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101 comments
LaKayla98
LaKayla98

Hey I have a question, OK so recently I've had a lot of men contacting me from 14 to 18+ one that caught my eye he's 20 but lives in Texas I'm in Kansas what's your opinion on long distance relationships and do you think there is an age limit please help me out with your opinion I'm 17 I'm an ♈ Aries

SweetGardenia
SweetGardenia

You need to be very careful since you're so young because you are still attractive to predators. These guys may not be who they are representing themselves to be. Thoroughly check then out and I do not mean letting them send you pictures that confirm who they are. I had a scammer offer to send me a picture of his house, and office building. He even had a fake Facebook page set up for his business which was fish tank design. It was all fake. It was an elaborate setup that had me fooled for several days.

LaKayla98
LaKayla98

Well we've skyped several times and its kinda hard to fake video chatting live

LaKayla98
LaKayla98

That's a always I watch the show catfish and I have trust issues 😂😂💯

Lisa_Lisa
Lisa_Lisa

Hi Christelyn


I really want to share a blog  post that I wrote about breast augmentation with the larger beyond black and white community. I'd love for it to be featured on beyond black and white.

DonnaKaren
DonnaKaren

Hello Christelyn,


I have been reading your forums and watching your videos thru the nite.  I have been trying to join your site but it keeps kicking me out.  I will continue to try I understand you are still trying to work the kinks out.  My question is has anyone started swirling meetup groups in any city?  If not how would one go about starting one?  I would very much like to connect with women like me or maybe looking to take the road I did seventeen years ago.   I guess I should tell a little about myself.  My name is Donna I am 46yrs old and I have been married to a white guy for 17yrs.  I have no children as yet but I know soon God is going to bless us.  It would be nice to connect with other women who understand the ups and downs of marrying interacially.  I have tried many times to explain to my white girls friends or my black girl friends but they never can identify with the unique situations that you go through.  So I was wondering has anyone started swirling meetup groups?  Oh yeah Im not on Facebook, Instagram or any social networking site except for Youtube.  My husband is prior military/prepper and he is so distrustful of the government and their capabilities.  I know when I say I have a unique situation I'm not lying.  Also if I wanted to write you a letter where do I send it to?


Donna

SweetGardenia
SweetGardenia

@DonnaKaren  Hey Donna, welcome!  Not married to a WM, but currently dating one!! Best decision for my life, ever!!

Brenda55
Brenda55 moderator

@DonnaKaren

Welcome to our little slice of heaven. High five to hubby.  My mate and I are also preppers so I can relate. We are having our first Meet-up in Vegas in two weeks.  One of our community members is getting married so some of us are attending to wish hm and his new bride well.


All I can say is to join in here, participate.  Once the bugs are worked out on the forum you can post there.  Some of us do communicate off site so that may be an option for you.

DonnaKaren
DonnaKaren

@SweetGardenia @DonnaKaren Hello my husband thru the ups and downs good times and bad in or out of the money he is my life partner we are definitely heading for the rocking chair.  Without a doubt.  Our decision to be together has not been easy by no means.  It would have been a tremendous help to have a community, guide book, training or mentorship like this site to whether the rigors of interracial marriage.  I grew up in Houston and he grew up in Pittsburgh we were both in the military.  I completely realized when we moved to Phoenix for his work that black people are less than 13% of the population and shrinking.  It has been the loneliest place I ever lived as far making close binding ties with black or white women.  Thank Jesus 1000 times over I found this website.  Can you exist just you and your husband.... Yes but having a community of liked minded people makes the road a little less bumpy.  I am just grateful and thankful to Ms. Christelyn for writing the book, the site, the forum everything.  I have been waiting what seems like a life to fully connect with other women.  My mother is gone and my sister and I well we don't get along.  So this site is a tall tall drink of ice cold water for someone who has been in the desert in more ways than one.  I will post a pic of my and "may bear" and me once I find a good pic.

Brenda55
Brenda55 moderator

@DonnaKaren @SweetGardenia

Hope you stick around.  We have another couple that I know if who met each other while in the Navy.  They have been married 25 years.  If you like I can forward your post to her so that she can communicate with you.  Not sure she is seeing these posts in the Contact tab.

