Valparaiso, Chile, black girl's guide to travel, overseas, education, travel, living abroad, international travel, Chile, women traveling, adventure, expat,

Guest Writer: A Black Girl’s Guide to Studying Abroad in…

Meet Tiana (left) and Angel (right)–two brown girls who met while studying abroad in Chile! ☺   Valparaíso, Chile, with its art-splashed buildings, sloped hills, and turn of the century –styled funiculars, is often called the “San Francisco of South America.” I had the pleasure of studying abroad there from February 2012 to July 2012, […]

black girls, violence towards black women, abuse, society, culture, rape culture, racism, media, stereotypes, technology, awareness,

Where Did 64,000 Black Women and Girls Go?…

A person doesn’t just disappear into thin air but you would think they do when you learn that 64,000 Black women and girls are currently missing in the United States. With nearly every cell phone having GPS, digital cameras and satellites everywhere, our digital footprint is being recorded as we speak and as we type […]

advice, Youtube, black men, culture, destructive behaviors, children, abandonment, warning, video, dating, single motherhood, pregnancy, fatherless children, casual sex, regrets, young women,

#NWNW: Don’t Look for the New Man to Clean Up the Mess.…

It’s very rare that I get questions that stir my emotions, frustrate me, and make me deeply sad. I just received such a letter from a very young woman, and while I’m not sure if this entry will make a difference in her situation, I hope that perhaps others will take this as a cautionary […]

MCM, Man Candy Monday, ethnic men, flirting, dating, marriage, entertainment, culture, race, Indian men, East Asian men, brown, tan, turban,

Man Candy Monday: Lustful Arabian Knights of Hot Indian Men…

Though I am very much receptive to all types of candy, I do favor a certain flavor when it comes to my favorite treats. Build me a man with dark eyes, thick hair and skin that turns bronze in the sun. Indeed, the mystery and enticement of Indian men can’t be denied.   Of course […]

recipes, cooking, gardening, ideas, entertaining, meals, healthy, food, nutrition, DIY, urban gardening, harvest, veggies, fruits, organic,

Quick! Help Me Create Some Meals with the Massive Harvest!…

Whew. Got back from the Tenth Annual BlogHer conference in San Jose feeling a bit nervous. I mean, I called everyday to say hello to the hubby and kids, and remind Clo Clo to water the plants. A lot. Because the heat was well into the 90’s, and since I’m growing in containers and raised […]

sex, intimacy, dating, mating, relationships, online dating, healthy communication, red flags, rules of dating, advice,

Intimacy Is Not Built Through Sex. Surprised?…

  A couple of months ago, I downloaded Tinder after hearing good things about it. And in one month’s time, I had four dates with three guys, pretty much the same amount as the last two or three years. I meet and talk to new guys every week. But now that I am back on […]

QOTW, advice, white friends, black friends, bias, race, culture, education, teaching moments,

QOTW: “Help! My White Friends Ask My Black Girlfriend Dumb…

How many us have felt like you’ve had to be the ambassador of all black people when you’re around people of other races? On guy wrote me, fed up that his friends keep putting his girlfriend in uncomfortable positions. I made this video while at the BlogHer 2014 conference in San Jose, and guess who I […]

ethnic men, families, influence, blended families, mixed marriage, biracial marriage, shame, family pressure, advice, warning, rejection,

Ladies, Be VERY Careful Dating Ethnic Men. Parents and Family Often…

I recently read an article on Your Tango called, “My Boyfriends Was Ashamed of Me Because I’m Black.” I’ll admit, the first thought the writer was talking about a white guy whom she dated and once introduced to family, was unceremoniously dumped. After all, this does happen. But surprisingly, I see this more often when […]

99 Reasons Wheat and Sugar are Your Problem.…

One night last week when I had the munchies I decided to try eating a bowl of cereal that I thought was gluten free (silly me; buckwheat is still wheat) with some of my husband’s almond milk (he opts for the sweetened kind). It was after 11, and I should have been sleepy. But about […]

TBT, Latino men, boy crush, entertainment, history, international, media, celebrities, music, Spanish guys, teen years, Robi Rosa, Ricky Martin, Charlie Masso, Puerto Rico,

TBT: Más, Mucho Más Menudo…..…

I heard about the fan fare involving Michael Jackson and dem during the early 80’s but I just wasn’t into him like that. The bad boy image and curly kit seemed a bit much too for me so I turned my eyes towards another type of brown boy crush. Since you know I’m greedy, I […]

