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74 comments
cns
cns

Hi all,

Off topic:

Here’s and interesting “Black Love Story “gone wrong. I don’t know if you keep up with social life’s of reality TV personalities but Kenya Moore (RHOA) was recently set up with an IBM/Unicorn James Freeman (check out his Linkedln Profile) on Millionaire Matchmaker. He seemed like a stand up kind of guy.I didn’t pick up on anything shady about him. They dated for a few months but it was revealed that this handsome Black Princeton graduate and Real Estate mogul married his White girlfriend about a week after meeting Kenya.According to social media they continued to date for months after. Could this be a reality show plot line or just a typical dating scenario for Black women who still insist on only dating Black men? Either way if this is not a good enough reason to consider IR dating interracially then I don’t know what Black women need to get a clue. It’s a bad look for both Black men and Black women.

Brenda55
Brenda55 moderator

10 minutes ago

Ok, I know going off the topic for a second. Hello I'm valery very new to your blog love you by the way! I have a question how do i find the best online dating websites? I joined a couple of them and for some reason I keep getting the scam artist claiming their in love in less than 12 hours and they always have a big emergency begging for money not that I would ever send money to anyone I'm a single mother and I'm a bit frugal about my hard earned money.

So can I please get some advice on Wich online sites I could join and stick to that one. I'm already paying for 3 of them match is one of them and it's not working for me at all even though I clearly state what I'm interested in, and for some odd reason i always get hit on by the big black African. I've never dated anyone of color even tho I'm Haitian.

ladyvee 83
ladyvee 83

You are my inspiration christelyn. I love what you do for us black women that love our other nations. I'm Haitian born raised in the great United States my family still find it weird that I've never dated anyone from my race or is of colored, i just tell them I like what I like and love who i love.

Brenda55
Brenda55 moderator

@kayklein

You are not ready to date interracially.  Don't waste your time or any that of any white guy who may be interested in you. 

BWC
BWC

@kayklein 


Do you feel like you can trust black guys?

ladyvee 83
ladyvee 83

No, I can't trust any black males including my father.

BWC
BWC

Then just read the advice from the ladies here to always vet for character. Learn from the experiences of both BW and WM here and most of all, take your time. You are young and have a long life ahead of you, school, work, hobbies, etc... Enjoy!

BWC
BWC

That is sad. Both J and I were fortunate enough to have good fathers. From what I have read here, online dating hasn't worked out for most here, especially younger. They recommend finding local group meet ups, gatherings that carry your interests, hobbies, museums, etc.

Hope this helps!

KarissaB
KarissaB

I know this isn't my question but I definitely could not trust a black guy. Getting into a relationship means you would have to trust a man with your body, mind, money, spirit, and so on. Black guys have proven that they are horrible keepers of these qualities for black women.

KarissaB
KarissaB

Dear Christelyn, 


You and all that you do has helped me as a growing black lady. I struggle with many issues involving my self-worth and self- esteem. I have really low self-esteem, I've considered even suicide at one point. I've had negative childhood experiences coming from my own family members involving my skin tone and hair type. Since my family is from the deep country of Louisiana, you could only imagine having to deal with all the colorist issues that were brought to me. I didn't really realize the negative things I heard affected me until I was older. Hearing the old "they don't want her, she's darkskinned" or the "my hair is soft and curly" bit was very overwhelming. Now I just find it hard to deal with black people, and especially black males when it comes to relationships. I feel as if they dont want me or if they do, they'll leave me for a lightskinned girl with silky hair. This has made me not pursue any relations with black men at all. My parents dont fully understand how I feel, but im glad that you do. Wish you the best!!

KarissaB
KarissaB

I'm 18 and finishing my freshman year at Howard university. @Brenda55

KarissaB
KarissaB

It's going well, I'm doing well. Oh yeah that's cool, DC is very different from Atlanta.

Brenda55
Brenda55 moderator

@KarissaB

How is it going?  I am very familiar with the DC area. I graduated from GWU.

Helena5
Helena5

Hi Christelyn,


I really enjoy your website, videos and publications.  I am curious however...  I see that your site is dedicated mainly to black women and white men relationships.  I completely support your efforts, but do you ever feature black women with other ethnic men, such as Indian, Korean, Middle Eastern, etc?  And have you ever thought about dating advice for these groups?  I apologize if your page may only be focused on the black woman and white men, I just thought that I would inquire...


Regards,


Helena

Brenda55
Brenda55 moderator

@Helena5

Hello, this is Brenda55.

