky Martin, Charlie Masso, Puerto Rico,

TBT: Más, Mucho Más Menudo…..…

I heard about the fan fare involving Michael Jackson and dem during the early 80’s but I just wasn’t into him like that. The bad boy image and curly kit seemed a bit much too for me so I turned my eyes towards another type of brown boy crush. Since you know I’m greedy, I […]

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JQ Abroad Open Thread: Share Your Overseas Experiences!…

Hi ladies, it’s been a long time since I’ve written here and it got me thinking that it’s high time that we shared our overseas experiences. This is where the article involves your participation! I love reading positive articles of black women enjoying their space and time overseas. It creates further encouragement for other black […]

dating, relationships, date ideas, blended couples, courting, entertainment, culture,

Fabulous Date Ideas for Cool People…

The East Coast folks know that we’re on a tight deadline. These days you can’t quite tell when Summer springs or when Winter will Fall through, so it makes the most sense to get all early dating phase-ish things out the way while you can still can. I’m a resident of the state of New […]

reader comments, black men, racist, opinions, criticism, race relations, misogyny , sexism, abuse, exploitation, mules, mammies, push back, pop culture,

Reader Letter: Black Woman Married to a Black Man Sees the Site for…

I love it when people finally “get” it. The letter… I pop in on your site from time to time and my feelings about what you are trying to do have run the gamut. But your recent posts have made it clear to me that I misjudged your intent, and I wanted to say keep […]

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Love It! Couple I Interviewed for Loving Day 2014 Tied the Knot!!…

I just love it when this happens, and it happens a lot. Last year, courtesy of online dating site, DateWhoYouWant.com, I was able to attend the 2013 Loving Day flagship celebration in New York City. While I was there, I met a couple and did a video that has gone semi-viral. Well guess what? The […]

Eric Gardener, NYPD, New York Police Dept, Mayor DeBlasio, police brutality, black fathers, NYPD, violence, fatherless, marriage, family, children, urban america, social issues, community, news, social issues, justice, police brutality,

Gotta Say Something Because This is Inexcusable: Eric Gardner…

Many of you know that I draw a hard line on black men in the community who abandon their children en masse and never even think of marrying the voluminous baby mamas they have peppered all over their blighted neighborhoods. So when I first read about, then saw the awful video of gentle-giant Eric Gardner […]