Leg and shoe on a suitcase

JQ Abroad Open Thread: Share Your Overseas Experiences!…

Hi ladies, it’s been a long time since I’ve written here and it got me thinking that it’s high time that we shared our overseas experiences. This is where the article involves your participation! I love reading positive articles of black women enjoying their space and time overseas. It creates further encouragement for other black […]

dating, relationships, date ideas, blended couples, courting, entertainment, culture,

Fabulous Date Ideas for Cool People…

The East Coast folks know that we’re on a tight deadline. These days you can’t quite tell when Summer springs or when Winter will Fall through, so it makes the most sense to get all early dating phase-ish things out the way while you can still can. I’m a resident of the state of New […]

reader comments, black men, racist, opinions, criticism, race relations, misogyny , sexism, abuse, exploitation, mules, mammies, push back, pop culture,

Reader Letter: Black Woman Married to a Black Man Sees the Site for…

I love it when people finally “get” it. The letter… I pop in on your site from time to time and my feelings about what you are trying to do have run the gamut. But your recent posts have made it clear to me that I misjudged your intent, and I wanted to say keep […]

10511572_10101417696052817_1659155650766154014_o

Love It! Couple I Interviewed for Loving Day 2014 Tied the Knot!!…

I just love it when this happens, and it happens a lot. Last year, courtesy of online dating site, DateWhoYouWant.com, I was able to attend the 2013 Loving Day flagship celebration in New York City. While I was there, I met a couple and did a video that has gone semi-viral. Well guess what? The […]

Eric Gardener, NYPD, New York Police Dept, Mayor DeBlasio, police brutality, black fathers, NYPD, violence, fatherless, marriage, family, children, urban america, social issues, community, news, social issues, justice, police brutality,

Gotta Say Something Because This is Inexcusable: Eric Gardner…

Many of you know that I draw a hard line on black men in the community who abandon their children en masse and never even think of marrying the voluminous baby mamas they have peppered all over their blighted neighborhoods. So when I first read about, then saw the awful video of gentle-giant Eric Gardner […]

tomatoes, organic, food, health, gardening, veggies, DIY, make it at home, entertaining, weight loss, nutrition, urban gardening, lifestyle, economics, Roma tomatoes, Home Depot, affordable, cooking, dining, family, hobby, wellness,

Nutritious, Delicious, and Filling: How to Make Your Own Sun Dried…

I’ve had mixed success with tomatoes this season. My heirloom tomatoes I grew from seed have produced “meh,”  (good but not prolific) but the two vines of organic, non-GMO roma tomatoes I bought from Home Depot as starter plants have taken off. These were supposed to be a determinate variety, meaning that they won’t keep […]

10541472_10152161177940373_1440269206583511593_n

Have You Seen This Hunk? Nick Bateman Blows Up Facebook.…

Take a look at this specimen of perfection… So who is he? He’s Nick Bateman. A model, actor, and wanna-be Ninja Turtle that has everyone on Facebook–both gay and straight–going completely bat shit. I just may have to leave my husband for this man. And according to this advertisement, he’s into Asian and Black chicks. […]

beauty tips, makeup, pink lipstick, fashion, style, Mineral Fusion, colors, Spring, inspiration, Chris tries it for you,

OMG Pink for Dark Girls…Yay Mineral Fusion!…

I have about a half dozen pink lipsticks in my stash, so many that it took me a dog’s life to get to trying a Mineral Fusion shade that just about knocked my socks off. You are looking at me wearing, CHARMING, the pink shade of lipstick offered from Mineral Fusion. I achieved this look […]

network, support group, lifestyle, positive, wellness, social media, advocacy, groups, chatting, friendship, diversity, interests, quality of life, depression, isolation,

Feeling Lonely? Isolated? Use Social Media to Create Your…

I recently got a note from a black woman married interracially, and it got me to thinking about how sometimes, interracial relationships can cause challenges in forming friendships. I have a question. My husband and I have no friends. Some black women won’t talk to me, they call me a sell out. Some white women […]

Essence, Black magazine, media, culture, class, race, stereotypes, Black Kang, dating options, self esteem, economics, messages, communication, marriage, value, bias, diversity in dating, misogynistic, racist, Idris Elba, skin magazine, Black interest magazines, sales, light skinned black women, Messence, Black Men Magazine,

The Unfair ‘Options’ Media Message: What Do These Two…

As a former public relations executive, I can tell you without any doubt that the media sends us messages–messages that we expect, messages that reinforce, and messages that influence. So when I saw a magazine cover show up on my Facebook timeline, complete with a message from Kola Boof, I began to really try and […]