DonnaKaren
DonnaKaren

@Brenda55 @DonnaKaren Thank Ms Brendan Im very excited to finally find the book the site the whole kit an kaboodle.   I would love to come for sure to Las Vegas is right up the road from me but I won't be able to make it.  Yes girl prepping is the order of the day for my husband.  Guns ammo food field equipment.  This man gave me on my B-day a pistol!!! I'm just like really!!! I always say is there anyone anyone out there doing this.  It would be nice to know someone female that gets it.  Now I do.  Nice to meet you.  Hopefully when I learn more about the site, the forum etc.  I would love to start up a meet up group.  Support makes all the difference. We had it years ago in the military but since we have be out nothing.  I will post a pic soon.  I look forward to getting to know everyone.

Brenda55
Brenda55 moderator

@DonnaKaren @Brenda55

It is nice to find another BW prepper.  I really only had my younger sister...also IRR married who is into this lifestyle so we chat. Not many of us out there and that is a shame. 

DonnaKaren
DonnaKaren

@Brenda55 @DonnaKaren @SweetGardenia I almost didn't see the post because this is my don't want the government to know email.  I know its funny girl.. but this is my unique situation.  But I got it Thank Jesus!!!

DonnaKaren
DonnaKaren

@Brenda55 @DonnaKaren So is there a create an account button that I am missing?  How do I pay for the membership.  I was waiting for the create icon yesterday because I did sign up but Im not sure it took because the site didn't recognize me when I went to log in.  I would love to share my story but this doesn't seem like the safest place.

DonnaKaren
DonnaKaren

@Brenda55 @DonnaKaren So I finally subscribed and registered.  Geez Louise that was a little bit of a circus not your website but pay pal.  So I will navigate from here. I never joined a forum so it will be a learning experience for sure.  Oh yeah on Youtube my alias is Truth IsPower.

Karla
Karla

@DonnaKaren @Brenda55  Hi, there.  I am one-half of the retired Navy couple Brenda told you about.  My name is Karla and my husband is Don.  We were both in the Navy for 22 years and retired.  We currently live in Virginia.  If you'd like to chat, please feel free to respond.  My husband and I have been married for 22 years, together for 25.  The military presented some huge challenges for us.  Luckily, we live in a semi-military intensive town so there are many interracial couples here.  

DonnaKaren
DonnaKaren

@Karla @DonnaKaren @Brenda55 Hello Karla sorry for the late reply been having some computer issues.  Everything electronic wants to start malfunctioning at the same time.  My husband and I where in the Army me for 10yrs and Larry was in for eight.  We moved to Phoenix for his work.  Up until last year I was apprehensive about the VA especially in Phoenix with service members dying waiting for care.  But I finally went down register for school in the fall.  We have touched base with the local legion to see if we can establish more of a community.  We have been married 17yrs. I was born in Houston and he was born in Pittsburgh.  We came across "Make the Connection" a youtube channel interviewing service memebers from the Vietnam era to present about the various issues they face since end of tour.  It is a pretty eye opening channel.  The one thing that they all talked about is the loss of the cohesion and the camaraderie.  It is a hard thing to replace, restablish or duplicate.  So we thought we would try the local legion post.  I always think an older crowd riding Harleys but hey we will see things may have changed.  People do not connect anymore not on any sort of deep level. Thank you social media.  So hopefully we can get plugged in with people that are like minded.

DrWeirwolf
DrWeirwolf

Hello

I just came across your site and was very intrigued. If you ever have time, you might also check out Love Crosses Boarders on Facebook . 

It would be awesome  I  think if you Lori from LOS could collaborate.  I find it funny that 2 women with such similar personalities  and stories  exist. She's  based in Germany  


Love the faux  hawke, going to wash my hair and try it.


Tweets

flywithjohn
flywithjohn

Why are my posts being set to moderator preview now?

Blackbeauty101
Blackbeauty101

Hi Christelyn,


You are such an inspiration to myself and I'm sure a lot of other black women out there. Please keep up the great work.