Yes, we do indeed cover black women with other races of men and not just white men. If you look through our archives you will see several articles that we have run in the past.

unemployedfatty
unemployedfatty

Hi Christelyn, 


I have a quick question. Have you considered adding a tumblr page to your list of social media sites? I feel like you could reach a lot of women that way and especially a lot of young women. I know I use facebook, but only sparingly. I would love to see you on Tumblr telling the truth :)

Maragirl
Maragirl

Hi Christelyn,

I love some of the subjects brought up on BBW. I rarely see these topics covered on other sites. I kinda thought that some of the women on here were being a tad bit dramatic about how BM really feel about BW, but lately I have been seeing so many videos where BW are debased for dating outside of their race. This is shocking because I am now seeing these videos everywhere. This is so sad. The latest one was on a friends face book by a entertainer named  DeLorean. No clue who made the video, but basically it is saying that black women only act nice when they are in interracial relationships. It was so insulting! So I say to Mrs. Karazin keep up the good work.

P.S. I wish i knew how to post the video here but I must say it was ugly how it basically said bw  will only be submissive to white men, and be raging crazy's to BM.

Hans W
Hans W

Hi Christelyn

I read your story! And for me as a European (Danish) it is difficult to understand why it is such a big issue being married to a black woman!

Not that we don’t have racism here too- but not particularly against color. Here it is more important to respect the country you live in?

In my view is a woman a woman no matter color. So for us here in Denmark it is difficult to understand why you in the US are keeping on with holding on to something that happened a long time ago.

But I guess that when it comes to women I am colorblind!

Take Care.

Hans

hwhhansen@gmail.com

lorelei84
lorelei84

Hi, Christelyn:

I know this subject has been addressed - several times - but I had an interesting experience on an interracial dating site this morning that precipitated this email. Let me reiterate: INTERRACIAL dating site!!! Received a message from a man in his mid 60s...no profile picture. I opened the message and discovered the man is  black and his profile full of "I don't like...", "Do not contact me if..." crap. First of all, my info specifies that I am interested in white males - exclusively. Second, after he saw that I'd looked at his profile, he sent a second email insisting I read his profile and check out his pix at the bottom...and that he was "interested in intelligent women only" and "you sound intelligent AND you're beautiful". Dude. Yes, your profile says you have a Graduate degree. Big whoop. I AM intelligent...I AM beautiful...and I choose to date INTERRACIALLY because, well...because I can! You are not my only option and your bossiness and insistence that I view your profile proves to me that you're a blustery old fool who's looking for a doormat. PASS. Christelyn: seriously...what's up with these men??? 

lorelei84
lorelei84

editing time expired...So. It seems as if every time I check my messages/flirts and profile views on this website, there are a plethora of black males taking up my communication space! They inbox me incessantly...despite my silence. I can't tell you how many of these men write - and I quote - "You don't need to look any further. I've got what you need". WTF? Well dang: hold on there, Cowboy while I take off my panties and wait for you on the bed! Sigh. Old news. Beautiful, intelligent black women are such a threat to these men...they cannot stand to see us expand our horizons and look for other options. Again: old news....

bernardethg
bernardethg

Hi Christelyn,

 

Before I start let me say that this not hate mail! J

Anyway, I will start first by introducing myself and then I will make an observation with regards to the black male.

My name is Bernardeth (you actually read it Bernadette spelling error or something on the birth certificate), I live in Luanda, Angola (in Africa because I hear in the US there is also an area called Angola), I am lawyer by profession, a University Lecturer, and also work for the Ministry of Finance in my country, and you can see notice I am very educated and independent. :)

I have always being attracted to white guys since I started dating, especially during my teen year, but on my side of the world it a frown upon to date a white guys and I used to think that something was wrong with me to feel this way and I must conform and except the black male the way there, because to date a white guy it meant I was going to be treated badly and disrespected, so it was rarely done.

I am writing to share my experience about the black male, which to my shock even though he lives in a developed nation, it still remains the same.

Before I started following your blog, I used to think that an African black male was different from the other black man on other parts of the world, because their cheat, too many wives and girlfriends, have too many kids out of wedlock and think that they are entitled to everything and black woman must be grateful he choose her to be with, therefore, bow down to his greatness!! Because like the elder females in the family will say “in the house the Man is the boss".

I am quite sad to hear that the black male doesn't change, even though most of them have never being to Africa and leave in better conditions that their African counterpart, the way they behave is similar, the way they treat black woman is same, how if you date outside your race, you are seeing as jumping the fence, traitor, can't get a black man that is why you dating a white man.

And I see how the men in my family treat they women and they accepted as normal, it just horrible I tell you! Since following you blog I decided that I deserve more, I deserve more respect, love, caring.

I just wanted to say THANK YOU for opening my eyes to the disrespect, degrading of the black male!! And that is not "evil" to date outside my race, I have learned so much from reading you blog and I just wish sometimes that more black woman open they eyes like I did and be strong to say ENOUGH!!!


Rjdmmfl1
Rjdmmfl1

Greetings ladies!

