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How to date, mate and relate. Mixing race, culture and creed.
Author Archive
Black Femininity: Who Decides What?
I maintain that black femininity is under attack. The question is asked, “Well, what is black femininity?” The answer as far as I’m concerned is femininity in a woman who is black. But of course that’s far too simplistic an answer for such a complex issue….or is it?
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“Macho” Little Black Girls: The Anti-Femininity War on Black Women
Note: For the purpose of this article, I’m dealing with a specifically observed issue that has nothing to do with “butch” lesbianism in black women or non-black women. What I’m talking about is not an outgrowth of self-identified sexuality, sexual expression, or a conscious decision by the individual to move away from gender norms and form their own identity. This post is on something ENTIRELY different.
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“It’s Cool If You Date White Men, But….”: Why is the GAT-DL Trying to Regulate Black Woman Who Date Interracially?
Pro-interracial websites has become the GAT-DL’s new favorite whipping toy. Various bloggers across the web cluck their tongues on how and which manner is acceptable for black women to swirl. Toni takes a serious look at what this new gaslighting tactic is all about.
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Why Can’t Some Black Women Put Their Interests Above Black Men?
The truth is “good” is subjective. “Good” is a word used so loosely, any black man with a pulse and a functioning penis may find himself on the right side of the word in the eyes of a black woman who doesn’t know any better.
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Attention: I Am Not A Slave And Neither Are You….
First and foremost, please spare me the conspiracy theories, the abstract philosophies, or anything that tries to put shackles around my arms and legs in the year 2012. I am an American. And last time I checked, the period in the United States where it was perfectly legal to own black women as slaves is over.
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African American Women in the Olympics: Doing Themselves and Their Country Proud
From an American standpoint, this marked the first time MORE women medaled at the Olympics than men. The ladies came, saw, and conquered in epic fashion. As for black women, there were some ladies making their mark on history in a big way. Here are the some most notable African American women who competed, but feel free give a shout out to anyone you feel should get some spotlight in the comments:
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GAT-DL Okey-Doke: Black Women “Breeding Out Blackness”?
When I see something mentioned repeatedly within a short period of time at different locations, it’s not within me to see it as merely a coincidence. Sometimes, some people really want to get a point (or a fear) across and they will flap their gums all over the place to make it happen. Right now, [...]
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Black Women, Love and Where They WON’T Find It (Part 2)
This is the follow-up post to my previous article on how little sense it made for black women to waste their time looking for love and acceptance from directions it was not forthcoming. At the end of the article, I asked why. Just why do so many black women handicap themselves in this regard and waste so much valuable time and valuable love? This part will discuss some possible theories and then I’d love to open the floor to the community members as to how black women can get around this irrational way of dealing with love.
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Black Women, Love and Where They WON’T Find It (Part 1)
Whether it’s bigots or men who are with you for reasons having nothing to do with love, “it doesn’t matter. You won’t get what you want and need from these people and you are wasting time and energy not drawing this conclusion and electing to move on to the alternative: Persons that DO love and support you.”
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The Hater’s Number: Odds Are, You Already Have It.
“I think what it is, plain and simple, is recognized lacking. Opposites attract, and negative energy is drawn to positive energy: These people will look at you and look to you because they see in you things that are lacking within themselves. They hate you not because of who you are, but because they can see what it is they are missing from their own lives, manifested as a blessing or as good fortune in someone else.”
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A Comprehensive Newcomer’s Guide to BB&W, BWE, Etc. Words and Phrases
This post was created to shed some light on the different words and phrases that you see used around here with a great deal of frequency by regulars. If you are new to this blog or various BW-centric/BWE spaces, you’ve probably wondered at least once, “What the heck does GAT-DL mean?!” Well, wonder no more! [...]
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A Necessary Understanding: Strength Is NOT Rationalizing Abusive Behaviors
I don’t like repeating myself if I don’t have to, but in some things, repetition becomes absolutely necessary.
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Black Women: Yes, You Are Liked….Yes, You Are LOVED.
If there are men of other ethnic groups you are attracted to, understand that just as you are not a monolithic black woman they are not monolithic either. Just as you desire to be loved, so do these men.
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The “Black” box or the “Woman” Box: Where to jump?
You see, there are persons who consciously or unconsciously look at me and decide I have to choose a box to jump into: BLACK or WOMAN. Surprisingly, it is too much for some people to comprehend that I can be both at the same time.
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Definitely not your mama’s relationship book…
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