I would like your advice on an issue that I'm wrestling with. I've met a European man online on a language exchange site. He's 45 years old, never married and has no kids.  He says he's a computer engineer, but the problem is he seems to be very socially awkward. We've talk every week via Skype for the past 6 months, with the conversation lasting more than three hours at a time, but I've yet to see what he looks like. He tells me that he feels great when he talks to me and one time I was unavailable and he says he hopes he'll be able to survive not speaking with me that week. He's sent me pictures of his mom, but none of himself.


He's always on time for our conversation and is always very respectful, but I'm afraid I'm wasting my time.  I'm ready to tell him that I can no longer be friends with him. BTW I'm 39 years old, divorced with one teenaged child.


I look forward to your valuable insight.


Regards,

Julie

JackPA
JackPA

Would it be possible to do something on inter-generational

interracial relationships ?

I am a 62 year old white gentleman and would like some input on what age range I should in a black woman.

Thank you all 😎

cns
cns

Hi all,

Off topic:

Here’s and interesting “Black Love Story “gone wrong. I don’t know if you keep up with social life’s of reality TV personalities but Kenya Moore (RHOA) was recently set up with an IBM/Unicorn James Freeman (check out his Linkedln Profile) on Millionaire Matchmaker. He seemed like a stand up kind of guy.I didn’t pick up on anything shady about him. They dated for a few months but it was revealed that this handsome Black Princeton graduate and Real Estate mogul married his White girlfriend about a week after meeting Kenya.According to social media they continued to date for months after. Could this be a reality show plot line or just a typical dating scenario for Black women who still insist on only dating Black men? Either way if this is not a good enough reason to consider IR dating interracially then I don’t know what Black women need to get a clue. It’s a bad look for both Black men and Black women.

Brenda55
Brenda55 moderator

10 minutes ago

Ok, I know going off the topic for a second. Hello I'm valery very new to your blog love you by the way! I have a question how do i find the best online dating websites? I joined a couple of them and for some reason I keep getting the scam artist claiming their in love in less than 12 hours and they always have a big emergency begging for money not that I would ever send money to anyone I'm a single mother and I'm a bit frugal about my hard earned money.

So can I please get some advice on Wich online sites I could join and stick to that one. I'm already paying for 3 of them match is one of them and it's not working for me at all even though I clearly state what I'm interested in, and for some odd reason i always get hit on by the big black African. I've never dated anyone of color even tho I'm Haitian.

ladyvee 83
ladyvee 83

You are my inspiration christelyn. I love what you do for us black women that love our other nations. I'm Haitian born raised in the great United States my family still find it weird that I've never dated anyone from my race or is of colored, i just tell them I like what I like and love who i love.

Brenda55
Brenda55 moderator

@kayklein

You are not ready to date interracially.  Don't waste your time or any that of any white guy who may be interested in you. 

BWC
BWC

@kayklein 


Do you feel like you can trust black guys?

ladyvee 83
ladyvee 83

No, I can't trust any black males including my father.

BWC
BWC

Then just read the advice from the ladies here to always vet for character. Learn from the experiences of both BW and WM here and most of all, take your time. You are young and have a long life ahead of you, school, work, hobbies, etc... Enjoy!

BWC
BWC

That is sad. Both J and I were fortunate enough to have good fathers. From what I have read here, online dating hasn't worked out for most here, especially younger. They recommend finding local group meet ups, gatherings that carry your interests, hobbies, museums, etc.

Hope this helps!

KarissaB
KarissaB

I know this isn't my question but I definitely could not trust a black guy. Getting into a relationship means you would have to trust a man with your body, mind, money, spirit, and so on. Black guys have proven that they are horrible keepers of these qualities for black women.

KarissaB
KarissaB

Dear Christelyn, 


You and all that you do has helped me as a growing black lady. I struggle with many issues involving my self-worth and self- esteem. I have really low self-esteem, I've considered even suicide at one point. I've had negative childhood experiences coming from my own family members involving my skin tone and hair type. Since my family is from the deep country of Louisiana, you could only imagine having to deal with all the colorist issues that were brought to me. I didn't really realize the negative things I heard affected me until I was older. Hearing the old "they don't want her, she's darkskinned" or the "my hair is soft and curly" bit was very overwhelming. Now I just find it hard to deal with black people, and especially black males when it comes to relationships. I feel as if they dont want me or if they do, they'll leave me for a lightskinned girl with silky hair. This has made me not pursue any relations with black men at all. My parents dont fully understand how I feel, but im glad that you do. Wish you the best!!