I must say, I didn't realize my email would cause a commotion. Let me start by saying my email to Christelyn was based off of a post on facebook. I didn't research the website that it came from, I simply responded to the editor. It was not an email directed at you all, as I didn't realize the source, so , I apologize for that misconception. For the most part, I understand and agree with everything that you all say on this site... My brothers are messed up. Black men denigrate black women and exalt other women. It's in our talk, music, and daily life. Contrary to what has been said, I actually am a defender of BOTH the worth of black women, and the right of everyone to date whomever they are attracted to. I can only say that, I understand both the purpose of this site and why you all feel the way you do. I have a daughter, and in no way am I going to force her to date black men. She can date whomever she wants, as long as he treats her like the queen I am raising her to be. But again, I can only say, I'm sorry

... I'm sorry for the experiences that you all have had in the past,

... I'm sorry that my brothers aren't the men that their mother's wanted them to be

... I'm sorry if my letter appeared condescending, it wasn't meant to be, but just as you all say I should presch to my brothers (which I do), I was simply attempting to defend my brothers that do the right thing, that treat black women with the respect that they deserve ... Yes, we're few and far between... And I'm sorry for that, too!

Peace and blessings to you all!

Allandise Rashire
Allandise Rashire

Hello Christelyn,

I have been quietly following this site and the BBW fan page via facebook for a cuple if months now (love what you are doing for black women all across the board). I'm writing you today because I bumped into one of the most disturbing videos I have seen on YouTube in quite some time. Aside from browsing YT for videos to promote the stabilization of my mind, body, and soul, I try to stay away from that website. It is a cesspool filled with psychopathic trolls, mammies, DBR BM and so on.

While cruising facebook, I came across perhaps the most disgusting video I have seen in a very long time. A crazed black man, who has wrongfully deemed himself a "revolutionary," is advocating the rape of black girls and women all over the US , for these faux crusaders need to "reclaim" us from the white man, who has total control over the black race. Some people consider his message to be allegorical, read between the lines they say, but I highly doubt that his disturbing message is to be taking figuratively.

Before someone accuse me of being a full-blown angry "swirler" who has it out for poor, down trodden black men, I'm among the crowd of women who would give a black guy a chance, only if he fit the qualities that I look for in a man. However; after watching the video below, my mindset is beginning to reshape itself. You see, I'm a young woman and have been dating interracially for a couple of years. I often shy away from non-black guys due to my own hang-ups, which I'm presently working on. For years. my friends and family member have been saying I may not marry intraracially. That's odd because bm has been my main preference until now. Anyway, I just wanted to bring this video to your attention. Please expose it to other black women and shine a light on a serious topic that is regularly swept under a rug by the bc out of fear that it further tarnishes black men image, how pathetic.

video link here: http://youtu.be/4iG_-e-nn

guyana6
guyana6

Hi I am new to Beyond Black and White, first I wanted to thank you for creating this forum for those of us to express our preferences.  At 30 (now 35), I finally accepted that my preference are and have always been Asian and White men, but spent years trying to fit in by making black men my preference, failing miserably, hopefully its not too late.  I have moved to new city and have been trying to get out there, are there any meetup groups in Seattle?

MoniqueGadson
MoniqueGadson

My name is Tanya, and I have a question about the Beyond Black and White Google+ page. I've joined and "Liked" everything else BB&W, and have sent a request to join but never got a response. Am I not welcomed? I feel like I'm missing out because I'm trying to take full advantage of Chris' wonderful movement for us black women. Is there something that I'm missing?

SherriWilliamsFurch
SherriWilliamsFurch

Hi Christelyn,


My name is Sherri and I'm from the Northwest, Oregon to be exact and i happened upon one of your videos on you tube and was instantly impressed by you and your blog.I was so impressed that i had to write you and im doing this in the middle of the night from all places Qoya Peru!  I am a fan and i hope that with your help that i too will find love and the right guy for me. I have dated other races before so this is not new to me. I really  like your articles on older dating because they do give insight. I'm a young professional in healthcare and educated so you can imagine that sometimes its very hard to date because , i feel im expected to be a certain type of women. At my age i am comfortable with me and who i am.  Thanks for listening



                                                                                                                              Sherri


P.S. 


One of your videos you talked about the man that was of Asian and Caucasian descend. What happened to him? And you where right on with the if you cant be nice don't say a damn thing too. Kiddos to you.




savichadha525
savichadha525

Hi Christelyn,

Love your site.  I live in Chicago, and the city, by it's simple large population and strongly Democratic politics, is very open to interracial couples.  So, I'd venture to add that one.  I'm also surprised that Boston made the list (I've heard some stories about the racism in Boston), and also that Washington DC is not on the list (I've heard people see lots of interracial couples there).  


Jacquelyn Bonniwell
Jacquelyn Bonniwell

Hi Christelyn,

I'm know to your site, I've been married to my husband for 19 years, we are a interracial couple met in Columbus Ohio up at Ohio State 

we married in Ohio. Love your web  site, we live in Houston, Texas, Paul is a engineer, I'm a home maker, anyway, just wondered if you ever hear of the website 17percent, it is a interracial website also. Keep up the good work, I really enjoy your website.


Sincerely:


Jacquelyn Bonniwell

DerekHandzonClarke
DerekHandzonClarke

Peace Queen - Christelyn,

After watching "The Huff Post" debate with Marc Lamont while everyone is watching the superbowl, I was totally moved to find your sight and try to contact you. I am tired myself that my Queen especially of Dark Skin is not honored properly. In short, I am a producer/artist and created a song to heal that ignorance in t our community through music. As the saying goes, "it soothes the savage (acting) beast!" AS HER KING, HER BROTHER, I only know and saw My Duty to take a stand my way. Please take a listen and know there are Brothers out here that more than Affirm your beauty and want you to know. 


The song actually features inserts from Lupita Nyango's Black Essence Acceptance Speech. Heres the link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=id4N5VrYWtQ


Would love to hear from you as my work, movement and efforts to communicate with our people will need the support of the like minded. 


Respectfully,

Derek "Hanadzon" Clarke

scilibragirl85
scilibragirl85

Hey Christelyn, my name is Sharita and I became an instant fan of yours when I checked out a few of your videos. It made me feel a lot better seeing that there are other Black females out there like myself that prefer White men over Black men. I'm glad you have a blog that trancends over racial hurdles. And for the haters out there,they know where they can go right?

Your newest fan,

Sharita.

JosephRBarbosa
JosephRBarbosa

II would like to be put on your mailing list my email Josephbarbosa.jb@gmail.com

scilibragirl85
scilibragirl85

You all have my FULL support!! If you want to, feel free to contact me at: sharitacolter12@gmail.com and together we can fight bigotry and racism today!!

dwbp
dwbp

I loved hearing you talk about your radio interview!  The two statements you made, "we are all one race" and " we are all human", said it all !!  God bless you!  We are created in the image of God.  I laughed at your comment about fundamentalist people, I am one, I love you!!  When it comes down to it, YOU are one, that is a compliment!!  My fiance is a young African woman in Kenya, I am an old redneck.  Yes I have been there and met her and her family.  Thank God for blessing us with the opportunity to know and love each other!!  Our plan is for her to come here as soon as we can financially do that and wade through the red tape.  The young couple that you are supporting with the memes and the interview are wonderful.  God bless them, and again, God bless you.  I will find and read your book!!

HendrinaHamukwaya
HendrinaHamukwaya

Hi. I'm a black girl in an interaccial relationship. But I just wondering if u ment to pot ray dating black man as a downgrade because isint that as hateful as what people do to well us?Please reply because as a young black women that really upset me

mfrierson
mfrierson

Hello


I wanted to send you an email exchange I had with a young man on a dating site. I thought I handled it ok but I wanted to get your opinion on it and maybe you can do a video on it.

Lala88
Lala88

Hey Chris, I know there is a wait but how do we get on the google plus wait list?

Ri74
Ri74

Hi, I just read an article by Caitlin Hu at quartz talking about Christmas monsters. She wrote that Zwarte Piet (Black Piet) was a CHILD-SNATCHER!! I wrote to her asking for clarification, if there were more than one, etc. But it was posted today so i may not hear back from her until much later. Have you heard any stories surrounding characters of Christmas like this?

Mery Christmas again!

77berserk
77berserk

Hello,

I was wondering if you were aware of the situation concerning the Fox's Sleepy Hollow t.v. show. The black female lead is slowing being replaced by a second tier actress on the show. The female actress is Nicole Beharie and the person they are inching in is Katia Winters.

Sameriah 99
Sameriah 99

@77berserk Ohhh, so that is what was happening, no wonder I lost interest in the show haha!


Nicole Beharie is just perfect for the role so I lost interest when they changed the script and had Icabod actually falling for the wife's crap

ole'skool
ole'skool

HELP ME. I HAVE BEEN TRYING TO GET ON THE FORUM, BUT TO NO AVAIL. I'VE SENT 4 NOTES TO THE ADMINISTRATOR OF THE FORUM, ONLY TO FIND OUT MORE OF THE SAME. I CAN'T LOGIN. AM I BANNED FROM THE FORUM? IF SO, JUST SAY SO. THIS IS QUITE NEVER RACKING. I HAVE BEEN TRYING TO GET HELP SINCE SATURDAY.

SIGNED,

D . ROSS

Brenda55
Brenda55 moderator

@ole'skool

Oh yes.  Walk me through what is exactly going on.  How did you register?

Brenda55
Brenda55 moderator

@ole'skool I will forward this to Chris who will forward this to the IT person.

All is not lost.