KarissaB
KarissaB

I'm 18 and finishing my freshman year at Howard university. @Brenda55

KarissaB
KarissaB

It's going well, I'm doing well. Oh yeah that's cool, DC is very different from Atlanta.

Brenda55
Brenda55 moderator

@KarissaB

How is it going?  I am very familiar with the DC area. I graduated from GWU.

Helena5
Helena5

Hi Christelyn,


I really enjoy your website, videos and publications.  I am curious however...  I see that your site is dedicated mainly to black women and white men relationships.  I completely support your efforts, but do you ever feature black women with other ethnic men, such as Indian, Korean, Middle Eastern, etc?  And have you ever thought about dating advice for these groups?  I apologize if your page may only be focused on the black woman and white men, I just thought that I would inquire...


Regards,


Helena

Brenda55
Brenda55 moderator

@Helena5

Hello, this is Brenda55.

Yes, we do indeed cover black women with other races of men and not just white men. If you look through our archives you will see several articles that we have run in the past.

unemployedfatty
unemployedfatty

Hi Christelyn, 


I have a quick question. Have you considered adding a tumblr page to your list of social media sites? I feel like you could reach a lot of women that way and especially a lot of young women. I know I use facebook, but only sparingly. I would love to see you on Tumblr telling the truth :)

Maragirl
Maragirl

Hi Christelyn,

I love some of the subjects brought up on BBW. I rarely see these topics covered on other sites. I kinda thought that some of the women on here were being a tad bit dramatic about how BM really feel about BW, but lately I have been seeing so many videos where BW are debased for dating outside of their race. This is shocking because I am now seeing these videos everywhere. This is so sad. The latest one was on a friends face book by a entertainer named  DeLorean. No clue who made the video, but basically it is saying that black women only act nice when they are in interracial relationships. It was so insulting! So I say to Mrs. Karazin keep up the good work.

P.S. I wish i knew how to post the video here but I must say it was ugly how it basically said bw  will only be submissive to white men, and be raging crazy's to BM.

Hans W
Hans W

Hi Christelyn

I read your story! And for me as a European (Danish) it is difficult to understand why it is such a big issue being married to a black woman!

Not that we don’t have racism here too- but not particularly against color. Here it is more important to respect the country you live in?

In my view is a woman a woman no matter color. So for us here in Denmark it is difficult to understand why you in the US are keeping on with holding on to something that happened a long time ago.

But I guess that when it comes to women I am colorblind!

Take Care.

Hans

hwhhansen@gmail.com

lorelei84
lorelei84

Hi, Christelyn:

I know this subject has been addressed - several times - but I had an interesting experience on an interracial dating site this morning that precipitated this email. Let me reiterate: INTERRACIAL dating site!!! Received a message from a man in his mid 60s...no profile picture. I opened the message and discovered the man is  black and his profile full of "I don't like...", "Do not contact me if..." crap. First of all, my info specifies that I am interested in white males - exclusively. Second, after he saw that I'd looked at his profile, he sent a second email insisting I read his profile and check out his pix at the bottom...and that he was "interested in intelligent women only" and "you sound intelligent AND you're beautiful". Dude. Yes, your profile says you have a Graduate degree. Big whoop. I AM intelligent...I AM beautiful...and I choose to date INTERRACIALLY because, well...because I can! You are not my only option and your bossiness and insistence that I view your profile proves to me that you're a blustery old fool who's looking for a doormat. PASS. Christelyn: seriously...what's up with these men??? 

lorelei84
lorelei84

editing time expired...So. It seems as if every time I check my messages/flirts and profile views on this website, there are a plethora of black males taking up my communication space! They inbox me incessantly...despite my silence. I can't tell you how many of these men write - and I quote - "You don't need to look any further. I've got what you need". WTF? Well dang: hold on there, Cowboy while I take off my panties and wait for you on the bed! Sigh. Old news. Beautiful, intelligent black women are such a threat to these men...they cannot stand to see us expand our horizons and look for other options. Again: old news....